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“Nobody Said A Word”: 42 Times People Saw The Biggest Elephant, No, Blue Whale, In The Room
Have you ever been in a situation where something happens in a room full of people, and you’re sure others saw it, too, but no one dares to say a word about it? When you’re forced to share the space with that huge elephant in the room until you can get out safely?
It’s arguably safe to assume that most of us have been in such a situation at least once. It’s clear that many Reddit users definitely have, as a number of them have discussed their experiences in a thread started by a member of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community. Said member asked fellow users about the times they had to share the space with not even an elephant, but a whole blue whale in the room, and they had plenty of stories to tell. Scroll down to find their accounts on the list below, and feel free to add yours in the comments section, if you, too, have ever been in such a situation.
On the list below you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with Professor of Psychology at Stetson University in Florida, Christopher J. Ferguson, who was kind enough to share his thoughts on why we avoid talking about the animal in the room.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Donald Trump has admitted twice on camera that he doesn’t ask God for forgiveness, because he likes to think he’s a good person who doesn’t do anything wrong. Also, he doesn’t have a favorite Bible quote, but rather, “It’s the whole thing, all of it.” Really, all 4,000+ pages? (That he also claims to have read.)
He’s the closest thing to the Bible’s description of the antichrist the world has ever seen, and Christians just bury their heads in the sand because he plays for their team.
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#2
That the post-WW2 boom in the American economy was a fluke, and that it was unsustainable even with our military dominance. Many of the issues we're facing as a culture are a direct result of this.
The golden era that the MAGA movement keeps calling back to -- huge U.S. manufacturing, demand for American products, outsized credibility and influence with foriegn governments -- all originate from a time when the rest of the world was crippled from the most destructive series of events in human history. America was one of the very few countries to benefit from it, and it lasted long enough that it created an entire generation who then assumed that the boom was the natural order of the world.
It's baked into their worldview, and that will never change.
But the world has changed. Instead of accepting that, or ceeding power to a younger generation with a better understanding of the actual realities of the modern world, they would rather live in the fantasy. It's infantile and entitled beyond belief, and it's also very obviously unsustainable.
It's killing our country and our planet, but instead of just acknowledging that things have changed we're arguing about how much more money the rich old people need for things to get better.
Stannous Flouride 4 weeks ago
Under the last decent Republican president (and the only one the DoD couldn't push around), Eisenhower, the top take rate was 90%. He argued correctly that wealth was not created in a vacuum. The rich only got there because of the work of others. images-682...41ae9.jpeg 
#3
I've been the elephant. I had a substance abuse problem and went to rehab. Went twice in 2021 then 2022-2023 spent the better part of 18 months in a long term facility. I've been clean and sober since getting out and have been very open about my time and where i had been but a side from my parents the rest of my family refuse to acknowledge my treatment or rehab. The word and that place is taboo. It's like for 3 years I just disappeared then suddenly I'm back and nothing ever happened. Rehab has an awful stigma around it even though it has been the best thing I've ever done.
We wanted to learn more about why people often ignore the elephant—or the blue whale—in the room, so we got in touch with Professor of Psychology at Stetson University in Florida, Christopher J. Ferguson, who pointed out that most people aren’t dying to get involved in conflict.
“Whatever the issue that came up, it may not be one they either were prepared to have a conflict over, or one that's important enough to them to have a conflict over,” he noted.
The expert added that choosing sides in a conflict is also something not many people are eager to do, as it usually comes at a social cost. “Often the conflict occurring may have broached the norms of typical social engagement, so viewers may not really know the social rules of what to do either.”
#4
We can kick the orange man out but we still have about 70 Million people in the US that are laughably easy to brainwash and take advantage of.
Its not going to be easy at all to fix. We need to start with the functional literacy rate and critical thinking skills, and unfortunately grown adults don't like to be told they aren't as smart as a 5th grader.
#5
The fact that the US Government is trying to slash the Endangered Species Act because of Colossal Biosciences' so-called "dire wolves". Like everyone's roasting the hell out of them for their grift or making analogies to Jurassic Park but nobody's pointing out the more insidious implications of the project. With the flimsy excuse that "we can just sort of recreate species if they go extinct!" they're fighting to be allowed to cause untold ecological damage without consequence.
Talking about why it can be difficult for people to address certain things even when they’re pretty obvious to them and others, Prof. Ferguson explained that this might be related to a certain tendency.
“There is a tendency people have to try to go along to get along. People don't want to be seen to be in the minority or a contrarian, even if the truth is pretty obvious. Being the contrarian often comes at social costs, even if the contrarian is correct.”
#6
The ongoing g*nocide in Gaza.
Johnnynatfan 3 weeks ago (edited)
There is a genocide. They were attacked yes, and retaliated which should not have come as a shock. However there is never an excuse to starve innocent people.
#7
On a global level, the current ongoing collapse in biodiversity. We are causing a mass extinction and it’s barely even talked about. It’s at least as big a problem as climate change which gets way more press. I think it’s ignored because seriously addressing it might be even harder than climate change and we’re utterly failing at that.
Regina Holt 4 weeks ago
And in 'murica it is just going to get worse with our dictator in chief.
#8
Work zoom call. One of the managers was running late and thought his camera was off - turns out it was on and he had just gotten out of the shower butt naked and everyone saw his huge shlong on camera. He soon realised and quickly turned off the camera.
The meeting went on like normal and nobody said a word, LOL.
Even though many of us don’t want to admit it, it’s not uncommon for people to turn a blind eye to uncomfortable truths. According to Prof. Ferguson, those who do usually fall into one of the two related groups.
“The first are people who passionately don't want the truth to be true. They will become very upset when confronted with the truth, often stretching themselves into mental pretzels to do so.
“You can see this in political conversations, or when telling people that say, social media doesn't actually cause youth mental health issues, or race doesn't actually predict police shootings in the US (both true, in fact). Most people will just shrug and say that's interesting, whether they agree or not. But some become truly angry and may go so far as to try to destroy the reputation of the person bringing that information,” the expert explained, adding that the second group comprises of people afraid of the first one.
#9
My old boss said "H*tler had the right idea about the gays" in front of me and some other people. I'm gay, and I'm pretty sure he knew, so I didn't feel comfortable saying anything, but I paused waiting for the others to. No one said anything. So I just walked away. It was in the middle of a conversation and noticeable.
#10
When Trump bluntly stated that they rigged the election. On live tv. Twice.
#11
My mom and brother got into a stupid argument when we were kids and out camping one time. It was truly some stupid nonsense kid argument, but it ended when she punched my brother in the face. And other than one of her annoying friends (who I later learned also was a child a****r) muttering 'serves him right', no one said a thing.
Nimitz 4 weeks ago
Justice for survivors of child abuse. It's f****d up that a man can go home and strangle his kids like Homer Simpson, and worse, and suffer zero consequences, even when everyone knows he's doing it. If a man walked up to a kid on the street and did that, we'd lock him up and throw away the key, as long as he's not a cop.
One might think that when a person is in a group of people they know well, it might be less awkward for them to address the blue whale in the room. However, that’s not necessarily the case. According to Prof. Ferguson, the extent to which it’s easy or difficult to address certain issues depends on where the professional and social costs lie.
“People may be reluctant to intervene with strangers because it's just not worth the bother. But people close to us can inflict the greatest professional or social costs,” he noted. “Much of ‘cancel culture’ (whether on the left or right) is designed to ensure this… demonstrate the professional costs of telling the truth so people stop doing that.
“That tended to involve one's own social group, tagging of employers, and so on. Look how in June 2020, for a brief moment, it seemed like everyone thought defunding or even abolishing the police must be a swell idea, when I'm sure 90% or so of people must have understood what a disastrous policy that would have been if ever put in place at scale (even minor efforts in the US caused homicide rates to surge).”
#12
Just about every time there is a corporate meeting where HR assures everyone it's a "judgement free, safe space" yet the heads of departments are in there too.
Everyone knows that they're being overworked and under-recognized, but anyone saying that is putting a huge target on their back by embarrassing their boss in an open forum, and the idea of a consequence-free acknowledgement of the boss demanding work over weekends or yelling at staff publicly destroying morale is something everyone knows, but no one mentions in front of them.
#13
I worked as a nurse in operating theatres
The anaesthetist was having an affair with the scrub nurse and the surgeon was the anaesthetists wife who knew about the affair
That was a VERY awkward case
Edited to add - nothing went down, it was a routine case with no problems
But the psychological tension could be cut with a scalpel.
#14
The Epstein client lists. They think this similar s**t with Diddy got us distracted enough to forget.
#16
My cousin disappeared for like a month once.
Like full on disappeared. He stopped showing up to work with no explanation, stopped messaging his mother, didnt say a word to any of his friends or on/off girlfriends. His sister even went to his apartment, it looked like he had just vanished one day leaving all his stuff. I think a missing persons report was even filed.
He resurfaced claiming he'd been over seas interviewing for a job. Clearly something checked out because the report was dropped, but that is literally all that he said as far as I know.
We had a family get together not long after he resurfaced. Nobody asked him anything, nobody even made a joke. Everyone just acted like he never left. It was weird. Especially as my family *love* the opportunity to rib each other. The closest any of my family have come to addressing it is my uncle joking that my cousin got replaced by a lizardman in disguise.
#17
What happened to the report on Russian interference in the UK government, Boris?
#18
Many years ago when I was a younger teen, my estranged uncle wanted to have thanksgiving dinner at his house to try and reconnect with the family and prove he had gotten over a lot of the substance abuse issues that caused the rift with the rest of the family.
With several young children in the house, and in front of his parents, my grandparents, things seemed to be going well at first. Outside of the MASSIVE collection of VHS p**n tapes that literally filled up two entire racks of tape storage just sitting next to the TV. There was some extremely hardcore stuff in there too just out in the open for all of us to see. What's worse was he kept trying to make comments about whatever football game was on at the time, but you literally couldn't look at the TV without seeing several videos that had naked women on the front.
This awkwardness went on for a little bit while we were there till my mom, who had been in the kitchen helping cook since we got there, came in and saw the videos and lost it on him and we left almost immediately. I never found out why he thought it was a good idea to leave them out. Or why no one else said anything to him up to that point. But I never saw him again after that and no one else ever brought it up again. I guess morale of the story is that when you're trying to prove to the rest of your family you've turned over a new leaf, don't leave hardcore pornography in plain view for children to see.
#19
I had a job where the full company, all employees meeting (remote, thankfully) included within the span of about ten minutes 1) the upper management level congratulating themselves and each other for record profits for the fifth year in a row, and 2) a "sincere" apology that they simply did not have the budget leeway to provide raises for anyone working at the ground/customer facing levels.
I quit a week later.
Regina Holt 4 weeks ago
This is so common, it's like they are oblivious to their cognitive dissonance.
#20
When two people in the group clearly have something going on but they keep acting like we’re all blind, like babe your eyes do the heart emoji thing every time he talks pls.
#21
Strange that nobody is mentioning the geopolitical and social upheavals currently happening before our very eyes.
The illegal mass deportation of non-white but completely legitimate US citizens
The obliteration of the American system of law bit by bit
The gutting of US government agencies- all of whom are clearly just an obstacle to the very people making these sweeping changes
The purposeful collapse of the US economy only for those with the resources and connections to buy everything up when the prices hit rock bottom
The fact that uber wealthy billionaires are the ones behind this and have done an amazing job at deceiving the public and changing things for their own benefit so far
Russian interference in US elections and government
And how about Russia invading another country- a country that made a deal to get rid of it's nukes in return for protection from the US (and other countries) who has now officially turned it's back on it
And on top of all of this- nobody really seems to be doing anything about these issues. There's a certain amount of outrage and complaining online- but where are the mass protests, the arrests and the actual enforcement of laws against the people who are causing catastrophic to millions and millions of people and bringing us closer every day to tyrannical control, economic collapse and/or war?
#22
I used to work in an office where my cubicle was next to the boss’s daughter. We were office buds and would chat and banter all day. Our cubes were also right next to the bathroom. Her dad, our boss, would use that bathroom and it was the most heinous thing I’d ever experienced. The most violent s***s I’d ever heard and they smelled truly awful. Like a dead opossum. I honestly wondered if he had some serious illness. This happened at least once a day. And of course his daughter and I would never acknowledge it. Her dad would go to that bathroom and we just immediately switched from chatting to staring at our computers in stone cold silence. Silence only interrupted by the most terrible sounds imaginable.
#23
Brexit in the UK. It’s the #1 driver of economic issues here right now and everyone in power is studiously ignoring it.
#24
Climate Change.
Helen Rohrlach 3 weeks ago
FFS, climate change is real. You can whinge and b***h and debate all you want but we are still going to have to deal with it. Is it really going to hurt you to at least try something to help the environment or at least not hurt it anymore?
#25
When your boss clearly shows up drunk to a Zoom meeting and people are like “technical difficulties?
#26
Saw my high school friends pass around a tin of Altoids with a white powder in it with a rolled up $1 bill as they all took turns going to the bathroom with it. I was so naive, I thought they were snorting crushed up Altoids!
Nimitz 4 weeks ago
Fun fact, by sharing a "straw" you can pick up minor viral or bacterial infections, blood born infections, or even STIs. It's very common to tear your blood vessels a little with it after repeated snorting and anything you've got goes to the people you're sharing with, or vice versa.
#27
How litigious America has become and, as a result, workplaces are completely micromanaged. Instead of solving a problem with a human approach, we do everything based on the possibility of being sued.
#28
I went to a graduation ceremony last year (pouring rain and the ceremony itself was an absolute train wreck) and there was obviously something up with commencement speaker. His face was red, his words kept slurring, he seemed kind of stumbly. It was pretty subtle at first but got worse throughout the more he was up there. At first I was concerned he was having a medical emergency, but he spent so long talking about himself and his accomplishments (in a really disorganized manner) and hadn’t dropped to the ground for a 15 min speech so it didn’t seem like it.
All the professors on the stage and the chancellor, fully decked out in their regalia, safely sheltered from the rain (unlike the graduates) were just looking at him like he was saying some insightful stuff. . . but it literally didn’t make sense. He talked about how he lost so much money that his parents gave him that he had “seen rock bottom” and that people threatened to k**l his family. Multiple times throughout the ceremony he roasted the graduating class for sitting in the rain and some student who didn’t bring an umbrella. It reeked of tone deafness. He even acknowledged his wife, who was on the stage, she didn’t seem phased or concerned at all by the slurring. Then when the chancellor came up to continue on the ceremony, as it was pouring rain and everyone was getting soaked, the speaker came back up a few minutes later and INTERRUPTED HIM. And the chancellor just let him?
Some people in the crowd began to boo, but then he told the graduates he was giving them $1000 bucks so that was nice, I guess. It was just envelopes full of wet cash. News reported on how a kind hearted billionaire gave graduates money and advice, but failed to mention him referring to the umbrellas in the audience as “elevators”? I guess money talks.
There was also something very “too on the nose” with the chancellor and speaker commending the graduates on their hard work and telling them to be proud of what they have accomplished while watching them get absolutely pelted with rain and wind.
#29
During an online Town Hall, leadership announces this person, who is known for having multiple Ethics complaints against them, as an Ethics and Compliance “champion” - AKA the person you talk to for E&C advice.
There were others named and most received applause but this person was called and I and another coworker were mouthing “but why?” and nobody reacted. There was just uncomfortable silence, and then the speaker moved on to the next person.
IDK if it was a power move or leadership just were complete idiots about it.
#30
I live in Canada, where you just don’t really see guns very often, especially not open carry in a city. Well working in a dr*gstore in a city some old guy came in with a massive rifle strapped to his back and everyone kinda just pretended not to see it. It was super weird. I think it might’ve been an air rifle for biathlon or something, but a lot of dr*gstore employees in Canada probably can’t tell things apart from far away, I know I can’t and was never completely sure lol. I just saw him walk past management on his way in and they clearly saw it and said nothing so no way I was gonna be the one. Nobody mentioned it later either.
#31
Went to a birthday party for a friend’s 4 year old. Mom of the birthday kid has a “super sweet” dog who was an absolute menace throughout the party. Barreled into everyone, especially when they first walked in the door, causing multiple kids to fall and many parents to drop the presents they brought. Stole food directly from people’s hands. Giant tail whapping around bruising peoples legs. Knocking kids over. During “Happy Birthday” a dad was trying to calm his kid down and kiddo fell onto the dog’s back, causing it to freak out and growl and snap. I thought I was about to see a child get torn apart but the dad of the birthday kid just pulled the dog over to the side and laughed. I wanted to say something but the friend I came with told me to not even try, people had talked to the mom for years and no good ever came of it so everyone just ignored it.
#32
Company-wide Zoom meeting. Exec logs in with a bottle of scotch, clearly tipsy. Starts off with, ‘Let's be honest ,none of you are hitting Q4 targets. Nobody said a thing. HR just sent a follow-up email thanking him for being transparent.
#33
Little tinfoil m**h pipe being casually passed around at a friend-of-a-friend's backyard barbeque. It was an unassuming McMansion suburb and everyone there was mid-30s and kinda nerdy, so it was baffling.
Beak Hookage 4 weeks ago (edited)
It's wild how some people assume that only poor "lower class" people use illicit substances.
#34
FSU shooter from last month.
Correct me if I am wrong, but it was a white guy who shot and killed two Hispanic men who were workers and did not go to FSU.
I believe he shot 5 other individuals as well, but like the story is just gone. Maybe it is just because I do not live in Tallahassee, but I know someone who called her mom from the student union or cafeteria thinking it was the last call she would ever make.
liam newton-harding 4 weeks ago
There are simply too many mass sh**tings per week for another “little” sh**ting to make the national News…and that’s the thing no one is talking about…that Americans are killing one another in war zone level numbers, and no one is taking it seriously.
#35
Went on a lads holiday with my mates when I was younger, there was 8 of us altogether and one of them had slept with another one’s’ girlfriend a few months beforehand. Everyone there knew about it and this was the first time the two of them had seen each other since it all came out.
Fire Singer 3 weeks ago
I need more to the story...did they get along during the trip? Was the holiday ruined? What happened?
#36
At a global level, the cambridge analytica scandal.
I literally think we have lived the french revolution of our generation.
If the french revolution marks the end of feudalism in favor of parliamentary democracies. The cambridge analytica scandal marks the end of democracy.
It showed that is perfectly possible to change the outcome of elections and it just got worse, and propagated to other countries. Its not only cambridge analytica, nowadays there are dozens of companies doing the same thing.
So essentially they have got the knowledge, the tools and the money to do whatever they want with people.
We are in a completely new social era.
Bogdan C 4 weeks ago
Interference with elections (from other countries - mainly Russia) is starting to become a thing here in Europe, now... Germany, France, Romania, Poland, Hungary, etc. It's like they thought about it and decided that if you can't beat them, make them turn on their own..........
#37
Oh you know, the AI police state the US government is building with our tax dollars. Pretty soon everyone will be replaced by robots and AI so that'll be fun, especially because they're using our own money against us.
Beak Hookage 4 weeks ago (edited)
The science fiction novel I published last year in which the robots took over years ago and nobody even noticed because humanity in general is too busy being wilfully stupid and ignorant is turning more and more into a frigging documentary by the day. I even included mentions of mass deaths caused by a resurgence of measles thanks to anti-vaxx nonsense, which someone told me was "too unrealistic"!
#38
Mine is more like several elephants that people are still trying to ignore. We have had several issues in our department. Injuries/sickness during rehearsals. Rampant sexual h*rassment and discrimination. Verbal ab*se out the wazoo.
It's all been brushed under the rug. people have gotten yelled at and ab*sed further for bringing anything up, or for even posting jokes on social media. All because our department is getting a brand new building that was just built and they're afraid that any little thing will cause them to "lose" it. I'm at the point where I believe we don't deserve that new building with all the things that have been done or covered up, we deserve to be shut down.
#39
When my dad told me I was adopted while teaching me the traditional method of flensing.
#40
When I was still in college, there was a tutor who was married and had kids. Everybody knew this , she was very obviously having an affair with another tutor they barely hid it.
Nobody called them out, not even the head of the department.
#41
The amount of actual alcoholics is so much greater... the issue? You're only labeled an acoholic if it affects your surroundings negatively...
If it doesn't, you're just called outgoing, fun-loving... just having your "Feierabendbier"...
#42
This is not nearly as bad as some of the other ones, but I have a friend who I have confessed to on two separate occasions, they said they felt the same, and then nothing happened in person, we both just ignored it (ON BOTH OCCASIONS).
OhnoI’vebeencensored 4 weeks ago
What did you confess to that they felt the same way about? Was it unironically liking Taylor Swift?
What do you think ?
Apatheist Account2 3 weeks ago
Any chance we can edit out all the Trump stuff? I know he's behaving like a lunatic - I suspect everyone except him knows - I'm just getting fed up with it appearing in so many articles.
Apatheist Account2 3 weeks ago
Any chance we can edit out all the Trump stuff? I know he's behaving like a lunatic - I suspect everyone except him knows - I'm just getting fed up with it appearing in so many articles.
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