30 People Confess What Makes Them Reject Someone Immediately On Dating Apps Interview
Swipe! A mere flick of a finger is all it takes for you to find that perfect match made in heaven. Well, at least it would in an ideal world. Because these days, venturing into the dating arena often feels like spinning a wheel of fortune where only a lucky few encounter carefully-curated online personas that actually meet reality.
The chances of meeting someone kind and compassionate sometimes seem extremely low. And despite taking plenty of precautions, there's a strong possibility a potential candidate will shatter every last bit of hope for your dreamy relationship into pieces. So it's best to arm yourself with knowledge about the red flags to look out for to ensure that your efforts don't go to waste.
"When it comes to dating apps, what is an automatic 'pass' for you?" asked Redditor LuckyC1723 and it sparked an illuminating thread on 'Ask Reddit'. People immediately jumped to the comment section to share their takes about the biggest turn-offs that make them swipe left without a second thought. We at Bored Panda have rounded up some of the most memorable responses to share with you all, so continue scrolling! Keep reading to also find our interviews with the Redditor who sparked this conversation, as well as Canada-based dating coach Sally Heart, down below. Then upvote the replies you agree with and be sure to weigh in with your own suggestions in the comments.
We managed to get in touch with Redditor LuckyC1723, who was kind enough to have a chat about what inspired them to start this conversation in the first place. "I was just curious to see what other people value. It’s interesting to constantly see a lot of notifications from all the responses. It was fun," the user shared with Bored Panda. "It was cool to see what things were the most common 'passes.'"
When it comes to the instant turn-offs they personally feel while swimming in the deep waters of the dating pool, "not smiling with teeth is my biggest one", the user said. The one response that stood out the most in the comments was about the profiles with lists of demands, they added. "I’ve seen them but forgot about those types of bios."
As people jumped to the comments to share the most frustrating things they encounter while looking for The One, a brief scroll through this list may convince you that navigating the twists and turns of the online dating world is tough. "I think it’s difficult because there are so many options," LuckyC1723 said. "Why take this person seriously when you have another person or several waiting to talk to you."
"Respect yourself," the user advised. "If you’re confused about someone you’re interested in — move on. A person who is also interested in you won’t confuse you. You’ll know for sure they are into you."
A profile that's just a list of demands. "Don't be this, don't do this, spend money on me, do this, do that, etc."
Today, an astonishing number of people turn to their phones or the internet believing it’s the best place to meet singles. Statista reports that in 2020, there were an estimated 26.6 million smartphone dating app users in the United States. And it’s hardly surprising, as dating sites and mobile apps are extremely helpful tools to bring two people together. Most of the time.
Because despite what many people think, the dire reality is that finding a partner has not become easier at all. Data from Pew Research Center has shown that nearly half of U.S. adults — and a majority of women — say that dating has become harder in the last 10 years. Would-be daters sometimes experience how apps tend to bring out the worst in some people, and many consistently express dissatisfaction, frustration, and hopelessness about the process.
If any statement includes "if you can't handle", nah, I'm out.
Because if she can't handle me at my most selective, then she doesn't deserve me at my most openminded.
Also, demanding that you be original while her profile is exactly the same as 99% of other women's profiles, f**k that.
To gain insight from an expert in the field, we reached out to dating coach Sally Heart who aims to help women build the necessary mindset and strategy to find and attract the love they truly deserve. She has a free online dating safety course called Safety Hacks for Online Dating to keep women safe from the dangers of online dating, including how to avoid scams or risks to personal safety using smart resources.
According to Sally, people tend to face many emotional hazards as they swipe and scroll because on these apps, the feeling of anonymity is present, even if people share their photos. "Some people lose the sense that there is a real person behind the other screen, and as a result will say or do things they wouldn’t normally do if they had met in person," she explained.
"Find out ;)"
I don't know if it's common everywhere, but it is in my region.
Sir, if I wanted to find anything out, I'd hire a private detective. And you're not worth the money.
“I’m actually 20, idk why it says 24 lol”
Or something to that effect.
single word replies to everything with no effort to make conversation.
if you weren't interested, why tf did you match.
The dating coach pointed out that while there may be many pitfalls in online dating, the biggest one is daters failing to make a strong enough attempt to meet other people. "You should be trying to go on at least a date a week. At the end of the day, online dating is no different than regular dating… it’s a numbers game!"
"The more people you meet, the more likely you’ll meet the right person for you," the coach continued. "Your goal should be to try to meet people in person as quickly as possible because that’s going to determine if there is a real connection and fit for the long term. The in-person connection will always trump an online connection."
Height requirements kind of bum me out... I'm 6'2", likely to be taller than any woman I match with, it's just... I don't see myself getting along with anyone who would make that such a set-in-stone priority that it's in their profile.
Naming country music as one of their interests is also a bit of a gray flag. Not a knock on the genre or its fans, it's just usually an indicator that we're not speaking the same language.
People who behave like they're too good for you. Instant no.
But it may feel challenging to find a match when dating apps nudge people to make split-second decisions by relying on profile pictures and descriptions that guide them. "Online dating IS all about looks and first impressions," Sally told Bored Panda. "That’s why I encourage all my clients to put some effort in their profile pictures while painting an 'accurate' picture of who they are."
Talk too much about who they want and not enough about who they are
The dating coach advised you to always put your best foot forward and show off your best assets. "That said, don't use filters in an attempt to make yourself look better. For men, they hate it when they can’t see a woman’s body in pictures, and for women, they hate it when men wear nothing but hats and sunglasses."
"You want to accurately represent what you look like but in the best light possible. Wear your nicest clothes, the ones that show off your best assets and make an effort with your hair, makeup and overall aesthetic. It’s not about wearing tons of makeup if that’s not you, but about showing yourself in the best light," Sally added.
There are some profiles where people are obviously angry at their lack of success in finding a hook-up or relationship or whatever. Stuff like “I doubt anyone here is even real.” Or “I hate profile questions, just message me.” Or “I’m not interested in going 20 rounds in chat. Message me if you want a real man and a real date.”
The lack of effort tells me that you and I would not be compatible.
People who brag about paying their own bills like it isn’t already something you’re supposed to be doing.
We were curious to learn what mistakes to avoid in a profile bio, as well as what a good online dating profile should look like to give you real chances of finding love. "The BIGGEST mistake I see people make with their online dating profile is including negative language: 'Don’t message me if… I can’t stand a man who… My pet peeves are… I hate it when...'" Sally explained.
"Another terrible faux pas that I continue to see people do is to crap all over online dating or allude to the fact that you don’t want to be online: 'My friends made this profile for me… I know this isn’t the best place to meet people… I haven’t had the best luck with this…' etc."
Weird anime pictures or memes instead of a normal
Picture of them
"future milf" /
"can probably outsmoke/drink you" /
"5'6 cause it matters" /
"let me meet your dog" /
"hmu with your best pickup line" /
"I made this as a joke"
Just be creative, for f**k's sake. People who use these tired lines are basically signaling that all they have going for them is their looks.
One more thing: if you're almost exclusively posting yourself in a bikini, I'm not interested. Not because I'm a prude or anything, but some girls' profiles look like an 1800's slave auction with the way they advertise themselves. It makes me feel like a pervert. It signals to me that they pride themselves on their looks instead of their character. Men aren't as shallow as people think they are. A lot of us can see through that s**t.
I'm interested to see what women experience on the other end of Tinder. It's probably much, much worse.
When they start listing what they don't want, stuff like "don't talk to me if you're under 6'0" tall"
Your profile is crucial when determining your success online, so if you wish to stand out from the crowd and find potential dates, Sally had a few suggestions. "People should be focusing on showing and demonstrating who they are by painting a picture. Instead of saying 'I am a kind person', you could tell them how you demonstrate that characteristic 'I help out at a local shelter every month.'"
People who take photos of themselves pretending to be asleep. So cringe.
Listing religion as a requirement. That is, not if it lists "Religion: Christian" or something, but when they say something like "Must be interested in improving his relationship with Jesus".
“I can probably out smoke you” ye that’s not a flex Makayla
While it’s important to remember that online dating takes time, the dating coach offered some tips to help you find a match in no time. "If you’re a woman, ASK MEN OUT! Being the approacher is different from being the pursuer. Contrary to popular belief, the majority of men love it when the woman makes the first move, so BE BOLD," she advised.
Moreover, consider including videos or audio of you talking in your profile as this makes you feel like a real person. "[This] reduces the number of negative or rude messages you’ll receive and increases your odds of connecting with people and being asked out on dates. It’s harder to be mean to someone who you can watch and listen to, it makes you more 'human,'" Sally concluded.
People who are super political in their bio. If all you have to say about yourself is your political affiliation, I already know it's gonna be a headache to talk to you in text or person.
When they have so many filters and only close up shots from the chin up.
"I'm here for a good time, not a long one"
I don't take issue if you want to live your life like that, but if I have to hear the phrase again I'm gonna hide in a space shuttle and get off while I'm on the moon.
When I was on dating apps, number one thing that made me pass was kids.
Respect to anyone who's making it work, I am friends with single parents and it's f*****g rough. But I do not like kids and even if I did I am not at a point in my life where I can be a parental figure.