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Viviane

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Viviane

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Viviane • commented on 2 posts 11 hours ago

30 Times Restaurants Left Hilarious Replies Under Bad Reviews, Shared By This Instagram Page

No, I believe that's Cajun cooking.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Good point about teachers keeping religion out of sex ed. A teenager can generally write off a parent's "rule" as just one or two people's preferences. When it's a teacher, it may influence a greater number of people. The abstinence-only version is awful (even my slightly conservative colleague is smarter than that -- if her kids don't wait till marriage, they'll at least have useful information).

Viviane • upvoted an item 23 hours ago

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Its a different thing if a person does it or a teacher. Teachers should be to teach sex ed not religion

Viviane • upvoted 11 items 1 day ago

30 Times Restaurants Left Hilarious Replies Under Bad Reviews, Shared By This Instagram Page

Okay, that one's just weird. "Your food isn't authentic Chinese because it doesn't taste like what I had in Cambodia." Hmm. That's like saying, "This food isn't authentic Mexican because it tastes nothing like what I had in Canada."

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

I hate this. If I had kids I would actually talk to them about how we should do things and calm them down. Or at least try to understand their feelings.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

My son is 9 and we have had this conversation many times. I have made a distinction of whistle blowing and tattle tailing. One is important and one is trivial. If someone is in danger, or violence is involved you must go get help. I say this knowing that if he would try to handle the situation himself he could also be implicated as a wrong doer. Example, Ben slaps Tony, Tony must not slap back in self defense or he will be punished as well. This is for young children to learn. When my son enters middle school, I will teach him that the guidelines have slightly changed. He will be older and more mature to assess the situation and resolve it on his own, without having to run and tell. If he can not resolve the conflict, then he should ask for help. He is to learn, that by telling an adult or teacher the situation, in order to get help, is the right decision. Telling, because you are mad and want to get someone in trouble, is something to avoid.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

*sorry for the bad writing* When a boy is mean to you, that means he likes you.. the same goes for PARENTS who say they do things for "your own good" ""you'll thank him later" "stop being ungrateful" (this being it's own kind of abuse ! #one example# going against your decisions (as a job) sending to a convertion therapy camp for being gay [ "but it's for your own good" "you'll feel better later" we have to cure you.. for you" 'stripping you (also literally) of your confidence locking you up disgusting you of (men/women it depends then) telling you what you are is wrong and brainwashing you "WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING BACK ! WHY AREN'T YOU GRATEFUL ?? WHY ARE YOU STRUGGLING ? WHY CAN'T YOU SEE HOW """"LOVE"""" ] AND ALL THOSE KIND OF DISGUSTING THINGS !! just not taking your 'avis' into account choosing your future your career you orientation !

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

And I upvoted you for that.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

My father never apologized for ANYTHING. Everything was always my fault/responsibility

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Been there. At 61 I still have issues because of this. Dismissing behaviors and feelings as "just teen or preteen thing, just dramatic, spoiled, etc..."

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Had sex education in elementaty school in austria (4 th grade), at least the basics, that was in 1992/93

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Viviane • commented on 26 posts 1 day ago

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Part of it may be propaganda ("greatest country in the world") in education. The US may have represented a beacon of hope to immigrants years ago, but many countries have outpaced the US in livability.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

I don't think that rich people should divest of all their money, but I have no issue with progressive tax. I'm in a higher tax bracket than 15 years ago and have no children, but I'm happy to help pay for schools and other benefits for children. And what about people who inherit wealth? Were they somehow rewarded for their hard work and talent at choosing parents before conception?

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Just a heads up... From Merriam-Webster: "offensive : a weak or effeminate man or boy —used as a term of abuse and disparagement." From my experience, effeminate does not equal weak. Maybe your father is a conflict-averse wimp?

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

I was impressed when my aunt-in-law had a political disagreement with her teenager. She was firm, but calm and patient in refuting his views. I still don't agree with all her son's opinions, but our last discussion was really civil.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Exactly. My sister trained her kids not to run around parking lots by explaining why it was dangerous. One of her clued-out friends let her child do it, so my sister told her that it wasn't safe. The friend then screamed at her kid for making her look like a bad mother. She repeated the same behaviour in another situation where my sister told her (nicely) that something wasn't safe for her daughter. I suspect she was shamed a lot as a child, mistakes any and all advice for more shaming, then shames her child.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

For the traffic, grab the kid and explain afterwards. We do this as adults, too. For example, someone wants something from you, but you have to deal with a more urgent matter. You might only have time to say, "Sorry, I have to do this right now." Once finished, you can explain to the person "I had to prepare a chart because a big client called today to meet the manager ASAP. Looks like my chart helped her make a big sale".

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

My teacher told kids not to snitch. I stayed silent when I was being bullied by the girls who took me to school and then home. One day, my mother opened my snowsuit and snow fell out. I refused to rat them out. Given that their behaviour had escalated to hitting me with a paddle, it's likely that I would have ended up with stitches - if my mother hadn't persuaded me to tell her what had happened.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

That's hard. I know one case where a boy was tormented by his younger sister who snitched over picayune stuff. Their grandmother got fed up and told her off. Luckily, that phase lasted less than a year and they do get along well.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

As a teenager, I picked up pamphlets in the guidance counsellor's office. I read, I studied, because I wanted to be ready well ahead of time. No... ahem... personal experience in high school, but I was a walking encyclopedia of contraceptive advice to other kids.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

One of my colleagues is a bit conservative, but she's very good about explaining safe sex and contraception to her kids. She tells them "When you get married...", but I doubt she thinks they'll wait until marriage to have sex. Sometimes parents express their wishes or values, but it's not always a direct order.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Ireland reminds me of Canada's province of Quebec: many institutions were under the heavy hand of the Catholic church until around 1960. They didn't have Magdalen laundries (basically slave labour), but there were plenty of other abuses of power.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

My go-to phrase: "I stand corrected."

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

I joked to a new employee about being the village idiot. "I ask the dumb questions to spare others from doing so." It might be contagious. I recently gave a presentation to my colleagues and one asked a lot questions. I didn't have all the answers, so I said, "That's a really good question, I'll check that out."

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

"Get over it" is a way to let the guilty party off the hook. I understand that kids can be assholes, but they need to be taught. As a child, I got bullied a bit more than average, but I also picked on two different kids. I'm grateful to the two teachers who told me off and nipped my bullying in the bud.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

How I see adolescence: a time of having adult-sized emotions without the adult's experience to handle them.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Years back, I read an amazing essay by Augusten Burroughs - "How to Ditch a Dream": https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/articles/201205/two-minute-memoir-how-ditch-dream

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Another issue to consider: some people blossom a little later or under different circumstances. A colleague told me that her daughter was not a good singer, but wanted singing lessons. She actually became good at it. The discipline from her passionate hobby was later put into another field where she can make a living.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

I was impressed by my husband's aunt. Her teenage son was discussing his radical politics with her. She patiently explained her views and tried to refute his. She never once told him to shut up or put down his views. He's a good adult now. I don't agree with some of his views, but our discussions have been very civil. My parents, especially my father, would never have allowed such discussions, let alone be calm in disagreeing!

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Open dialogue and asking questions can be reasonable. Telling a child that they're special and thus always right is unreasonable and unrealistic.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

If I had a son who came to me about being teased by a girl, I would ask how she behaves with him, then discuss ways to deal with it.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

It's not universal. Several decades ago, at my elementary school, some boys showed interest by chatting with girls about common interests. The boys in my husband's family don't behave that way, either.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

One can find good boys with a wee hint of bad. I don't need a bad boy to make me lose sleep or sponge off me. Banter with my sometimes sarcastic good boy fulfills my bad boy needs and allows me to be unladylike. His aunt married a good boy with a motorcycle. He looks badass, but he's totally sweet and responsible.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

That could be one reason. There are others: rebelling against parents; some "bad boys" manipulate vulnerable girls; some feel special because the "bad boy" acts interested in them; they don't feel they deserve better because their parents put them down; the "bad boy" seems more fun and exciting.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Even just validating someone's feelings is better than telling them to tolerate a problem. I felt a unsure what to do when a 10-year-old girl told me that her brother was allowed to use their father's computer and she wasn't. All I could do was say, "It doesn't sound very fair to me." Two days later, she came back with a big grin and said, "I get to go on the computer now." I was impressed that she only needed an outside opinion to assert herself.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Swan H, thanks for responding. I found this definition: "Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person or group makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or memories. People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves." What term would you suggest for: telling a child that a boy who bullies her does it because he likes her and therefore her perceptions are incorrect?

30 Times Restaurants Left Hilarious Replies Under Bad Reviews, Shared By This Instagram Page

Darn deliciously right!

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Viviane • submitted 3 list additions 1 month ago

Hey Pandas, How About You Try To Make Him Cute? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What’s Your Favorite Experience While Flying On An Airline? (Closed)

Viviane • submitted 14 list additions 2 months ago

Hey Pandas, What Were Some Of Your Childhood Fears? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Is Something You've Done Before It Was Popular? (Closed)

Hey Pandas I Think I Am Fat And Idk How To Tell My Family This

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Hey Pandas, What Do You Think Of Modern Music? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Was Your Favorite Part About 2020? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Do You Think 2021 Will Be Like? (Closed)

Viviane • submitted 3 list additions 3 months ago

Hey Pandas, What Is The Weirdest Way You've Gotten Hurt/Sick? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Food? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What's The Best Piece Of Advice You've Ever Been Given? (Closed)

Viviane • commented on 2 posts 11 hours ago

30 Times Restaurants Left Hilarious Replies Under Bad Reviews, Shared By This Instagram Page

No, I believe that's Cajun cooking.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Viviane • commented on 18 posts 1 day ago

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

My go-to phrase: "I stand corrected."

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

How I see adolescence: a time of having adult-sized emotions without the adult's experience to handle them.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Years back, I read an amazing essay by Augusten Burroughs - "How to Ditch a Dream": https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/articles/201205/two-minute-memoir-how-ditch-dream

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Viviane • upvoted an item 23 hours ago

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Its a different thing if a person does it or a teacher. Teachers should be to teach sex ed not religion

Viviane • upvoted 19 items 1 day ago

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

I know a few people who happily post pictures of their naked toddlers on social media with no privacy barriers whatsoever on their profiles. It makes me so uncomfortable.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

I was the same way. My mom often would tell me what to do ant not explain why and if I asked it was “because I said so” so yeah I back talked her. She couldn’t explain herself I back talked

30 Times Restaurants Left Hilarious Replies Under Bad Reviews, Shared By This Instagram Page

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

I hate this. If I had kids I would actually talk to them about how we should do things and calm them down. Or at least try to understand their feelings.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

And I upvoted you for that.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

My father never apologized for ANYTHING. Everything was always my fault/responsibility

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Been there. At 61 I still have issues because of this. Dismissing behaviors and feelings as "just teen or preteen thing, just dramatic, spoiled, etc..."

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Had sex education in elementaty school in austria (4 th grade), at least the basics, that was in 1992/93

30 Times Restaurants Left Hilarious Replies Under Bad Reviews, Shared By This Instagram Page

I think what the reviewer meant to say was that the food she had was just like a typical Chinese menu in any other restaurant and did not taste cambodian at all. But I'm with the owner on this one too ^^. I think the Cambodians know their own cuisine enough lol

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

And responding to "why?" with "because I said so". I'm 61 and still hate and resent being told that. It's not an answer just a dismissal

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

It also varies by where you are in the US. I was in public school the same time as you. We learned about the basics of reproduction in 5th grade, along with the basic user manual for our impending puberty. Then in 9th grade health class, we learned about contraception, STDs, consent, peer pressure, and drugs. We were taught that abstinence was safest, but they still went over all the available contraceptive methods and their efficacy rates as well as the importance of condoms for STD protection. This was before there were effective treatments for HIV/AIDS so they really hammered on us about condom use.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

The fact that you broke your leg doesn’t make my ankle hurt any less.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Saw a quote somewhere: "Follow your heart, but don't leave your brain behind."

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

And for the kids that are upset that you did the right thing, parents need to teach them to get their priorities straight. No one should feel bad for doing the right thing.

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

My parents admit to making two mistakes. Myself and my younger sister XD

30 Harmful Things Parents Should Stop Teaching Their Kids

Keep in mind though that some kids use the snitching to gain control over others. My sister's friend owned and ran a daycare. The owner's daughter would come to her and tell on kids that were being bad and the owner would put the "offending" child in time out. That was until my sister visited and kept an eye on the owner's daughter from around the corner. She saw the girl walk up to a kid, stare at him for a minute, and then march upstairs to her mother and say "Thomas hit me!" When my sister called her out on it, the mother grounded her daughter for the rest of the week for lying...she couldn't play with the other kids.

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