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Giving-Birth-Women-Regret-Stories
When i was pregnant we were told theres a v high chance the baby has down syndrome. I knew someone with ds, functioning adult, worked as a masseur and spoke 2 languages, people with downs are happy and delightful. My son is 19, has severe autism and severe learning disabilities, completely dependent in every way, cant do anything for himself and has to be watched 24/7. We love him wholeheartedly but our lives have always been about him and we have 0 family life. Hes only home because husband is strong enough to change his nappy and when hes 21 and finishes school he has to go in to residential which tears our hearts out because well miss him and he wont understand why hes been left in a strange place and cant be home. What will happen when were not there for him? As much as i adore him with every fibre of my being if Idve known I wouldnt have gone ahead with the pregnancy. Not because of us but for him.
Giving-Birth-Women-Regret-Stories
I love my daughter a lot, she's amazing creative funny and sweet. I wouldn't change her for anything. But I regret having her with her father, I regret the choice to give her his last name and put him on the birth certificate, I regret that she had to witness me being abused by him and that she is forced to spend time with him due to my poor past choices. And also regret having her at 21 whilst not really young, it was still too young and I missed out on a lot that I'm having to do now like university, having a good relationship, spending time with friends etc. And my body and mind are messed up from having a csection, the anxiety and trauma from a traumatic birth and the postnatal depression. Also I should of listened to my own mum on all of the above instead of saying "you don't know the love between me and childs dad, you just want to control me" I wish I could go back to the past and listen to every warning.
Giving-Birth-Women-Regret-Stories
I wasn’t prepared to almost die, lose my uterus, or raise a disabled child. I love my son so much, but damn… I never would have chosen this life for him. For any of us. I feel naive and stupid for ever thinking I was ready for this. For convincing my husband we were ready for this.
Giving-Birth-Women-Regret-Stories
I'll preface this with I love my son with all my heart. I was never prepared for a child with disabilities. We were warned beforehand and we were so sure we'd manage just fine. The part that kills me the most is that my husband deals with it all just fine and I'm a mess. I feel like I was never meant to be a mom, at least to young kids. I have an 18 year old that lives with his father that I've always been able to relate to and have no problems being a part time mom to. Maybe I was just never meant to be a full time parent, which sounds like such bullsh*t to me. I don't know. I'm rambling. I'm lonely
Giving-Birth-Women-Regret-Stories
Being made into a walking incubator who must adhere to strict guidelines of how and what to eat and drink, must not have this, or that. How dare I loose weight! Every thing I did second guessed, but when I went for help because of leg swelling, dismissed like it was no big deal (I was in pre-E at the time and the doc refused to see it). Having to have my pelvis reconstructed after walking around for years with my organs barely inside of me and told that there was nothing they would do until I was nearly 40 because "I might have more kids" and the fix they did do in my 20's didn't fix sh*t. Pain in sex. Being jabbed with chemicals just as the child is birthing because it's "standard of care." Being told that I didn't know anything about pregnancy and childbirth and that I wasn't in labour (and yet, had the kid less than 3 hrs later). Being treated as a third class citizen because "we want a healthy baby" but not a healthy mother AND child. Knowing that my worth to not only my family of origin, but to his family, was the crotch drops I made, and that I had no value or worth. Learning that I was expendable. That I didn't have kids, I was not a real woman anyway. That as a teen mother, it was assumed I dropped out of high school. That, also as a teen mother, having a stillbirth meant no sympathy other than "at least you're not a teen mother!" Knowing full well that child services will be used like a hammer against you if you don't parent the way others see fit. Gez... society as a whole really firetrucks with a woman of childbearing age.
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