Jay Hegener
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Jay Hegener • upvoted an item 1 month ago
Jay Hegener • upvoted 2 items 2 months ago
Babysitters-Reveal-Dark-Secrets-Seemingly-Normal-Parents
I was giving the 4 year old a bath and he asked me "Why don't you touch me like dad does?" That was my first red flag. Eventually the dad would show up at home unannounced to just hang out with me when the kids were napping. (I was 18) One day he got a vasectomy and told me if I wanted he could send a couple "blank shots" at me. A few days later he full on assaulted me. I locked myself in the bedroom and called his wife; she wouldn't believe me. I called my brother and he rushed over with a baseball bat.
Babysitters-Reveal-Dark-Secrets-Seemingly-Normal-Parents
I'm not sure of this counts but this is my secret between myself and my nephew. My sister was 23/24 and she was going through her divorce. She and her 3 year old son came to live with us. I was in high school at the time and devoted all of my after school time to him. He and I were close. We were so close I would be on the couch with him in my lap at 3am watching In the Night Garden for the billionth time, still in my school uniform but now smelling of regurgitated milk and doing math homework with my left arm. Mean while my sister would be out partying and what not. One day, it was just my nephew and I. At the time he was i think around 4? I was in my school uniform, getting ready to leave for school. He was "helping" me get ready by putting his favorite toys in my bag. As I was heading out, I told him that I loved him like usual and he replied "I love you too mummy". I was stunned but I was already running late so I brushed it off and went to school. After that, when we were alone, my nephew started calling me "mummy". He was genuine. I asked him "What about mummy?" And he tells me how "she doesnt really love me, you love me. And nanny loves me". I tried to encourage him to call me auntie again and he did when others were around but when we were alone, he looked at me with his sweet little eyes and called me "mummy". He eventually says "I wish you were my real mummy". Tantrums become more common for him. He throws them when his mum is around and begins to avoid her hugs. Her hugs were only there to pose for selfies and to show off what a good parent she is. He would start crying and screaming and get sent to his room for misbehaving. My mum (nanny) and my sister would go out and leave me in charge. I would then go to my nephew and give him a big ol' bear hug. I'm not the parent and he isn't my child but our secret was mutual. I wished he were my child and he wished I was his mum. We had to keep our wishes secret because if my sister knew that I was ruining her image by taking all of the mother-son love then hell would have broken loose. She was all about "self image" to the point she became a compulsive liar and she also has some other mental problems. His teachers noticed our bond when he entered primary school and his afterschool baby sitters knew about his "other mum". My nephew is 10 now. I don't know if he remembers any of this but the other day was my birthday and for the very first time, he tried to earn money through chores to by me a gift himself. It was a squirtle amiibo. TL;DR My baby nephew and I developed a secret mother/son bond that only teachers and babysitters picked up on and it had to be secret because his real mum is crazy. Jay Hegener • upvoted 4 items 3 months ago
Zookeepers-Share-Dark-Zoo-Secrets
Animals sometimes kill other animals and there really isn't much that can be done about it. I remember when a groundhog made it into a chimpanzee exhibit and the baby of the group found it. She caught it and played with it for a long time. Eventually, to keep it from running away, the baby beat it to death right beside the viewing windows. She then held it like a stuffed teddy bear for another half an hour, dragging it around with her when she went to forage. Mind you, this happened right in front of a group of school children. I was in the viewing area and a teacher/chaperone insisted that I "do something". Like, what? Ma'am, that's a chimpanzee; nobody's doing anything. The kids actually learned something on that trip to the zoo, though.Zookeepers-Share-Dark-Zoo-Secrets
Animals sometimes kill other animals and there really isn't much that can be done about it. I remember when a groundhog made it into a chimpanzee exhibit and the baby of the group found it. She caught it and played with it for a long time. Eventually, to keep it from running away, the baby beat it to death right beside the viewing windows. She then held it like a stuffed teddy bear for another half an hour, dragging it around with her when she went to forage. Mind you, this happened right in front of a group of school children. I was in the viewing area and a teacher/chaperone insisted that I "do something". Like, what? Ma'am, that's a chimpanzee; nobody's doing anything. The kids actually learned something on that trip to the zoo, though.
Zookeepers-Share-Dark-Zoo-Secrets
Ok, as is tradition, not a full zookeeper buuut... When I was a teenager in the 90s, I did volunteer work at the Oakland zoo. There weren't many of us, so we got to choose where we helped out, so I chose to work with Bhakti, the 32ish year old Bengal Tiger. Nearly oldest living in captivity when he finally passed. I chose him because he was beautiful, and he always seemed lonely. He had pacing syndrome hardcore, so his entire paddock was green and lush except for the paths along the outer fence line and one or two diagonals he used to get into and out of his night cage. The keepers did their best with him, but had clearly written him off. He was grumpy, unsocial, hid from the public, swiped and hissed at keepers, and ignored all of the enrichment toys and food put out to keep him mobile. They had a few young Siberians in quarantine already waiting to be put on display, they just had to wait for him to pass and the stubborn old cat lived to spite them. He always started the morning by pacing his fence line, so I started pacing with him. No eye contact, no sounds, just walking back and forth for an hour or two. After a couple weeks, he started chuffing at me when I arrived, so I learned how to mimic it to say hi back. Another month, and he would actually break his pacing circuit to walk with me, jogging his ancient arthritic ass from wherever he was across the green sections to match me. Poor guy just needed a friend. I still get a bit misty eyed thinking about him. Just a lonely old cat who had to spend the last years of his life basically alone. Don't get me wrong though, the keepers really did do their best, but they couldn't spend all day with him like I could. They had many duties and creatures to care for and he had a really steep barrier to entry as a friend. As grumpy as he was, I still think he was good people.
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Jay Hegener • upvoted an item 7 months ago
Jay Hegener • commented on a post 7 months ago
Jay Hegener • upvoted 28 items 8 months ago
Childhood-Assumptions-Luxury-Things-Askreddit
Mom's are the best, she is a boss. My mom was single and I was the youngest of 3 children so I only ever got hand me downs. At Christmas time we couldn't even afford a tree so she made one out of lights on the wall and asked us each which 1 present we wanted the most. She somehow always made it happen. Years later she told me it was her lunch money she saved for weeks by not eating. She gave everything for us and always did her best. My mom lost her battle to colon cancer in July of 2017. She fought for 3 years and went through 7 rounds of chemotherapy. I was lucky enough to be there and take care of her during it all and was with her the moment her heart stopped. It warms my heart to feel so much love from you all and helps me to know that humanity will always prevail. Please stay safe and continue to be amazing human beings.
Done-Helping-Others-Moment-Askreddit
Met a guy who had hit a rough patch. We had great chemistry and he made me laugh (ugh the bar was SO low). He gave me a sob story of why he was getting kicked out of his communal house and I offered to let him stay with me because I live alone and have my own place. HUGE MISTAKE! He hadn't hit a rough patch, he was the rough patch. Barely paid for anything and would get wasted while I was at work and be a total ass hole when I got home. Got fired from his job, ate all the food I'd buy and make excuses as to why he hadn't found another job yet. The absolute kicker was when I went home for my Nonna's funeral, he treated it like a mini vacation in my place. Invited friends over, played music so loud the cops got called and when he was supposed to pick me up from the airport, he was wasted at someone's house at 8 am. Never felt better than the day I kicked him out. No more financial and emotional abuse. Finally felt like my place was mine again. I've learned an expensive lesson. Don't help people that won't help themselves. When nothing is their fault, there's a serious issue. Run fast and far.Done-Helping-Others-Moment-Askreddit
This is more specific to the teeny-tiny town I used to live in. Used to believe I was valued by the community. Used to actually believe in that community spirit, that soul, if you will. I had seen it and participated in it. When I left my marriage of almost 13 years, there had been about ten years of domestic violence. I well and truly thought the community would help me out if I needed it and reached out, as I had seen so many other times in the 15 years I had lived there. Nope, got quite the opposite. Nobody believed me. People who I thought were friends disappeared. People who I thought were friends played the, ‘It wasn’t really that bad was it?’ card. People that I thought I could trust to help keep me safe by not tell anyone where I was living went straight to my abuser with that info. Hardly anyone would even speak to me, even just to say hi, when I needed acknowledgement most. F*** all of those f****.Done-Helping-Others-Moment-Askreddit
Was donating baby/toddler clothes to a mom in need through one of those Facebook donating pages. She didn't have a car, I did so I drove 30 minutes away to deliver the stuff all for free. Got in a bad accident less than 5 blocks from her house. So I texted her to see if she could come get what she was able to because my car was totaled. She wouldn't walk the 4 blocks then reported me to the group and got me kicked out for "not following through". I ended up with a fractured sternum, yeah F*** that s***, never again.Show All 28 Upvotes
Jay Hegener • commented on 3 posts 8 months ago
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Jay Hegener • upvoted an item 1 month ago
Jay Hegener • upvoted 2 items 2 months ago
Babysitters-Reveal-Dark-Secrets-Seemingly-Normal-Parents
I was giving the 4 year old a bath and he asked me "Why don't you touch me like dad does?" That was my first red flag. Eventually the dad would show up at home unannounced to just hang out with me when the kids were napping. (I was 18) One day he got a vasectomy and told me if I wanted he could send a couple "blank shots" at me. A few days later he full on assaulted me. I locked myself in the bedroom and called his wife; she wouldn't believe me. I called my brother and he rushed over with a baseball bat.Babysitters-Reveal-Dark-Secrets-Seemingly-Normal-Parents
I'm not sure of this counts but this is my secret between myself and my nephew. My sister was 23/24 and she was going through her divorce. She and her 3 year old son came to live with us. I was in high school at the time and devoted all of my after school time to him. He and I were close. We were so close I would be on the couch with him in my lap at 3am watching In the Night Garden for the billionth time, still in my school uniform but now smelling of regurgitated milk and doing math homework with my left arm. Mean while my sister would be out partying and what not. One day, it was just my nephew and I. At the time he was i think around 4? I was in my school uniform, getting ready to leave for school. He was "helping" me get ready by putting his favorite toys in my bag. As I was heading out, I told him that I loved him like usual and he replied "I love you too mummy". I was stunned but I was already running late so I brushed it off and went to school. After that, when we were alone, my nephew started calling me "mummy". He was genuine. I asked him "What about mummy?" And he tells me how "she doesnt really love me, you love me. And nanny loves me". I tried to encourage him to call me auntie again and he did when others were around but when we were alone, he looked at me with his sweet little eyes and called me "mummy". He eventually says "I wish you were my real mummy". Tantrums become more common for him. He throws them when his mum is around and begins to avoid her hugs. Her hugs were only there to pose for selfies and to show off what a good parent she is. He would start crying and screaming and get sent to his room for misbehaving. My mum (nanny) and my sister would go out and leave me in charge. I would then go to my nephew and give him a big ol' bear hug. I'm not the parent and he isn't my child but our secret was mutual. I wished he were my child and he wished I was his mum. We had to keep our wishes secret because if my sister knew that I was ruining her image by taking all of the mother-son love then hell would have broken loose. She was all about "self image" to the point she became a compulsive liar and she also has some other mental problems. His teachers noticed our bond when he entered primary school and his afterschool baby sitters knew about his "other mum". My nephew is 10 now. I don't know if he remembers any of this but the other day was my birthday and for the very first time, he tried to earn money through chores to by me a gift himself. It was a squirtle amiibo. TL;DR My baby nephew and I developed a secret mother/son bond that only teachers and babysitters picked up on and it had to be secret because his real mum is crazy. Jay Hegener • upvoted 4 items 3 months ago
Zookeepers-Share-Dark-Zoo-Secrets
Animals sometimes kill other animals and there really isn't much that can be done about it. I remember when a groundhog made it into a chimpanzee exhibit and the baby of the group found it. She caught it and played with it for a long time. Eventually, to keep it from running away, the baby beat it to death right beside the viewing windows. She then held it like a stuffed teddy bear for another half an hour, dragging it around with her when she went to forage. Mind you, this happened right in front of a group of school children. I was in the viewing area and a teacher/chaperone insisted that I "do something". Like, what? Ma'am, that's a chimpanzee; nobody's doing anything. The kids actually learned something on that trip to the zoo, though.Zookeepers-Share-Dark-Zoo-Secrets
Ok, as is tradition, not a full zookeeper buuut... When I was a teenager in the 90s, I did volunteer work at the Oakland zoo. There weren't many of us, so we got to choose where we helped out, so I chose to work with Bhakti, the 32ish year old Bengal Tiger. Nearly oldest living in captivity when he finally passed. I chose him because he was beautiful, and he always seemed lonely. He had pacing syndrome hardcore, so his entire paddock was green and lush except for the paths along the outer fence line and one or two diagonals he used to get into and out of his night cage. The keepers did their best with him, but had clearly written him off. He was grumpy, unsocial, hid from the public, swiped and hissed at keepers, and ignored all of the enrichment toys and food put out to keep him mobile. They had a few young Siberians in quarantine already waiting to be put on display, they just had to wait for him to pass and the stubborn old cat lived to spite them. He always started the morning by pacing his fence line, so I started pacing with him. No eye contact, no sounds, just walking back and forth for an hour or two. After a couple weeks, he started chuffing at me when I arrived, so I learned how to mimic it to say hi back. Another month, and he would actually break his pacing circuit to walk with me, jogging his ancient arthritic ass from wherever he was across the green sections to match me. Poor guy just needed a friend. I still get a bit misty eyed thinking about him. Just a lonely old cat who had to spend the last years of his life basically alone. Don't get me wrong though, the keepers really did do their best, but they couldn't spend all day with him like I could. They had many duties and creatures to care for and he had a really steep barrier to entry as a friend. As grumpy as he was, I still think he was good people. Jay Hegener • upvoted an item 7 months ago
Jay Hegener • upvoted 12 items 8 months ago
Childhood-Assumptions-Luxury-Things-Askreddit
Mom's are the best, she is a boss. My mom was single and I was the youngest of 3 children so I only ever got hand me downs. At Christmas time we couldn't even afford a tree so she made one out of lights on the wall and asked us each which 1 present we wanted the most. She somehow always made it happen. Years later she told me it was her lunch money she saved for weeks by not eating. She gave everything for us and always did her best. My mom lost her battle to colon cancer in July of 2017. She fought for 3 years and went through 7 rounds of chemotherapy. I was lucky enough to be there and take care of her during it all and was with her the moment her heart stopped. It warms my heart to feel so much love from you all and helps me to know that humanity will always prevail. Please stay safe and continue to be amazing human beings.This Panda hasn't followed anyone yet
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