Angelicat
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469 upvotes
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I have no special skills. I like donuts, Heathers, Hamilton, and musicals in general.
Angelicat • submitted a list addition 6 years ago
Angelicat • upvoted 34 items 6 years ago
50+ Introverts Reveal The Incredible Lengths They've Gone To Avoid People, And It's Hilarious
In my company almost everybody says hi! and good morning etc. everytime you pass someone down the hall, even though there are more than 300 people working here. I just smile and pass... But I say hiiii!!! good morning, good evening and all those small niceties to all cats and dogs I see on the street. And with a genuine smile this time.How-Introverts-Avoid-People
This was back in high school. I woke up at 7AM on the day we had poetry recitation for Literature. I used to have extreme stage fright and didn't know how to act accordingly in front of an audience. So I came up with a game plan. After getting showered and dressed for school, I purposefully threw myself down the flight of stairs, and pretended to get badly hurt, in order to avoid having to go to class. Ended up stayed in the hospital for a day. 3.5/10 would not recommend50+ Introverts Reveal The Incredible Lengths They've Gone To Avoid People, And It's Hilarious
In my company almost everybody says hi! and good morning etc. everytime you pass someone down the hall, even though there are more than 300 people working here. I just smile and pass... But I say hiiii!!! good morning, good evening and all those small niceties to all cats and dogs I see on the street. And with a genuine smile this time.How-Introverts-Avoid-People
This was back in high school. I woke up at 7AM on the day we had poetry recitation for Literature. I used to have extreme stage fright and didn't know how to act accordingly in front of an audience. So I came up with a game plan. After getting showered and dressed for school, I purposefully threw myself down the flight of stairs, and pretended to get badly hurt, in order to avoid having to go to class. Ended up stayed in the hospital for a day. 3.5/10 would not recommendHow-Introverts-Avoid-People
Learned german. Don't wanna talk to that random stranger who trying to sell you something? Say a few lines of german and they'll go away.How-Introverts-Avoid-People
My grandfather has died like 15 times to get me out of social engagements. What a champ.
Salt Water
I was a newly minted graduate with fresh and optimistic views on my life as a doctor. Second week in came this old lady and her very dysfunctional family. They would argue and complain about everything, from the food, the nurses they didnt like and every single medical decision we made. She was very very sick so her management was just as complicated. She had several children and they all didnt like one another and would not talk to one another. Each time we would have to explain a long update to every single one of them because they "are entitled to hear it from a doctor". One of these stories being sitting down and explaining why you don't give gatorade as an IV drip. They did not understand why we were giving "salt water" to her. Conversation with her son: "Look she likes gatorade, she is drinking it so why cant you give it to her through her drip?" We explain why. Son frowns. "But its isotonic." We explain again. "Yes but gatorade has more electrolytes." We explain again. "Salt water just seems to be too cheap. Cant you give her something else closer to gatorade? That has electrolytes?" Continues for two hours. Wash and repeat every day during her admission. Afterwards I told my fiance. He opened up a scene from Idiocracy on youtube and I just sat there with my mouth open for a while.Trust The App
When a woman in an emergency room told me she wasn't going into labor because her app said she want ready yet. I could see the top of her daughters head... But what the fuck do I know keep asking apple for advice.Say No To Drugs
I admitted a guy for pneumonia, which was odd because he was young and strapping, no other medical issues, x-ray didn't look quite right. The pieces just didn't add up and so I started questioning him more closely. Me: Do you use any drugs? Patient: Drugs! That's disgusting. I'm no fucking druggie! I've never touched drugs in my life. I move on to other questions and suddenly: Patient "Look, doc, I just want you to know I may have used cocaine once or twice years and years ago. I just snorted it though. That wouldn't cause this, right? Me: How long ago? Patient: Like ten years, maybe longer. Me: It shouldn't be affecting you after this long. Patient: More like five. Me: Years? Patient: Uh, like five months ago. This goes on forever, until he admits he just got off a massive crack binge the day before, where he spent the past three days in a hotel with some "loose women" smoking crack non-stop. He finishes with: "But I don't want you to think I'm one of those dirty druggies." No, I think you're the idiot who lied and was getting treated for pneumonia instead of getting the proper treatment for crack lung, which is what he had.Funny Doctor Patient Stories
I am not a doctor, but I do work at a doctor's office. So a person came in with conjunctivitis. They proceeded to ask questions on how it was transmitted. With the most serious look on their face, they asked if it was contagious and can be passed on by glare. While this is hilarious, take a minute to think, WHAT IF ANYTHING WAS CONTAGIOUS BY GLARE. That would be so d--- frightening...Birth Control
Me: is there any chance you could be pregnant? Patient: definitely not. Me: are you sexually active? Patient: yes. Me: what is your preferred method of birth control? Patient: nothing Me: smhWater Allergy
RN here. I see some crazy stuff, but one thing that stands out was the time I was admitting a guy to the hospital. I can't really remember what for but he was about 400lbs, diabetic, heart disease, you name it. Anyhow I'm at the computer going over some admission questions with him and his 10 family members who are crowded in the room with him. A few minutes in he starts complaining that he's thirsty. He needs something to drink RIGHT NOW. So I get on my phone and call the nurse assistant and as her to bring in some ice water. As soon as the words are out of my mouth the whole family screams "NOOOO! NO WATER! HES ALLERGIC TO WATER!" Well this is gonna be a problem. Turns out the guy had been drinking nothing but sprite and sweet tea for years because of his "water allergy". The next question the wife had was "where are we all supposed to sleep?" The whole family, 10 people, were planning to stay at he hospital with him. You can't make this shit up.
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Angelicat • upvoted 20 items 6 years ago
50+ Introverts Reveal The Incredible Lengths They've Gone To Avoid People, And It's Hilarious
In my company almost everybody says hi! and good morning etc. everytime you pass someone down the hall, even though there are more than 300 people working here. I just smile and pass... But I say hiiii!!! good morning, good evening and all those small niceties to all cats and dogs I see on the street. And with a genuine smile this time.How-Introverts-Avoid-People
Learned german. Don't wanna talk to that random stranger who trying to sell you something? Say a few lines of german and they'll go away.How-Introverts-Avoid-People
This was back in high school. I woke up at 7AM on the day we had poetry recitation for Literature. I used to have extreme stage fright and didn't know how to act accordingly in front of an audience. So I came up with a game plan. After getting showered and dressed for school, I purposefully threw myself down the flight of stairs, and pretended to get badly hurt, in order to avoid having to go to class. Ended up stayed in the hospital for a day. 3.5/10 would not recommendHow-Introverts-Avoid-People
My grandfather has died like 15 times to get me out of social engagements. What a champ.Hold In Your Coughs
Getting a physical around 11-13 and the doctor who was probably around 75 at the time asks me to strip down to my boxers for the whole awkward ball grab thing. Obviously at that age and dealing with all that shit you feel weird so when the doctor only said "cough" I mustered up a big one and was prepared to fire when he suddenly interrupts me with these words of wisdom "Son, when a man has your balls in his hand you don't cough in his face."Funny Doctor Patient Stories
My fiance is an X-ray tech. He gets weird cases all the time. He had to do a head CT on someone who came into the ER because she took two marijuana tablets and wondered why her head was foggy and she felt slow moving... Face palm.Funny Doctor Patient Stories
My mom's an ER nurse and she said once some crazy lady came in and complained hat she had the whooping cough. And whenever she coughed she followed it with a loud "woooOOOP!"Funny Doctor Patient Stories
I am not a doctor, but I do work at a doctor's office. So a person came in with conjunctivitis. They proceeded to ask questions on how it was transmitted. With the most serious look on their face, they asked if it was contagious and can be passed on by glare. While this is hilarious, take a minute to think, WHAT IF ANYTHING WAS CONTAGIOUS BY GLARE. That would be so d--- frightening...Funny Doctor Patient Stories
I once had the daughter of one of my patients march up to the nursing station, slam the vitals chart down on the desk and yell at me "How dare you say my mother stinks" I'm utterly puzzled by this as no-one had said anything of the sort and ask the daughter to explain what she meant, she grabs the chart, points to the row of "BO's" recorded on it and shouts "Here you even had the nerve to write it down" I explained that "BO" meant Bowels Open not body odour before escaping to the staff room to laugh my head off.Pepperoni
Heard this story from a nurse friend. Some guy was dancing in skin tight leather pants at the opening of a new nightclub in a nearby small city. It was hot inside with the huge crowd. The guy fainted from the heat and was taken to the ER, where his pants were cut off. This revealed that the guy had a length of pepperoni in his crotch, taped to his thigh. The ER staff got the giggles and left his room to laugh in the hallway. At some point one of them said something like, "We've got to get back in there and deal with an unconscious patient." At this point they returned to professional duties.This Panda hasn't followed anyone yet
