Kaimanawa
Community Member
1 posts
60 comments
1.2K upvotes
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Hi, I am Kai. I love the Kaimanawa ponys of NZ
Kaimanawa • upvoted 31 items 6 years ago
Petty Revenge Stories
I am driving to work a few months ago and getting close, I have two turns remaining until I turn into the building. It is just a few blocks away. All side streets, no highways involved. This guy behind me is in a black bmw, and he is on my ass the whole time. I see him checking his phone, then making angry faces at me and getting closer and closer. I speed up a bit, thinking it might calm him down. 5 over, nope. Anyway, I make the first turn, and am now on the street where my building is, maybe 600 yards up ahead. The asshole is still behind me, driving inches from behind me and obviously pissed that I am still going the speed limit, (maybe 35 on this street). So I speed up a bit and see he does the same. I drive an eight year old Toyota truck, not one of the big huge ones, but not one of the small ones. I do have all terrain tires, and I have certainly driven through pastures, over rocks, popped a curb or 10 in my time. My suspension is in good shape and have no problem treating my decade old truck like a truck. Well as I get closer to my building there is a large speed bump in the street, effectively to get people to slow down as they approach the parking garage entrances. I look back and see asshole still riding my bumper. I remember thinking to myself I need to slow down for this speed bump, and looking back and thinking, if I hit my brakes, this guy is going to hit me.. The plan takes shape in my mind and I speed up.. I am doing about 45 when I hit that speed bump, and yeehaw.. I did a bit of a jump and land, never once touching my brakes. Didn't even tap them. I gave him zero warning for what was about to happen. I am watching my rear-view window intensely during this because I wanted to see his reaction. He was cradling his cell phone between his ear and shoulder when he hit. His hood bucked up behind me, then slams to the ground. I see him go flying out of his seat straight up. He slams his head on the roof of his bmw and his head rolls sideways from impact. Then he slams back into his seat violently. He has a total "wtf was that" look on his face as he grabs the wheel with both hands to recover. ... and yes, he slowed right the f*ck down after that.Petty Revenge Stories
(I’m a manager. I am ringing up a woman I have sold things to before. We are making small talk as I ring her up. Note: I’m a lesbian.) Customer: “I can’t believe the president came out in support for gay marriage!” Me: “I know; kind of unbelievable!” Customer: “That f** lover is going to burn in hell for that!” Me: *biting my tongue* “Okay.” (I finish ringing her up and hand the customer her bags.) Customer: “They should round up all the gays and put them down.” Me: “That would be bad for me, seeing as I am a lesbian.” (The woman turns pale and walks out without saying a word. A few hours later, I get a call from the manager of another one of our stores. On the line, I can hear the same customer I previously sold items to ranting.) Manager: *also a woman* “So, this woman is here wanting to exchange a bunch of stuff from your store. When I asked her what was wrong with the items, she said you tainted them; I have no idea what she is talking about. Could you maybe clear this up for me?” Me: “Well, I bet it is because she found out I was gay.” Manager: “I see.” *starts talking in sultry voice* “Well, I’ll see you tonight for our date. You should put on that that black lace bra and panty set I got you for your birthday! I love you!” *hangs up* I am very confused, seeing as I have never dated that manager, nor did she ever get me underwear, and as far as I know, she is not gay. Fast forward a few days later to the manager weekly conference call: apparently, the customer left the other store after thinking the other manager was also gay. That manager then called every other store in the area and told everyone about the customer. Over the next few days, the customer went to every store in a 20 mile radius trying to exchange the ‘tainted goods’. Everyone she talked to pretended to be gay when working with her and she left every time. To my knowledge, she never got her exchange.Petty Revenge Stories
So I live next door to a couple (a VERY conservative couple) and their twin boys. The boys can’t be more than 8, and like most kids, they like to play in the back yard. Which is totally fine, doesn’t bother me at all. They’re kids and like to run around. What bothers me though is that they love to throw their toys over into my yard. Alot of toys. Action figures, balls, frisbees, rackets, etc. Them throwing them over don’t even really bother me that much. What bothers me is that the parents keep demanding that we have to throw them back. They don’t ask, they don’t knock on the door and apologize, they just yell over there fence when they know that we are outside and TELL us to give it back. And that bothers me. They also seem to encourage their kids to throw it over to our yard. So after Christmas I was at the store and saw that they had a ton of Barbie’s, nail polish, Bratz doll frisbees, and balls on the clearance. I bought 5 of everything I could find that I knew my neighbors would hate seeing their sons play with. Every time an action figure gets thrown over to my yard, I will throw a barbie back with it. Every time a ball gets thrown, a Bratz ball will be returned. I already threw a couple nail polishes over and the twins went crazy. They loved it. They’ve had pink, purple, and green nails all week. It’s been 2 days and not a single action figure has crossed my fence. More importantly, not a single rude demand from the parents to return them. The kids are having fun, and I have pretty revenge.
Parenting, Social Issues
Mother Has Brilliant Response To Woman In Walmart Who Called Her 2-Year-Old Son 'Repulsive'
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Petty Revenge
Obligatory "not me, but": In Texas, there is a law that allows the US to take certain possessions to satisfy a debt owed, such as from a lawsuit. So this defendant had been committing Medicare fraud, got caught, has to pay back the money. He's also a total prick during the lawsuit -- obstructionist, rude, etc. When the US finally has its judgment and he's pleading poverty, the US Attorney that ran the suit basically ends up walking through the "impoverished" guy's multi-million dollar house to hand pick what is going to be seized. He takes the big ticket items that he's allowed, but it's not going to be enough -- so then he just starts taking little shit to piss the guy off. Book half-read on the nightstand? Gone. Can't take the garage -- but you can take the garage door-opener, so...gone. I don't know what else he took but I think the idea is brilliant.Petty Revenge
Work related- My co-worker was always complaining and always lazy with his work, yet he got recognition for the simplest thing he would actually do. He also took credit for a full days work that was pretty much all me. I always got ignored. So one day, I came in early and I unplugged his Ethernet jack just barley to the point it looked like it was still plugged into his computer. For 4 hours he couldn't do any work. Meanwhile, I got my work done, and he couldn't take any credit for it since everyone knew he didn't have Internet access. Half way through the day, he left on break, I plugged it back in and bam, just like this it was working. By then, he couldn't claim my work, and I begun to get noticed more.Petty Revenge Stories
I am driving to work a few months ago and getting close, I have two turns remaining until I turn into the building. It is just a few blocks away. All side streets, no highways involved. This guy behind me is in a black bmw, and he is on my ass the whole time. I see him checking his phone, then making angry faces at me and getting closer and closer. I speed up a bit, thinking it might calm him down. 5 over, nope. Anyway, I make the first turn, and am now on the street where my building is, maybe 600 yards up ahead. The asshole is still behind me, driving inches from behind me and obviously pissed that I am still going the speed limit, (maybe 35 on this street). So I speed up a bit and see he does the same. I drive an eight year old Toyota truck, not one of the big huge ones, but not one of the small ones. I do have all terrain tires, and I have certainly driven through pastures, over rocks, popped a curb or 10 in my time. My suspension is in good shape and have no problem treating my decade old truck like a truck. Well as I get closer to my building there is a large speed bump in the street, effectively to get people to slow down as they approach the parking garage entrances. I look back and see asshole still riding my bumper. I remember thinking to myself I need to slow down for this speed bump, and looking back and thinking, if I hit my brakes, this guy is going to hit me.. The plan takes shape in my mind and I speed up.. I am doing about 45 when I hit that speed bump, and yeehaw.. I did a bit of a jump and land, never once touching my brakes. Didn't even tap them. I gave him zero warning for what was about to happen. I am watching my rear-view window intensely during this because I wanted to see his reaction. He was cradling his cell phone between his ear and shoulder when he hit. His hood bucked up behind me, then slams to the ground. I see him go flying out of his seat straight up. He slams his head on the roof of his bmw and his head rolls sideways from impact. Then he slams back into his seat violently. He has a total "wtf was that" look on his face as he grabs the wheel with both hands to recover. ... and yes, he slowed right the f*ck down after that.Petty Revenge
I like to end my relationships amicably. I am friends with a few of my exes. This one, however, has been a weapons grade douchebag to me for a couple of years and then threw me and my children out suddenly with nothing but the clothes on my our backs and made a few choice death threats to me. Don't worry, the police are involved. Well, a few hours earlier I went with a police escort to gather the rest of mine and my children's belongings. He was sitting on the couch with his new gf, both drunk af. The officer stayed with them. I went to what used to be our bedroom, packed my belongings quickly, packed my children's things, then released 100 crickets under his bed, in his closet, in his dressers, and in what used to be the childrens' bedroom. I made sure there were more male crickets than female, so they'll be noisy as all hell while attempting to find a mate, and these little buggers will eat anything, wood, clothing, and they're very good at hiding during the day.Petty Revenge
Once, in first grade, I took off my shoe because I had a rock in it. Fo no reason other than this kid was a huge asshole, the class jerk stole it and took of running. I chase after him and he eventually throws my shoe down a hill into a field of tall grass and just looks at me with a huge shiteating grin. In a badass stonecold firstgrade timbre I say: "Go find it" and shove him down the hill into the grass after it. He starts crying and we run to the teacher. After explaining what happened she made him go into the field and find my shoe. He crawled through the grass for about an hour before it finaly turned up.Petty Revenge Stories
So I live next door to a couple (a VERY conservative couple) and their twin boys. The boys can’t be more than 8, and like most kids, they like to play in the back yard. Which is totally fine, doesn’t bother me at all. They’re kids and like to run around. What bothers me though is that they love to throw their toys over into my yard. Alot of toys. Action figures, balls, frisbees, rackets, etc. Them throwing them over don’t even really bother me that much. What bothers me is that the parents keep demanding that we have to throw them back. They don’t ask, they don’t knock on the door and apologize, they just yell over there fence when they know that we are outside and TELL us to give it back. And that bothers me. They also seem to encourage their kids to throw it over to our yard. So after Christmas I was at the store and saw that they had a ton of Barbie’s, nail polish, Bratz doll frisbees, and balls on the clearance. I bought 5 of everything I could find that I knew my neighbors would hate seeing their sons play with. Every time an action figure gets thrown over to my yard, I will throw a barbie back with it. Every time a ball gets thrown, a Bratz ball will be returned. I already threw a couple nail polishes over and the twins went crazy. They loved it. They’ve had pink, purple, and green nails all week. It’s been 2 days and not a single action figure has crossed my fence. More importantly, not a single rude demand from the parents to return them. The kids are having fun, and I have pretty revenge.Petty Revenge
I make my husband a sandwich everyday for work. Once, I jokingly kissed it to show him that I made it “with love.” But then for some reason it stuck, and that just became the habit. Make sandwich, give it a little smooch, put into baggie. Except when I’m mad at him. Then that sandwich isn’t made with love. It gets no kiss. Yeah, enjoy that sandwich, jerkface. I hope it tastes like despair.Petty Revenge Stories
(I’m a manager. I am ringing up a woman I have sold things to before. We are making small talk as I ring her up. Note: I’m a lesbian.) Customer: “I can’t believe the president came out in support for gay marriage!” Me: “I know; kind of unbelievable!” Customer: “That f** lover is going to burn in hell for that!” Me: *biting my tongue* “Okay.” (I finish ringing her up and hand the customer her bags.) Customer: “They should round up all the gays and put them down.” Me: “That would be bad for me, seeing as I am a lesbian.” (The woman turns pale and walks out without saying a word. A few hours later, I get a call from the manager of another one of our stores. On the line, I can hear the same customer I previously sold items to ranting.) Manager: *also a woman* “So, this woman is here wanting to exchange a bunch of stuff from your store. When I asked her what was wrong with the items, she said you tainted them; I have no idea what she is talking about. Could you maybe clear this up for me?” Me: “Well, I bet it is because she found out I was gay.” Manager: “I see.” *starts talking in sultry voice* “Well, I’ll see you tonight for our date. You should put on that that black lace bra and panty set I got you for your birthday! I love you!” *hangs up* I am very confused, seeing as I have never dated that manager, nor did she ever get me underwear, and as far as I know, she is not gay. Fast forward a few days later to the manager weekly conference call: apparently, the customer left the other store after thinking the other manager was also gay. That manager then called every other store in the area and told everyone about the customer. Over the next few days, the customer went to every store in a 20 mile radius trying to exchange the ‘tainted goods’. Everyone she talked to pretended to be gay when working with her and she left every time. To my knowledge, she never got her exchange.Petty Revenge
This happened a while back, study hall in 8th grade actually. I always brought two small sandwiches to school so I could have one at lunch and one in study hall since our teacher let us eat in that class. One day as I was about to eat my Sandwich, I get up to use the bathroom. As I walk back in the classroom, I see the kid in front of me eating my sandwich. I was pretty annoyed but nothing serious at this point, so I confront him politely and he denies it completely. I left my sandwich on my desk the next day just to make sure it was him, and what do you know, it is. So on the third day, I hatched a plan. I put habanero cheese on my sandwich, and then doused it all in ghost pepper sauce. That shit was everywhere, but it luckily didn't smell spicy. I get to study hall and my plan works flawlessly. I leave my trap sandwich on my desk and get up to use the restroom. This time I take as long as I can, and end up wandering the halls of the school. I did this because my study hall teacher was anal about the hall pass, and only one guy was allowed to leave the class at a time, even for water. After about ten minutes I come back into the class to be greeted by the sandwich thief crying hysterically with a bright red face waiting for the hall pass. He was in the bathroom for the rest of the day.This Panda hasn't followed anyone yet
