Daniel B
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Daniel B • upvoted 5 items 4 years ago
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Funny
This 12-Year-Old's Girlfriend Told Him That He Made Her Pregnant, And He Had The Best Response Ever
My Local Grocery Store Is Selling Unattractive Produce At Reduced Prices That Would Normally Be Tossed Out!
At This Airport, They Have A Machine That Will Print Off Free Short Stories For You To Read While You Wait!
Obvious-Girl-Hints-Unnoticed
In high school I walked into a classroom and a very attractive girl that was an acquaintance at most came up to me and said "djw, did you know that Rodrigo and I broke up?" I said, "oh, sorry to hear that," and went on my way. Then I spent the rest of the day and night thinking about that. Why the hell would SHE tell me that? Why they hell would she tell ME that? Why was she smiling when she told me that? The next time I saw her, I asked her what she was doing that weekend and she said, "nothing, do you want to go to a movie?" And that was the moment that I realized what was happening. And I wound up getting a date out of it. And eventually, a family.Petty Revenge
I was at a Craft Store in my town, and it wasn’t too busy, but only one register was open. The cashier, a teen aged girl, I could tell was working as best as she could. The process was a tad slower however, because she had a stutter, and a bit of a lisp. As she worked through the line, asking the usual questions probably mandated by the big wigs (I’ve worked in retail, it’s a thing), the man behind me began to huff and puff. He muttered something about having places to go, he was in a hurry, etc. I ignored him, until I heard him start to mock her to his kids. W-w-would you l-like y-y-y-y-y-y-your reSCHKeet? The kids began to laugh. It really made my blood boil. Especially since I could tell the cashier heard his mockery. That really made my blood boil. When a person doesn’t respect retail employees as people, it’s the best way to tell whether a person is an asshat or not. So, when it was my turn at the register, she asked me in a small voice “Are you a member o-o-of the rew-w-rewards club?” And I looked smugly at the guy behind me, and back at her. Me: The rewards club? Oooo that sounds great! Please explain it to me? She seemed surprised at first, but then looked at the guy behind me, and then it clicked. I have never given my information so slowly in my life. Never had I asked as many questions as I did. She smiled and answered my inquiries, while the guy behind me was seething. Him: Can you hurry up, please? Me: And miss out on these great rewards? As if! I only held him up for about 5 minutes… but wooo child, it felt so good.Bowl Of Chicken And Fries, With A Straw To Your Soda Through The Center. One Hand Holds All The Things, So You Can Eat With The Other
Animals
This Woman's Ex Still Sends Their A Dog Birthday Present Every Year, And The Internet Wants Them Back Together
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