Dorothy • upvoted 39 items 3 years ago
Most-Savage-Comebacks-Ever-HeardHad a really witty teacher for my game design class, the Vice Principal hated him for whatever reason. One day we were all studiously working with our headphones on programming away while our teacher was upfront reading a book, very available and approachable if we had any questions. Then the VP walks in the room: VP: "Mr. Teacher, it has come to my attention that you have absolutely no control over this class! This is unacceptable." Teacher gives him a fairly nonchalant stare, cooly and calmly places his book down, and claps his hands loudly three times (which was his very effective way of getting our attention while listening to music). Mind you, the following occurred without us knowing why the VP was there or what he had said. Teacher: "Ok class listen up, I have an exercise for you. This'll only take a few moments. First and foremost, everybody stand up." We all stood up in near unison very quickly. Teacher: "Good, now I want all of you to leave the room and stand outside in the hallway and no matter what this guy says," as he points his finger at VP, "do not come back in the room until I say so. Ok, go!" We all exit the room, a little intrigued by what was going on. Teacher: "Ok VP, bring them back in the classroom" We didn't budge To this day, that is one of my favorite stories to tell.
This Soldier Refused To Leave Sick Kitten Behind In Afghanistan, So She Waited Months For The Cat To Be Ready To Fly To The States, And Paid $2,000 In Shipping Costs
Bird Builds Her Nest On Police Car, The Cops Attach An Umbrella To The Windshield To Keep Her Safe From The Elements And Tape Off The Parking Spot So Nobody Bothers Her
Love-Stories-Makes-Me-ThinkToday, my 88-year-old grandmother and her 17 year old cat are both blind. My grandmother’s guide dog leads my grandmother around the house, which is normal. But lately, he’s been guiding her cat around the house too. When her cat meows, he walks up and rubs against her, and then she follows directly behind him to her food, to the litter box, to the other end of the house for a nap, etc.
Love-Stories-Makes-Me-ThinkToday is our 10th anniversary, but since my husband and I are both recently unemployed we agreed not to get each other any gifts. When I woke up this morning, my husband was already up. I walked downstairs to find beautiful wild flowers brilliantly arranged all over the house. There must be 400 flowers total and he didn’t spend a dime.
Love-Stories-Makes-Me-ThinkToday, my dad is the best dad I could ask for. He’s a loving husband to my mom (always making her laugh), he’s been to every one of my soccer games since I was 5 (I’m 17 now), and he provides for our family as a construction foreman. This morning when I was searching through my dad’s toolbox for a pliers, I found a dirty folded up paper at the bottom. It was an old journal entry in my dad’s handwriting dated exactly one month before the day I was born. It reads, “I am eighteen years old, an alcoholic who is failing out of college, a past cutter, and a child abuse victim with a criminal record of auto theft. And next month, ‘teen father’ will be added to the list. But I swear I will make things right for my little girl. I will be the dad I never had.” And I don’t know how he did it, but he did it.
Love-Stories-Makes-Me-ThinkToday, I walked up to the door of my office (I’m a florist) at 7AM to find a uniformed Army soldier standing out front waiting. He was on his way to the airport to go to Afghanistan for a year. He said, “I usually bring home a bouquet of flowers for my wife every Friday and I don’t want to let her down when I’m away.” He then placed an order for 52 Friday afternoon deliveries of flowers to his wife’s office and asked me to schedule one for each week until he returns. I gave him a 50% discount.
darkest-things-kids-saidWhen our dog died, without us yet having properly attempted to explain death, our then two year old said, "All her thoughts left her body".
darkest-things-kids-saidOn the playground my daughter points to the swing next to her. "Mommy, come push my ghost friend Flossie".......Flossie was my Great Grandmother who passed before I was born.
darkest-things-kids-saidWhen my youngest daughter was about 2-3 we were just talking and she said "I died all by myself" I asked her why she was talking about. She said "not when you was my mommy, when I lived with my old mommy. She had brown skin and so did I. The spider bit me and I died all by myself!" She is deathly afraid of spiders still and she is almost 13!!
darkest-things-kids-saidMy neighbor was babysitting my daughter one day while I was at work. They were sitting in the dining room, playing with Littlest Pet Shop toys. My daughter was very into the game and asked "do you know what it feels like to die?" And my neighbor said "uh, no." My daughter asked "do you want to?" And my neighbor said "uh, no!" My daughter creepily looked at her and said "then leave. me. alone!"
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