Andrew Burke
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Andrew Burke • commented on 3 posts 2 days ago
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Andrew Burke • upvoted 10 items 6 days ago
brand_new_toy reply
Not my story but a friend's and I think it's hillarious: The family was invited to dinner at their friends' house who also had a daughter around the same age. They had a lovely evening and a few glasses of wine. On their way home - oh s**t - police - stop&search. Where we are from the police always asks if you have had something to drink and the law is very strict about drinking&driving. It's really easy to loose your license with a glass of wine. The officer had picked them for a random breath test...which the dad (who was driving) failed. He tried to defend himself: "I didn't drink, Sir. There must be something wrong with the machine. Try it on my daughter if you don't believe me." My friend told me that his dad has no idea why the hell he made that suggestion. The 5-year-old daughter was sleeping in the backseat, they gently woke her and she actually took a breath test. And BOOM, the result was positive. The officer was now convinced that his machine wasn't working properly, appologized to the family and let them drive off. Mum & dad were completely puzzled but they just thought they had had a lot of luck that night. Back at home the friends with whom they had spent the evening called and told them: "Guess what, I just found a half emptied bottle of egg liqueur in my daughter's room. Seems like the girls had a little party of their own." So, the kid actually was drunk while taking the breath test. Tl;dr 5-year-old saved her dad's driving license by getting wasted.
anon reply
I overheard my dad saying he was secretly proud of something I did in school. It's school photo day and what happened is we go in small groups and have our picture taken then the wizard photographers put it all together, I got myself in two of the groups and ended up in the final photo twice.brand_new_toy reply
Not my story but a friend's and I think it's hillarious: The family was invited to dinner at their friends' house who also had a daughter around the same age. They had a lovely evening and a few glasses of wine. On their way home - oh s**t - police - stop&search. Where we are from the police always asks if you have had something to drink and the law is very strict about drinking&driving. It's really easy to loose your license with a glass of wine. The officer had picked them for a random breath test...which the dad (who was driving) failed. He tried to defend himself: "I didn't drink, Sir. There must be something wrong with the machine. Try it on my daughter if you don't believe me." My friend told me that his dad has no idea why the hell he made that suggestion. The 5-year-old daughter was sleeping in the backseat, they gently woke her and she actually took a breath test. And BOOM, the result was positive. The officer was now convinced that his machine wasn't working properly, appologized to the family and let them drive off. Mum & dad were completely puzzled but they just thought they had had a lot of luck that night. Back at home the friends with whom they had spent the evening called and told them: "Guess what, I just found a half emptied bottle of egg liqueur in my daughter's room. Seems like the girls had a little party of their own." So, the kid actually was drunk while taking the breath test. Tl;dr 5-year-old saved her dad's driving license by getting wasted.anon reply
I overheard my dad saying he was secretly proud of something I did in school. It's school photo day and what happened is we go in small groups and have our picture taken then the wizard photographers put it all together, I got myself in two of the groups and ended up in the final photo twice.
TallyWhackerLacker reply
My 16 year old son and his buddies decided to call their dodgeball team "Snipe" so that they could "accidentally" stand in front of the whole school with their lettered t-shirts spelling out "Penis." Such a proud mom, I was!
nightshift_syndicate reply
I used to be a mystery shopper when there was no work. Pays s**t and I'm really not keen into the idea of making some poor soul stuck in retail life more miserable... so I just gave the best evaluations each time.
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Andrew Burke • commented on 5 posts 6 days ago
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Andrew Burke • commented on 3 posts 2 days ago
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brand_new_toy reply
Not my story but a friend's and I think it's hillarious: The family was invited to dinner at their friends' house who also had a daughter around the same age. They had a lovely evening and a few glasses of wine. On their way home - oh s**t - police - stop&search. Where we are from the police always asks if you have had something to drink and the law is very strict about drinking&driving. It's really easy to loose your license with a glass of wine. The officer had picked them for a random breath test...which the dad (who was driving) failed. He tried to defend himself: "I didn't drink, Sir. There must be something wrong with the machine. Try it on my daughter if you don't believe me." My friend told me that his dad has no idea why the hell he made that suggestion. The 5-year-old daughter was sleeping in the backseat, they gently woke her and she actually took a breath test. And BOOM, the result was positive. The officer was now convinced that his machine wasn't working properly, appologized to the family and let them drive off. Mum & dad were completely puzzled but they just thought they had had a lot of luck that night. Back at home the friends with whom they had spent the evening called and told them: "Guess what, I just found a half emptied bottle of egg liqueur in my daughter's room. Seems like the girls had a little party of their own." So, the kid actually was drunk while taking the breath test. Tl;dr 5-year-old saved her dad's driving license by getting wasted.anon reply
I overheard my dad saying he was secretly proud of something I did in school. It's school photo day and what happened is we go in small groups and have our picture taken then the wizard photographers put it all together, I got myself in two of the groups and ended up in the final photo twice. Andrew Burke • upvoted 2 items 4 days ago
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