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Woman Wants Childfree Sister To Babysit Her Kids, Asks Her To Stop Fostering Dogs
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Dogs, Parenting2 months ago

Woman Wants Childfree Sister To Babysit Her Kids, Asks Her To Stop Fostering Dogs

Our relatives are there to support us when we need it, however, we can’t expect them to drastically change their lifestyles just to always adapt to what we want. At some point, we’re responsible for how we live our lives and we have to make changes if we’re constantly exhausted and stressed out. However, life usually isn’t as clear-cut as that.

Redditor u/Throw_away_no374828 shared a very open and honest story on the AITA subreddit about how she had asked her sister to stop fostering dogs so that she could help take care of her 4 children for free. While that sounds very egoistic on the surface level, the redditor showed that she was very self-aware and felt guilty that this might have been wrong of her. And that’s why she turned to the AITA community for a verdict on whether or not she was acting like a jerk.

You’ll find the full story, as well as how the internet reacted, below. Also, read on for Bored Panda’s interview with the UK’s leading charity, the PDSA, about the type of care and attention that dogs need to be happy and healthy. We’d love to hear what you think of the entire family situation in the comments and who was wrong, dear Pandas.

An exhausted mom who has 4 kids relies on her sister to help her with babysitting

Image credits: Anh Nguyen (not an actual photo)

The mom asked the internet if she was wrong for asking her sister to give up on a cause that she cares about deeply

Image credits: Marisa Howenstine (not an actual photo)

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not an actual photo)

The author of the post was very grateful for all the honesty. She had some additional sensitive info to share about her family

The redditor begged her sister to not foster a new dog in the future so that she could help take care of her kids, as she’s done in the past. The mom pointed out that she’s doing the best that she can, but that she can really use the support, as the house is in chaos and she is exhausted. She even noted that her sister’s babysitting helps her keep her sanity.

Meanwhile, the sister couldn’t have the kids over so that the dog she was fostering wouldn’t get stressed out. While sympathetic, the sister also didn’t promise that she’d give up fostering doggos in need. After all, our animal companions also deserve our love and care. Overall, the majority of redditors thought that the mom was in the wrong.

Vet Nurse Nina Downing from the PDSA, the UK’s leading vet charity, told Bored Panda about how owners can keep dogs happy and healthy. “Dogs that are well bonded to their people are at their happiest when their owners are around, their 5 welfare needs are met and they have lots to keep them physically and mentally stimulated while being able to rest when it suits them,” she said.

Our pets’ 5 welfare needs are health (protection from pain, injury, suffering, and disease), behavior (being able to behave naturally for the animal’s species), companionship (being housed with or away from other animals, depending on the species’ needs), diet (a suitable diet that helps prevent obesity or malnourishment), and environment (a suitable one with a comfortable place to rest, hide, exercise, and explore).
According to PDSA Vet Nurse Nina, ideally, owners should not leave their dogs alone for long stretches of time. They need attention, they need care.

“Dogs shouldn’t be left home alone for longer than 4 hours at a time as they will need to go to the toilet, get bored of waiting and they may even feel lonely,” she noted. What’s more, dogs who are left alone can then start destroying the home.

“When dogs are left to their own devices they can start to look around for things to do and this is when they may develop unwelcome habits such as knocking over bins, chewing, or generally being destructive,” she told us.

“You might even find that your neighbors report unwelcome barking—your dog could be looking out of the window for something to do and barking at anyone that goes past.”

What’s more, dogs need regular walks throughout the day and access to some toys to play with in between going for walkies. “If you don’t have time for this, then hire a dog walker or ask a friend or neighbor to pop around to walk your dog and have some playtime with them,” the vet nurse said.

A while back, parenting blogger Samantha Scroggin, the founder of ‘Walking Outside in Slippers,’ went into detail about boundaries between family members and asking them for help with babysitting.

“I think when establishing boundaries with family members, being clear and using good communication are the best routes. You wouldn’t want a family member to misinterpret your actions for rudeness or lack of appreciation for their help with childcare,” she told Bored Panda during a previous interview

“I would hope that close family members can communicate freely about expectations for child care, but I know that personalities differ and some would rather take on an extra burden and avoid conflict,” the blogger said.

“Some families are very close, and the aunts and uncles and grandparents are practically other parents to the kids. Others are more distant. Once again, I think good communication is important to set the ground rules and ensure everyone is comfortable with the babysitting expectations,” Samantha said. She also opened up about how her family approaches the whole babysitting question.

“My husband and kids and I live several hours away from both sets of grandparents, and other family members. Because of this distance, we are rarely if ever asked to babysit,” she told us.

“However when we visit family, the grandparents often take our kids so we can go on a date for dinner, and maybe even a short weekend away alone. I think the distance makes the grandparents more eager to spend what time with our kids they can. My husband and I try not to abuse this privilege and expect too much, but it is such a relief to have occasional help with feeding and caring for the kids.”

Most people thought that the mom was wrong, and here’s what they had to say. However, some folks might have been a bit too harsh

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Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
2 months ago

I've struggled with depression since I was a teenager and, yes, after my son was born. Once you become a parent, you simply do things you think you can't, because you MUST. That includes taking care of your child even though everything inside you wants to curl up in a corner and shut out the world. If the dad is getting therapy and taking meds, there is no reason he can't be present to help with the kids. I'm not saying it will be easy, but it's one of those things you have to *make* yourself do when you're a parent. Children come first. And they are YOUR responsibility, no one else's. It's hard, I've been there. OP definitely seems like she's taking her sister for granted.

Vanja Vidovic
Community Member
2 months ago

It looks like he doesn't have any problems with making new babies.

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UpupaEpops
Community Member
2 months ago

"Above all, my kids will always come before a dog and that's the reason I was willing to request it." To you and your husband, lady. To you and your husband. Your sister is child-free, presumably by choice, precisely because she doesn't want to have children. So stop forcing your sprongs onto her.

CMDR unematti
Community Member
2 months ago

This was exactly my thought. Maybe what she needs is teaching her kids to get their act together. I was depressed for a long time, so i understand how the husband feels like too. Help him out of it and train the kids. Maybe people won't like the word "train" in relation to kids, but that's what you do when someone doesn't act correctly. Screaming, running around, not cleaning after yourself, all that should be fixed by training (or teaching if they're old enough)

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CatWoman312
Community Member
2 months ago

I think the first response is the best. No one told her to have 4 kids and it’s not the sister’s responsibility to take care of them if she doesn’t want to. This is a case of “you made your bed, now lay in it.” Don’t have kids if you can’t afford to take care of them. That’s why I only have one.

Mir Adwari
Community Member
2 months ago

Plus, her sister is getting dogs that can't be around children... that might be a very deliberate choice!

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Tamra Stiffler
Community Member
2 months ago

I've struggled with depression since I was a teenager and, yes, after my son was born. Once you become a parent, you simply do things you think you can't, because you MUST. That includes taking care of your child even though everything inside you wants to curl up in a corner and shut out the world. If the dad is getting therapy and taking meds, there is no reason he can't be present to help with the kids. I'm not saying it will be easy, but it's one of those things you have to *make* yourself do when you're a parent. Children come first. And they are YOUR responsibility, no one else's. It's hard, I've been there. OP definitely seems like she's taking her sister for granted.

Vanja Vidovic
Community Member
2 months ago

It looks like he doesn't have any problems with making new babies.

Load More Replies...
UpupaEpops
Community Member
2 months ago

"Above all, my kids will always come before a dog and that's the reason I was willing to request it." To you and your husband, lady. To you and your husband. Your sister is child-free, presumably by choice, precisely because she doesn't want to have children. So stop forcing your sprongs onto her.

CMDR unematti
Community Member
2 months ago

This was exactly my thought. Maybe what she needs is teaching her kids to get their act together. I was depressed for a long time, so i understand how the husband feels like too. Help him out of it and train the kids. Maybe people won't like the word "train" in relation to kids, but that's what you do when someone doesn't act correctly. Screaming, running around, not cleaning after yourself, all that should be fixed by training (or teaching if they're old enough)

Load More Replies...
CatWoman312
Community Member
2 months ago

I think the first response is the best. No one told her to have 4 kids and it’s not the sister’s responsibility to take care of them if she doesn’t want to. This is a case of “you made your bed, now lay in it.” Don’t have kids if you can’t afford to take care of them. That’s why I only have one.

Mir Adwari
Community Member
2 months ago

Plus, her sister is getting dogs that can't be around children... that might be a very deliberate choice!

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