Your taste in humor says a lot about you. For instance, by knowing what kind of jokes you like, one can surely guess your favorite color, your most beloved potato dish, and with which hand do you pick your nose. Humor is a telltale method about your innermost secrets, whether you like to admit it or not. However, there's always an enigma lurking in the shadows in the world of things in plain sight. In this case, said enigma is the people who do not like any of the conventional types of jokes. They are the ones who only enjoy and live for a thing known as anti-joke. If you’re one of these people who find themselves amused by jokes that are so bad they are good, we have no chance of guessing neither your fav color - it might be #FF573, but it also very well might be the dreadful #929528… - nor your favorite potato dish. It could be tater tots, but you might also eat them raw. With peel. Unwashed. Such is the nature of the lovers of anti-jokes, the walking mysteries, the secret codes among us.
Anyway, even if your taste in humor is a bit more versatile, you might also find these weird jokes thoroughly amusing. We’ve penned more than a hundred of them in our list, so if some might seem too, ehm, much for you, scroll on down below, and you’ll definitely find a bunch that will not only make you laugh but also spit out your drink in disbelief at the written word’s goodness. Okay, you can also call them the worst jokes ever, but that’s just a potato potahto thing.
So, connoisseurs of the bizarre, our picks of the most serious jokes are just a smidgen further down. In the time it will take you to scroll there, prepare yourself for the nostril-flares, eyebrow-raising, and scoffs. An added bonus would be a toneless “Ha” - in that case, give the silly jokes that made you articulate this onomatopoeic interjection your vote. After that, share these reverse jokes with your reverse-minded kin!
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You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark. But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light.
I’m STILL scared of the dark to simply put it. Does that make me scared of both?
Someone stole my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about that.
How does the white-tail deer jump higher than the average house?
This is due to their powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house can’t jump.
What do you call a joke that isn't funny?
A sentence.
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says “I’ll take a glass of H2O.” The second says “I’ll take a glass of H2O too.” Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water.
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, “Why the long face?” The horse, incapable of reason and understanding human language, poops on the floor and walks back out the bar door.
What is red and extremely bad for your teeth?
A flying brick.
I still remember the last words my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Why do you never see elephants hiding behind trees?
They’re so good at it.
A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper replies, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m OK.
A man walks into a bar, another man walks into the bar. Many people are walking into the bar. It is a great night for business.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
Back in 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee. I’m telling you this now because there was no social media in the ‘80s.
Why can’t dinosaurs laugh?
Because they’re all dead.
Scientific fact: if you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.
Mary had a little lamb, and the doctor fainted.
Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A deer. The absence of eyes doesn't change the species.
A patient told the surgeon he couldn’t feel his legs. The surgeon replied, “I know. I amputated your arms.”
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. They're very efficient people.
A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini.
The bartender thinks this is peculiar and realizes it is because he is actually dreaming. The man wakes up from the dream and begins to tell his wife all about it. His wife simply ignores him and goes back to sleep. The man rolls over and begins to sob as he realizes his marriage is in shambles.
Note: this post originally had 147 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Not Sally.
Alright, I need an unwilling population to inexplicably deadpan recite these to. I would do one of these a day, then just turn around and leave with no smile or explication.
I wish I could retell these with a straight face but I'd laugh before the punch line every time!
I love some several of these jokes, but some of that intro comes outta left field...
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. (Who's there?) Not Sally.
Alright, I need an unwilling population to inexplicably deadpan recite these to. I would do one of these a day, then just turn around and leave with no smile or explication.
I wish I could retell these with a straight face but I'd laugh before the punch line every time!
I love some several of these jokes, but some of that intro comes outta left field...
