We’re constantly bombarded by messages that we should seize the day, live life to the fullest, and that we can do and be absolutely anything that we want. It’s either empowering or emotionally exhausting depending on your point of view. One of the problems that lie at the core of this ‘go-gettism’ philosophy is that there often isn’t much guidance behind the energetic urging to not waste a single moment more and embrace an adrenaline-filled, happy-go-lucky lifestyle.
That means that it’s up to every single person to try and figure out what they really want to do, whether it’s professionally or during their spare time. And that can lead to some very naive mistakes. Maybe you realized that bungee jumping really isn’t for you. Perhaps you learned the hard way that camping isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be if you don’t have a tiny Aragorn living inside your heart. Or maybe you got burned after trusting your colleagues too much.
Reddit users opened up about their worst experiences and mistakes in a brutally honest thread full of worldly wisdom. Scroll down for the anti-bucket list of things that people will never ever do again.
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Work in a covid unit. It was worth it in the beginning when I felt like I was trying to rescue victims of an unknown enemy while risking my life to buy precious time for a game-changing miracle. However, parts of me have died over the last two years. The patients that come into my ER now days have turned up their noses at a vaccine that many have died in my presence waiting for. The ones dying of covid are shouting at me, hitting me, threatening me, and trying to pull the PPE off of my face because they don't think that covid is real. I've had to drive past protesters on my way home from a shift where I had to take an eight year old off of life support because her unvaccinated parents gave the virus to her. I don't even feel sad anymore when a patient passes because now I have a ventilator open for at least one of the next three patients circling the drain.
I'm tired of getting yelled at by antivaxers and their families. I'm tired of risking my life for people who won't do the bare minimum, like taking a jab, to live.
I've spent my life trying to help people, but no one is worth it anymore. You win. I'm done. I regret it all. Everything I ever stood for is dead. The only thing that matters to me is my dog. She will never understand why I never came home, but she has widespread cancer, so that won't be long either.
Facebook. Deleted the account, never going back. I don’t miss it at all.
Vote Republican. I was a lifelong R until they picked Trump. My eyes were opened to what they were and I'll never donate another cent or vote R for any position ever again. I love when I get the calls from them, begging for money. I get to explain why the money they used to get is now going to their opponents.
I've decided as long as there are starving children and pets in this world, no political party is getting a cent of my money.
The anti-bucket list is the complete opposite of the bucket list, a list of all the things that a person hopes to do in life.
They say that the best teacher is cold, hard experience. And there’s no denying that trying out a whole bunch of different activities can quickly help you filter out what you actually enjoy doing and what sounds great on paper but is horrible in real life.
However, things aren’t so easy when you deal with underlying assumptions like trusting everyone, not just leisure activities. If the fundamental ideas that make up your life get shaken, you can be in for a rude awakening. And with a lot to think about while you’re sitting there, angry, ashamed, embarrassed.
Buy clothes that don’t fit well in hopes that “someday” I’ll lose weight and be comfortable in them. Just size up, damn it, and be comfortable now!
Settling for a relationship knowing you are not really happy.
Never. Again.
Attempt [to end my life].
After maybe three of four days after the attempt I experienced what I think is called epiphany. Started everything all over. Loved myself, finished therapy etc. No matter what bulls**t life throws at me I will never do it again.
Something that we all have to remind ourselves of from time to time is that it’s all right to make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. And, heck, you could argue that perfection is overrated. What really matters is learning to embrace the mistakes that we make and learning the lessons that are there to be learned, without regret.
Vanessa Bohns, an Associate Professor of Organizational Behavior at Cornell University, explained to us earlier about embracing mistakes, dealing with our embarrassment, and why hiding our mistakes isn’t healthy for us.
"We spend a lot of time and effort presenting an ideal version of ourselves to other people. When something happens that contrasts with the image we’ve been projecting—when we say or do something that shows we actually aren’t as graceful or as smart as we’d like people to believe—we feel embarrassed," Vanessa told Bored Panda during an earlier interview that many of us want to seem perfect.
Give a f**k about other people’s opinions of me. Not my business.
Now I always pee before cutting jalapeno peppers. The other way around, never again.
Apparently a mistake only done once. (Careful around your eyes…)
Assume that every co worker is a friend.
I truly believed most of my colleagues were friends in a place I used too work, to the point I’d go above and beyond to help them. Even if it was rarely if ever reciprocated. Yet whenever I needed help they were nowhere to be found or were ‘busy’. If I got in trouble they were quick to throw me under the bus without hesitation and would lie to my face about doing so.
I thought some of my co workers were friends and even invited them to my engagement party. They did RSVP yet none of them showed up.
"Discovering you were wrong about something most everyone else around you has long known to be true is one of those moments. In that moment we learn, 'Wait a minute, maybe I haven’t been presenting the image of being smart or worldly that I thought I was presenting all this time,' which is embarrassing,” she explained how embarrassment works.
“One thing that’s interesting about embarrassment is that, for as much as we might experience it as painful in the moment, it’s actually very socially adaptive. Being embarrassed signals to other people that you care about what they think. And that actually draws people in to you,” the expert pointed out that when we admit to our mistakes openly, we become better liked.
I refuse to ever do retail again, people are literally such a**holes and don’t realize your trying to help them and still get their job done.
But…. Everyone should work in retail or food services for a while. To appreciate the crap work and how vital it is. And to appreciate where you’ve been and where you’re going.
Smoke. Did it for 14 years. I feel so much better having quit. Been about 10 years since and the amount of money saved and the smell and the cough.
Having sex without wanting to. I was in a relationship with someone who'd frequently pressure me into having sex, and I'm definitely never ever doing that again.
Same. I'm stilling getting over the trauma. It just never feels right again.
“So blushing, burying your head in your hands, laughing, acknowledging how embarrassing something was, are all totally healthy ways to react.”
On the flip side, when we try to hide our mistakes and embarrassment, we’re shooting ourselves in the foot, socially speaking. In other words, it’s not only cathartic, it’s also socially useful for us to admit to the times we utterly embarrassed ourselves or messed up beyond all belief.
Work as a bartender.
I know, I know, the money is good. But getting home at 4am or later, the booze and drug scene, surviving on Red Bull and pedialyte, and getting grabassed by strangers while trying to pay my bills is not the life for me.
787 days sober and I’ll never look back. Got my degree and working as a design specialist/content developer for a museum now and I LOVE MY JOB. Also started my own small business and it’s going really well so far. I have an art show coming up soon and I’m really excited for it.
Stay at a job I’m unhappy at.
I've been gruelling at a job that hasn't fit my values and personality for a decade. I have an interview at a place I've always wanted to work at this week. Hope I get it.
Trying to be liked by everybody by always being nice and never saying no. Never again.
“The unhealthy way to react is to pretend you’re not embarrassed, that you didn’t make a mistake, or to get angry. Those things undo the positive effect of embarrassment typically has on other people by conveying insincerity and pushing people away rather than drawing them in,” Vanessa said.
Sharing too much.
I used to tell people my life goals and plans, and upload everything on social media as well: what I was doing, who I was dating or in a relationship with, where I was... all that.
Now I realise there is so much more peace and happiness in living a low-key life. I high-key enjoy that s**t.
Camping. Never again will I leave my perfectly comfortable house for a weekend to sleep on the ground and share a disgusting bathroom with 150 strangers.
Loan a friend money with the expectation of getting it back. Haven’t loaned money since and if I ever do, it’s a gift.
I’m aware that this might come across as slightly arsey, but I’ve stopped loaning anything at all. (Ie not money, but books, CDs, clothes, household items, etc.) I’ve grown tired of being the one who keeps pushing to get my stuff back, and then, when I do finally get it back, it’s usually in a pretty bad condition.
Being obese.
I didn’t realize how much it negatively affected everything in my life until I lost 80 pounds. Then I was like “oh THIS is how I’m supposed to feel.”
Go to Disneyland or Disney World.
Paid waaaaay too much money to stand in waaaay too many lines, fighting crowds of waaaay too many people.
Disney parks are not a fun way to spend a day.
i went to hershey park a few years ago with my family. i havent been to disneyland/world, but they have a lot of the same things, less long lines, and CHOCOLATE
Forgive a cheater.
If it happened once, it can happen again. Also, it happened for a reason, maybe they wouldn't admit it or you wouldn't believe it but something was the precursor.
Bungee jump.. as soon as my feet left the edge all I could think was "well that was stupid"...
It was exciting and probably safe enough.. but it was enough for me to know I will never willingly do that again.
Childbirth and the postpartum period. Love my daughter to death. One and done.
Yep. I had my daughter and went through so much anxiety and was told it wasn't real that I did not have another child even though I wanted one. I just couldn't imagine going through that again. Now people talk about it more so I would be able to get help but 19 yrs ago doctors got frustrated if you complained about anything to do w mental health after pregnancy. Plus I was afraid they'd take her from me if they knew how axioms I was. To the point I held her for a year straight. I couldn't put her down I was so scared. I would sleep for a few hours a night as long as my husband held her while I slept.
Allow my mood to get tethered to someone else's.
With my ex, I was only ever happy when she was happy and if she woke up in a bad mood, my day was ruined. I need to live my own life without clinging onto someone else's.
Ah, emotional vampires. My mom is like this. I'm not allowed my own feelings. Every emotion she dictates. Now I don't know if I'm a strong empath or just can't deflect others emotions.
Working in academia - left two years ago and never looking back. F**k that noise.
Soon as the business folk became in charge of the institution instead of the professors, it was all over. Changing the model from " how can we best teach and research knowledge" to "how can we make more money to expand" destroyed the core philosophy.
This is already coming back to bite us in the collective behind. Never before have I encountered so many bachelor degrees with high hopes, high work ethos and just very little knowledge of anything other than their very insular topics.
Have a relationship with someone with children, thus finding myself in the stepfamily situation with never fully feeling accepted, the ex being omnipresent, and always being the one to adjust because… those poor children. And it’s true: they cannot help their situation. But I aint doing it ever again.
Pulling an all nighter. Age is catching up on me.
Attempted to pull a late night this weekend for the sake of having a social life and ended up going home early the next day to take a nap. I think I'm officially old now.
Birthing without an epidural. I had laughing gas instead. Made me high as a kite. I screamed in pain while I was dissociating into space.
Pregnant woman in the Netherlands here. There is now ay in hell I wouldn't want to choose giving birth without the epidural... Why to choose suffering? Hell nah, if I can, I will chose the less painful option to havea beautiful birth experience, hell with "it not natural" who cares? Also wearing shoes is not natural 😂 but hey... My respects to all women who choose to feel what our ancestors did before we had a painless option... Not for me!
If our ancestors had a choice, they'd have gone for the painless option.
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I did both. First time epidural, hooked up in hospital, pushing on my back, midwives not really paying attention to me. I felt like a piece of meat. Second time at home. Just laughing gas. In my own room. Squatting so that gravity played its part. With my own music and candles. Totally in control and even though it was more painful than the first time, it was also a better experience. Remove the fear and you remove some of the associated pain with it.
I know for sure some of the screaming that was coming from me in the hospital was shear terror.
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I did both but I much prefer the laughing gas. I did epidural once and gas the other two. That was shorter, easier and I could work with my body MUCH better. If I would give birth again I would skip the epidural again. But that's the thing. Every woman is different. No one should be pushed the epidural and no one should feel pressured to go without.
I can add though that the gas isn't supposed to remove pain and it doesn't. It's supposed to relax you enough to meet the pain and work with it and that plays a big role in childbirth. So I think you need to have that in mind and adjust your expectations of it that way.
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What needs to be talked about is that epidurals aren't always effective. If it doesn't work the first time definitely tell someone.
I had that experience with it too. First time ever getting high and the head nurse was shouting at me about how much I was using because that s**t doesn't do squat. Ended up being able to get the epidural. It was still spotty but made my thighs completely numb.
Laughing gas, or gas and air in the UK, is great for birth. It only lasts about a minute after one gulp of air so you can be 100% present if you want or feel like you've just downed two bottles of wine on empty stomach. It 's important to know it doesn't stop the pain, it only stops you caring about the pain so you do feel everything.
When epidural works and is started at the right time, it can be an enormous help. Also, for some women who are having difficulty with pain, it can slow labor. Put in an epidural, the mom is relaxed and labor starts to progress.
Getting an epidural doesnt mean its not all natural. The baby is still being shot out of your hoo ha. So that is all natural. Something to help with pain doesnt make it not natural
No way I would do it w/o drugs again my first one i had the epidural my second one came so quickly that there wasn't time for one lol! 10/10 get the epidural my labor was exactly 1hr 46min I could NEVER imagine that pain for the 36 or whatever insane number of hours some women go through.
I wanted an epidural with my first, anesthetist was too busy. Labour was more painful than the actual delivery. 2nd birth was much better, no back labour so I could relax which helped so by the time I asked for an epidural it was time to push anyways. That said, there is something to be said for taking advantage of modern medicine, why suffer if you don't have to. Always say yes to drugs mamas
I didn't make it on time for an epidural for my 4th...oooof! Id recommend for your first baby holding off as long as you can so that the labor progresses faster but after the first it's so short anyway, take it the second you can get it. And speak up if if doesn't work! I had one where only the right side was numb 😂
To Each their own. Two unmedicated no epidural births; one induced, no epidural. Only thing I'd change is being induced. Going into natural labor is probably why I didn't need the epidural for the 1st and 2nd
Just an FYI it still hurts with an epidural. Not as much to be sure but it still ranks as the number 1 (and 2) most painful experiences of my life.
Yeah it really does (hurt even with it). Sure not as much but still not even close to "painless" imo.
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When I had my 3 (had them all in under 4 years), they didn't have epidurals in the little cottage hospital I went to. They kept trying to stick a mask of something over my face, but after the third effort, I ripped it off and flung it across the room. So I had all 3 totally natural. Ugh. I had my tubes tied after that. LOL! (I've got grandbabies now)
Apparently in the US an epidural is common, birthing without is considered 'weird/special'. In the Netherlands ( I think even in general in Europe) birthing with an epidural is considered weird/unnatural. I literally know dont know anyone who had an epidural for labour.
Go to a strip club. I've never felt so awkward in my entire life.
I went once in my early 20s. Got a lap dance. Felt like a third wheel the whole time, like she was TRYING to give my wallet a lapdance and I was in the way.
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For the most part these are NOT bucket list things people tried and didn't like. FFS whose bucket list includes working retail, being in a bad relationship, having a child with someone they don't love. Come on this is just a list, predominantly, of bad experiences with bad things.
Exactly, it’s not things on peoples’ bucket lists that they don’t want to do again, it’s things that are now on the anti-bucket list of “I’ll never do this again in my life”. No one has “working retail” on their bucket list, but I bet a lot of people have it on the anti-bucket list after having tried it.
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This list sucks. It isn't even vaguely an "anti-bucket list". Why can't people at least try to post ideas that fit the theme, rather than jump on an opportunity to rant about something vaguely related.
I thought the idea of “anti-bucket list” was “this wasn’t on my bucket list before, but I’m never going to do it again”. It’s not things that were on the bucket list already and then turned out to be horrible, it’s somewhat normal things that they don’t want to do again. They’re two separate lists, not things from one moved to the other.
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i'm going to say it....having a child. i have one who is now 42 but, in retrospect, i would not have had him. it's a long story that i won't get into but it was a situation in which i could not choose to abort or adopt out. had i been able to do either i think my life would have been different. but, that being said, i will say that the experience did benefit me as i think it made me a better person. i don't know if that's a 'making lemonade out of lemons' attitude or not but after one i was done.
Thank you. I have 3. I felt pressured into having them even though I didn't want them and wasn't ready. I love my children, but parenting isn't really for me and they didn't deserve to be born into this world.
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Snorkeling. Did it once at a camp, hyperventilated and got back in the boat as fast as possible. Everything looked so much closer, slimier, more alive, and much better at swimming than me, and since it was below me, I couldn’t run away except by swimming to somewhere else with new horrors. At one point I nearly kicked a sea turtle that I had no idea was there. The worst part is I then had to go out again with the group the next day and they wouldn’t let me just stay in the boat. I am absolutely never going anywhere in the ocean with clear water ever again. Too many nightmares. I’ll stick to aquariums with walls, thanks.
Thank you for this actual anti-bucket list thing.
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For me, ride a roller coaster. I'll do other adrenaline inducing things, like cliff-dive or do the polar-bear-challenge, I just never had any desire whatsoever to ride a coaster as a kid. As a teen, someone begged me to ride one with them, and after a lot of back and forth, I finally gave in. I ended up getting severe whiplash, and didn't even enjoy the ride prior to the injury. It just seemed bumpy and uncomfortable, and not at all exciting. 30 years later, and I tend to throw out my shoulder a lot. I couldn't swear the whip lash is what caused my shoulder to get so screwed up, but that's around the same time it started.
I thought I was the only one who was bored by rollercoasters etc! People expect it's just that you are scared, but I would rather do something like rock climbing.
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Once I jumped off a cliff into a lake. I did not enjoy it at all.
Getting married again. One and done. Thank god I can spend the rest of my life with my current husband. We both agree we agree should have eloped. Ceremony + reception, so stressful.
Being friends with certain people who either used me as their personal therapist or refused to take no for an answer when he asked me out
Hitting my 8 year old computer in frustration while it was trying to boot. The next thing I hear is a faint error sound. It had been reading from the disk. Thank good I had backups of most of it, but my Minecraft worlds will forever be gone. Were it not for my stupidity, I would still be using my old laptop today.
I keep getting calls telling me to pay off my student loans, and the people calling are glad to help me. This is a little bit strange, because I am 75 years old, and I paid off all my student loans some 40 years ago. However when I feel the money people on the phone that, they won't listen. They just keep trying to get my money.
Would have been better if these were actual bucket list things people did that just weren't worth it, or at least sounded like actual bucket list experiences to someone.
For the most part these are NOT bucket list things people tried and didn't like. FFS whose bucket list includes working retail, being in a bad relationship, having a child with someone they don't love. Come on this is just a list, predominantly, of bad experiences with bad things.
Exactly, it’s not things on peoples’ bucket lists that they don’t want to do again, it’s things that are now on the anti-bucket list of “I’ll never do this again in my life”. No one has “working retail” on their bucket list, but I bet a lot of people have it on the anti-bucket list after having tried it.
Load More Replies... This list sucks. It isn't even vaguely an "anti-bucket list". Why can't people at least try to post ideas that fit the theme, rather than jump on an opportunity to rant about something vaguely related.
I thought the idea of “anti-bucket list” was “this wasn’t on my bucket list before, but I’m never going to do it again”. It’s not things that were on the bucket list already and then turned out to be horrible, it’s somewhat normal things that they don’t want to do again. They’re two separate lists, not things from one moved to the other.
Load More Replies... i'm going to say it....having a child. i have one who is now 42 but, in retrospect, i would not have had him. it's a long story that i won't get into but it was a situation in which i could not choose to abort or adopt out. had i been able to do either i think my life would have been different. but, that being said, i will say that the experience did benefit me as i think it made me a better person. i don't know if that's a 'making lemonade out of lemons' attitude or not but after one i was done.
Thank you. I have 3. I felt pressured into having them even though I didn't want them and wasn't ready. I love my children, but parenting isn't really for me and they didn't deserve to be born into this world.
Load More Replies... Snorkeling. Did it once at a camp, hyperventilated and got back in the boat as fast as possible. Everything looked so much closer, slimier, more alive, and much better at swimming than me, and since it was below me, I couldn’t run away except by swimming to somewhere else with new horrors. At one point I nearly kicked a sea turtle that I had no idea was there. The worst part is I then had to go out again with the group the next day and they wouldn’t let me just stay in the boat. I am absolutely never going anywhere in the ocean with clear water ever again. Too many nightmares. I’ll stick to aquariums with walls, thanks.
Thank you for this actual anti-bucket list thing.
Load More Replies... For me, ride a roller coaster. I'll do other adrenaline inducing things, like cliff-dive or do the polar-bear-challenge, I just never had any desire whatsoever to ride a coaster as a kid. As a teen, someone begged me to ride one with them, and after a lot of back and forth, I finally gave in. I ended up getting severe whiplash, and didn't even enjoy the ride prior to the injury. It just seemed bumpy and uncomfortable, and not at all exciting. 30 years later, and I tend to throw out my shoulder a lot. I couldn't swear the whip lash is what caused my shoulder to get so screwed up, but that's around the same time it started.
I thought I was the only one who was bored by rollercoasters etc! People expect it's just that you are scared, but I would rather do something like rock climbing.
Load More Replies... Once I jumped off a cliff into a lake. I did not enjoy it at all.
Getting married again. One and done. Thank god I can spend the rest of my life with my current husband. We both agree we agree should have eloped. Ceremony + reception, so stressful.
Being friends with certain people who either used me as their personal therapist or refused to take no for an answer when he asked me out
Hitting my 8 year old computer in frustration while it was trying to boot. The next thing I hear is a faint error sound. It had been reading from the disk. Thank good I had backups of most of it, but my Minecraft worlds will forever be gone. Were it not for my stupidity, I would still be using my old laptop today.
I keep getting calls telling me to pay off my student loans, and the people calling are glad to help me. This is a little bit strange, because I am 75 years old, and I paid off all my student loans some 40 years ago. However when I feel the money people on the phone that, they won't listen. They just keep trying to get my money.
Would have been better if these were actual bucket list things people did that just weren't worth it, or at least sounded like actual bucket list experiences to someone.
