50 Anonymously Shared Secrets That People Wouldn’t Dare To Confess In Real Life (New Posts)
Disclosing our secrets reduces stress and helps us come to terms with our behavior. So the fact that some of the most powerful people or institutions in many cultures encourage people to admit their transgressions is no coincidence. Nor is the huge number of followers behind the Twitter account 'Fesshole.'
It enables people to anonymously confess "their sins" and countless have already turned to it for a shot at internet absolution. So let's see if we can give them exactly that, shall we?
We at Bored Panda compiled some of the wildest submissions 'Fesshole' has recently received, so put on your confessor hat (or pick up a scepter, whatever works for you), and continue scrolling to check out what some evil-doers have been up to.
For more, click on our older publications on 'Fesshole' here and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
It doesn't sound stupid at all! And I'm so very sorry for your loss. No parent should ever outlive their child. Brought a tear to my eye.
Nah. It's like the reason I saved a loved ones voice mails. I can still listen to him.
It's not at all stupid, you go ahead and honour her memory in whatever way feels right to you.
... put a cat down, just because you move? Seriously, I hope this sad excuse of an attempt to be a halfway human POS never had any fun in its life again. Fück these people, whatever treats some sentient living being, who likely loved that thing, like that doesn't deserve its feelings to be taken into account anywhere, and if, then only to make sure it hasn't any chance to have fun.
Unfortunately, there r too many people like that. Luckily, most vets won't do it unless there is truly a valid reason. They will usually just take the cat from the owner and try to find it a new home
Load More Replies...How could you put a cat down...or any pet...because you're moving??!?! Really...
My mother's husband had my dog killed the day after my mother died. Some "humans" are just walking s**t in a Edgar-suit.
Load More Replies...My dogs previous owner(s) did this, adopted him as a puppy and not even a year later, decides to move back to their home county and drop him off at the shelter they adopted him from instead of taking him with them.. Luckily for us because we got the best dog in the world, but I secretly hate his previous owners, they didn't deserve this precious dog or his love.
Well at least they didn't put him down. Maybe they had other reasons they couldn't take him. I got my cat Gizmo (RIP) because his owners were getting a divorce and moving back to England from the Middle East and it's a six-month quarantine for pets there, whereas when I moved back to Canada a couple years later, my two boys just had to be microchipped and up to date on their rabies shots. Sadly he passed away a few months later at just four years old. Still miss him seven years later!
Load More Replies...Good for you. What kind of psycho puts down a perfectly fine animal bc they move?
You don't put a perfectly healthy cat down just because you're moving. Wow.
worst case scenario she might have just said no and then it would look sus if it disappeared. so just easier to save it i suppose. 🤷♀️🤷♂️
Load More Replies...I was homeless and kept my dogs in three cheap motels where we lived for 5 years. So anyone who puts an animal down to move is a monster.
In The Secret Life of Secrets, Dr. Michael Slepian, the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia Business School, explained that we can draw a line between secrecy and privacy by considering secrecy as an intention to hold specific information back, and privacy as a reflection of how much we broadcast personal information, in general.
Generally, people who are more private require closeness before they let you in. Yet those who are less private may be happy to disclose personal information, not just to friends and family, but to coworkers, acquaintances, and even people they’ve just met as well.
You may not want to discuss your sexual experiences at work out of concern for privacy (and for what is appropriate), however, this is very different from wanting to keep some specific experience a secret. In both cases, you are taking control of your personal information, but for different reasons.
Even the vet agreed to do this these must have been some horrible kids and the parents of the kids just let a BUNNY get abused ?!!?
To be fair, young children dont know how to take care of and therefore shouldnt be responsible for a pet
Load More Replies...Don't mind me grinning at my computer, just fantasizing about a rabbit that "died"
unless it was for the boys, and they were too embarrassed to get them.
Load More Replies...Is anyone going to mention the sex tourism that has plagued the Czech Republic since at least the 80’s and how, when a group of guys travel there for a “boys weekend” they’re not hooking up with randoms they meet at clubs, but often underage & almost always manipulated into hooking at the train depots, subway stops and near touristy nightlife??? I’m not shaming empowered secs workers or open marriages, but consider who he and his pals were going to try to use those condoms on. I was there a couple weeks ago & saw very young girls in puffer jackets and skirts so low I could see their trim. And it was cold! Eyes that looked like plates & no way they’re over 20. Probably not over 16. Ya, I’d leave his a*s, too!
Exactly his intentions were pretty clear and that's just gross to bring that into your marital bed. Bye bye!
Load More Replies...Immoral action not withstanding, a cleverer guy would have bought the condoms once at the destination.
Load More Replies...It's a confession, as she went through his luggage before he went
Load More Replies...It's not necessarily snooping. When we go on vacation I sometimes dig around in my bfs bag to see if I need to pack certain shared items or not or open it to put something in there of mine or of is that he forgot.
Load More Replies...IMHO, it's the eye and the timing that makes a good photographer - not the equipment.
Load More Replies...I get this for year one but what this actually says is in 15 years I have never bothered to invest in a skill that I definitely should have, even if I'm managing to slide by. It's the equivalent of my old boss who got away with continuing to claim not to get excel. I loved the new ceo when he announced that he was sending that boss onto an intensive 2 week excel deep dive because it wasn't fair that no one at the company ever just took the time to show him....
Operating the camera is only one part. You're also in the right place at the right time, with the right subject matter, you're framing a good shot, and getting the timing of the shot correct. That's like getting pissed at a stunt driver because he doesn't personally tune his engine.
Like every software developer in the world: they don't know why and how it's working, and they don't know how and why it's not working...
I mean you still have to have an eye for framing, so we can give the guy some credit.
Sounds like you faked it and made it soooooo enjoy the awards. You earned them.
honestly? I managed to get a distinction in my photography in art college doing the same thing. What matters most, in my opinion, is subject. Everything else can be fixed with photo editing. And lets not be liars, we all know a good amount of these stunning photos from awards we see are edited, at least to add more light etc. But knowing how to edit is just as much a skill as shooting the photo itself.
"Aside from sex, money is another example of something you may not talk about but may not be intentionally keeping secret," Slepian wrote. "You might not talk about your paycheck out of concern for privacy, rather than wanting nobody to ever know what it looks like."
"At the same time, there may be other specifics you intend to keep hidden, such as a particularly unwise financial decision. These examples help us see that privacy and secrecy can coexist, and there can be gray area in between. So, can we ever really separate them? Yes, and the person who knows best—whether something is private or secret—is you."
... and did you get yourself checked out? Because if your wife didn't even remotely recognize the smell (and yes, she knows the normal smell), there might be something wrong with you, too.
An after-beer dump can be smelly as hell, though and 'abnormal'...
Load More Replies...This might be my favourite story in this thread, tbh. Dog was saved, man's dignity was saved; everyone wins.
I read this while eating and nearly spat out my spaghetti because i had to hold in the laughter. 😂
You should never ever drink this much either. That implies pretty intense liver damage. Let's just say I'm happy for your dog, but terribly worried for you.
Who cares if your dog is ugly. Dogs can be amazing and also ugly at the same time. You can't become a neighbourhood menace just because someone thought your dog was ugly.
A well bred naked crested looks like a pony....I love cresteds
Load More Replies...I have a Boston terrier I adopted and a very sweet poodle mix who is not “conventionally” beautiful (but I disagree). The Boston terrier always gets comments on how cute he is, but in reality he is a terrorist (who I love dearly). My beautiful poodle is a sweetheart and so smart, I make sure to tell her how beautiful she is 800x per day.
there i no such thing as an ugly dog. the 'ugliest' are the cutest and nicest.
My daughter's teacher had published two songs some years ago. The class discovered it and played them non-stop for a couple of months, and he earned about €2.50
What’s that in usd? I’m too lazy to look up, plus I’m kinda dumb…
Load More Replies...My band teacher is bad at technology and somewhat old (late forties I think) and he is in a band w some friends. At the beginning of class he got all exited and said before we do the roll I wanna show you guys something! So he pulls something up on his computer and plays us his latest song. And he pauses tk and goes, this part took me so long to figure out the editing for. He was smiling the whole time and it was so cute he was so proud and exited to show us.
Somewhat old?! : P No, I get it. It's so good that you appreciate his excitement--he's learning every day, just like you, and I'm sure he learns a lot FROM you. And if there's anybody he wants to share his music with, it's his students, who probably inspire him every day to challenge himself. What a great post!
Load More Replies...What is a headteacher? Never heard of this so guessing it should have a space between the two words but still unaware of what it is.
Headteacher is a UK title, so no, there is no space. Head of the school (old title would be headmaster or headmistress). I don't know if all of them are, but many of these are clearly UK confessions.
Load More Replies...I been trying to get started on my dream. It's never too late. 🍗 KFC was in his late seventy when started selling chicken was only .75$
And unfortunately since this is a secret none of us can give it a spin. Kind of a bummer.
Should have replied with "What exactly are you going to tell her? I need to know, tell me now or I'll go to her right away."
In the UK it is quite usual to say 'cut me up' when referring to being made to brake sharply on a road.
Load More Replies...During his research, Slepian discovered that the more immoral we consider a personal experience or action, the more it feels like a secret, rather than something that is merely private.
He also found that the more we think others would find the information relevant to their own lives, the more something unsaid feels like secrecy instead of privacy.
I would go further and randomize the number each time.
Load More Replies...I managed the online shopping department for a high end grocery store. I made sure everyone got as many discounts as they could. Especially during the pandemic and I knew they had kids, we're older or had been affected income-wise.
This is lovely - although I do think OP needs to be more strategic/sneaky about it. Can't keep helping people out if the company catches on and fires you.
Aw, I get why you did this. My mum died 13 years ago and my dad this year. I miss them both terribly every.single.day.
Crying as I read this. My mom died last year and I regularly go to a linen store and spend too much money....because the owner's name is the same as Mom's.
Wow that's really something. I lost my mom 6 years ago this January and I never thought about doing something like that. I can certainly see how just seeing a message from "mom" would be a feel good moment.
I named the main character in a detective novel I am writin after my mom who passed away in march this year. She loved mystery books tho she would get nightmares from them. Now she can have badass adventures and I get to see her name every time I am editing. I udually write hirror and find glee in it, so it is unusual for me to find glee in writing happy scenes for her.
Wish i could do this but my (real) last name is Hungarian and both that and her maiden surname are unique enough. And whilst her name is semi common, it's not super common. Oh, also I have ptsd from the death so it 50/50 chance even if I did it would trigger me. Fun times. (To the fun part: /s)
"So hey, I've realized that basic cable is very cheap"...."wait dammit..too many five letter words" lol
Load More Replies...My husband was stuck on the bottom right word in Quordle. I said, yeah, "that one is rough!" It took him a few minutes. lol
He should stop for a while and observe what happens. She may be winning on her own and he just assumed it helped.
maybe it helped and she got better at it too so he wouldn't know
Load More Replies...Dddaaaawwwwww... Just never tell her, ok? It's not necessarily bad, but it will crush her self confidence.
I used to this with my wife when she struggled to get it, but I made the mistake of telling her that I was dropping hints. Now when she's struggling she is paying attention to EVERY word I say whenever we discuss the Wordle and I think it's making her worse off because now that I know she's looking for the word I can't be as obvious. I hope the OP never tells her.
Lord, so many people who go automatically to the "dark ant controlling" place with spouses, especially men. Can it just be a sweet assist he's giving her, something so he can feel he's involved and helping her with her day?? Just hate the world we're living in anymore. Sick of it all. I want out. Yes, I'm a woman, before I'm attacked for being one of the manipulative males.
I don't think this is ok honestly. It's not "sweet" it's patronizing and controlling n fn weird. I said what I said
how??? how is it controlling he’s just helping his wife for fun cuz he loves for
Load More Replies...It really is these little things that get you. I've been there. Sympathies, my friend.
God dammit. That one stings. It's all of those daily reminders of what we lost, not the big things, but the stupid things we used to take for granted. I wish it got easier, but time will dull that ache after a while. That's the best I can offer you
I got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer this year, and this hit hard.
If the sympathy of a random stranger can mean anything, my thoughts and heartfelt best wishes are with you.
Load More Replies...I'm so sorry for your loss. Just fill that kettle up anyway! ❤ In some cultures, this lets those who have passed know we're thinking of them.
It is the little things, and, strangely, you will miss the little annoyances the most.
Ouch. Here in America most husbands serve their cancer stricken wives with divorce papers. It's so common chemo places have pamphlets about preparing for divorce. When my mom started chemo they handed a couple to her, but I handed them back. Not an issue she had. My point is, it's nice seeing actual love and affection still exists out there.
I lost my friend of 45 years earlier in 2022. I miss the times we would talk about old movies.
He learned this from a study involving 1,000 participants in committed relationships. "I asked the participants to think about something they had not disclosed to their romantic partner," the psychologist said.
"This was easy for them to do. We all have many such things, ranging from the consequential to the mundane. Some of the things people hadn't disclosed were acts they considered highly immoral, like cheating on their partner and misrepresenting their past. The participants said that these felt very much like secrets. But other things did not seem immoral. For example, one participant told me he quite enjoys having the apartment to himself, and doesn’t mind when his partner is away for the weekend. In fact, it makes him quite happy."
"Another participant told me that her partner doesn’t know how much she spends on yarn. These things didn’t feel like they mattered all that much, and so not mentioning them didn’t feel like keeping secrets," Slepian noted.
U can't always be 🤣🤣🤣 here on bp.. some times bp makes you 🥺🥺🥺
Load More Replies...Same here. Had a woman in the apartment complex with two Pomeranians (Monster and Cinnabon.) They are cute as heck and funny to boot (Monster always has a chew toy on walks. He walks a few steps, gives the toy a good shake, walks a few steps, repeats shake. I think it's his way of saying "Don't come near me or I'll mess you up like this!") I didn't see the three of them for a month...was worried. Finally saw them and she told me she had a business trip and "the kids" stayed with her parents.
Yes! There's an old couple that walks in my neighborhood and whenever I see the wife walking without her husband I think "oh no wheres ____?!"
I worked in a restaurant that the majority of the customers are elderly.... my bosses have been known to go knock on doors or call family members when regulars doesn't come in. So much so they most of them tell the bosses when they are going away or having surgery, Mal even had his son come in after he slipped and broke his leg.... Mal Jr.: Dad said I had to come in and let you know he won't be in while he's healing, HD said I had to come ASAP or you'd be banging on his door? Lady Boss: lol yes yes we would have thank you
My last job was in fast food drive-thru and esp during quarantine we got to know a lot of the elderly who come through. The ones that come as couples then only one comes through are the saddest but when one who comes through every day for a coffee and a conversation stops coming through we all would talk about it and keep an eye out. I only wish I'd known last names to check up on a few. Even if we don't "know" you, someone notices and misses you.
Load More Replies...There's a man who sits in the park with dreads that my husband and I always see in the same spot without fail. No matter how early or late we drive by, he's sitting there on his bucket. One day we didn't see him and he had just moved to another part of the park. In our minds, this guy is chock full of wisdom and life experiences and he is our friend lol
I think it's most impressive that he's been in his late fifties for over ten years! My wife said it's because he's always running. Health and/or special relativity, I assume.
Wait, you can get paid to appear in a police line up? That doesn't seem right. What if you get picked out as the suspect?
It does seem shady.. I don't know how it really works, but if they only have one or two suspects and the person picking them out picks an actual suspect out of a whole line of random people maybe it helps to confirm that the chooser isn't just choosing someone random?
Load More Replies...A healthy marijuana market means full employment for the police. So you did pay them back.
Maybe before it was legal. Now I can be pulled over doing 80 in a 65 and roll my window down and smile as we both smell the weed in my car. Knowing full well that there's nothing the officer or trooper can do about it. What? Nothing. That's what I thought. Yup. Weed in here. Do I look high, no? Then buh bye. Not sure how weed keeps cops employed seeing how in my state it's 100% legal... But sure, if you say so!!
Load More Replies...Well now I'll never stop wondering what franchise that was and whether I've seen ET Ballsack.
Seriously,were all gonna be peering at wrinkly alien skin wondering from now on.,
Load More Replies...Now I really want to know which one it is. Which alien, not which ball, lol
Only Earth has a moon, excluding gas giants, because they're werd.
Load More Replies...That is actually next level genius. I do wonder now if you also had to create a black hole, as I might have an idea to pitch
Serious question: what popular sci-fi franchise has under 1 million viewers?
He was talking about a marketing campaign for the franchise, not the actual movie or episode. I guess almost 1 million people saw the campaign.
Load More Replies...a lot of times my to do list is things I have done. instead of a never ending list of demands... I am faced with a list of satisfaction ( and I can see I have actually accomplished a lot)
I had a team do this as part of malevolent compliance. We were told that our bonuses would be pegged to the number of tasks we completed in JIRA boards. And that we should only be working on tasks on the board. You would not believe how many tasks were getting added to that board. But we couldn't just put random tasks, or that would cause issues, so we would also waste time trying to come up with fancy names for stupid tasks. "Refill hydration containment units" (refilled my water bottle). "Meeting in regards to increasing team energy" (meet up in kitchen to chat about food). "Team cohesion meeting" was a pretty good one to cover most nonsense.
I do this for guys I supervise. I add stuff they did already to their work lists just to make them look good
That's so kind. I'd like to have you as my supervisor.
Load More Replies...Slepian said people are often wondering if they're more secretive than the average person.
"When we start talking about tendencies for secrecy, we bump right up into personality psychology," he said. "A common way of measuring personality is to ask about five broad traits: Openness (open to new experiences and to things being complicated), Conscientiousness (organized, disciplined), Extraversion (enthusiastic, social), Agreeableness (polite, eager to please), and Neuroticism (the less polite word for high negative emotion; many prefer to call this “low emotional stability” instead)."
(If you ever need to remember this information straight away just remember the acronym OCEAN.)
Am I the only one who doesn't answer the door at all unless I know who it is and I'm expecting them? Tbf I have chronic migraines and I'm not getting up for random door knocks when I'm in pain or medicated.
Nope, me too! Though I had CCTV cameras installed so I can see who is at my door! This was before Ring doorbells were a thing but whatever I have to use I'm making sure it's the person I'm expecting before opening the door! I get cluster headaches.... evil things so I can sympathise!
Load More Replies...I answer holding my 80 pound dog. Gets those damn security system guys to F off. He’s barking his head off and they’re telling me my house isn’t that safe. Nah, we’re good.
My dog always dashes to the door and leaps up at it. Makes it rattle in the frame! He has a beautifully deep bark too and sounds enormous and scary. In truth he's only a terrier who would be very easily bribed by some meat!
Load More Replies...Where I’m from you have no choice but to show up unannounced. We don’t have decent cell service & many don’t have land lines. When you arrive at one’s property, you let out a loud yell that sounds like “whoo-eeee” & wait for a reply. If no one comes out or responds after the 3rd or 4th call, you don’t approach their entrance. I know it sounds weird and I’ve no idea how it started, but it’s been like this as long as I can remember.
Get a doorbell camera. I had the police come to my place once at about 4:30am. I told them I wasn't home and to come back later. Then I had time to prepare for being arrested. 😁 Tips: put on warm socks. Write phone numbers on your arm. Take everything out of your wallet except your ID and one credit card. No cash. Turn off your cell phone. Eat a good meal.
Yet was berating someone for stealing £10 from billionaires.
Load More Replies...I lost my daughter 5 years ago - I still have her last Christmas gifts from me wrapped in my closet. I expect I always will.
I've got a jar of homemade blackberry jelly in my fridge with about an inch left in the bottom. My grandmother made it, and she died almost 7 years ago. I refuse to throw the jelly away.
I have a voicemail my brother left for me before he unexpectedly died on 7/7/2015. I still haven't been able to listen to it seven-plus years later. And it's him apologizing to me for something he thought he'd done wrong.
Oh this really hits home! My sister passed twenty years ago. She left wrapped Christmas gifts for each of us, so mom placed them under the tree. I never opened mine. Have moved several times over the years and that wrapped gift is packed and unpacked each time. Still can’t bring myself to open it…
I have had Italian fig cookies in my freezer since 2007. They were the last fig cookies my mom baked before she died of stomach cancer. They’ve made the move to four different houses since then, to include a move to Virginia and back to Louisiana. I still miss my mom so much.
Bless your heart 😭 I'm so sorry for your pain
Load More Replies...You should watch Guardians of the Galaxy. Might change your mind about opening it.
Do what you feel is right. Just remember: opened or unopened, she loved you.
The second to last word is probably a spelling mistakes, but it works quite well as it is.
If you've truly mended your ways, why not?
Load More Replies...Have any bored pandas seen or even heard of the show "Who The BLEEP Did I Marry??"
Nope & that is why we get a kick out of reading it here!!! ;-}
Load More Replies...I was about to guess that he really like it or like it's shorter, easier to pronounce, she's got one of those famous family names....didn't see that one coming. Lol
My last name is Dickson, I’m just trying to escape it. EDIT: Love my boyfriends last name tho, Hutchins, it’s like my favorite thing to say.
Your spouse.... should know Everything especially about something like that before they tie themselves to you
Load More Replies...This is something the wife deserves to know. I understand husband is likely trying to change/turn his life around, and kudos that he seemingly has, but this is the kinda thing spouses should know about each other.
She will eventually find out, one way or another.
Load More Replies...Ok, finally an actual deep, dark secret. Also, this won't work forever. Just, FYI.
You'd be surprised how long though. Also, it might just be something simple and the poster is exaggerating.
Load More Replies...Yeah because your finger prints and DNA an still in the system. They still know its you with a different name why they take above details
I think what OP means is that, OP is trying to hide from other criminals not the law officers.
Load More Replies...It would be seriously satisfying if someone filmed this. I'd email it to the prick everyday for as long as I needed to feel vindicated (or until the baastard had a mental breakdown - whichever came first).
I got bullied a lot in middle school. Shoved, stuff taken, the works. School didn’t do jack about it despite my numerous complaints. If I was an adult these incidents would be assault and theft. I wonder how people would take it if the cops showed up and said “Eh, boys will be boys” or “ Maybe he likes you” ( both things I heard after complaining about my bully to school admins).
I feel for you. I went through the exact same thing. Got suspended for a week in 8th grade for defending myself against a girl trying to beat the c**p out of me. She got suspended too, but it just made things worse when we came back.
Load More Replies...People are too sensitive these days and can't take a joke...I'm talking of course about the bully crybaby who had the police called on him. lol.
The bully asked for it. He did steal, so OP was totally entitled to call the police. Nothing satisfies more than humiliating a bully in public!
What a prick. Good for you! My ex took my car without permission (like literally left while I was in the shower) because his was out of gas. UM, okay - how am I supposed to get to work? This was before Uber. So I called the cops and reported it stolen. They called me when they pulled him over to verify he was my husband. I told them I'd never heard of him. We were well on our way to divorce to begin with. F*ck that guy.
That reminds of the time I was a security guard at a railway station...(about 18 years old). My buddies were out partying (casino and whatnot) and on the way home they found a dead raccoon in the road so they came to my work and put it in my vehicle... I had told them to get rid of it before I call the cops and god damn if they didn't get there as I was picking up the phone and and dialing 9-1-
"My research finds that someone who is more secretive (whether having had many experiences from the list or just a few) tends to be less extraverted and less emotionally stable, but more conscientious," Slepian said.
Additionally, the profile of a person more likely to get involved in the kinds of situations that people keep secret is that of someone who is open, extraverted, and emotionally stable, but less agreeable and less conscientious.
This IMO has little to do with IQ. If you never learnt, you cannot do it. Good luck learning (says the woman who replaces the laces with elastics because she just can't be bothered).
What do you mean "if you never learnt, you cannot do it"? Isn't that the opposite premise of learning a new skill?
Load More Replies...People who quote their IQs don't realize that a) nobody cares and b) it is a flawed evaluative tool that has been debunked many times.
This is true. There are new tests every so often and it's a very flawed testing.
Load More Replies...I learned to properly tie my shoes at age 45. My step-dad taught me to tie my shoes when I was five, but I spent the next 40 years trying to figure out why they constantly came untied. I even asked several people over the decades if they tied their shoes differently, but we couldn’t see any differences in our techniques. It turns out that if a right-handed person teaches a left-handed child, and the left-handed child ends up doing the first part left-handed and the second part right-handed, that difference will be hard to spot, but it will make a terrible knot. Thank you, YouTube. Six years later and I’m still excited that my shoes stay tied all day long!
Thank you, now I don't feel so bad that my left-handed, 12 year old grandson is having a hard time learning how to tie his shoes. We'll try another method that works for left-handed folks.
Load More Replies...I don't buy into IQ testing, but arguably the most intelligent kid at my high school (well booksmart) was the only person that wore velcro shoes (he wasn't physically challenged in any way). He also could never understand how to open the combination lock on his locker, so I'd always have to help him multiple times a day. We only became friends because we were the only two who chose Latin for our language credits, and since it was only two of us we got pretty close, even finishing Latin IV by mid-junior year (not because I'm particularly intelligent myself, but because we got exclusive attention), so started on Classical Greek for the remainder of HS... I was a fairly big dude (6'4" before graduating) so I like to think he avoided any potential bullying because I had his back. I know he went on to graduate Harvard Law (and definitely wasn't above lower-middle class financially, and not a legacy) - pray he's doing well! Great guy, just socially very awkward.
I only made it to Latin 3. I did a year of Ancient Homeric Greek, also. I don't know if that's Classical Greek or not.
Load More Replies...My husband is getting old now, and bending over to tie his shoes makes him dizzy. I would tie them for him whenever I could, but he wakes up and leaves for work hours before I’m awake. So he bought work boots that lace BUT also have a zipper on the side so he can put his foot up on a chair, slip into them (he pre-tied them), then zip them up instead of tie them. Fricking clever of him, I have to say.
Yeah, I'm right up there with you. See, kinesthetic movement is very independent from technical intelligence. I was a "bright" kid but I was 7 before I could tie my own shoes. It took me a solid week to get it down. I learned to ride a bike faster. Sometimes that's just how it goes. Be more lenient with yourself.
"Anyone who matters doesn't mind, and anyone who minds doesn't matter."
Load More Replies...There’s a lovely guy Rob Kenney on YouTube who makes videos “Dad, how do I?” as his father left when he was 12
Alas, you are teaching your children fat-bashing and discrimination based on appearance. Fat people are not not useless.
Sorry. You can't both grow up and be Boris Johnson. You have to choose one or the other.
I found out as an adult that my dad stole all his bedtime story plots from classic sitcoms.
Perfect. Now do one about how a twiggy useless worm grew up to be Rishi Sunak >.>
or a head of lettuce that grew up to be better than Liz Truss!
Load More Replies...Sneaky, but it did no harm and helped others in the end.
Load More Replies...Ah yes. I posted a review some years ago about a company of which I am no longer employed, and referred to the experience as, "it's like working in a concentration camp".....among other unflattering comments. They did make a few non-consequential changes, but ultimately shuttered all operations. Ooof. What a farce!
Can anyone explain in a nutshell how you use 50+ different IP addresses? My question is basically could this person have done it from home, or did they have to go to a bunch of internet cafes?
IP Spoofing. You can change the TCP packets sent by your machine to appear to be from a different IP address. In the United States this is perfectly legal, and there are legitimate reasons to do this. But in this case, they probably just used public Wifi, or web proxies. The issue with forced IP spoofing out of your network card, is that the server will attempt to respond to that fake IP address, and bi-directional communication will be broken. It's really only good to blast harmful packets without them being traced back to you. In IT it can also be used to blast a load balancer with requests to pretend to be from multiple sources (great for load testing)
Load More Replies...A local off-price store encouraged us to do this to get more diverse products in stock. I understood the assignment.
Haaa! This reminds me, when I was in my late teens, a friend and I were walking through a mall. I noticed an older man sitting on a bench, giving me pervy up-and-down looks. I smiled shyly as I approached him, and then when I was right by the bench, let out a humungous fart. My friend and I dissolved into laughter. Definitely one of my finer moments.
Had a secondary school teacher who invigilated summer exams. He made the announcements starting the exam on the gyms PA system and then sat down. He let rip a massive fart but forgot to switch off the mic beforehand......it at least lightened the somber mood of the exam hall
That is absolutely hilarious! Thanks for giving me a much needed laugh.
It's 2 AM and my husband is sleeping next to me. He just woke up because I was laughing so hard at this that the whole bed was shaking!
This sounds like something my dad might have done if he had a teaching degree instead of an architecture degree.
And never tell a woman that you don't like her perfume. She may not be wearing any.
Load More Replies...Well, you've just gotta quit now, move to another country, and change your name. Nbd.
Pack light, stay off the main roads, and only use cash.
Load More Replies...I was waiting for an elevator, along with a co-worker; her for UP, me for DOWN. Hers came first, loaded with people coming back from lunch. As the doors shut on her and the rest of the crowded elevator I asked "So, when are you due?" When I ran into her later that afternoon she was pissed; apparently everyone on the elevator went "Ah' and "congratulations", etc. About a month later she asked me "How did you know?" Well: "Almost every day since you started here you showed up for work hung-over. But I haven't seen you hung-over lately..."
The cashier at Home Depot once asked me how far along I was. I was so shocked I blurted out "5 months". LOL! I was in fact NOT pregnant. Just fat. :) That was also the last time I ever wore a peasant blouse.
Dude, don't comment on a woman's stomach. Even if she tells you herself that she's pregnant, it is not a good idea.
OMG, my bf and I chatted briefly with a grandfather who was out with his young grandson... As we said goodbye to each other, the grandfather said to me, "take good care of your little one!" We had no child with us and said nothing about wanting or having children... That's when I realized I had finally become so fat, I looked pregnant.
A minute later, I found a group of women about my age of I looked pregnant, with a stricken look on my face, and told them about the exchange. They of course gave me that "oh you don't look pregnant you look gorgeous!" affirmation that all proper women give to a member of their kind.
Load More Replies...Agree. I had the same reaction when my son was diagnosed with autism. But yesterday, we were driving past a new development of houses near a pond. I pointed to it and asked him if he knew why it was a bad idea to build houses so close to a pond and he responded with "Tidal waves?" We laughed for about ten minutes before I said "mosquitos."
All children are difficult. They're children for flip's sake. You can't expect so much from the useless buggers whether they're neurotypical or not
Thank you- this is the sanest thing I’ve ever read before right now!?
Load More Replies...My 14 year old son is nonverbal autistic. When we found he was having issues, before being formally diagnosed, neither my wife or I slept for a night or two. We just thought about "What would this mean for him growing up? What can we be doing to help him? What therapies will he need?" I guess all of the normal "sense of loss" and not knowing what to expect when you are dealing with something that just comes and hits you out of left field. He was formally diagnosed just after the age of two. He has been getting his therapies regularly ever since. He's still nonverbal, but he loves me, his mother and his sister to pieces. He has the absolute best laugh I've ever heard in my life. When he gives me a hug, he practically puts me in a headlock. He and his sister, are the two most amazing and beautiful things I've ever done in my life. I couldn't be prouder or possibly love them any greater than I do. My two little monsters!!!🥰😍
You Sir, have been gifted with the priceless joy of unique kids. Enjoy them!!!
Load More Replies...As an autistic adult person. Thanks. That's what we need when we're kids. Just your time and patience and acceptance and some understanding. My kids are also autistic and they're awesome! We often info dump to each other, tis how we bond xD.
100% agree! My son has a rare genetic disorder and birth injury that, among other things, meant he needed a feeding tube and hour long feeds every 3 hours, a month in the NICU, and 4-7 therapy and doctor's appointments a week. I spent his first two years exhausted and numb. At 4, he gives the world's best hugs, beats me at UNO about half the times we play, and his little voice piping "Good morning mommy- love you!" every day is a daily miracle that makes it all worth it.
My 18 year-old autistic son is one of the greatest joys of my life.
I've had autistic students that soared above their peers in both scholastic achievement and social behavior. (In some cases I found out they were autistic only because their special ed teacher invited me to a parent conference.)
I should not have experienced arousal from justified vengeance. But good for them.
See, I get this point. But there's people like me who cannot afford to move house away from their parents, even at 31. And my sister is autistic, so my dad finds it would be wholly unfair to kick me out but not my older sister, just by virtue of that. Though, I am the one who does most of the cooking, cleaning, and I still work about 30 hours a week typically to pay for the internet, heat, electricity, etc.
I'm nearly 33 and still live with mine. I have lived elsewhere and ended up boomeranging back because of bad circumstances. I like living with them. They're skilled and interesting people.
Load More Replies...Boundaries are a thing you can establish without doing this, but it's your life. I notice it says "discourage" not "prevent" though...
Sounds a bit sad to me. Our four kids have made their own lives but we've kept our big- a*s five bedrooms house and the doors are always open to whoever wants to stay, whenever. Most times it's only saturday night so we can watch the kids and the parents can go out, but one of them, when he was still single, moved back for à few months while recovering from à burn-out. They're all responsible, self-reliant adultes, but if they need us we're there. Whatever they need.
Get them a new dog that you love! (This is clearly a joke, chill)
Nothing wrong with that - I had a full on breakdown after the death of my much loved, bouncy, carefree, barky and all round delightful furry mate, Buster 10 years ago. He went from being a lively chap needing at least 5 miles of walking a day to just about being able to make it to the garden - a really nasty form of Leukemia stripped his life in 2 months. I miss him to this day.
That's so sad. I bet he had a fantastic life with you.
Load More Replies...Aww that’s sad. Rip little doggo :( you were probably the goodest of boys/girls
Every year, the whole family spends Christmas at my Mom's, eight of us in one house---but I really don't care about seeing anyone except my Mom and her dog.
Brexity Tories sounds like some modern white girl name lmao
Load More Replies...Get a new girlfriend. One that at least shares some of your hobbies... Plenty of fish, you know.
My husband is really into RC cars. He only started getting into RC's a few years ago and he will be 50 next year. He has adhd so the hyper focus helps him building the cars and problem solving issues but mostly he just has fun doing it. I fully support him doing this because it's something he really enjoys and it makes him a happier person. I agree with you that not caring about what other people think about you is the key!
I would pretty much choose Legos and model kits over pubs and clubs any given day anyway so kudos.
Why is she hanging out with Brexity Tories? 🤢 Well, other than that I see nothing wrong here.
Welcome to the world of engineering we ll spend 5 hrs for a 5min fix
I spent three and a half hours when I was little trying to figure out how to make my little brother’s nerf gun permanently jam the next time he fired it before realizing I could just break a thing connected to the trigger.
Load More Replies...My sophomore year art teacher was having trouble storing printmaking blocks, and I casually suggested she could stack them. She had been trying to think of a solution with another art teacher, and apparently, neither of them had ever considered it.
Reminds me of the story during the space race. The Americans paid a stupid amount of money to design a pen that would write in zero gravity. The Russians just used a pencil. lol
That story is supposed to be a "gotcha haha silly Americans" one but the reason they spent the money on the pen is that pencil lead is graphite which is highly conductive. Tiny amounts of graphite from pencil use floating around in a cabin is a HUGE fire risk in space.
Load More Replies...I had machined a set of chopsticks before. Seriously, I could have just ordered some online. It was fun though and I still have them.
You're in good company! There are several books out there with lists of Mondegreens (mis-heard lyrics).
Load More Replies...Lots of people in NZ name their child Maxine after a song in the 80s by Sharon ONeill. Not a lot realise it's a song about a dead prostitute in kings cross in australia.
LOL Engie is the name of our utilities (gas and electricity) provider here in France.
Load More Replies...I knew a girl named "Engie" because her parents love The Rolling Stones song "Angie", and that's the way they understood the lyrics.
To be fair, I used to think Liam was singing "...faster than a cannibal...".
Probably for the best. What little girl would want to go into the world named Pilot?
Very good! I had a non-stick pan that I was very protective of. My mother knew she couldn't use it, and never did. Then she had a friend stay over who offered to cook, and used My Pan, and utterly ruined it. She didn't even offer to buy a new one because in her mind it was still good. My mom got me a new pan, but I'm still hurt.
I have a Chinese cleaver and one time my BIL came over and “helped” by hacking the ribs I was going to prepare when they were frozen with my beloved cleaver, putting a big dent in the blade. Now when I use it for things like rutabaga, it makes me mad, and puts a wavy line in the cut pieces, that also makes me mad. Yet I can’t replace it because it still functions, sort of.
Load More Replies...When the Teflon ones came out decades ago my FIL scrubbed the coating off thinking it was dirt.
I have some baking sheets I hide in an “unused” cabinet in the kitchen. We have two of those tall skinny slide-out cabinets for such pans in the kitchen. We only officially use the one next to the oven, and the other had been kept empty—-until my husband burned up my baking sheets using them on the f*****g barbecue! So I bought new ones and hid them in the “unused” cabinet. When I bake, I wash and dry them when I’m done, and put them back in their hiding place before my husband sees them. Don’t worry, he still has those blackened pans for his own use.
I do the same thing. The ones he uses are in the cabinet with the pots and pans, and the good baking sheets are in the drawer under the oven with my pizza stones and paddle because he never goes in there. lol
Load More Replies...Keep a couple on the side, hidden. You can even put a piece of tape on the handle that says 'please don't use', in case they are found - or wrap them in something so they are inconspicuous.
Load More Replies...I just use cast iron. Can't hurt 'em. Nothing sticks to them, not after years of use.
Yeah, but it's easy to ruin the seasoning. Can be reseasoned, but it's a hassle.
Load More Replies...We have a rule in my household that whomever scratches a pan has to buy a new one the next day. Pans are immaculate.
I approve of this deceit. My boyfriend cleaned my new teflon pancake pan with wire wool 10 years ago and is not forgiven.
The spousal unit is not allowed to clean my cast iron pan because I caught him 1) using soap, 2) scrapping it with steel wool, and 3) leaving it to soak overnight.
I feel this in my soul. I allow NO ONE to use my kitchen or the utensils therein.
Well, if the father wanted to do something about his "lost" son, he should have done it himself while he was alive.
Yeah, I get that. Personally I wouldn't want to reunite with any lost siblings, not even if they came looking for me.
Had one get in touch when Dad died. Called me "Little Sister". It felt more demeaning than affectionate as we all knew about eachother but never spoke of or reached out while he was alive. She then proceeds to ask for money from the sale of dad's house. Even went so far as to call the listing realtor. I asked her, several times, if thats really the way she wanted to proceed. She said yes to which I replied by telling her that if she wanted to act like a creditor then I was going to treat her like creditor & proceeded to tell her to f**k off.
Load More Replies...I mean... is it bad? My mother didn't know her sister until she was in her 50s, and she's still finding relatives across the country that have spread out. She made the move to find all the children my grandfather had with different people, but it doesn't feel like any of them have done the same in return. If people only want to be in on the family because they know there's money to be had, then I don't really consider that family.
True story. Something like this happened in my town. At the wedding day nonetheless. The mother of the groom left his dad for another man and had the bride. Never saw her old family after she left them. Until the wedding day.
Load More Replies...Fair enough. My mother was contacted by a long-lost sibling when she was in her early 40s. Thing is, the person is a complete stranger with whom you don't share any memories. They don't really connect, and for years my mother felt guilty for not really liking her sister, and the sister felt the same, but felt obliged to keep contact since she was the one who had 'discovered' her sibling.
Having been subjected to more than my fair share of Father shenanigans I don't blame you.
Imagine the lost sibling turning out to be an ahole, bent on screwing you over, because you are a stranger to him and there is all this money to gain.
next time: put a child in "fake" command (steering wheel), and take a picture of the people faces
Better yet: put both hands up to your temples and stare at the dashboard with an expression of furious intensity while the car parks. Psychokinetic parking.
Us old people know how to parallel park no problem. I used to have a big old boat car - a Chevy Caprice Classic - and I could get that thing in anywhere.
Good for mum! Thank goodness you spotted her from outside and not...... in more graphic circumstances.
Once, the spousal unit and I decided to be adventurous and add a third. The lady we went to meet looked like his mother's twin. We noped on outta their post haste.
Oh no! My husband's mom is a hottie, but omg, that would be such a nope.
Load More Replies...If the woman's husband died after a long illness it had probably been a sadly long dry spell for her. If it was sudden, a quick non-romantic fling was a good panacea to reaffirm the gift of life.
If a bag of poo looks like weed to you, you might need to find a better dealer
A friend of my granny's had a very big dog. The dog died, and she intended to bury it in a friend's field. So, she got a TV box, back then when TV sets were huge, put the dead dog inside and got a taxi. When they arrived, she got off to ring the bell and get some help to move the box, but the taxi driver just disappeared, thinking he had got a big prize... I wish I could have seen his face when he opened the box.
Something similar: My neighbors put out baggies for Halloween. My brother and I were so excited about getting a goody bag. These a-holes put out dog poop.
The leftover 12 year old in me would have lit it on fire & threw it at their door. Lol!
Load More Replies...Cheech: Man, what is in this s**t, man? - Chong: Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it. - Cheech: What's Labrador? - Chong: It's dog s**t. - Cheech: What? - Chong: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man. - Cheech: Yeah? - Chong: I had it on the table and the little m**********r ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know? - Cheech: You mean we're smokin' dog s**t, man? - Chong: Gets ya high, don't it? - Chong: I think it's even better than before, you know? - Cheech: Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane tastes like, man.
If it was that would be one of the most hilarious things to ever witness if you saw it
Load More Replies...Peng = very attractive for those like me who didn’t know what that meant lol
Gee, I never thought The Penguin was much of a looker. The term must have originated among those Danny de Vito groupies.
Load More Replies...Why in the world did that woman want a photo with someone famous that she couldn't even recognize? 🤦♀️
Youre famous now, not really though... but if magically they saw it and realised they'd feel like a fool and probably would also treasure the picture because of that
My husband (after a few drinks) did this once. A group of ladies held up a cellphone and asked for a picture. His response was, “Wow! I can’t believe you recognized me!”. And went and stood with the group of them for a selfie. He recanted, though, and then took a photo of their group. They thought it was funny, luckily.
That's the same when employer fake competitor for the job opportunity you apply for... "yes, three other people are in the pipe for the same job...", just to ensure you will not ask for too much money and/or advantage
I tell people not to fall for this. See my other comment. And btw if you have to put a desired salary number in a job application, always put a low number (and never name your prev salary, it's not legal to require you to do so). Then disregard it once you have an actual offer and are negotiating salary. And of course, never ever be tempted or pressured into giving a number in final negotiations before they give you an offer with a number attached to it.
Load More Replies..."Boss, I need more money. I've got at least three companies who are after me." You don't have to add that they're the butcher, the utility company, and the mortgage bank. It's simply the truth that you need more money!
I feel a business coming on. Apply, we'll give you an offer letter. No real jobs available.
I actually applied for a job I had no intention of taking but that was enough... when I told them about my how I was looking for a new job and my intention to leave after 30 years when we have mostly new staff who count on me for my historical knowledge, I got $10,254 more a year to stay.
Trust me, your company would gladly $crew you over for less. Take it and be happy.
When do large companies NOT bend their employees over the proverbial table? Take the money and run! ;)
NEVER feel bad about negotiating your worth. Especially if you’re savvy enough to come up with something like this. Because guess what - Company loyalty is a myth. They do not care about you - just the $ you make for them.
Back in the DOT.COM days, all I had to do was go to work with a tie. By week's end, I'd have a $10K raise.
Unless they got a friend to set up the Ltd company, it's look very weird if someone actually checked it out, as Companies House website lists all directors and date it started trading
I think there might be something wrong with the connection between my eyes and my brain. I've been seeing things from the corner of my eyes that aren't there and reading words that don't exist. Three times I read "A child kept licking my seat...". I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't just a weird glitch that will straighten itself out.