Woman On Twitter Educates People On Getting Bitten By These 20 Different Animals
Even wondered what it’s like getting bitten by an animal? As you can imagine, there are animals that bite hard to defend themselves or as a form of an attack. However, not all animals are capable of biting with force, and can end up giving more of a suckle than a bite. And then there’s the question of whether they were trying to bite you with malicious intent.
Anywho, Jelena Woehr recently went to Twitter to answer this very question: what’s it like being bitten by various animals?
One thread later, we have a list of 20 animals and tweet-long reviews with ratings detailing the various bites found in the animal kingdom.
Bored Panda invites you to check out Jelena’s reviews of bites in the list below. And while you’re down there, why not vote on the ones you liked the most, and leave us a comment with your own animal bite reviews in the comment section!
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So, Jelena Woehr (pronounced yell in a war), a writer, editor, creative, educator, and businesswoman from Los Angeles, went to Twitter with a thread—a thread that reviews animal bites.
In particular, these are somewhat detailed accounts of how these various animals bite, and how it feels.
Now, we’re not sure whether the author of these tweets has actually done the empirical part of this experiment before writing up the reviews, but whatever the case may be, don’t try this at home!
The list includes a number of domesticated and wild animals: everything from goats to snakes to birds to dogs to different kinds of rodents.
Each review includes a general overview of the bite, its qualities and character, the feeling and other related details.
The reviews also include a rating on a 5-point scale with 0 being a bad and 5—a good rating. In some cases, the “experience” breaks the scale, but in most it stays within the confines of the numeric continuum.
my dad is scared of horses because when he was five or six he saw a lady get bitten really hard by a horse.
It took me years to get over my fear of horses after being bitten on the shoulder by an albino horse when I was about 9. My whole shoulder was black. I managed to stop being scared of horses after many years of riding lessons, but I am still very averse to all albino animals.
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One unsavoury individual took a bite out of my uncle’s brand new truck. The insurance company did not believe him until the owner of the horse told them that it was true. And Bella the horse had so many ways of inflicting pain whilst she was being groomed. I’ve got the broken toes, bite mark on bum, and the psychological trauma of being squashed against a wall to mention just a few. I miss her though.
Speaking of horses I'm getting my own horse soon! Yay! I'm going to learn how to jump a horse
I hate you! Which when translated reads as I’m so jealous of you.
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I lost a thumbnail to a horse. I was at a big trail ride with literally hundreds of other people and horses. I settling the 2 I had brought in their stalls for the night and noticed someone else's horse had an empty water bucket. I reached into the stall to grab the bucket so I could go fill it for him. Bugger pinned his ears, snaked his neck and bit the sh*t out of me. Thanks buddy. I guess you enjoy being thirsty. 🙄
I can confirm. I've had little babies nibble/steal clothing but an angry mom will gladly take a chunk out of your arm for you 0-0
it is just neighing or yawning. All horse teeth look like that
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Horses can bite pretty good. The bite I got on my shoulder was similar to the after effects of the Corona vaccine!
Actually my little step sister is missing a finger from a horse... And they have had horses its not like she was doing something stupid or anything
horse bites are painful as hell, one bit me in the collarbone once, the bruised area was insane
Don't be mistaken by the severity when horses(miles etc) bite! They clamp down like a vise! It hurts cuz it's not like they have sharp teeth that just sink in. The pressure is unrelenting and the bruises and internal damage is ferocious. A friend has subcutaneous scars from an attack and another one needs skin grafts because her mule ripped off the skin on her arm. With her teeth.
When I was a kid, I saw an older brother (about 11 or 12) ask his brother, "Do you wannna see my horse bite?" to his younger brother. Of course, the younger says yes. Older brother leans to one side, pulls the neck of his tshirt to expose his shoulder, then promptly whacks the younger brother in the junk with his fist. You know I used that one on my younger brother after I witnessed it! XD
I’ve been bitten by a horse. I was afraid of them for quite some time. I was wearing some body spray that had a pear smell to it and I presume I smelled delicious to the horse. His bite felt like being pinched on the shoulder. It then proceeded to chase me until I left his pin.
Hurts worse to be stepped on. We have really big feet in comparison to horses!
As someone who works at a stable and has been bitten many a time, I can confirm. Angry horse bites = week long bruises
Easy enough to have lasting scars/ bits of shoulder muscle missing forever.
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Horses can be downright lethal. Just ask Buck Brannaman, the original Horse Whisperer. He saved the life of a man handling an out-of-control one-year old that nearly took the man's face off. That horse was brutal, but all the ones I've ever come across were sweet - except for the mare who bucked me off and stamped on both legs. That took a while to get over, but I blame myself for trying to ride bareback near her foal.
That was a segment in the movie Buck. That horse was probably a rig (ungelded and undescended testicle) and was also an orphan with possible brain damage. He was a spoiled rogue. He definitely attacked that trainer and was in fight mode when he got scared off by people. (meaning he was going down on his knees to used the weight of his head and neck to further attack) In my experience this kind of horse was made by the idiot owner. They are also exceedingly rare.
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Unless it is a baby goat, then it is pretty painful since they have sharp teeth. I speak from experience here.
According to Jelena, among the best bites are those by the parrotlet, the African pygmy hedgehog, the chinchilla, and, of course, the giant squid, which got a million-point rating.
But, there are also bad bites, mostly ones that are anything but pleasant: those by the vicuña (South American camelids reminiscent of llamas), the domestic cat, the black bear hamster, and the Norwegian rat. The vicuña, though cute, got a -5 rating, so there’s that.
I got bit from my friend's pet ferret on my finger, it just has a cut
Though the thread received a modest amount of attention from the internet, just a bit over 13,000 likes with nearly 4,500 retweets, many were still engaged sharing their own thoughts on bites.
The commenters effectively said to avoid bites from animals like golden Syrian hamsters, geese, and Maine coons.
However, not all are bad. Some vouched for pigeons, gerbils, grasshoppers, and many other very tame animals as having either ineffective and/or amusing bites.
You can find out more in Jelena's Twitter thread, but before you tell us your thoughts on this. Care to share your knowledge—or better yet, reviews—on bites? Let us know in the comment section below!
I got bit by a water snake when I was 11 after I tried to pick it up to move it out of the road. I couldn’t pull back because I’d pull out the teeth, so I just had to stand there and let it bite me. Ungrateful little b*st*rd shat all over me too. 1/5 stars, this snake is rude and ungrateful to people saving their life.
Got back to its den and regaled its snake friends with tales of “Big Hands”
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I still have a scar from being bitten by an angry rabbit at about age 12. Do not recommend.
I got bitten by a seagull once. Their beaks are pretty sharp!
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I would love to do an Australian equivalent ...the problem being ....the first animal that bites you will probably kill you.
Except, apparently, the building-sized spiders
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The worst animals that I have seen for the bite are long tail macaques (macaques in general but this ones were feisty). Not only they have jaws strong enough to break Kongs (that survive pitbulls) (with the help of their hands of course). They can bite through Kevlar! The catching gloves that we had were made out of that material and they could still hurt you through it. (We only used them if the animals were in danger or very sick and needed to be taken quickly, if not we used transport cages of course)
Guinea pig bites are fairly low down the scale, depending on the type. Nibbly bites are cute; fear bites tend to be quick, deeper and more painful. They're still nothing compared to angry rabbit bites, which suck.
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Call me crazy, but I was bitten by a rattlesnake, then 2 months later, a viper. Only complaints I had was my arm swelled up and anti venom injections, but no pain at all.
some quirky women like to go to parties wearing earrings that are actually green geckos biting their earlobes ... (only in Texas) gecko-6081...071367.jpg 
you will not feel the blue-ringed octopus's bite, it is so small. The main symptom is death within 30 minutes without the antidote. blueringed...a1e21a.jpg 
The exact moment I got bitten by a baby wombat. 149635_101...204859.jpg 
I got bit by a water snake when I was 11 after I tried to pick it up to move it out of the road. I couldn’t pull back because I’d pull out the teeth, so I just had to stand there and let it bite me. Ungrateful little b*st*rd shat all over me too. 1/5 stars, this snake is rude and ungrateful to people saving their life.
Got back to its den and regaled its snake friends with tales of “Big Hands”
Load More Replies... I still have a scar from being bitten by an angry rabbit at about age 12. Do not recommend.
I got bitten by a seagull once. Their beaks are pretty sharp!
Load More Replies... I would love to do an Australian equivalent ...the problem being ....the first animal that bites you will probably kill you.
Except, apparently, the building-sized spiders
Load More Replies... The worst animals that I have seen for the bite are long tail macaques (macaques in general but this ones were feisty). Not only they have jaws strong enough to break Kongs (that survive pitbulls) (with the help of their hands of course). They can bite through Kevlar! The catching gloves that we had were made out of that material and they could still hurt you through it. (We only used them if the animals were in danger or very sick and needed to be taken quickly, if not we used transport cages of course)
Guinea pig bites are fairly low down the scale, depending on the type. Nibbly bites are cute; fear bites tend to be quick, deeper and more painful. They're still nothing compared to angry rabbit bites, which suck.
Load More Replies... Call me crazy, but I was bitten by a rattlesnake, then 2 months later, a viper. Only complaints I had was my arm swelled up and anti venom injections, but no pain at all.
some quirky women like to go to parties wearing earrings that are actually green geckos biting their earlobes ... (only in Texas) gecko-6081...071367.jpg
you will not feel the blue-ringed octopus's bite, it is so small. The main symptom is death within 30 minutes without the antidote. blueringed...a1e21a.jpg
The exact moment I got bitten by a baby wombat. 149635_101...204859.jpg
