‘Entitled’ Mom Asks If Her Child Can Pet Service Dogs, Can’t Take “No” For An Answer
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People get into petty arguments with strangers all the time. They are usually brief and quickly forgotten about, and everyone just gets on with their lives. However these days, with pretty much everyone wielding easy access to a camera phone, these minor altercations can suddenly take on a life of their own.
This argument at a mall in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is a classic example of this. Misplaced anger and petty vindictiveness over a refused request to pet a service dog escalated a simple misunderstanding into a viral video, that has thousands of people weighing in with their own opinions on the matter.
The video was originally shared to Facebook by service dog handler Megan Stoff and has been viewed over 2 million times, with people shocked by the aggression of the entitled mother. It is (or at least should be) a well-known fact that service dogs are there to assist people with special circumstances or requirements, and shouldn’t be interfered with while working. Sure, a polite request can be made, but no means no, and this mom didn’t seem to understand that.
Had this crazy experience yesterday at the mall where some lady asked if she could pet the dogs. People ask us all the time so I just said, “no.” All the dogs are working so it’s my go to answer. And they walked away. No big deal right? This lady went out of her way to come back with her child and yell at us for saying “no” and for not saying, “nO iM sOrRy ThEy’Re TrAiNiNg.” And we should “have a sign or something.” You mean the 20 patches on my dog that say don’t pet? 🙃 Entitlement these days is real. They even got mall security because we said they couldn’t pet the working dogs. 🙃😂 Security said that the lady was crying 😂 So much harassment for just saying no. This video is public and is shareable. There was no common sense here.
Posted by ML Leigh on Thursday, December 20, 2018
The group was on a meet-up at the mall, getting to know each other as fellow service dog training professionals. One of the group, Ciarán Williamson, couldn’t understand why being told ‘no’ upset the mom quite as it did, and after being confronted by the mall security that she called on them, decided that enough was enough and went home. Ciarán gave his perspective on being a service dog handler to Bored Panda. “I don’t necessarily mind being asked to pet my dog, though usually, I have to tell people no,” he told us. “I don’t really get upset by having to do this unless it’s a particularly stressful dog training day or environment and I’m having trouble doing what I’ve set out to do in the first place.”
Image credits: ML Leigh
“I’d rather people ask than just lean in and try to grab her, which happens every day… but I don’t always have the energy to explain what she’s doing or why she can’t be petted. I’m autistic and sometimes just can’t speak very efficiently at all so I can’t explain even if I wanted to. I might shake my head no, or indicate in some other short way not to pet her or talk to her, and I just want to have that respected. People also often take pictures of us without asking, and that makes me really super uncomfortable, I don’t want people to do that at all.”
“I guess I just don’t want people to assume I can divert my attention to interact with them how they want me to, and that if someone has a service dog in the first place, it means they’re disabled and probably having a hard time already. Using judgment about whether it’s appropriate to ask to pet helps (does the dog already have a vest on that says not to pet? Is it really loud and busy and chaotic of an atmosphere? Does the service dog handler look uncomfortable or distracted?). I have let people pet her, but in particular situations where I can focus on making sure I keep her attention, and I know I won’t need her to work for me at that moment.”
Image Credits: Ciarán Williamson
“Unfortunately I feel like people don’t consider me at all when they ask to interact with my companion pet the majority of the time. Usually, rude people just lean in and talk to her or try to pet her without even acknowledging me… They also often just assume I’m rude instead of something out of my control (like I can’t hear them, which happens a lot in overstimulating environments). I am concerned about people feeling the entitlement to do these things because it’s widespread.”
“My dog Clover is doing very well in training though, she has a Facebook page I started for her recently so people could see her and ask me questions about her and stuff there if they’re curious. I like talking about my service dog, just not necessarily when I’m trying to go grocery shopping! She deals well with strangers approaching, but she is an amiable and outgoing dog that enjoys people so attention from other people can be a big distraction for her and it’s something we have to work on all the time. I don’t think people consider that when they get upset about not being allowed to pet her.”
Here’s what people had to say about the situation:
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I actually agree with the mom. The handler should get a sign. A big wooden one that she can hit people on the head with when they try stuff like this idiot mother did
Your first sentence scared me a bit!
Me too!😂
Yes, me too. Then I read the rest of it. Some people are so stupid. What sort of example is that woman setting for her kid? That It's OK to behave like Trump?
Ditto!
I know me too. I was like how does this person not been downvo... then I keep reading.
Same! Glad to see there are still some rational folks left.
Me too!
You can't cure stupid...but you can whack it around with a 2x4!
The official term for such a tool is called a LART. Sometimes more colloquially referred to as a "Clue by 4"
LOL made me laugh, I needed that.
I don't think you could _bear_ the stupid outta that entitled BRAT!!! Some folks just need a little Pat on the head ....... with a SLEDGE HAMMER.
Excuse me but i had 5 guide dogs, they were there to help me, and people would interfere all the time, a person who is using a guide dog, or assistant animal has no reason to stop at every person and explain sometimes ppl are busy, plus I had a sign and people would pet my dog and read it then say... "OH me?????" @___@ Walk a mile in someone's shoes with a disability so you can understand... or try to. :o :(
Or a baseball bat...
Now, now, let's not resort to violence, she could simply carry cans of silly string or a water pistol for these idiots. Or how about something like this https://www.amazon.com/Forum-Novelties-Fart-Spray-Small-Colourful/dp/B002PEH6LK
..0r a camera! Ms Nasty seemed really not to like the Camera. Maybe afraid her rudeness would show up on the internet? like on Bored Panda maybe?
Your talking about a pet..so spray bottle with mustard water...lol
There was a sign. The Mom was in the wrong.
There was 4 signs - all over the service dog... as well as all the other service dogs.
No, you are not right, it's an invasion of the other person's life without being invited. She didn't even know she was talking with an autistic person, or the dog's owner also had to use a sign I'M AN AUTISTIC PERSON?
Unfortunately hitting her with the sign would be assault but might knock some sense into her! LOL! That child is probably going to be a nightmare!
Hahaha good one
LOL 😂🤣🤣
Mega oof.
Actually, I agree with Char-Char, your first line IS a bit unusual! I don't see a lot of thinking people agreeing with "her"!!! She doesn't even know how to carry a child, think she can read? Doesn't look like it! Maybe "NO" is to long! But, who knows, maybe a nice hard "WHAP"! would get her attention!!! Please people, the people behind the dogs are people, too! And as people they have the same rights, and deserve the same respect as you want! But for the Grace of God, you could be in their shoes, or wheelchair, too! Just be polite! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!
for a second I thought you were siding with the roach!
I like the way you think. although, a sign might be a bit difficult to manage.
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She is just TOO MATURE to do this. So embarrassing 🙄
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If you are replying to the original poster on this, then read past the first 2 sentences. "A big wooden one that she can hit people on the head with when they try stuff like this idiot mother did"
Excuse me but i had 5 guide dogs, they were there to help me, and people would interfere all the time, a person who is using a guide dog, or assistant animal has no reason to stop at every person and explain sometimes ppl are busy, plus I had a sign and people would pet my dog and read it then say... "OH me?????" @___@ Walk a mile in someone's shoes with a disability so you can understand... or try to. :o :(
I think you are misunderstanding Leekun - they're on your side.
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For the first time ever, one of my comments has disappeared from Bored Panda. All I said was that the mother's side of the story was that she accepted a No and went on her way. But as she walked off, one of the group told her to F off. That was the rudeness she was replying to. Two sides to every story and so easy to judge when we hear only one.
Considering what was caught on camera I seriously doubt it since she clearly states that a simple "no" was not enough and she wanted a reason as well, just so the other one wouldn't be "rude". Add on that she didn't consider the patches as "signs" and wanted other bigger ones. Even if the ones with the dogs had said "F off" she could have taken the high road and just ignored them, but no she had to call them out on it and make a big stinking scene.
In my experience, people like this lie. I can't tell the number of times I've looked into one of my guard's behavior, where they were 'rude' and 'overbearing' and 'racist'/'sexist'/some-other-version-of-bigoted. Almost universally, not only did we find clear evidence the guard behaved beyond reproach... the complainant most certainly did not. I love sending the body-cam footage being like 'we take your complaints seriously, can but I'm not seeing it. here's your entire interaction with our officer, could you tell me where he was offensive?' Nothing sets them off quite the same. (and they don't quite realize that if we have body cameras...we probably keep emails and recordings from the phone.) Maybe one out ten complaints require me talking with the guard... and usually it's a friendly reminder to keep their calm.
I agree, the way she went off and the way she repeated about how they said "no" means no one told her to F off or we would have heard it over and over on the tape. She's just a nasty person who can't believe a lessor person would dare tell her little princes the "N" word.
Mine as well
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Yeah but then you’d get some kind of hogwash like “oh the sign assumed I’m a woman” oh something along those lines. Then you’d have a whole slew of sheeple acting like you just flashed the Jesus card at them.
Naw. nobody reads signage. Ever.
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You are so stupid. See the post and pictures. She has a perfect sign.... that she can smother the lady with. Did I get anyone there? Lol
You're right, I did read that post wrong. My bad.😅
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I read elsewhere that after accepting No as an answer and walking off, someone in the group told her to F*** off. That is why she came back at them about rudeness. Two sides to every story. As none of us know the truth I think we need to withhold our judgement on a lot of these stories. Especially as this version doesn't even mention her defence.
It doesn't matter. There was not one part of her hissy fit on that video in which she mentioned profanity. I call B.S. If alleged profanity was her complaint, then that was the only thing she should have discussed, not "signs" (that she apparently ignored) or being recorded, so I'm not buying her story.
Actually, knowing someone who was IN that group, I can say that isn't true.
Yes but her saying she gonna “get her lawyer” involved is a clear indication of an asshat and she should expect some kind of “negative” response. I would’ve said much more then that for how ridiculous that mother acted. Plus she (the Mother) has no defense what so ever after spewing all the garbage- in front of her daughter none the less. I feel no sympathy towards the mother when she shouldn’t have even asked to touch the dog in the first place. Most of the time there’s a chance the dog might bite the person only because they see you as a threat towards their owner. (FYI I’m not saying all service dogs will do that, but there’s a chance they could and it wouldn’t be the owners or service animals fault, that’s part of the reason for the “don’t pet me” signs!)
For the record..it isn't just service dogs..it's all dogs. Ask before you approach and pet a dog. My sister had this problem. Her german shepherd loved going to the park..but as she got older, her body ached and she was going blind. She became scared of strangers and would avoid them when she could. So imagine my sisters irritation when the kids would ask their parents "Can I pet the dog" and the parents would say "Ok" without even asking my sister. She would stop the child and send them back to their parents. She was called nasty names enough times that she stopped taking the dog to the one place her senior pup loved to go. I hate people that disrespect boundaries.
God I hate people sometimes! This made me sad..
When I was working at a health care charity organization, two of the temps were students going through early childhood education training to eventually become teachers. In one of the classes they took, the instructor told them that they couldn't tell the children "no" or "stop"...they had to tell the kids to "redirect their energy." That had to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If your child is running towards the busy street or about to pull a pot of hot water on their head..you yell "NO" and/or "STOP." If the child never hears it, how is he/she supposed to react to it properly when it's vital that they obey?
I agree...what part of No is hard to understand? Some think it doesn't apply to them. To bad the child had to witness her Mom being like that...hopefully the child will grow up to have respect for others and their right to say no.
Is it me or is bored panda starting to post a lot of these 'shock' or click-bait type of articles... ie. ones where you want to smack the persons in the article?
THIS! I always tell my kid "you have to ask the owner if you want to pet a dog, never touch it without asking first". I mean, that's just common sense!
This is very important advice! I'm an old man who loves most all animals. Normally I ask the owner before touching a dog, but one time when we lived in Seattle my wife and I were on the big paved trail overlooking the lake. We stopped to look at something a boat was doing and a woman with a dog stopped next to me. It was some kind of pit bull looking dog and it looked up at me with what I thought was a friendly look. My son has a dog that looks a lot like it that is very friendly so without thinking I started to pet the dog and it snapped at me big time. If it weren't for the dog's leash holding it back I would have lost some fingers! Always ask!
service dogs are protected by federal and state laws. pets are not, but i get your point. the children always ask if they can pet because they are taught this in school. the parents? not so much. i never let my children pet a strange dog for their own safety as much as anything else.... you just never know a dog's temperment.
Regarding the law, when I worked at JCPenney a few years ago a lady had brought a regular dog into the store (not a service dog- no service dog harness or patches) and it was a huge dog. I had told her she had to take to dog back outside, she couldn’t have it in the store bc JCPenneys is not going to be responsible if her dog bites another customer(s)- it’s a liability issue. She wasn’t happy with that, but left willingly. Regular pets are not trained to be around a lot of people in a public place. Therefore they are not allowed in stores like that. I don’t want to see some kid get mauled bc their owner wasn’t paying attention. I see Moms not watch their own children and allow them to run around stores all the time. I’m pretty sure she would’ve not paid attention to her huge dog while in my store.
actually, strictly under the law, pets (and service animals) are considered property. as such, the law doesn't obligate you or anybody else to force one's dog to placate stupid parents. If there was... there could be a lot of potential for animal 'attacks'
I had just rescued a dog that was abused by not one but two previous owners. My poor dog was skittish and scared of quick or large movements. When two kids ran up to my dog and tried to pet him, he was terrified. After I lectured them up one side and down the other, those were two kids that will never make that mistake again. He became the best dog ever though. He lost most of his skittishness with time and became a happy pup. He just turned 16 years old.
I hope that my rescue Chihuahua will soon be feeling more peaceful and more sure of herself. SPCA animals are often been traumatize.
I have this problem also. Because people are so ignorant about Pit bulls and I own two. Both whom are VERY sweet, I insist that people ask me first just so I can educate them before they come running up and freaking out my dog and then scream to the media that Pitbulls are vicious.
I feel the same way. I never used to worry about it with my family dog because he loved everyone and everything. But my current dog is a rescue and afraid of almost everyone—especially children. I am perfectly fine with letting people—especially children—pet her as I’ve been trying to work on socializing her, but if people ask first then I can prepare her and hold her for them to pet her. Otherwise she’ll run away from them or start barking at them like crazy. Not every dog likes strange people. Their owners would know this better than any random stranger.
I have the same problems with our rescue dog from the SPCA
I have, raise, and train GS. They are not stranger friendly or pettable (Crap is that a word)....until I tell them to be nice and to love. Then you may approach them and pet them. Till then, they view you as a threat...to me....and behave appropriately. Ask yourself would you walk up to a police officer and his Fur Partner and ask to pet it if they are on patrol. Of course not. Show some brains. Also, this is why some people should not be allowed to breed.
Totally agree with you. There would be so much less of worldwide population if these idiots couldn't breed.
I agree with you. I've got a small rescue dog which is really afraid of people he doesn't know. As he is small some people think it's OK to lift him and "toss" him, or pretend they are taking him with them, but the poor dog panics. In the beginning I tried to be nice, but I got tired of it. People: if you see that a dog doesn't want to touched, DO NOT TOUCH HIM/HER.
Our current dog can be very snappy at people, stranger or people we know. It took her 3 years to accept one of my cousins. She have almost bit one child who ran up to pet her on the head after she had been treated for an infection in the jaw muscle. We are doing our best to train her but so many people dont help.
How sad! My 14 year old never liked kids, not even as a pup. She is blind now, so even when WE approach her, she gets startled sometimes. We let her smell us and say her name so she knows its us. Strangers definetely spook her.
I thought there was a thing where you put a yellow ribbon or something on your leash to say that people should not approach the dog. I guess that never took off. I agree with you 100 percent...the parents who just assume they can let their kids pet dogs would probably sue if a dog took a nip at the child. You story is so sad. As you say, the poor dog couldn't live her last days in piece at her favorite place. That makes me want to cry.
This is why I'm happy that my partner is not afraid to call people out on their bad behaviour. If someone comes up and tries to pet our older malamute who is going blind without asking he will tell them they are being rude and inconsiderate of our dog's feelings and they do not have a right to touch him without asking.
She shouldn't let that stop her.
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Surely the same applies to filming people.
I'd have whipped out my phone, too. It's called 'evidence', and surely there's no law about protecting yourself from people obviously too unscrupulous, that they walk up to mall security to report the issue. (whose proper response should have been to tactfully suggest idiot-mom should fuck off.)
Not really, but that is much more context dependent. There is no legal right established to touch "others" (people, pets, items) when out in public but there is for filming them. Or maybe prohibition/restriction is a more appropriate word, but it works the same in that none for filming in public but lots for touching "others".
My son (almost 3) looooves dogs and always wants to pet each one he sees. I always ask and if the answer is no, I tell him 'the doggy doesn't want to be petted and that's okay' and we move on. When we encouter a service dog however, I ALWAYS tell him 'we can't pet that doggy because it's busy working'. I really don't get why that is so hard for people to understand. Service dogs are not pets in the 'usual' sense, they have a very important job to do and it's just not okay to distract them. Unless the owner says it's okay of course ;-)
I agree with you. I was in a college class with a girl that was in a wheelchair. I shared the handicapped desk with her and would take notes for her. Her service dog would sit in between us. I was the only one allowed to pet the dog but only after class was over. Other students would pet the dog any dam time they wanted without asking the owner. Over the course of the class, you could see this girl was starting to lose control of the dog as it became more excitable when students came into class. I mentioned this to the professor who made an announcement to the class what was happening with the dog. He ended his announcement "And if I catch or hear of anyone petting that dog again, it will be an automatic failing grade for the class and you will be asked to leave." That made everyone keep their hands to themselves.
Thats awesome
Good one that professor!!
Excellent well done !!!
Thank you for explaining yourself so clearly. I have a new perspective on service Dog Handlers and their animals.
i think this is very important to know, I really didn't know what harm that could bring, but through your story, I could see the consequences of small seemingly harmless action can cause. It's much more serious than people think, most people (like me) just don't know about that and will ask to pet (or some ruder ones just go ahead and pet) the dogs.
This is the best story I have read for weeks. Go ahead, professor!
While it was certainly good by the Prof to do so it is kinda sad that it had to go that far before the other students got the message.
You are AWESOME!!! Best way to teach children about petting animals, especially service animals!! Thank you!!!
I agree with you too.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 Mentha!!
My son has a dog that he doesn't like to be petted by strangers, He says "no". I hope he meets her one day!
I actually agree with the mom. The handler should get a sign. A big wooden one that she can hit people on the head with when they try stuff like this idiot mother did
Your first sentence scared me a bit!
Me too!😂
Yes, me too. Then I read the rest of it. Some people are so stupid. What sort of example is that woman setting for her kid? That It's OK to behave like Trump?
Ditto!
I know me too. I was like how does this person not been downvo... then I keep reading.
Same! Glad to see there are still some rational folks left.
Me too!
You can't cure stupid...but you can whack it around with a 2x4!
The official term for such a tool is called a LART. Sometimes more colloquially referred to as a "Clue by 4"
LOL made me laugh, I needed that.
I don't think you could _bear_ the stupid outta that entitled BRAT!!! Some folks just need a little Pat on the head ....... with a SLEDGE HAMMER.
Excuse me but i had 5 guide dogs, they were there to help me, and people would interfere all the time, a person who is using a guide dog, or assistant animal has no reason to stop at every person and explain sometimes ppl are busy, plus I had a sign and people would pet my dog and read it then say... "OH me?????" @___@ Walk a mile in someone's shoes with a disability so you can understand... or try to. :o :(
Or a baseball bat...
Now, now, let's not resort to violence, she could simply carry cans of silly string or a water pistol for these idiots. Or how about something like this https://www.amazon.com/Forum-Novelties-Fart-Spray-Small-Colourful/dp/B002PEH6LK
..0r a camera! Ms Nasty seemed really not to like the Camera. Maybe afraid her rudeness would show up on the internet? like on Bored Panda maybe?
Your talking about a pet..so spray bottle with mustard water...lol
There was a sign. The Mom was in the wrong.
There was 4 signs - all over the service dog... as well as all the other service dogs.
No, you are not right, it's an invasion of the other person's life without being invited. She didn't even know she was talking with an autistic person, or the dog's owner also had to use a sign I'M AN AUTISTIC PERSON?
Unfortunately hitting her with the sign would be assault but might knock some sense into her! LOL! That child is probably going to be a nightmare!
Hahaha good one
LOL 😂🤣🤣
Mega oof.
Actually, I agree with Char-Char, your first line IS a bit unusual! I don't see a lot of thinking people agreeing with "her"!!! She doesn't even know how to carry a child, think she can read? Doesn't look like it! Maybe "NO" is to long! But, who knows, maybe a nice hard "WHAP"! would get her attention!!! Please people, the people behind the dogs are people, too! And as people they have the same rights, and deserve the same respect as you want! But for the Grace of God, you could be in their shoes, or wheelchair, too! Just be polite! Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!
for a second I thought you were siding with the roach!
I like the way you think. although, a sign might be a bit difficult to manage.
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She is just TOO MATURE to do this. So embarrassing 🙄
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If you are replying to the original poster on this, then read past the first 2 sentences. "A big wooden one that she can hit people on the head with when they try stuff like this idiot mother did"
Excuse me but i had 5 guide dogs, they were there to help me, and people would interfere all the time, a person who is using a guide dog, or assistant animal has no reason to stop at every person and explain sometimes ppl are busy, plus I had a sign and people would pet my dog and read it then say... "OH me?????" @___@ Walk a mile in someone's shoes with a disability so you can understand... or try to. :o :(
I think you are misunderstanding Leekun - they're on your side.
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For the first time ever, one of my comments has disappeared from Bored Panda. All I said was that the mother's side of the story was that she accepted a No and went on her way. But as she walked off, one of the group told her to F off. That was the rudeness she was replying to. Two sides to every story and so easy to judge when we hear only one.
Considering what was caught on camera I seriously doubt it since she clearly states that a simple "no" was not enough and she wanted a reason as well, just so the other one wouldn't be "rude". Add on that she didn't consider the patches as "signs" and wanted other bigger ones. Even if the ones with the dogs had said "F off" she could have taken the high road and just ignored them, but no she had to call them out on it and make a big stinking scene.
In my experience, people like this lie. I can't tell the number of times I've looked into one of my guard's behavior, where they were 'rude' and 'overbearing' and 'racist'/'sexist'/some-other-version-of-bigoted. Almost universally, not only did we find clear evidence the guard behaved beyond reproach... the complainant most certainly did not. I love sending the body-cam footage being like 'we take your complaints seriously, can but I'm not seeing it. here's your entire interaction with our officer, could you tell me where he was offensive?' Nothing sets them off quite the same. (and they don't quite realize that if we have body cameras...we probably keep emails and recordings from the phone.) Maybe one out ten complaints require me talking with the guard... and usually it's a friendly reminder to keep their calm.
I agree, the way she went off and the way she repeated about how they said "no" means no one told her to F off or we would have heard it over and over on the tape. She's just a nasty person who can't believe a lessor person would dare tell her little princes the "N" word.
Mine as well
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Yeah but then you’d get some kind of hogwash like “oh the sign assumed I’m a woman” oh something along those lines. Then you’d have a whole slew of sheeple acting like you just flashed the Jesus card at them.
Naw. nobody reads signage. Ever.
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You are so stupid. See the post and pictures. She has a perfect sign.... that she can smother the lady with. Did I get anyone there? Lol