“I’m Disgusted About How You Have Shamed Me”: Mom Confronts A Woman Who Questioned The Age Of Her Breastfed Kid
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends infants are exclusively breastfed for about the first 6 months with continued breastfeeding while introducing other foods for at least 1 year. And since 2018, it became legal to breastfeed in public in all 50 states, but that doesn’t mean that it no longer raises a brow or two in some places around the country.
It’s no secret that breastfeeding in public, just like other parenting choices and techniques, is a highly debatable practice where parents often collide. One such incident happened to a woman who spotted a mom in a park breastfeeding her kid who looked older, “probs 6/7.” The author of the post started questioning the child’s age as her talkative daughter was asking questions.
It all escalated to a boiling point when the mom made a real scene, accusing the family of “breastfeeding shaming.” Read the full story right below, and let us know your opinion on this delicate subject matter in the comment section!
Here is the full post about “breastfeeding shaming” drama that escalated in the park between two stranger women
Image credits: lolostock (not the actual photo)
Breastfeeding in public is legal and protected by federal and state law in all 50 states. Moreover, moms are allowed to nurse whenever their baby is hungry. This includes public spaces like parks, and private establishments like restaurants and stores. The exception is feeding in a moving car because the baby should be tied to a child safety seat.
According to What To Expect, federal legislation guarantees that nursing is always allowed on federal property. That means that the employer must also allow moms to nurse or pump during work breaks; day care centers must provide nursing facilities; and nursing mothers are exempt from jury duty in 17 states.
When it comes to breastfeeding on planes, you’ve probably heard numerous stories of moms being asked to cover up or stop breastfeeding while on a plane. Although most major airlines do indeed allow breastfeeding while on flight, it’s always best to check with each company’s regulations separately
.Also, check how your state protects your breastfeeding rights with state laws right here.
And this is what people had to comment on the incident
If you don't want people to judge you for feeding a 6-7 year old (WTF!), don't do it in public.
She sounds like the sort that actually wants people to comment so she can get indignant and start a fight, then go post to her Facebook echo chamber.
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NTA but just because a child looks 6, it doesn't mean they are. We've had this exchange a couple of times a few years ago regarding my son who was acting up a bit due to being tired. Nosey person: Why is your son acting like a 3 year old? Us: He is a 3 year old. NP: But he looks older Us: And? NP: He looks about 5 or 6 Us: He is 3 and probably tired. NP: Oh and walks away sheepishly
People can be bizarrely cruel to tall toddlers/preschoolers, not to mention kids with developmental disabilities. If you see a kid "not acting their age" just keep your comments to yourself. There is probably a good reason. Since he started to walk people have generally assumed my oldest son to be 1-3 years older than he really is. Nope, just tall. Strangers were not kind when he acted like a normal toddler, when he was a toddler.
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Correct. And, as a commentator wrote, "Game of thrones is not a parenting manual." Someone should tell that to the "offended" breastfeeding woman :D
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I'm pro breast-feeding, but 6 is a bit old to be still breastfeeding. I'm curious as to her reasoning to continue to this age.
The thing is, there's a number of possible reasons: - the kid is much younger, just tall for his age - the kid has some sort of developmental disorder and for whatever reason, his doctor is recommending prolonged nursing - the mother has some kind of cultural or philosophical reason for prolonged nursing - the mother is just having a really hard time letting go of the young-child period Since the reason is unknown, as long as the kid doesn't seem abused or neglected, the only possible option is for everyone else to mind their own business.
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It bothers me that the introduction says "highly debatable practice" and not "debated"
I think a better way to answer her kid’s “why” question would’ve been “different families make different choices.” I have used this many times over the years snd it applies in all sorts of situations and avoids passing judgement
my mom says “cada hogar es un mundo” (every home is a diff world, roughly translated)
Load More Replies... Yeah this story is a little fishy. 1) I doubt the the kid in question was actually 6-7, probably more like a tall 3-4. 2) Tone matters. This sounds perfectly reasonable if she was just strait forwardly answering her daughters question. But if she was speaking so that the other mom could clearly here and doing it in a tone that makes her disapproval clear, then yeah she's being very rude. 3) Modern idea of how long babies "should" breastfeed are based on formula marketing of the mid 20th century, not science. Biologically normal breastfeeding is a much large range than most people realize. https://www.health-e-learning.com/articles/A_Natural_Age_of_Weaning.pdf
I think the actual breastfeeding is not really to be debated. It is very uncommon in the so-called Western world to still breastfeed toddlers, but biologically it is fine to do so. To my knowledge, in time of scarcity of food children in the history of mankind have wenn breastfeed for prolonged times, whereas in times of good food supply they would be weaned off (or wean themselves off) earlier. The question is whether the explanation from the mother to the child was fine...and if it happened as described here, it sounds sensitive to me. There was no shaming, and with all respect, it is ok to tell your children that you do not know why people do something if you, well, do not comprehend it. She did not condemn breastfeeding or the "booby" being out. The fact that she was insulted (being accused of not caring for your childen's wellbeing is imho the worst insult a parent can get) justifies a harsh reaction, although of course it would have been better withou the swearing.
I think she would have been an ao if she went to speak direktly to her or if at the question "why do they do that" she would have answered with some nasty judgments. Like it was described she remained nutreal and just answered her kids question. Children are curious, it's how they learn and there's nothing wrong on asking question.
Not your child, not your problem. It is common to breastfeed children even 7 years old in different cultures than West. She didn't do anything wrong. But commenting it and explaing to child is also nothing wrong so I don't know why she was mad. Child asked about situation, and was given answer and that's all.
I don’t trust a story from someone who throws insults and Immediately jumps in the car so her husband can immediately speed off in a parking lot where she literally just said a child was standing unattended. Anyway this is a big ol case of y’all minding people’s business that ain’t yalls to mind. You don’t want to breast fed a child past a certain age. Good for you. Y’all don’t even have the child’s actual age let alone reasons as to why she could still be feeding him. America does not have the final say so on what other ppl do. We are one of the only countries that DO NOT breast feed our kids till the age of five. If the kid at the park was 6 and he sucked a tit for food, nothing happens to YOU. Y’all really seem to forget that when y’all throw those baseless opinions around.
What was the "insult thrown"? I just re -read the story...when did the mom insult her? The mom WAS minding her business, answering her small child's questions and had not said a word to the breast feeding mother. SHE is the one who decided to confront because SHE was listening to a conversation that SHE was not involved in nor invited to.
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The whole "booby milk" thing is crazy. All milk comes from some form of breast. This feels again like shaming women for having breasts and breast feeding whereas we don't think twice about drinking milk from "cow boobies". I think this would have been a great time to teach the kid to mind her own business. Also the intro is all about US laws when the language choices from "mummy" with a u to "wind your neck in" indicate the poster is British, so US law is irrelevant.
There was no shaming her for breastfeeding. Her CHILD questioned mummy about feeding an older child, which she did not understand, it had nothing to do with the act of breastfeeding. Sure, this may have been a teachable moment about letting mummys do what they want, but that's also none of breastfeeder's business. Also, yeah, it says U.S. when probably Europe, but who cares? That has nothing to do with it
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remembering myself at young age, girls' questions were on the mild side... that's parenting done right - answer and distracts :D
I can't find it, but there's a baby blues comic strip where Wanda is feeding Wren, a nosy civilian asks if her kid is too old to be breast fed, and Wanda scares the person... props to anyone who can find it.
Why do I suspect the mother said all the things she claimed her daughter did? I mean, I would 'grimace' too if I saw a woman breastfeeding a big ass kid, but if my kid questioned it, I would say, 'dear, we'll talk about this at home.' Obviously, the OP's conversation was loud enough for the other mother to hear, and I don't think that was accidental.
No, breastfeeding at that age is WEIRD. They do not NEED it and this is more about her (the mother's) needs. I think someone needs to intervene and find out why she keeps doing this..
There is nothing wrong with it, in some cultures it is perfectly normal... to each their own. Saying they don't "need" doesn't really matter, kids don't "need" to play on slides, but that doesn't mean there is something wrong with it. Sure a kid doesn't "need" to breast feed at that age, but there are some health benefits... so whatever. That being said, based on the story, it sounds like the woman was looking for a fight.
Load More Replies... Personal thoughts about breast-feeding at that age aside, the OP merely answered her daughter‘s question. It‘d be an entirely different thing if she would have actively started a conversation with the woman and would have shamed her. But as it is, she tried to handle the situation as best as she could rather than just hushing her daughter as many parents probably would have done. Her reaction when the woman approached her was rude, of course, but totally understandable in that situation.
The first woman's daughter was the only one saying things that could be remotely taken as mean, and the woman was trying to steer her away from that. The second woman seems like an alt med mom based on the fact she called cake "toxic".
Nobody: Absolutely nobody: A woman breastfeeding her big-ass 6-year-old kid: Yes, I am breastfeeding my child! Yes, I am! Do you have problems with that, mate? Seriously, the OP just answered her kids' questions, she didn't shame her or anything.
i don't tell you how to raise your kid, you don't tell me how to raise my kid.
Breastfeeding a kid the age to be in kindergarten or first grade? That' seems like an attention grab. But regardless of why she's doing it, the other woman didn't do anything to shame her. She never said a word to her and just answered her daughter's questions in age appropriate ways. I would have told her to gtf away from me and go take care of the "nursing infant" she left alone in the parking lot.
If she wants to breastfeed a child that old, then she should do it in private not at a public park with little kids around. In my opinion, breastfeeding a child over one and a half is just plain strange!!!
As a climbing instructor, I was once shocked to see the 6 year old I was coaching run to his mother, take her boob out from her blouse and start nursing. She didn't bat an eyelash, but I shuddered internally. It felt just wrong to breastfeed a 6 year old. Why? They get plenty of nutrition, and this one was chunky! I mean, he was thirsty, and went to his mum to have a 'drink'! Why. Just why. Ok, have your special time with your child, but don't treat it like it's normal, cause it's really not. Ok for infants, but anything older than 3 years old is just... weird. Sorry, not sorry!
I have a 7 year old. The idea of breastfeeding him seems super weird to me. I fed both my kids until they were a year old. Then I switched to whole milk. I know some moms go longer, but I wasn't overly keen on it once they started getting teeth. Everyone should do what's best for them, but like it or not, there is a stigma attached to publicly breastfeeding a 7 year old in this country. I, personally, wouldn't want to put my child through that kind of scrutiny. Everything about this screams attention seeking mom rather than healthy choices for a child.
Did I miss something? She didn't say anything to the breastfeeding mother at all. She was minding her own business answering her kid's questions. If she'd said something to the breastfeeding mother I could see it being shamed, but that doesn't seem to be how the story has it happening.
I'm not looking to start a fight, just very curious & a tad concerned. Doesn't a growing 6/7 year old need a balanced diet of fruit, veggies, dairy, meat, & grains in order to develop properly? The way the mother calls smoothies, a drink generally seen as healthy, "toxic" leads me to believe she's attempting to replace all this kid's meals with breastmilk. Wouldn't the kid be malnourished? At this point I don't think it's just a different, albeit controversial, style of parenting. It could be borderline neglect/abuse if their diet isn't meeting their nutritional needs.
You can't feed even a 3 year old on what you produce. At most it is a supplement. I don't agree with it but it's mostly to supplement their immune system and continue mother / child bonding. Also it was more likely that they child was just a tall 4/5 year old .. if this story is even true
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WHO recommends breast-feeding to two years; three to five is within the range of "normal". And that's all I'll say on it.
Although I cringe a bit when I see a mother nursing an older child, I try to remember that I do not know the whole story, and it is none of my business. Me "judging" will not make anything better.
this is great!!! you’re entitled to ur own opinion but i love how u didn’t voice it :)
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Just be thankful you didn’t think to say (with the best intentions because there really are extra large children who are much larger than the average child) “well, honey, he’s just a big baby”. 😬
Here's the problem many of you are missing. When these mothers do it in public it makes it everyone else's business, especially when we have children that have to witness this!! Do what you want in private, but in public make them drink water or juice like a normal older kid does. Our young children do NOT need to see this!!!
NTA OP didn't really even acknowledge the breastfeeding mother that much, nor did she tell her daughter that breastfeeding was wrong or that breastfeeding a 6/7 yo was wrong. I'm unsure of the health benefits/drawbacks of continuing to breastfeed for that long, but OP is right. What matters the most is that that kid is being well taken care of and has a safe, loving home.
NTA (not the a-hole). 1. the woman breastfed in public. like WTF breastfeeding in public, they might as well just take off all their clothes. I mean, there are breastfeeding stations in a lot of places, and that child can just eat all his "meals" at home. 2. OP (the person who posted the post on reddit (i really don't know what it stands for)) just said that they didn't know why the woman was breastfeeding. That is not rude. For example, I don't know why so many people watch sports, personally i find it quite boring. Am I insulting half the population of the world by saying that?
NTA. The issue doesn't lie with breastfeeding a toddler because the kid could very well be younger. Just because the kid looks 6/7 doesn't mean that they actually are. Not to mention, breastfeeding a toddler is pretty normal in some cultures and shouldn't have a negative stigma around it because it also provides a ton of health benefits. The problem lies with that mother doing to you and calling you out on your parenting when you were just providing a teaching moment for your daughter.
That breast feeding lady needs therapy. She'll be the MIL who wears white to her sons wedding and insists on standing at the altar with him
My kids is 7, but he's the same size as a 3 year old I know. Maybe the woman telling the story was wrong about the age?
What kind of mother gets offended over the innocent questions of a child? People need thicker skin these days and stop getting offended over the most menial of things.
That kid (the breastfed 7 year old) is going to have serious attachment issues I hope mom is prepared for. It’s not natural or recommend to breastfeed a child beyond 3 years of age
Sorry, but even hunting gathering societies in Africa stop breastfeeding their kids when they turn 3. I'm just wondering what kind of psychological trauma the 6 year old will face later.
I don’t know, doing something like that seems a lot like posting something online. You’re going to be judged for it, whether or not you deserve to be. If you can’t handle people having opposing viewpoints don’t go into places that will have people with opposing viewpoints.
I would never want to tell a parent how to feed their child, it's their business and not mine. If she wants to feed a 7yo in public, fine by me. If the kid was 17 it might be different..... but we don't know this kid was actually 7, he might have been an older looking toddler. Don't assume ages, you might be wrong. She (the mother) may have felt uncomfortable and on show. We don't know why she was b/f still, but seems obvious that the kid wanted feeding right then. I know when I was b/f I was very anxious in public and very aware of other people. The OPs feelings were made known by the way she reacted with her husband. The mother didn't notice? Really? Ok if you say so. I think she could have been more positive with her daughter about b/f and why leave so suddenly? I think there is more to this story personally.
I agree with you in that there's probably more to this story. The whole exchange of looks with her husband didn't sit right with me. And how can the OP be so sure the other mother didn't see that?
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I personally find it more interesting that so many people are always trying to tell other people what they should or shouldn't be doing. If my daughter asked why someone was breastfeeding a 6 yr old, I'd say, "I guess because she wants to. Now go play." Why all the drama over such meaningless crap? She wasn't hurting anyone else by her personal choices. If people are seriously getting their panties all in a bunch over stuff like this, then we aren't even going to be able to breathe right in public one of these days without pissing someone off.
But the mother did pretty much exactly what you suggested? She said she doesn’t know the reason and then tried to distract her daughter.
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It's none of anyone's business how other parents raise their kids. My dentist told me that kids who were breastfed for at least a year had much healthier mouth structures than kids who were bottle-fed or minimally breastfed. Of course in American culture (I assume this was in America) it's usually not acceptable to take your boobs, butt, or balls out in public, and I can see why the parent and little girl were a little confused and weirded out by this scenario. Confronting the nursing mama was where they crossed a line. it really was none of their business and they could have left. they could've even started a conversation, and heard different perspectives. I've heard that in some cultures kids are nursed till they are like 5 - 7 and that's just normal and healthy. EDIT: Please, if you disagree, or have other thoughts, please reply or start a conversation here, don't just get offended because we may have differing opinions
But they didn't confront the mother, she was the one who decided to go off on them because OP didn't answer her daughter's question with some spiel about how breastfeeding is the most natural act in the world (which in itself is very judgemental because there are plenty of mothers who struggle to breastfeed and need to put their baby on a bottle to ensure they're healthy and getting fed.)
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"Game of thrones is not a parenting book" omg that was amazing. And 6/7 yo breast feeding like wtf is that about? once the kids have teeth or is 1.... maaayyyybe 2. but if they can drink out of a sippy cup, it's time to graduate to solids. that's just crazy.
I reckon they were both at fault. The lady shouldn’t have been so rude about how the other person dealt with it (personally I think she answered her daughter’s questions great) but I don’t think the person should have snapped back at her when she commented. I don’t know, really.
Honestly, I don't know who is the bad person here... on one side, I have never seen anything wrong with breastfeeding and it something that happened all the time but now some people have been watching a lot of western media and think it is awful... on the other hand, why did she need to approach another person talking s**t. (by the way, a 6/7 year old a few metres away from their parent is not negligence, or maybe that's also another cultural thing i don't understand)
It was a carpark. Easy for a kid not being watched to get hit by a car.
Load More Replies... God, mothers really are the worst of us. Just gag at everything in this story, from the breastfeeding mom to the tantrum the other woman threw about it to the judgment about cake and the literal foot stomping. Becoming a mother must cause some kind of fuçking brain damage.
Here's a good rule of thumb: anything that comes out of your body should be handled in private. Snot, sweat, poop, pee, vomit, menstrual blood, other blood, earwax, phlegm, breast milk, farts, blackheads, pimple popping, spit, whatever. It's all "natural". But not necessarily pleasant or courteous. I can well understand that this woman doesn't want to stop breastfeeding (god help her kid when he's 30 and brings a girlfriend home) but I wonder how he handles lunchtime at school. If they're old enough to climb on your lap and unhook your bra, they're old enough to eat solid food.
Taking this child's age out of the equation - I agree to all bar breastmilk. That is a child having a meal. Sexualising breasts has made prudes of people, in many cultures breasts are no more exciting than your arm.
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It's normal in many cultures to breastfeed that long. I wouldn't choose it, myself, but I'm curious - are you saying that hundred of other cultures around the world are disgusting and unacceptable?
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Women should be allowed to breast feed their children in public - it's the child's meal! Only in some cultures is the breast seen as a sexual part of the body. In many it's just a functional part that is used to provide nourishment. Being anti about it is prudish and old fashioned. The assumed age of the child is questionable as well, any child over 5 would be in school so 6 or 7 is extremely unlikely. Odd that this mother didn't work that one out. This was on a day she was not taking her children to pre-school so schools were open (pre-schools aren't a legal requirement). Even if the child being breastfed has special needs he would be in a school unless off sick for some reason and then why would they be out? Also one minute the child is standing unattended in a car park and then in a road... inconsistent to say the least.
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Do you have a child? A baby gets hungry all the time and shouldn't be locked in a basement for a year or longer for this reason. I have fed many times in public, it's becoming more and more normal in my country (Poland). You're on a playground and baby gets hungry? Should be fed immediately. You also eat in public, why not hide in a toilet with your sandwich? And this article seems very one-sided, kid could have been 2 or 3 and just look big. I know some toddlers looking twice their age. WHO recommends breastfeeding for AT LEAST 2 years. Breastfeeding in public is not wrong, what's wrong is hysteria around seeing a boob. While men's boobs on a beach are fine.
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So what was your friend supposed to do in this situation? And why are you so triggered by the sight of a boob? Was she supposed to stay home and not meet you instead? Because FYI, most newborns feed every 1-3 hours, so not a lot of time to leave the house in between then.
Load More Replies... There is absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding her 6yr old, and DEFINITELY not a "perversion". In fact, there is no evidence that it has any physiological or psychological negative effects of children, and in fact has positive effects. What's the crime here? None, nothing wrong. The ONLY problem with it is the stigma, and the fact that both mother and son may be shamed by their peers. Because of this, she might not want to do it so publicly. Do some research
Load More Replies... NOPE. Even newborns "ask", but I assume you mean verbally. Language development has nothing to do with nutritional or emotional breastfeeding needs. The WHO recomends a MIMIMUM of 2 years, well after a typical child starts speaking in a recognizable way.
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a small boy being breastfeed by his mom..... is sexual???? wtf did i just read???? please reconsider your opinion on this please this is the DUMBEST thing i’ve read in my life, dumber than trumps speeches and tweets... 🤦🏻♀️
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So, it's totally okay to confront the woman in front of her children? By your logic, it sounds like her son is going to turn into a confrontation a-hole that doesn't mind his own business and judges other people's parenting. Horsesh*t
Load More Replies... If you don't want people to judge you for feeding a 6-7 year old (WTF!), don't do it in public.
She sounds like the sort that actually wants people to comment so she can get indignant and start a fight, then go post to her Facebook echo chamber.
Load More Replies... NTA but just because a child looks 6, it doesn't mean they are. We've had this exchange a couple of times a few years ago regarding my son who was acting up a bit due to being tired. Nosey person: Why is your son acting like a 3 year old? Us: He is a 3 year old. NP: But he looks older Us: And? NP: He looks about 5 or 6 Us: He is 3 and probably tired. NP: Oh and walks away sheepishly
People can be bizarrely cruel to tall toddlers/preschoolers, not to mention kids with developmental disabilities. If you see a kid "not acting their age" just keep your comments to yourself. There is probably a good reason. Since he started to walk people have generally assumed my oldest son to be 1-3 years older than he really is. Nope, just tall. Strangers were not kind when he acted like a normal toddler, when he was a toddler.
Load More Replies... Correct. And, as a commentator wrote, "Game of thrones is not a parenting manual." Someone should tell that to the "offended" breastfeeding woman :D
Load More Replies... I'm pro breast-feeding, but 6 is a bit old to be still breastfeeding. I'm curious as to her reasoning to continue to this age.
The thing is, there's a number of possible reasons: - the kid is much younger, just tall for his age - the kid has some sort of developmental disorder and for whatever reason, his doctor is recommending prolonged nursing - the mother has some kind of cultural or philosophical reason for prolonged nursing - the mother is just having a really hard time letting go of the young-child period Since the reason is unknown, as long as the kid doesn't seem abused or neglected, the only possible option is for everyone else to mind their own business.
Load More Replies... It bothers me that the introduction says "highly debatable practice" and not "debated"
I think a better way to answer her kid’s “why” question would’ve been “different families make different choices.” I have used this many times over the years snd it applies in all sorts of situations and avoids passing judgement
my mom says “cada hogar es un mundo” (every home is a diff world, roughly translated)
Load More Replies... Yeah this story is a little fishy. 1) I doubt the the kid in question was actually 6-7, probably more like a tall 3-4. 2) Tone matters. This sounds perfectly reasonable if she was just strait forwardly answering her daughters question. But if she was speaking so that the other mom could clearly here and doing it in a tone that makes her disapproval clear, then yeah she's being very rude. 3) Modern idea of how long babies "should" breastfeed are based on formula marketing of the mid 20th century, not science. Biologically normal breastfeeding is a much large range than most people realize. https://www.health-e-learning.com/articles/A_Natural_Age_of_Weaning.pdf
I think the actual breastfeeding is not really to be debated. It is very uncommon in the so-called Western world to still breastfeed toddlers, but biologically it is fine to do so. To my knowledge, in time of scarcity of food children in the history of mankind have wenn breastfeed for prolonged times, whereas in times of good food supply they would be weaned off (or wean themselves off) earlier. The question is whether the explanation from the mother to the child was fine...and if it happened as described here, it sounds sensitive to me. There was no shaming, and with all respect, it is ok to tell your children that you do not know why people do something if you, well, do not comprehend it. She did not condemn breastfeeding or the "booby" being out. The fact that she was insulted (being accused of not caring for your childen's wellbeing is imho the worst insult a parent can get) justifies a harsh reaction, although of course it would have been better withou the swearing.
I think she would have been an ao if she went to speak direktly to her or if at the question "why do they do that" she would have answered with some nasty judgments. Like it was described she remained nutreal and just answered her kids question. Children are curious, it's how they learn and there's nothing wrong on asking question.
Not your child, not your problem. It is common to breastfeed children even 7 years old in different cultures than West. She didn't do anything wrong. But commenting it and explaing to child is also nothing wrong so I don't know why she was mad. Child asked about situation, and was given answer and that's all.
I don’t trust a story from someone who throws insults and Immediately jumps in the car so her husband can immediately speed off in a parking lot where she literally just said a child was standing unattended. Anyway this is a big ol case of y’all minding people’s business that ain’t yalls to mind. You don’t want to breast fed a child past a certain age. Good for you. Y’all don’t even have the child’s actual age let alone reasons as to why she could still be feeding him. America does not have the final say so on what other ppl do. We are one of the only countries that DO NOT breast feed our kids till the age of five. If the kid at the park was 6 and he sucked a tit for food, nothing happens to YOU. Y’all really seem to forget that when y’all throw those baseless opinions around.
What was the "insult thrown"? I just re -read the story...when did the mom insult her? The mom WAS minding her business, answering her small child's questions and had not said a word to the breast feeding mother. SHE is the one who decided to confront because SHE was listening to a conversation that SHE was not involved in nor invited to.
Load More Replies... The whole "booby milk" thing is crazy. All milk comes from some form of breast. This feels again like shaming women for having breasts and breast feeding whereas we don't think twice about drinking milk from "cow boobies". I think this would have been a great time to teach the kid to mind her own business. Also the intro is all about US laws when the language choices from "mummy" with a u to "wind your neck in" indicate the poster is British, so US law is irrelevant.
There was no shaming her for breastfeeding. Her CHILD questioned mummy about feeding an older child, which she did not understand, it had nothing to do with the act of breastfeeding. Sure, this may have been a teachable moment about letting mummys do what they want, but that's also none of breastfeeder's business. Also, yeah, it says U.S. when probably Europe, but who cares? That has nothing to do with it
Load More Replies... remembering myself at young age, girls' questions were on the mild side... that's parenting done right - answer and distracts :D
I can't find it, but there's a baby blues comic strip where Wanda is feeding Wren, a nosy civilian asks if her kid is too old to be breast fed, and Wanda scares the person... props to anyone who can find it.
Why do I suspect the mother said all the things she claimed her daughter did? I mean, I would 'grimace' too if I saw a woman breastfeeding a big ass kid, but if my kid questioned it, I would say, 'dear, we'll talk about this at home.' Obviously, the OP's conversation was loud enough for the other mother to hear, and I don't think that was accidental.
No, breastfeeding at that age is WEIRD. They do not NEED it and this is more about her (the mother's) needs. I think someone needs to intervene and find out why she keeps doing this..
There is nothing wrong with it, in some cultures it is perfectly normal... to each their own. Saying they don't "need" doesn't really matter, kids don't "need" to play on slides, but that doesn't mean there is something wrong with it. Sure a kid doesn't "need" to breast feed at that age, but there are some health benefits... so whatever. That being said, based on the story, it sounds like the woman was looking for a fight.
Load More Replies... Personal thoughts about breast-feeding at that age aside, the OP merely answered her daughter‘s question. It‘d be an entirely different thing if she would have actively started a conversation with the woman and would have shamed her. But as it is, she tried to handle the situation as best as she could rather than just hushing her daughter as many parents probably would have done. Her reaction when the woman approached her was rude, of course, but totally understandable in that situation.
The first woman's daughter was the only one saying things that could be remotely taken as mean, and the woman was trying to steer her away from that. The second woman seems like an alt med mom based on the fact she called cake "toxic".
Nobody: Absolutely nobody: A woman breastfeeding her big-ass 6-year-old kid: Yes, I am breastfeeding my child! Yes, I am! Do you have problems with that, mate? Seriously, the OP just answered her kids' questions, she didn't shame her or anything.
i don't tell you how to raise your kid, you don't tell me how to raise my kid.
Breastfeeding a kid the age to be in kindergarten or first grade? That' seems like an attention grab. But regardless of why she's doing it, the other woman didn't do anything to shame her. She never said a word to her and just answered her daughter's questions in age appropriate ways. I would have told her to gtf away from me and go take care of the "nursing infant" she left alone in the parking lot.
If she wants to breastfeed a child that old, then she should do it in private not at a public park with little kids around. In my opinion, breastfeeding a child over one and a half is just plain strange!!!
As a climbing instructor, I was once shocked to see the 6 year old I was coaching run to his mother, take her boob out from her blouse and start nursing. She didn't bat an eyelash, but I shuddered internally. It felt just wrong to breastfeed a 6 year old. Why? They get plenty of nutrition, and this one was chunky! I mean, he was thirsty, and went to his mum to have a 'drink'! Why. Just why. Ok, have your special time with your child, but don't treat it like it's normal, cause it's really not. Ok for infants, but anything older than 3 years old is just... weird. Sorry, not sorry!
I have a 7 year old. The idea of breastfeeding him seems super weird to me. I fed both my kids until they were a year old. Then I switched to whole milk. I know some moms go longer, but I wasn't overly keen on it once they started getting teeth. Everyone should do what's best for them, but like it or not, there is a stigma attached to publicly breastfeeding a 7 year old in this country. I, personally, wouldn't want to put my child through that kind of scrutiny. Everything about this screams attention seeking mom rather than healthy choices for a child.
Did I miss something? She didn't say anything to the breastfeeding mother at all. She was minding her own business answering her kid's questions. If she'd said something to the breastfeeding mother I could see it being shamed, but that doesn't seem to be how the story has it happening.
I'm not looking to start a fight, just very curious & a tad concerned. Doesn't a growing 6/7 year old need a balanced diet of fruit, veggies, dairy, meat, & grains in order to develop properly? The way the mother calls smoothies, a drink generally seen as healthy, "toxic" leads me to believe she's attempting to replace all this kid's meals with breastmilk. Wouldn't the kid be malnourished? At this point I don't think it's just a different, albeit controversial, style of parenting. It could be borderline neglect/abuse if their diet isn't meeting their nutritional needs.
You can't feed even a 3 year old on what you produce. At most it is a supplement. I don't agree with it but it's mostly to supplement their immune system and continue mother / child bonding. Also it was more likely that they child was just a tall 4/5 year old .. if this story is even true
Load More Replies... WHO recommends breast-feeding to two years; three to five is within the range of "normal". And that's all I'll say on it.
Although I cringe a bit when I see a mother nursing an older child, I try to remember that I do not know the whole story, and it is none of my business. Me "judging" will not make anything better.
this is great!!! you’re entitled to ur own opinion but i love how u didn’t voice it :)
Load More Replies... Just be thankful you didn’t think to say (with the best intentions because there really are extra large children who are much larger than the average child) “well, honey, he’s just a big baby”. 😬
Here's the problem many of you are missing. When these mothers do it in public it makes it everyone else's business, especially when we have children that have to witness this!! Do what you want in private, but in public make them drink water or juice like a normal older kid does. Our young children do NOT need to see this!!!
NTA OP didn't really even acknowledge the breastfeeding mother that much, nor did she tell her daughter that breastfeeding was wrong or that breastfeeding a 6/7 yo was wrong. I'm unsure of the health benefits/drawbacks of continuing to breastfeed for that long, but OP is right. What matters the most is that that kid is being well taken care of and has a safe, loving home.
NTA (not the a-hole). 1. the woman breastfed in public. like WTF breastfeeding in public, they might as well just take off all their clothes. I mean, there are breastfeeding stations in a lot of places, and that child can just eat all his "meals" at home. 2. OP (the person who posted the post on reddit (i really don't know what it stands for)) just said that they didn't know why the woman was breastfeeding. That is not rude. For example, I don't know why so many people watch sports, personally i find it quite boring. Am I insulting half the population of the world by saying that?
NTA. The issue doesn't lie with breastfeeding a toddler because the kid could very well be younger. Just because the kid looks 6/7 doesn't mean that they actually are. Not to mention, breastfeeding a toddler is pretty normal in some cultures and shouldn't have a negative stigma around it because it also provides a ton of health benefits. The problem lies with that mother doing to you and calling you out on your parenting when you were just providing a teaching moment for your daughter.
That breast feeding lady needs therapy. She'll be the MIL who wears white to her sons wedding and insists on standing at the altar with him
My kids is 7, but he's the same size as a 3 year old I know. Maybe the woman telling the story was wrong about the age?
What kind of mother gets offended over the innocent questions of a child? People need thicker skin these days and stop getting offended over the most menial of things.
That kid (the breastfed 7 year old) is going to have serious attachment issues I hope mom is prepared for. It’s not natural or recommend to breastfeed a child beyond 3 years of age
Sorry, but even hunting gathering societies in Africa stop breastfeeding their kids when they turn 3. I'm just wondering what kind of psychological trauma the 6 year old will face later.
I don’t know, doing something like that seems a lot like posting something online. You’re going to be judged for it, whether or not you deserve to be. If you can’t handle people having opposing viewpoints don’t go into places that will have people with opposing viewpoints.
I would never want to tell a parent how to feed their child, it's their business and not mine. If she wants to feed a 7yo in public, fine by me. If the kid was 17 it might be different..... but we don't know this kid was actually 7, he might have been an older looking toddler. Don't assume ages, you might be wrong. She (the mother) may have felt uncomfortable and on show. We don't know why she was b/f still, but seems obvious that the kid wanted feeding right then. I know when I was b/f I was very anxious in public and very aware of other people. The OPs feelings were made known by the way she reacted with her husband. The mother didn't notice? Really? Ok if you say so. I think she could have been more positive with her daughter about b/f and why leave so suddenly? I think there is more to this story personally.
I agree with you in that there's probably more to this story. The whole exchange of looks with her husband didn't sit right with me. And how can the OP be so sure the other mother didn't see that?
Load More Replies... I personally find it more interesting that so many people are always trying to tell other people what they should or shouldn't be doing. If my daughter asked why someone was breastfeeding a 6 yr old, I'd say, "I guess because she wants to. Now go play." Why all the drama over such meaningless crap? She wasn't hurting anyone else by her personal choices. If people are seriously getting their panties all in a bunch over stuff like this, then we aren't even going to be able to breathe right in public one of these days without pissing someone off.
But the mother did pretty much exactly what you suggested? She said she doesn’t know the reason and then tried to distract her daughter.
Load More Replies... It's none of anyone's business how other parents raise their kids. My dentist told me that kids who were breastfed for at least a year had much healthier mouth structures than kids who were bottle-fed or minimally breastfed. Of course in American culture (I assume this was in America) it's usually not acceptable to take your boobs, butt, or balls out in public, and I can see why the parent and little girl were a little confused and weirded out by this scenario. Confronting the nursing mama was where they crossed a line. it really was none of their business and they could have left. they could've even started a conversation, and heard different perspectives. I've heard that in some cultures kids are nursed till they are like 5 - 7 and that's just normal and healthy. EDIT: Please, if you disagree, or have other thoughts, please reply or start a conversation here, don't just get offended because we may have differing opinions
But they didn't confront the mother, she was the one who decided to go off on them because OP didn't answer her daughter's question with some spiel about how breastfeeding is the most natural act in the world (which in itself is very judgemental because there are plenty of mothers who struggle to breastfeed and need to put their baby on a bottle to ensure they're healthy and getting fed.)
Load More Replies... "Game of thrones is not a parenting book" omg that was amazing. And 6/7 yo breast feeding like wtf is that about? once the kids have teeth or is 1.... maaayyyybe 2. but if they can drink out of a sippy cup, it's time to graduate to solids. that's just crazy.
I reckon they were both at fault. The lady shouldn’t have been so rude about how the other person dealt with it (personally I think she answered her daughter’s questions great) but I don’t think the person should have snapped back at her when she commented. I don’t know, really.
Honestly, I don't know who is the bad person here... on one side, I have never seen anything wrong with breastfeeding and it something that happened all the time but now some people have been watching a lot of western media and think it is awful... on the other hand, why did she need to approach another person talking s**t. (by the way, a 6/7 year old a few metres away from their parent is not negligence, or maybe that's also another cultural thing i don't understand)
It was a carpark. Easy for a kid not being watched to get hit by a car.
Load More Replies... God, mothers really are the worst of us. Just gag at everything in this story, from the breastfeeding mom to the tantrum the other woman threw about it to the judgment about cake and the literal foot stomping. Becoming a mother must cause some kind of fuçking brain damage.
Here's a good rule of thumb: anything that comes out of your body should be handled in private. Snot, sweat, poop, pee, vomit, menstrual blood, other blood, earwax, phlegm, breast milk, farts, blackheads, pimple popping, spit, whatever. It's all "natural". But not necessarily pleasant or courteous. I can well understand that this woman doesn't want to stop breastfeeding (god help her kid when he's 30 and brings a girlfriend home) but I wonder how he handles lunchtime at school. If they're old enough to climb on your lap and unhook your bra, they're old enough to eat solid food.
Taking this child's age out of the equation - I agree to all bar breastmilk. That is a child having a meal. Sexualising breasts has made prudes of people, in many cultures breasts are no more exciting than your arm.
Load More Replies... It's normal in many cultures to breastfeed that long. I wouldn't choose it, myself, but I'm curious - are you saying that hundred of other cultures around the world are disgusting and unacceptable?
Load More Replies... Women should be allowed to breast feed their children in public - it's the child's meal! Only in some cultures is the breast seen as a sexual part of the body. In many it's just a functional part that is used to provide nourishment. Being anti about it is prudish and old fashioned. The assumed age of the child is questionable as well, any child over 5 would be in school so 6 or 7 is extremely unlikely. Odd that this mother didn't work that one out. This was on a day she was not taking her children to pre-school so schools were open (pre-schools aren't a legal requirement). Even if the child being breastfed has special needs he would be in a school unless off sick for some reason and then why would they be out? Also one minute the child is standing unattended in a car park and then in a road... inconsistent to say the least.
Load More Replies... Do you have a child? A baby gets hungry all the time and shouldn't be locked in a basement for a year or longer for this reason. I have fed many times in public, it's becoming more and more normal in my country (Poland). You're on a playground and baby gets hungry? Should be fed immediately. You also eat in public, why not hide in a toilet with your sandwich? And this article seems very one-sided, kid could have been 2 or 3 and just look big. I know some toddlers looking twice their age. WHO recommends breastfeeding for AT LEAST 2 years. Breastfeeding in public is not wrong, what's wrong is hysteria around seeing a boob. While men's boobs on a beach are fine.
Load More Replies... So what was your friend supposed to do in this situation? And why are you so triggered by the sight of a boob? Was she supposed to stay home and not meet you instead? Because FYI, most newborns feed every 1-3 hours, so not a lot of time to leave the house in between then.
Load More Replies... There is absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding her 6yr old, and DEFINITELY not a "perversion". In fact, there is no evidence that it has any physiological or psychological negative effects of children, and in fact has positive effects. What's the crime here? None, nothing wrong. The ONLY problem with it is the stigma, and the fact that both mother and son may be shamed by their peers. Because of this, she might not want to do it so publicly. Do some research
Load More Replies... NOPE. Even newborns "ask", but I assume you mean verbally. Language development has nothing to do with nutritional or emotional breastfeeding needs. The WHO recomends a MIMIMUM of 2 years, well after a typical child starts speaking in a recognizable way.
Load More Replies... a small boy being breastfeed by his mom..... is sexual???? wtf did i just read???? please reconsider your opinion on this please this is the DUMBEST thing i’ve read in my life, dumber than trumps speeches and tweets... 🤦🏻♀️
Load More Replies... So, it's totally okay to confront the woman in front of her children? By your logic, it sounds like her son is going to turn into a confrontation a-hole that doesn't mind his own business and judges other people's parenting. Horsesh*t
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