Nicknames are an inherent part of our life as they arose in the history of mankind even before names. Moreover, the nickname reflects the essence of a person much better than one’s name – especially when it is given by other people.
There are also cases when a person utterly dislikes a nickname. Probably many of us have experienced this in school, but often, this situation continues into adulthood. In the end, it is a personal choice – to accept a nickname or not, to respond or not.
So, for example, a 28-year-old woman turned to the r/AmITheA-Hole community as one of her colleagues considered her to be one. As a matter of fact, because of a completely different person, which was quite annoying, by the way. Here is how things went.
More info: Reddit
A woman asked Reddit if she was wrong to not respond to an unpleasant nickname pushed upon her by her annoying colleague, who got herself in trouble for it
Image credits: RedCraig (not the actual photo)
The original poster is named after an obscure character from Greek mythology. The woman herself prefers a nickname based on the ending of her name, so that when she introduces herself she used to say: “I’m (my name), but you can call me (nickname).” Everything was fine until the boss’ niece joined the company where the OP works.
The company is owned by two partners, “Jeff” and “Dave”, with Dave usually running the business. Jeff’s niece, 25-year-old “Megan”, immediately told the OP that she would call her “Bessie” as soon as she was hired – firstly because the nickname is based on the first part of the original name, and secondly she liked it more.
Image credits: u/Office_Drama5686
Coworker told the OP that in her opinion the nickname she gave was more suitable
Image credits: u/Office_Drama5686
The OP told the new coworker that she was not going to respond to Bessie, but Megan objected that it sounded prettier that way, and that she just needed to get used to the new one. Over the next two months, OP regularly encountered attempts at calling her Bessie, but each time, she politely ignored these attempts.
Even on phone calls, Megan often used to to say “Please call Bessie” so the OP had to reply that there was no Bessie here. Megan also tried to get some of the employees outside the office to start calling her Bessie, but the OP quickly shut that down.
Image credits: Masa Israel Journey (not the actual photo)
One day Megan, sitting in an open office, once more started to call the OP an unpleasant nickname in a loud singsong voice – even despite other employees telling her to stop. True, one of the coworkers, 43-year-old “Lisa”, told the OP maybe it would be better to accept Bessie, just to calm Megan down.
Image credits: u/Office_Drama5686
One of the bosses warned the annoying colleague he might write her up
As a result, Megan suddenly distracted Dave from a conference call with an important client. He immediately threatened to write her up if this happened again. Later Megan cornered the OP in the break room and her accused of framing her, calling her Bessie once more. Dave, passing by, heard this and said: “I warned you!” Then he went to the HR and had Megan’s pay docked.
Image credits: u/Office_Drama5686
Another coworker told the OP she just shouldn’t take that personally
Image credits: u/Office_Drama5686
As a result, Lisa suddenly called OP an a-hole as Megan was fined because of her, and if she hadn’t fought so hard on the nickname, Megan probably would have given up. Lisa’s idea was the OP just shouldn’t take it personally.
However, Reddit users massively supported the OP, considering Megan to be an a-hole. According to the most popular comment, the OP set personal boundaries, and her colleague suffered for regularly breaking them.
People online supported the OP, saying she was right as she established a boundary
Some believe Megan was pushed into the role just by her family and Dave knew perfectly well that she was. Folks online also told the OP that she behaved absolutely correctly, being as polite as possible, while Lisa was also absolutely wrong, justifying an abusive behavior.
The strangest thing is that, according to the OP herself, which she expressed in one of the comments – she thought Megan was actually trying to be her friend, but one of the Redditors supposed that Megan had probably never had a friend, expecting a Barbie doll. “You said she’s 25 but I think she’s probably closer to 5,” one of the users stated.
Probably you have also faced similar situations, either in childhood or once already an adult. We hope they were not so weird, but in any case, we will greatly appreciate you sharing your own stories.
I have a name that isn't commonly shortened or changed to a nickname so I was shocked when someone shortened my name. I said "That's NOT my name and never call me that again". My tone of voice told them how serious I was and fortunately they got the hint and never called me it again. That's how it should be. Megan is an a*****e and so is Lisa. It's your name and you are the only one that can decide what you want to be called, no one else.
WAIT YOUR REAL NAME ISN'T FOXXY? *shocked pikachu face* 😉
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This irritated me so much just reading it. Grown adult acting like a schoolyard bully. My name is Kyndal (Real name) and people will say they can't pronounce it and call me Ken or Kenny and my least fave just "K". Had another kid call me Dolly for a week before I lost it and kicked him in the face. In Oklahoma, if it doesn't end in "-Lynn" they can't pronounce it. One of my cousins is name Jorge. Pronounced Hor-hay. The school changed his name to George and refused to call him by name. Another kid named Jesus, pronounced Hey-soos, was also renamed George. Very confusing. I refused to call either of them George. By the end there like 50 kids renamed George.
It doesn’t matter if you think the name sounds funny. You use peoples names the way they prefer. Like you I loathe lazy ignorant uneducated idiots that try to hide their inability at basic spelling with laziness.
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The fact that Megan pulled a sing song on OP only proves they were out to be a prick towards them. Lisa is a fence sitter who got on OP's case just because she was getting annoyed by both of them.
Lisa is a jerk who likely thought that "greasing the wheels" for a member of the bosses' family was her way to move up in the company.
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I cant help but think about this in a way that pisses me off to no end because it reminds me of when I work for a company use to be huge in TV satellite service in WV. I have a 3 syllable name and one older " southern lady would leave out the 1st syllable because it was more "american and was better for business" I had to go along with it to keep my position I was the only person of color in the office so I was called by a "slave" name the entirety of my tenure there. One day I had the audacity to wear my hair in braids and was told to go home until I came in presentable. I said ok I am going home and never went back. I was called non stop for 2 weeks asking me when will I be returning I would then reply I am still wearing my braids and I will be in when I take them out. I did not return to that position.
Good for you! What a horrible place to work when they can't even respect your name, let alone your choice of hairstyle!
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If you've ever wondered what it feels like for a trans person to get deadnamed and/or misgendered, just remember this story and how incredibly annoying that co-worker was about insisting on using the wrong name over and over again...
I'm Elizabeth and everyone wants to call me Liz, which I cannot stand. I chose the nickname Bettie, after Bettie Page and it works like a charm. There are some people who have known me long enough that I used to go by Liz and they still call me that and I'm ok with that. Usually someone like my eye doctor who does its, but I only see him once a year, so I don't care. I just grin and bear it. Any new acquaintance or co-worker who tries Liz gets corrected immediately. (And why does this trigger me so hard? I was sexually assaulted by a man who kept calling me Liiiiizzzzzzzzz during his abuse - insert shudder - and it now makes me nauseated.)
Calling someone a name that is disrespectful or mocking is a form of bullying.
Sometimes it’s ignorance, but ignorance just means being uninformed, so a person who is ignorant of certain things can learn about them, and most do. Stupid means being willfully uninformed and uninterested in learning, while being egotistical enough to think you know everything when you don’t know anything, which is when it becomes disrespect, mocking, and bullying. By real assholes.
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People that are insecure do this. They look down on others to make themselves feel better so they disrespect them by calling them names. Think trump everytime he called someone a made up moniker. It's absolutely low self esteem and insecurity that fuels this behavior. Secure people simply do not think this way.
I named my daughter Ava so no one could shorten her name. It was a big factor in naming her.
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My name is Bernadette (real name), and I cannot stand being called Bernie. I DESPISE IT. I will not answer to it. And most people immediately try to shorten my name. I prefer to be called Bernadette. OP did the right thing. Megan felt entitled to be annoying because she was a relative. Awesome of the boss to put her in her place.
Yes... I worked with a Pamela who detested "Pam" with a hot passion. Eventually, everyone learned that the only way to go was Pamela... and most of the staff were quick to correct newcomers if they tried to use Pam.
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I once had a boss who would mispronounce employee's names... especially anything that was unusual or ethnic. One of the people she was doing this too worked for me. I went to the boss, and said the name is pronounced XYZ... that is the only acceptable way to pronounce that name. Boss told me "it doesn't matter, it's close enough" and I said, so if I decide to pronounce your name Druboria instead of Debora, you'd be OK with that? She told me that was different. I had to eventually go to HR, and boss was written up, and suddenly, magically, learned how to pronounce names.
I work with kids, and I always tell them - "it's your name, and you have a right to be called by it" and "if you don't like being called a certain name, tell me." because it's their name, not yours. If they don't want to be called something, than that's their right. They don't have to respond to some stupid nickname someone gave them. I've said I don't like being called certain nicknames before, and if someone can't respect it, then I can't respect them.
The jerk in this story certainly picked a rather bizarre hill to die on. She doesn't want to be called Bessie like some kind of old dairy cow! Why can't you just drop it already? Sheesh. Thank goodness she got in trouble.
I wonder if her name is Basilissa. That's the only obscure Greek women's name that I could think of where you could turn the beginning of the name to Bessie (as a stretch) and the end of the name makes a pretty good nickname, Lissa.
Probably not. She states that "Bessie" was not the actual nickname the coworker was using.
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My name is Lynda. My coworker called me Margie. That's my mother's name and we weren't speaking at that time. She kept calling me that, saying it was a pet name.
It's another mean-spirited way to keep reminding someone of problems in their personal life.
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Wow so this girl Megan is obviously being a bully just because her uncle owns the company she thinks she's better . Totally did the right thing. Bullies need to be put in their place
Angelina, Angie is good but Angela is not for personal reasons. I shut people down right away if they try to call me that.
People try calling me Crissy and I hate it but they all tell me to "grow up". Or you could respect me and not call me something I hate?
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I have a customer always call my name wrong. I didn't care that much, but a workmate told her how to pronounce my name right and now she say it wrong on purpose. My Name comes with the letter "E", but she gives me a very long "I" and think shes funny.
I have only ever allowed two people in my life to use two different nicknames for me. Others have tried but would get told off.
I sometimes have the opposite "issue", though it doesn't happen often. My legal name is Lilly (only my friends call me Lukas because I'm only out to them), and sometimes adults will assume 'Lilly' is short for 'Lillian' and call me that instead.
I hope your transition goes well Lukas. Don't let the haters stop you from being you.
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I have a huge string of nicknames and an aquaintance who was already in middle school back when i was 8 would call me a name only my father can call me and she didn’t stop. It got to the point where i cried and she decided to stop it. Megan can go fuckherself with a 10 foot long rusy pole with barbed wire. (Got this insult from one of the Pandas here, i think it was September or someone like that)
I have a name like Catherine. I prefer to be called "Cath". I introduce myself as "Cath". I sign my communications as "Cath". If someone calls me Catherine, usually because they're not sure how I like to be addressed, I reply, "It's just Cath, thanks." I had a Megan. Cath♪er♫ine♪ could you...? ♪Cath♫er♪ine♫, how do you ...? Cath♪er♫ine♪ all the time. She'd introduce me as Catherine, and I'd correct her immediately with, "Please call me Cath. I can't tell you how much I hate being called Catherine." The new person would get it. Her response: "Oh I'm not going to call you that. It's ugly."
I have a friend named Catherine who goes by Cath, too, and tells people that don't respect it that Cath is short for Catholicism and she's really God in disguise. That usually shuts people up/confuses them, lol. ( edit: Cath is a really pretty nickname, I don't get why she'd say it was ugly)
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I don't understand the problem. The boss is on Op's side and already told Megan to stop. Lisa doesn't matter. Why does Op care further than that?
I'm fine with being called Mar as most of my dad's friends call me that, but don't you dare call me Marge.
My name is Dillon and in grade school through high school someone always inevitably discovered that dill pickles start with the same four letters as my name and wanted to call me that instead. I always said the same thing when they asked me if they could give me the nickname (looking like the were the genius who was the first person to ever think of it). I said they could call me whatever they wanted but I would only respond to Dillon. After a few minutes of being ignored they usually just got bored and called me by name instead. Sort of de-escalates the entire situation.
A person’s name, as well as their nickname preferences, should be respected. It. Is. Their. NAME. FFS!!! Same goes for the pronunciation. I work with the public, and try really hard to get people’s names right (I’ve even had some very pleased people tell me I’m the only one who pronounces their name correctly). If I get stuck, I just ask them how to say it so I get it right next time. It’s a sign of respect, and people really appreciate it. I well understand it too, because my maiden name was Eastern European and hard to spell and pronounce. I always knew where a teacher was during roll call because they’d say my first name then stop to figure out how to pronounce my last name. It got to where I’d pop up, pronounce it for them, then say “Here”. When I got married, I debated whether to keep my maiden name. I decided to keep it as my middle name and use my husband’s much easier to pronounce last name. However, even though it’s not an unusual last name, people seem to find new ways to f**k up its pronunciation too!
Yeah my name is Rowan ( as in row a boat ) and some mutual friends started calling me Ro ro. I hate it I hate it I HATE IT. I couldn’t stand it. My best friends and girlfriend are the ONLY ones aloud to call me anything but rowan. There’s also the fact that I live in Scotland so I get called rowan (as in ow my knee ) and I hate having to correct people a million times before they call me the right name. My favourite teachers from the very first day were the ones who said, is it rowan (my real name) or Rowan (ow my knee) they instantly got put high on the list of favourite teachers. Megan is a b***h and needs to grow the f**k up NTA OP
I'm surprised you got the ow as in ouch pronunciation because your name is very pretty and not that rare in Britain.
Load More Replies... I'm guessing Cassandra is her name. Goes by Sandra but doesn't respond to Cassie. I know a few with that name who can't stand the nickname either.
Cassandra is not an obscure name though. It sounded like a name no one has heard of.
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My friend' dad is from London, proper Cockney geezer, and he will always reduce your name to a letter. And if your name is already short, this man will find a way to shorten it even more XD
If it's the Greek mythological character I'm thinking of it's funny that this story could be loosely related to that character's story.
Which one are you thinking, I'm a Percy Jackson fan so my first thought was Ophiotaurus. But I'm pretty sure that's wrong
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I have a childhood nickname my brother gave me (he gives everyone their nicknames but our family nicknames are the worst. They're so dumb) and I liked it when I was younger but as I got older I just started to hate it because it always came with the connection to my brothers. I was always X's little sister... n that nickname proves that ppl only viewed me as X's little sister. One day I got so fed up with it n did the same thing. Just stopped responding to it. Then I'd start calling everyone by a worse version of their nicknames. Everyone started calling me my real name after that. If someone calls me by my nickname I just won't respond or I'll be like "who? I think you have the wrong person!" N make them feel dumb.
NTA i do the same with my name, you call me something other than what i said to call me, im ignoring you, same situation happened to me
Had a boss call me "Missy" because he called all the girls "Missy". Refused to answer to that name. Of course that didn't stop him. I filed a complaint to the CEO and quit. Also pointed out how he was banned from his project sites due to his behavior. He was sent for retraining (he called in "Charm School") and then transferred to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They also ended paying me severance pay and unemployment. This was in 1980.
Megan sounds like she's a bit off her rocker. I have a bit of an unusual name and never had a nickname, except for family. If someone suddenly started calling me something else, I would correct them one time, then they'd be ignored until they got it right. OP has superiority not some brat who thinks because relative owns business she can act like boss #2 (and like I said, I think her hamster has fallen off it's wheel).
It's all about respect for the other person as a human being...which Megan clearly does not have, and apparently neither does Lisa. If OP wanted to be called "Bessie" she would have introduced herself that way. I used to work with a young man whose real name was Kan. Everyone else who worked with him, when asking him to do something would say: "Can/Kan you do this task for me?" thinking they were being funny. I, instead, would ask: "Kan, would you please help me with this task?" He never said "no" to me, and it only took a week before the boss came around asking why. I told the boss the truth, as did the young man, and it wasn't long before nearly everyone else in the workplace was sent for sensitivity and diversity training.
My name is Michelle. You can call me Shell, or Mitch, or Mish, or Meesh - but Shelly is an absolute NO. I told my Grandmother REPEATEDLY that I did not like being called Shelly, so of course that's all she ever called me. She was an incredibly hateful b*tch & I ignored her each & every time. So much more ...
As you may guess, I was called Cathy all during childhood. Also, Katrina (dad), Cassandra (mom), Kate (friend), Kitten and Cat (ex husband). Met my now husband and he has called me Catherine for the last 36 years. I don't mind being asked, do you prefer Catherine or Cathy. But when I say, Catherine, I expect you to stick with that.
Just imagining an adult behaving like that in a workplace makes me cringe, what was next? I rendition of the name game song with our OP's name?
When I was 5 or 6, I had a friend announce that he wanted to be "Robert" now instead of "Robin" that we had always known him as. We all started calling him Robert. End of story, and I struggle with how anybody is so self-obsessed that something like this would present a problem for them.
Bessie makes me think of a cow. It's not a pretty name (assuming that's the name she was called and it's not a pseudonym.
Ok I really need to know the name. Because where Iive it is considered a livestock name. I know she said Bessie wasn't it but honestly I need to know if her name was was shortened to a disrespectful name or not because now I am hearing a coworker calling her a cow which should have been written up sooner
I worked with a Dave. I was over weight at the time and he would refer to me as “Big E”. I hated it. One day I started referring to him as “Little D”. That was the last day he referred to me as “Big E”
In boot camp, one of the DIs somehow had trouble with my 3 syllable maiden name. She would mangle it and slur it into something unrecognizable "Private Jurrrrnnnnn". I ignored it because that wasn't my name. Never got in trouble about it.
I'm a Frances who will never answer to "Fran". I'll politely correct you - one time. I've already told my children if I ever hear 'Granny Franny' even once, they are disinherited, dead to me, and there's no second chance.
Obviously NTA. This is straight up bullying. You want to be called your name and she's calling you something else out of spite. There's are a lot of issues right now with people wanting to be addressed a certain way, especially in the trans community and it's a struggle for them. There's a trans person just trying to get through the day and wants to be called Sarah instead of Joe and then there are people out there taking advantage of this who want to be referred to as MushroomCloud Stormday Queen of Earth or something, and it's just making it so hard for the people just looking for some basic respect. So now we have these types of people who won't even call you by your given name. And she's pushing the issue and it feels like there's a reason. My name is Jennifer and I hate when people call me Jenny. If someone was purposely doing that, I'd wonder why. I wonder if the OP is not white and maybe Megan is racist. It just seems like such a pointless disrespect otherwise.
The way my brain is wired I actually can't call someone by a nickname unless I am 100% sure that they want me to.
My given name is Deanna, but my nickname is Dee. I got this nickname from my grandmother because when you say my sister and my name we both come because usually all we hear is the end. Her name is Breanna. The only person that has shortened her name is our uncle. Anyway, most people call me Dee and I am cool with that. If someone called me something that I don't want to be called, I would confront them and if they still insisted on calling me whatever they want, I would ignore them. I don't care if they need my help or not.
When I started working for one company, the technical manager always got names wrong, not because he was being an AH just forgetful. It always made me laugh because I grew up next door to him and his family, he would even get so distracted he'd forget his wife/kids names.
Lisa: Let Meagan bully you so I won’t be inconvenienced or have to listen to her. You: No. you just need to say that Meagan did this to herself if anyone, including Meagan, tries to say you are TA.
Yea NTA. You have a clear f*****g boundary and shes just barreling into it trying to break it. Its YOUR name, I get it. I had friends in the past try and give me nicknames, "Nads" was tried too many times, and I always give the person the full extent of my RBF if its tried.
My name is Rachel, and typically it's shortened to Rache, which always sounds like wretch to me. At 14, I chose the nickname Rai for myself (like Ray, not the music!), and for the next 32 years that was what I was called. Except by my now very ex boyfriend, who refused to call me that due to his ex wife going off with a bloke with that name! Well, we both moved to my childhood area, and split up soon after. Almost everyone now pretty much calls me Rache (wretch) now and I absolutely hate it.....
I have a name that is reasonably short and unique that I like a lot and I will only respond to that. Only family and close friends are allowed to use a certain abbreviation. The other version was used by bullies when I was a kid so that one is right out. So I understand op completely.
My name has only recently become popular. As such, it's been routinely mistaken for a more common name. Everyone calls me the wrong name at some point. It became a joke. If you don't like something I did, just blame that b***h (wrong name). And then I got a new manager named (wrong name) and my coworkers for whom English was not a first language already knew the joke. It took some explaining that it had nothing to do with her.
Not a big deal for me as there is only one nickname I can possibly be called and have been with no issues ... I've been called Ishmael and Isaiah, but from people that I don't mind and don't realize until I tell them and they realize they were calling me by the wrong name ... however, this situation was clearly a bullying tactic ... Bessie is, most commonly, associated with the name of a cow and for whatever reason, very disrespectful to continue calling here that after it was made clear that it was unacceptable ... never mind that she was being disruptive on purpose with no consideration for the other co-workers and was warned to stop ... that other co-worker that told that she should accept is another a*****e aside from the one calling her Bessie ...
What sort of moron wastes their time reading and commenting on fake stories right?
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No your not the a*****e. BP why do you post these? No one actually cares. We all got bullied at one point even into adult hood. It's part of life. It's not right, but it's part of it. Where are the pet photos at?
You can't teach people 'no means no' and add some exceptions at will
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Your experience doesn't negate another's. It's not a competition and she wasn't lucky. You were just very unfortunate to have married a prick.
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I have a name that isn't commonly shortened or changed to a nickname so I was shocked when someone shortened my name. I said "That's NOT my name and never call me that again". My tone of voice told them how serious I was and fortunately they got the hint and never called me it again. That's how it should be. Megan is an a*****e and so is Lisa. It's your name and you are the only one that can decide what you want to be called, no one else.
WAIT YOUR REAL NAME ISN'T FOXXY? *shocked pikachu face* 😉
Load More Replies... This irritated me so much just reading it. Grown adult acting like a schoolyard bully. My name is Kyndal (Real name) and people will say they can't pronounce it and call me Ken or Kenny and my least fave just "K". Had another kid call me Dolly for a week before I lost it and kicked him in the face. In Oklahoma, if it doesn't end in "-Lynn" they can't pronounce it. One of my cousins is name Jorge. Pronounced Hor-hay. The school changed his name to George and refused to call him by name. Another kid named Jesus, pronounced Hey-soos, was also renamed George. Very confusing. I refused to call either of them George. By the end there like 50 kids renamed George.
It doesn’t matter if you think the name sounds funny. You use peoples names the way they prefer. Like you I loathe lazy ignorant uneducated idiots that try to hide their inability at basic spelling with laziness.
Load More Replies... The fact that Megan pulled a sing song on OP only proves they were out to be a prick towards them. Lisa is a fence sitter who got on OP's case just because she was getting annoyed by both of them.
Lisa is a jerk who likely thought that "greasing the wheels" for a member of the bosses' family was her way to move up in the company.
Load More Replies... I cant help but think about this in a way that pisses me off to no end because it reminds me of when I work for a company use to be huge in TV satellite service in WV. I have a 3 syllable name and one older " southern lady would leave out the 1st syllable because it was more "american and was better for business" I had to go along with it to keep my position I was the only person of color in the office so I was called by a "slave" name the entirety of my tenure there. One day I had the audacity to wear my hair in braids and was told to go home until I came in presentable. I said ok I am going home and never went back. I was called non stop for 2 weeks asking me when will I be returning I would then reply I am still wearing my braids and I will be in when I take them out. I did not return to that position.
Good for you! What a horrible place to work when they can't even respect your name, let alone your choice of hairstyle!
Load More Replies... If you've ever wondered what it feels like for a trans person to get deadnamed and/or misgendered, just remember this story and how incredibly annoying that co-worker was about insisting on using the wrong name over and over again...
I'm Elizabeth and everyone wants to call me Liz, which I cannot stand. I chose the nickname Bettie, after Bettie Page and it works like a charm. There are some people who have known me long enough that I used to go by Liz and they still call me that and I'm ok with that. Usually someone like my eye doctor who does its, but I only see him once a year, so I don't care. I just grin and bear it. Any new acquaintance or co-worker who tries Liz gets corrected immediately. (And why does this trigger me so hard? I was sexually assaulted by a man who kept calling me Liiiiizzzzzzzzz during his abuse - insert shudder - and it now makes me nauseated.)
Calling someone a name that is disrespectful or mocking is a form of bullying.
Sometimes it’s ignorance, but ignorance just means being uninformed, so a person who is ignorant of certain things can learn about them, and most do. Stupid means being willfully uninformed and uninterested in learning, while being egotistical enough to think you know everything when you don’t know anything, which is when it becomes disrespect, mocking, and bullying. By real assholes.
Load More Replies... People that are insecure do this. They look down on others to make themselves feel better so they disrespect them by calling them names. Think trump everytime he called someone a made up moniker. It's absolutely low self esteem and insecurity that fuels this behavior. Secure people simply do not think this way.
I named my daughter Ava so no one could shorten her name. It was a big factor in naming her.
Load More Replies... My name is Bernadette (real name), and I cannot stand being called Bernie. I DESPISE IT. I will not answer to it. And most people immediately try to shorten my name. I prefer to be called Bernadette. OP did the right thing. Megan felt entitled to be annoying because she was a relative. Awesome of the boss to put her in her place.
Yes... I worked with a Pamela who detested "Pam" with a hot passion. Eventually, everyone learned that the only way to go was Pamela... and most of the staff were quick to correct newcomers if they tried to use Pam.
Load More Replies... I once had a boss who would mispronounce employee's names... especially anything that was unusual or ethnic. One of the people she was doing this too worked for me. I went to the boss, and said the name is pronounced XYZ... that is the only acceptable way to pronounce that name. Boss told me "it doesn't matter, it's close enough" and I said, so if I decide to pronounce your name Druboria instead of Debora, you'd be OK with that? She told me that was different. I had to eventually go to HR, and boss was written up, and suddenly, magically, learned how to pronounce names.
I work with kids, and I always tell them - "it's your name, and you have a right to be called by it" and "if you don't like being called a certain name, tell me." because it's their name, not yours. If they don't want to be called something, than that's their right. They don't have to respond to some stupid nickname someone gave them. I've said I don't like being called certain nicknames before, and if someone can't respect it, then I can't respect them.
The jerk in this story certainly picked a rather bizarre hill to die on. She doesn't want to be called Bessie like some kind of old dairy cow! Why can't you just drop it already? Sheesh. Thank goodness she got in trouble.
I wonder if her name is Basilissa. That's the only obscure Greek women's name that I could think of where you could turn the beginning of the name to Bessie (as a stretch) and the end of the name makes a pretty good nickname, Lissa.
Probably not. She states that "Bessie" was not the actual nickname the coworker was using.
Load More Replies... My name is Lynda. My coworker called me Margie. That's my mother's name and we weren't speaking at that time. She kept calling me that, saying it was a pet name.
It's another mean-spirited way to keep reminding someone of problems in their personal life.
Load More Replies... Wow so this girl Megan is obviously being a bully just because her uncle owns the company she thinks she's better . Totally did the right thing. Bullies need to be put in their place
Angelina, Angie is good but Angela is not for personal reasons. I shut people down right away if they try to call me that.
People try calling me Crissy and I hate it but they all tell me to "grow up". Or you could respect me and not call me something I hate?
Load More Replies... I have a customer always call my name wrong. I didn't care that much, but a workmate told her how to pronounce my name right and now she say it wrong on purpose. My Name comes with the letter "E", but she gives me a very long "I" and think shes funny.
I have only ever allowed two people in my life to use two different nicknames for me. Others have tried but would get told off.
I sometimes have the opposite "issue", though it doesn't happen often. My legal name is Lilly (only my friends call me Lukas because I'm only out to them), and sometimes adults will assume 'Lilly' is short for 'Lillian' and call me that instead.
I hope your transition goes well Lukas. Don't let the haters stop you from being you.
Load More Replies... I have a huge string of nicknames and an aquaintance who was already in middle school back when i was 8 would call me a name only my father can call me and she didn’t stop. It got to the point where i cried and she decided to stop it. Megan can go fuckherself with a 10 foot long rusy pole with barbed wire. (Got this insult from one of the Pandas here, i think it was September or someone like that)
I have a name like Catherine. I prefer to be called "Cath". I introduce myself as "Cath". I sign my communications as "Cath". If someone calls me Catherine, usually because they're not sure how I like to be addressed, I reply, "It's just Cath, thanks." I had a Megan. Cath♪er♫ine♪ could you...? ♪Cath♫er♪ine♫, how do you ...? Cath♪er♫ine♪ all the time. She'd introduce me as Catherine, and I'd correct her immediately with, "Please call me Cath. I can't tell you how much I hate being called Catherine." The new person would get it. Her response: "Oh I'm not going to call you that. It's ugly."
I have a friend named Catherine who goes by Cath, too, and tells people that don't respect it that Cath is short for Catholicism and she's really God in disguise. That usually shuts people up/confuses them, lol. ( edit: Cath is a really pretty nickname, I don't get why she'd say it was ugly)
Load More Replies... I don't understand the problem. The boss is on Op's side and already told Megan to stop. Lisa doesn't matter. Why does Op care further than that?
I'm fine with being called Mar as most of my dad's friends call me that, but don't you dare call me Marge.
My name is Dillon and in grade school through high school someone always inevitably discovered that dill pickles start with the same four letters as my name and wanted to call me that instead. I always said the same thing when they asked me if they could give me the nickname (looking like the were the genius who was the first person to ever think of it). I said they could call me whatever they wanted but I would only respond to Dillon. After a few minutes of being ignored they usually just got bored and called me by name instead. Sort of de-escalates the entire situation.
A person’s name, as well as their nickname preferences, should be respected. It. Is. Their. NAME. FFS!!! Same goes for the pronunciation. I work with the public, and try really hard to get people’s names right (I’ve even had some very pleased people tell me I’m the only one who pronounces their name correctly). If I get stuck, I just ask them how to say it so I get it right next time. It’s a sign of respect, and people really appreciate it. I well understand it too, because my maiden name was Eastern European and hard to spell and pronounce. I always knew where a teacher was during roll call because they’d say my first name then stop to figure out how to pronounce my last name. It got to where I’d pop up, pronounce it for them, then say “Here”. When I got married, I debated whether to keep my maiden name. I decided to keep it as my middle name and use my husband’s much easier to pronounce last name. However, even though it’s not an unusual last name, people seem to find new ways to f**k up its pronunciation too!
Yeah my name is Rowan ( as in row a boat ) and some mutual friends started calling me Ro ro. I hate it I hate it I HATE IT. I couldn’t stand it. My best friends and girlfriend are the ONLY ones aloud to call me anything but rowan. There’s also the fact that I live in Scotland so I get called rowan (as in ow my knee ) and I hate having to correct people a million times before they call me the right name. My favourite teachers from the very first day were the ones who said, is it rowan (my real name) or Rowan (ow my knee) they instantly got put high on the list of favourite teachers. Megan is a b***h and needs to grow the f**k up NTA OP
I'm surprised you got the ow as in ouch pronunciation because your name is very pretty and not that rare in Britain.
Load More Replies... I'm guessing Cassandra is her name. Goes by Sandra but doesn't respond to Cassie. I know a few with that name who can't stand the nickname either.
Cassandra is not an obscure name though. It sounded like a name no one has heard of.
Load More Replies... My friend' dad is from London, proper Cockney geezer, and he will always reduce your name to a letter. And if your name is already short, this man will find a way to shorten it even more XD
If it's the Greek mythological character I'm thinking of it's funny that this story could be loosely related to that character's story.
Which one are you thinking, I'm a Percy Jackson fan so my first thought was Ophiotaurus. But I'm pretty sure that's wrong
Load More Replies... I have a childhood nickname my brother gave me (he gives everyone their nicknames but our family nicknames are the worst. They're so dumb) and I liked it when I was younger but as I got older I just started to hate it because it always came with the connection to my brothers. I was always X's little sister... n that nickname proves that ppl only viewed me as X's little sister. One day I got so fed up with it n did the same thing. Just stopped responding to it. Then I'd start calling everyone by a worse version of their nicknames. Everyone started calling me my real name after that. If someone calls me by my nickname I just won't respond or I'll be like "who? I think you have the wrong person!" N make them feel dumb.
NTA i do the same with my name, you call me something other than what i said to call me, im ignoring you, same situation happened to me
Had a boss call me "Missy" because he called all the girls "Missy". Refused to answer to that name. Of course that didn't stop him. I filed a complaint to the CEO and quit. Also pointed out how he was banned from his project sites due to his behavior. He was sent for retraining (he called in "Charm School") and then transferred to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They also ended paying me severance pay and unemployment. This was in 1980.
Megan sounds like she's a bit off her rocker. I have a bit of an unusual name and never had a nickname, except for family. If someone suddenly started calling me something else, I would correct them one time, then they'd be ignored until they got it right. OP has superiority not some brat who thinks because relative owns business she can act like boss #2 (and like I said, I think her hamster has fallen off it's wheel).
It's all about respect for the other person as a human being...which Megan clearly does not have, and apparently neither does Lisa. If OP wanted to be called "Bessie" she would have introduced herself that way. I used to work with a young man whose real name was Kan. Everyone else who worked with him, when asking him to do something would say: "Can/Kan you do this task for me?" thinking they were being funny. I, instead, would ask: "Kan, would you please help me with this task?" He never said "no" to me, and it only took a week before the boss came around asking why. I told the boss the truth, as did the young man, and it wasn't long before nearly everyone else in the workplace was sent for sensitivity and diversity training.
My name is Michelle. You can call me Shell, or Mitch, or Mish, or Meesh - but Shelly is an absolute NO. I told my Grandmother REPEATEDLY that I did not like being called Shelly, so of course that's all she ever called me. She was an incredibly hateful b*tch & I ignored her each & every time. So much more ...
As you may guess, I was called Cathy all during childhood. Also, Katrina (dad), Cassandra (mom), Kate (friend), Kitten and Cat (ex husband). Met my now husband and he has called me Catherine for the last 36 years. I don't mind being asked, do you prefer Catherine or Cathy. But when I say, Catherine, I expect you to stick with that.
Just imagining an adult behaving like that in a workplace makes me cringe, what was next? I rendition of the name game song with our OP's name?
When I was 5 or 6, I had a friend announce that he wanted to be "Robert" now instead of "Robin" that we had always known him as. We all started calling him Robert. End of story, and I struggle with how anybody is so self-obsessed that something like this would present a problem for them.
Bessie makes me think of a cow. It's not a pretty name (assuming that's the name she was called and it's not a pseudonym.
Ok I really need to know the name. Because where Iive it is considered a livestock name. I know she said Bessie wasn't it but honestly I need to know if her name was was shortened to a disrespectful name or not because now I am hearing a coworker calling her a cow which should have been written up sooner
I worked with a Dave. I was over weight at the time and he would refer to me as “Big E”. I hated it. One day I started referring to him as “Little D”. That was the last day he referred to me as “Big E”
In boot camp, one of the DIs somehow had trouble with my 3 syllable maiden name. She would mangle it and slur it into something unrecognizable "Private Jurrrrnnnnn". I ignored it because that wasn't my name. Never got in trouble about it.
I'm a Frances who will never answer to "Fran". I'll politely correct you - one time. I've already told my children if I ever hear 'Granny Franny' even once, they are disinherited, dead to me, and there's no second chance.
Obviously NTA. This is straight up bullying. You want to be called your name and she's calling you something else out of spite. There's are a lot of issues right now with people wanting to be addressed a certain way, especially in the trans community and it's a struggle for them. There's a trans person just trying to get through the day and wants to be called Sarah instead of Joe and then there are people out there taking advantage of this who want to be referred to as MushroomCloud Stormday Queen of Earth or something, and it's just making it so hard for the people just looking for some basic respect. So now we have these types of people who won't even call you by your given name. And she's pushing the issue and it feels like there's a reason. My name is Jennifer and I hate when people call me Jenny. If someone was purposely doing that, I'd wonder why. I wonder if the OP is not white and maybe Megan is racist. It just seems like such a pointless disrespect otherwise.
The way my brain is wired I actually can't call someone by a nickname unless I am 100% sure that they want me to.
My given name is Deanna, but my nickname is Dee. I got this nickname from my grandmother because when you say my sister and my name we both come because usually all we hear is the end. Her name is Breanna. The only person that has shortened her name is our uncle. Anyway, most people call me Dee and I am cool with that. If someone called me something that I don't want to be called, I would confront them and if they still insisted on calling me whatever they want, I would ignore them. I don't care if they need my help or not.
When I started working for one company, the technical manager always got names wrong, not because he was being an AH just forgetful. It always made me laugh because I grew up next door to him and his family, he would even get so distracted he'd forget his wife/kids names.
Lisa: Let Meagan bully you so I won’t be inconvenienced or have to listen to her. You: No. you just need to say that Meagan did this to herself if anyone, including Meagan, tries to say you are TA.
Yea NTA. You have a clear f*****g boundary and shes just barreling into it trying to break it. Its YOUR name, I get it. I had friends in the past try and give me nicknames, "Nads" was tried too many times, and I always give the person the full extent of my RBF if its tried.
My name is Rachel, and typically it's shortened to Rache, which always sounds like wretch to me. At 14, I chose the nickname Rai for myself (like Ray, not the music!), and for the next 32 years that was what I was called. Except by my now very ex boyfriend, who refused to call me that due to his ex wife going off with a bloke with that name! Well, we both moved to my childhood area, and split up soon after. Almost everyone now pretty much calls me Rache (wretch) now and I absolutely hate it.....
I have a name that is reasonably short and unique that I like a lot and I will only respond to that. Only family and close friends are allowed to use a certain abbreviation. The other version was used by bullies when I was a kid so that one is right out. So I understand op completely.
My name has only recently become popular. As such, it's been routinely mistaken for a more common name. Everyone calls me the wrong name at some point. It became a joke. If you don't like something I did, just blame that b***h (wrong name). And then I got a new manager named (wrong name) and my coworkers for whom English was not a first language already knew the joke. It took some explaining that it had nothing to do with her.
Not a big deal for me as there is only one nickname I can possibly be called and have been with no issues ... I've been called Ishmael and Isaiah, but from people that I don't mind and don't realize until I tell them and they realize they were calling me by the wrong name ... however, this situation was clearly a bullying tactic ... Bessie is, most commonly, associated with the name of a cow and for whatever reason, very disrespectful to continue calling here that after it was made clear that it was unacceptable ... never mind that she was being disruptive on purpose with no consideration for the other co-workers and was warned to stop ... that other co-worker that told that she should accept is another a*****e aside from the one calling her Bessie ...
What sort of moron wastes their time reading and commenting on fake stories right?
Load More Replies... No your not the a*****e. BP why do you post these? No one actually cares. We all got bullied at one point even into adult hood. It's part of life. It's not right, but it's part of it. Where are the pet photos at?
You can't teach people 'no means no' and add some exceptions at will
Load More Replies... Your experience doesn't negate another's. It's not a competition and she wasn't lucky. You were just very unfortunate to have married a prick.
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