Woman Doesn’t Tell Coworkers About Her Polyamorous Relationship, Gets Accused Of Cheating By One Of The Colleagues
There are two different opinions that people have about how they view their work. Some become really invested in their careers from an early age, very often knowing exactly what they want to achieve and how to do it. Such people like to associate their personality with work. But there are some individuals who would disagree with such beliefs. A lot of them think that work is there only for making sure that you’ll have enough of money to buy things you need, and that it doesn’t really define you. Because of this, some employees decide not to overshare details about their personal life in the workplace. At least that’s what one Reddit user, @Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo, decided to do. However, the woman decided to share how this decision had an impact on her work life and ask people online if she handled the situation in the best way possible.
More Info: Reddit
Some people don’t like to talk about their personal life with those who they work with
Image credits: Tinou Bao (not the actual photo)
The author of the post shared that she is a 32-year-old woman in a polyamorous relationship, meaning that she dates more than one person. The woman is in a 11-year relationship with her girlfriend Ruby and in a 10-year relationship with her boyfriend Louie. She revealed that the three of them date just one another and that works for them quite well. The author of the post also shared that she never talked about this situation at work because she didn’t see why she should.
A Reddit user decided to share why she had to reveal to her coworkers that she’s in a polyamorous relationship
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
The woman has a long-term boyfriend and girlfriend and she doesn’t talk about it at work
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
Her coworker saw her at the bar with her girlfriend and took a picture of them, later accusing her of cheating
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
Even though the woman had all the right to keep such personal information about herself outside the workplace, her coworker put her in a position where she had to talk about this. Once her colleague Ken saw her at a bar with her girlfriend Ruby and took a picture of them, thinking that she was cheating because he only knew about her boyfriend. He also shared the picture and his false assumptions with others, making them also question the woman. One day at work, while the author of the post was talking with her friend who recently found out that her boyfriend was cheating, she made a comment stating that she hates cheaters. This is when Ken and others started telling her that she is no better as he has proof of her being caught in the act of cheating.
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
After she was “confronted” and told everyone the truth, others became really frustrated with the situation
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
The woman then revealed that she was dating both Ruby and Louie. This brought a lot of confusion into the room, as people started arguing and trying to figure out the situation, while the woman started laughing at how absurd this situation was. This enraged the coworkers, but the author of the post took the time to explain how their relationship works and even called Ken a “stalker” because he had those pictures. The woman shared this story because she felt that she was wrong for laughing at this whole situation and not informing them that she’s in a poly relationship.
The woman shared this story because she wasn’t sure if she was right for not telling others that she’s in a poly relationship and was laughing at the situation
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
After people online read her story, the woman shared some more details about her coworker Ken who took pictures of her
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
After the discussion online, where people were questioning the situation and how the author should’ve handled the situation, she provided an update stating that there were more pictures taken of her by Ken that she didn’t know of. This was enough to prove that the man was stalking her, so he got fired, and she also had to get a restraining order against him. The poster is now waiting for a court date, so that this situation can be settled and forgotten.
The woman came back with an update revealing that there were more pics of her taken by her colleague Ken
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
As it turned out, the man was actually stalking her and because of this, he was fired
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
A lot of people online were interested in this story, at first trying to understand if the woman was really wrong for not disclosing her relationship status. This is when users online also made it clear that Ken’s actions were weird and inappropriate. What do you think about this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
The woman shared that now she’s at home resting, after being in touch with the police and getting a restraining order
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
The author of the post shared that she is now waiting for the court date and spending some time with her partners
Image credits: Moxxies_Thigh_Tattoo
People online became interested in the story and were among the first who noticed how weird her coworker was
Also, a lot of users agreed with the fact that her relationship is none of her coworkers’ business
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^This. Why would you even care about who your colleagues are dating?
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I've seen people write into advice columns, "I think my dad/friend/hairdresser/acquaintance is cheating on their SO. Should I tell the SO?" And the answer is usually, "It's up to you whether you feel more comfortable minding your own business or being honest about what you found." That makes me think perhaps the common response to finding out your coworker might be cheating is distress as you agonize over what would be the most helpful and correct thing to do for your coworker's partner's well being, NOT pulling a Ken and gossiping, stalking, and weaponizing the information! Wow! I could have understood Ken if was confused by what he saw, so he tracked down Louie to give him a heads up. Ken certainly wasn't obligated to get involved, but I think it's natural to try to help. If that had happened, I would have said nobody is the AH, no harm, laugh the wacky mix up off. Instead, Ken stirred the pot in a really weird, creepy, out of line way. Obviously he was the AH, and OP the victim.
If it's your dad cheating, it's up to you if you want to go down that path to discover if he is and you only. That's really the only exception.
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is not strange how everybody reacts. every time "cheating" comes into focus, most people denounce it and would do something to lets people know. out of cense of "righteousness"...but change their position very fast, like in this case...relationships are variated and you don't always have the right to meddle.
For any other 'Kens' out there...... here's what you do in that scenario.... you put whatever you saw into the back of your brain along with the recipe for scones and keep your nose out of other people's business. You don't take out your phone... you don't gossip .... you don't act like the big d**k at work cause you know something that the other don't....... you just keep it to your self because unless it's YOU, you never have the full story and it ain't your business to go out and find it.
A tenner it all started with creepy Ken asked her out and she said no!
Speculation, gossiping, and stalking aren't the way to handle a situation like that. Mind your own business, or privately confront the person, if you really feel that self righteous. Honestly, though, polyamory, swinging, and open relationships aren't that uncommon. I read something yesterday about "guys buying flowers openly for their wives and girlfriends" and everyone called them scumbags, and cheaters, but... You don't know that. Just mind your own business.
Who does this co-worker think he is, following you around and taking pictures? I call that stalking. It's absolutely none of his business who you date or what you do. You don't have to explain yourself to this person or anyone you don't want to.
This is another one of those things where people just make assumptions. I understand that poly and open relationships are still pretty rare compared to the standard mono stuff that most people are familiar with. If you see/hear something about a relationship that seems off to you, the first thing you have to ask is, is this any of my damned business? About 95% of the time, it's not, and so you should just move along. If you are concerned about someone you know, and you are already in a friendship with them where you speak about personal relationships, then you speak to THEM, nobody else. They may or may not choose to share with you any details, but your responsibility is finished at that point, regardless.
I've had coworkers and friends alike take me aside and awkwardly tell me they saw my gf cheating on me. I had to explain over a dozen times to as many people that the woman they saw was a roommate/close friend and NOT my gf and I was happy for her that she was seeing a nice person. As a butch lesbian, it was assumed any femme I was around was my gf. I had to be like, "look, I'm gay, and poly, and usually single. I do talk about my personal life with coworkers, so if y'all aren't hearing me actively gushing/gay panicking about a woman, I promise she's not my gf." I've even had people think my mom was my gf since we don't look alike at all. 🙄 Mostly I found it funny, so OP is NTA for laughing. My response usually too. Glad that creeper got ousted though, that sounds scary.
What the h**l? A nastier personality should look into Ken's life outside of work and find out what HE is doing!!! A lot juicier than your's for sure and the thought of that might dissuade any busy body from being busier. It's one reason I find gossip columnists such disagreeable characters and news people in general. If you're going to pry, be an open book yourself! Manipulation is unlovely, high or low.
Your colleagues behavior on finding out your in a polyamorous relationship makes a really good case for why you didn't tell them you're in a polyamorous relationship. And if you were cheating on Louie it's still not your coworkers business and even if the worst thing Ken did was take only that one picture of you cheating and he was actually being factual his behavior still would have been inappropriate.
Imagine having that much of a non-life that you make it your uninvited, unsolicited business to make yourself part of someone else's life. Ken is that same kind of guy in high school who always tried inviting himself over to parties ("I'll bring the chips!") if he was within earshot. Now Ken not only will ever be invited to a party, but now he has no career, a police record, and a limited path to gainful employment.
Why do you have to defend yourself. You clearly aren't hurting anyone and no one else is being hurt in your relationship. Your co-worker Ken is a creep. Ken and your co-workers are all blurring the lines of professionalism. Personally I would be going to HR to discuss this situation before it gets out of hand for you.
Sounds like he wanted her too and was jelly. I don’t understand why you’d go to al that trouble with stalking otherwise. Something like that happened to my mums wife when they first started hanging out and he tried to kill her (run her over at my 7th bday party 😆) because she rejected him and my mums were in love etc.
It's normal that someone might jump to the conclusion that you were cheating & even call you out on it casually when u appeared to be a total hippocrite.. but things definitely crossed into the red when he whips out pix & starts on a rant. That's psycho territory for sure. Things like this is why 2A must never go away!!
So I work in HR and we're not counsellors or Dr's, we're not bound to secrecy about anything - if we think an employee is in danger (or a danger to the company) we can and will raise the issue - we don't have to wait for an official report to do anything. I feel like this whole scenario maybe didn't really happen
Being an HR person you should definitely know that not all HR are them same. And another thing they didn't know she was in danger or that he was a danger and she also stated that when HR got ahold of the pictures things changed. Maybe learn to read and comprehend what you're reading first and then comment
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It's lasted longer than the average marriage in the US so far, so I'd stop making sweeping generalisations if I were you.
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If he'd tried to contact her partner that he thought was being cheated on then he might have been trying to protect someone. Gossiping about the OP behind their back wasn't trying to protect anyone it was just trying to cause trouble. The correct thing to do would have been to ask the OP.
Load More Replies... ^This. Why would you even care about who your colleagues are dating?
Load More Replies... I've seen people write into advice columns, "I think my dad/friend/hairdresser/acquaintance is cheating on their SO. Should I tell the SO?" And the answer is usually, "It's up to you whether you feel more comfortable minding your own business or being honest about what you found." That makes me think perhaps the common response to finding out your coworker might be cheating is distress as you agonize over what would be the most helpful and correct thing to do for your coworker's partner's well being, NOT pulling a Ken and gossiping, stalking, and weaponizing the information! Wow! I could have understood Ken if was confused by what he saw, so he tracked down Louie to give him a heads up. Ken certainly wasn't obligated to get involved, but I think it's natural to try to help. If that had happened, I would have said nobody is the AH, no harm, laugh the wacky mix up off. Instead, Ken stirred the pot in a really weird, creepy, out of line way. Obviously he was the AH, and OP the victim.
If it's your dad cheating, it's up to you if you want to go down that path to discover if he is and you only. That's really the only exception.
Load More Replies... is not strange how everybody reacts. every time "cheating" comes into focus, most people denounce it and would do something to lets people know. out of cense of "righteousness"...but change their position very fast, like in this case...relationships are variated and you don't always have the right to meddle.
For any other 'Kens' out there...... here's what you do in that scenario.... you put whatever you saw into the back of your brain along with the recipe for scones and keep your nose out of other people's business. You don't take out your phone... you don't gossip .... you don't act like the big d**k at work cause you know something that the other don't....... you just keep it to your self because unless it's YOU, you never have the full story and it ain't your business to go out and find it.
A tenner it all started with creepy Ken asked her out and she said no!
Speculation, gossiping, and stalking aren't the way to handle a situation like that. Mind your own business, or privately confront the person, if you really feel that self righteous. Honestly, though, polyamory, swinging, and open relationships aren't that uncommon. I read something yesterday about "guys buying flowers openly for their wives and girlfriends" and everyone called them scumbags, and cheaters, but... You don't know that. Just mind your own business.
Who does this co-worker think he is, following you around and taking pictures? I call that stalking. It's absolutely none of his business who you date or what you do. You don't have to explain yourself to this person or anyone you don't want to.
This is another one of those things where people just make assumptions. I understand that poly and open relationships are still pretty rare compared to the standard mono stuff that most people are familiar with. If you see/hear something about a relationship that seems off to you, the first thing you have to ask is, is this any of my damned business? About 95% of the time, it's not, and so you should just move along. If you are concerned about someone you know, and you are already in a friendship with them where you speak about personal relationships, then you speak to THEM, nobody else. They may or may not choose to share with you any details, but your responsibility is finished at that point, regardless.
I've had coworkers and friends alike take me aside and awkwardly tell me they saw my gf cheating on me. I had to explain over a dozen times to as many people that the woman they saw was a roommate/close friend and NOT my gf and I was happy for her that she was seeing a nice person. As a butch lesbian, it was assumed any femme I was around was my gf. I had to be like, "look, I'm gay, and poly, and usually single. I do talk about my personal life with coworkers, so if y'all aren't hearing me actively gushing/gay panicking about a woman, I promise she's not my gf." I've even had people think my mom was my gf since we don't look alike at all. 🙄 Mostly I found it funny, so OP is NTA for laughing. My response usually too. Glad that creeper got ousted though, that sounds scary.
What the h**l? A nastier personality should look into Ken's life outside of work and find out what HE is doing!!! A lot juicier than your's for sure and the thought of that might dissuade any busy body from being busier. It's one reason I find gossip columnists such disagreeable characters and news people in general. If you're going to pry, be an open book yourself! Manipulation is unlovely, high or low.
Your colleagues behavior on finding out your in a polyamorous relationship makes a really good case for why you didn't tell them you're in a polyamorous relationship. And if you were cheating on Louie it's still not your coworkers business and even if the worst thing Ken did was take only that one picture of you cheating and he was actually being factual his behavior still would have been inappropriate.
Imagine having that much of a non-life that you make it your uninvited, unsolicited business to make yourself part of someone else's life. Ken is that same kind of guy in high school who always tried inviting himself over to parties ("I'll bring the chips!") if he was within earshot. Now Ken not only will ever be invited to a party, but now he has no career, a police record, and a limited path to gainful employment.
Why do you have to defend yourself. You clearly aren't hurting anyone and no one else is being hurt in your relationship. Your co-worker Ken is a creep. Ken and your co-workers are all blurring the lines of professionalism. Personally I would be going to HR to discuss this situation before it gets out of hand for you.
Sounds like he wanted her too and was jelly. I don’t understand why you’d go to al that trouble with stalking otherwise. Something like that happened to my mums wife when they first started hanging out and he tried to kill her (run her over at my 7th bday party 😆) because she rejected him and my mums were in love etc.
It's normal that someone might jump to the conclusion that you were cheating & even call you out on it casually when u appeared to be a total hippocrite.. but things definitely crossed into the red when he whips out pix & starts on a rant. That's psycho territory for sure. Things like this is why 2A must never go away!!
So I work in HR and we're not counsellors or Dr's, we're not bound to secrecy about anything - if we think an employee is in danger (or a danger to the company) we can and will raise the issue - we don't have to wait for an official report to do anything. I feel like this whole scenario maybe didn't really happen
Being an HR person you should definitely know that not all HR are them same. And another thing they didn't know she was in danger or that he was a danger and she also stated that when HR got ahold of the pictures things changed. Maybe learn to read and comprehend what you're reading first and then comment
Load More Replies... It's lasted longer than the average marriage in the US so far, so I'd stop making sweeping generalisations if I were you.
Load More Replies... If he'd tried to contact her partner that he thought was being cheated on then he might have been trying to protect someone. Gossiping about the OP behind their back wasn't trying to protect anyone it was just trying to cause trouble. The correct thing to do would have been to ask the OP.
Load More Replies...
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