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User submission
Hey Pandas, AITA For Letting A Retired Vet Adopt My Boyfriend’s Dog After He Forgot About Her?
User SubmissionModerator’s note:
If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.
So I (25F) have been dating my boyfriend “Ryan” (32M) for almost 3 years. About a year into our relationship, Ryan adopted a golden retriever named Daisy. She was sweet, but he’s always been kind of… lazy about pet care. I ended up walking, feeding, and grooming her most of the time.
When we moved in together, he promised he’d “step up” as her owner. Spoiler: he didn’t.
RELATED:
Daisy became more my dog than his, but I didn’t mind – she was my baby
Image credits: Zach Shup (not the actual photo)
Then, last spring, Ryan got a new job out of town. He said it was just a temporary 3-month contract and he’d visit on weekends. He asked if I could “keep Daisy for him” during that time. Of course, I agreed.
Three months turned into six. He only visited twice, barely texted about Daisy, and stopped sending money for her food or vet bills. Meanwhile, Daisy developed allergies, and I was the one paying hundreds for medication.
When he finally came back, he acted like nothing happened. I tried to talk to him about splitting costs and responsibility, but he brushed it off – said he was “too busy catching up on life.”
A few weeks later, Daisy had an accident and tore her ACL
Image credits: Matt Seymour (not the actual photo)
Surgery was $2,000. I called Ryan, crying, and his response was literally, “She’s your problem now. You’re the one who cares so much.”
That was my breaking point.
I couldn’t afford surgery alone, so I posted on a local pet rescue page asking for help
Image credits: Immo Wegmann (not the actual photo)
Long story short, a retired vet offered to adopt Daisy, cover her medical care, and even let me visit sometimes. I cried but said yes.
A month later, Daisy was walking again, happy and healthy. Then Ryan came over and asked where she was. I told him the truth. He went ballistic – said I “gave away his dog without permission” and “stole from him.”
Now his friends are calling me cruel and heartless. My friends say I did the right thing, that Daisy’s better off. But I can’t shake the guilt – she technically was his dog, even if he neglected her.
So… AITA for rehoming my boyfriend’s dog after he abandoned her and refused to pay for her care?
Moderator’s note
Please be aware that the images used in this article are illustrative only and do not depict the actual people or events described.
If you’ve experienced something similar or have a story you’d like to share, we welcome submissions from our community, including anonymous ones. You can send your story directly to community@boredpanda.com to be shared anonymously, or upload it through our Bored Panda submission form by clicking here. We review community stories regularly, and some may be featured in upcoming posts.
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What do you think ?
july jewel 3 weeks ago
Did they ever break up or she still thinks they have a healthy relationship? Also, me as a dog mom, the doggie is better off with her new family in a stable environment.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 3 weeks ago
Why the f**k is he still your boyfriend? Rot in Hell, Ryan, you sack of s**t
Tabitha 3 weeks ago
Seriously. I gauge my opinion of people by how they treat others, especially animals and kids. I would have dumped this a*****e long ago—-and rescued the dog by taking her with me.
Load More Replies...
Sofia 3 weeks ago
you should have relocated the boyfriend instead the dog. The dog was the one that actually loved and cared you
V 3 weeks ago
She couldn't afford the vet care, she made the right choice. I mean, I guess technically she's the AH because it was technically his dog, but I would call it justified AH because it's the best result for the dog.
Load More Replies...
For Work 3 weeks ago
Not only did you do the right thing- but write your side of the story down in an email and send it to every shelter/dog rescue in towns/counties your boyfriend lives in/is near so no one will let him rescue another dog. He's an as s hat and bless that dude for adopting sweet Daisy. Block him and his friends- you don't have time for people like that.
The Starsong Princess 3 weeks ago
Your problem and you solved it in the best interests of the dog. Tell him to pound sand.
Shark Lady 3 weeks ago
BF for all intents and purposes abandoned Daisy, he stopped sending money for food, refused to pay the vet bills and told OP that it was up to them to take on all the care. It's unfair to both OP and Daisy to swan in and out of their lives and completely neglect his responsibilities. OP chose the perfect adopter for a dog with more medical needs than the average pet, you can't get better than a retired vet, who will not only have the experience needed but also have the time. Being the human of a dog is more than the just the fun bits and BF clearly doesn't have the lifestyle requirements needed
KieLeaHar 3 weeks ago
You’re SOOOOO close to being guilt free and 80+kilos lighter INSTANTLY.. by dumping your loser dipshít bf!! Because you deserve better. So much better. You did NOTHING wrong!
Sly Schlang 3 weeks ago
OP prioritized dogs well being. If it had been for the bf, the animal would have suffered and died. He should be paying, not complaining.
Load More Replies...
Vinnie 3 weeks ago (edited)
You did the right thing - you love Daisy enough to put her well-being first. Sounds like Ryan bought Daisy on impulse and quickly got bored. Just like many a 9-year-old who says "Mommy, I want a dog" and promises to care for it. And his friends think *YOU'RE* the heartless one???
Vinnie 3 weeks ago (edited)
I like dogs, but don't want to commit to one. I'm content to pet the local dogs (with owner's permission, of course - always ask first and don't disturb if they're busy). It's really nice when a shy dog gets a little less wary or a jumpy one settles down for a neck rub.
Load More Replies...
Tonyah Mcanelly 3 weeks ago
At least the dog was sent to a good home . You dont abandon a dog because it doesnt fit your lifestyle . Then come back when it suits you . Thats what the boyfriend did. I would hate to see him with kids
UncleJon_TheMadScientist 3 weeks ago
Reminds me how I lost my dog. Before I tell my story I agree she did what ws best for the dog. What happened to me was somewhat the opposite, I ws in the army and I ws given a cute little dog named bourbon. I lived off post and had neighbor kids helping take care of her. I got engaged and my fiancé's family volunteered to take care of her for me. Worked out good for bout 3 weeks then one weekend I came down there and bourbon was gone, they said they had to get rid of her because Sha keps leaving messes all over the house. Never mind the fact their miniature poodle and 2 cats were worse... I just let it go since the wedding was more important at the time. Now 40 years later (and 12 years after my divorce) I should hve seen the signs
july jewel 3 weeks ago
Did they ever break up or she still thinks they have a healthy relationship? Also, me as a dog mom, the doggie is better off with her new family in a stable environment.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 3 weeks ago
Why the f**k is he still your boyfriend? Rot in Hell, Ryan, you sack of s**t
Tabitha 3 weeks ago
Seriously. I gauge my opinion of people by how they treat others, especially animals and kids. I would have dumped this a*****e long ago—-and rescued the dog by taking her with me.
Load More Replies... Sofia 3 weeks ago
you should have relocated the boyfriend instead the dog. The dog was the one that actually loved and cared you
V 3 weeks ago
She couldn't afford the vet care, she made the right choice. I mean, I guess technically she's the AH because it was technically his dog, but I would call it justified AH because it's the best result for the dog.
Load More Replies... For Work 3 weeks ago
Not only did you do the right thing- but write your side of the story down in an email and send it to every shelter/dog rescue in towns/counties your boyfriend lives in/is near so no one will let him rescue another dog. He's an as s hat and bless that dude for adopting sweet Daisy. Block him and his friends- you don't have time for people like that.
The Starsong Princess 3 weeks ago
Your problem and you solved it in the best interests of the dog. Tell him to pound sand.
Shark Lady 3 weeks ago
BF for all intents and purposes abandoned Daisy, he stopped sending money for food, refused to pay the vet bills and told OP that it was up to them to take on all the care. It's unfair to both OP and Daisy to swan in and out of their lives and completely neglect his responsibilities. OP chose the perfect adopter for a dog with more medical needs than the average pet, you can't get better than a retired vet, who will not only have the experience needed but also have the time. Being the human of a dog is more than the just the fun bits and BF clearly doesn't have the lifestyle requirements needed
KieLeaHar 3 weeks ago
You’re SOOOOO close to being guilt free and 80+kilos lighter INSTANTLY.. by dumping your loser dipshít bf!! Because you deserve better. So much better. You did NOTHING wrong!
Sly Schlang 3 weeks ago
OP prioritized dogs well being. If it had been for the bf, the animal would have suffered and died. He should be paying, not complaining.
Load More Replies... Vinnie 3 weeks ago (edited)
You did the right thing - you love Daisy enough to put her well-being first. Sounds like Ryan bought Daisy on impulse and quickly got bored. Just like many a 9-year-old who says "Mommy, I want a dog" and promises to care for it. And his friends think *YOU'RE* the heartless one???
Vinnie 3 weeks ago (edited)
I like dogs, but don't want to commit to one. I'm content to pet the local dogs (with owner's permission, of course - always ask first and don't disturb if they're busy). It's really nice when a shy dog gets a little less wary or a jumpy one settles down for a neck rub.
Load More Replies... Tonyah Mcanelly 3 weeks ago
At least the dog was sent to a good home . You dont abandon a dog because it doesnt fit your lifestyle . Then come back when it suits you . Thats what the boyfriend did. I would hate to see him with kids
UncleJon_TheMadScientist 3 weeks ago
Reminds me how I lost my dog. Before I tell my story I agree she did what ws best for the dog. What happened to me was somewhat the opposite, I ws in the army and I ws given a cute little dog named bourbon. I lived off post and had neighbor kids helping take care of her. I got engaged and my fiancé's family volunteered to take care of her for me. Worked out good for bout 3 weeks then one weekend I came down there and bourbon was gone, they said they had to get rid of her because Sha keps leaving messes all over the house. Never mind the fact their miniature poodle and 2 cats were worse... I just let it go since the wedding was more important at the time. Now 40 years later (and 12 years after my divorce) I should hve seen the signs
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