Antivaxxer Mom Keeps Her Kids Malnourished, Goes Berserk When She Learns Her Niece Has Been Secretly Feeding Them
Every parent has the right to raise their kids their own way, right? Well, if they set unhealthy rules that lead to dire consequences, that should not be the case. While some may still say it’s not our place to dictate how moms and dads should do their job, Reddit user throwaway20030420 couldn’t just stand by and do nothing.
When her aunt, who is a “self-proclaimed hippie”, lost her job half a year ago, the 18-year-old was put in charge of looking after the little ones. Even though she obeyed the rules at first, the woman changed her opinion after witnessing how they affected her cousins: “They never had enough energy to do anything, didn’t want to run or play like most kids their age and just looked miserable in general.”
So she decided to take action. The woman secretly tweaked their diet and saw how the children started changing for the better. Everything seemed to go smoothly until one day, the aunt found out and completely lost it. But it turns out it was only the beginning of this whole family drama. Read on to find out how the story unfolded.
A woman recently turned to the AITA subreddit to ask whether she was wrong to go against her aunt’s rules while babysitting her cousins
Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)
The 18 Y.O. couldn’t stand seeing how the kids are deprived of food and medical assistance, so she decided to take action
After the post received a lot of attention, the woman shared more details about the situation
Later on, she added she was able to locate the kids’ dad
Image credits: throwaway20030420
To learn more about the challenges babysitters face and how to respond to them, we reached out to Bethany, a professional nanny based in the UK. “Caring for somebody else’s children is a huge privilege and responsibility. It becomes even more complex when caring for close family and friends, as this removes the professional barrier,” she told Bored Panda.
She explained that ultimately, nannies must respect their employers’ wishes. “If there are legitimate safeguarding concerns, these should be raised with the parents and, if appropriate, with your local safeguarding team.”
However, Bethany argued that in this particular situation, there are many complexities. “Firstly, the person was not employed or working under any contract — they were simply carrying out a favor for a family member. Secondly, the author does not appear to have any training or qualifications, hence they did not know how to manage the situation.”
According to the professional nanny, ideally, the author should have followed these steps:
- Notice issues, and collect evidence (photos, videos, observations, etc.)
- Have a professional conversation with the parents, presenting their observations and, where possible, sharing best practices, local guidelines, and legislation
- Notify the parent that you have a legal duty of care towards the children and their well being
- Should you have further concerns, you can contact the NSPCC or your local child protection services for advice
“Raising a safeguarding concern is an uncomfortable situation, however, it is the right thing to do,” Bethany said and added that it is still never a nanny’s place to make parenting decisions on behalf of or without consulting the parents.
People agreed the mother’s actions were extremely harmful, here’s what they had to say
Ellen Smith, a clinical associate professor and child welfare training coordinator at the University of Wisconsin, told Fatherly that Child Protective Services (CPS) “has the power to intervene in one of the most fundamental relationships that Americans have: the right for parents to make decisions about how to take care of their own children.”
Smith stated that calling CPS is necessary for some situations, and explained the top three reasons when to do it. The first one is physical abuse. “Does the child have signs of injury or do you believe there’s an imminent threat of violence?” Then, sexual abuse: “Have you seen certain behavioral signs, such as flinching or raising of hands in a defensive manner?”
The last reason is neglect. She suggested raising these questions: “Does the child live in an unlivable environment? Are they left alone for long periods of time without proper care?” When it comes to neglect, other signs to look out for are noticing whether the child has been harmed, if the person who is legally responsible failed to provide a minimal degree of care, and if that failure caused harm or impairment to the child.
The professor also stressed that while some behaviors can be misleading, they should still be reported. You see, it’s not a caller’s job to determine whether abuse or neglect occurred. Their main task is to provide observations and information to CPS that helps social workers. So whenever you believe there’s a legitimate reason (and solid evidence) to call CPS, do so, so the experts themselves can determine whether the child’s living conditions are severe enough to warrant intervention.
It absolutely qualifies as child neglect. This woman sounds as though she has several screws loose. Here's hoping the children get into a place where they're cared for and nurtured.
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Fat free no carb is not a healthy diet for kids. They need fat to develop brain tissue and they need carbs for energy and muscles. A severely restricted diet can cause more health issues than they solve. If she wants to eat and live that way...great. Save the kids while you can.
Fat free low carb isn't healthy for anyone. People need to get their energy from somewhere.
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She can live her life how she wants, but denying her children nourishment and healthcare they need is abuse.
No, she CANNOT live her life how SHE wants. That went OUT the door upon birth of the 1st child. You're 100% wrong. If you're going to have children, THEIR life becomes the biggest part of YOUR life. Full stop.
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This is horrifying. Nutrition is a big deal to me, because I have had unhealthy eating habits and used to be underweight, so this post hurts a little. I really hope it's fake, but it probably isn't. If I were in that situation I'd dump those friends who made OP think she might be the AH.
I assumed because OP is basically still a kid that's why her friends don't know what constitute abuse or not. (Sheltered) teenagers can seem like adults but really don't have the context needed to fully understand why it's abusive. I wish they did, but most teens are just not going to be taught that unless they escaped a bad situation at home. If someone explains to them why it is neglect/abuse, and they refuse to accept that from a reliable source (teacher or educational video, you know) then yeah maybe they are crappy people. My bet is that they just don't really get it because they haven't seen abuse up close and don't understand it. Hell, many adults don't even know it when they see it! It takes education.
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She clearly lives with her parents, so her parents can ground her if they want to. They shouldn't. They should be congratulating her and patting themselves on the back for raising such a great person. Although given the family reactions I'm beginning to wonder if grandma raised her,
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Those kids were abused, this young lady has done remarkably, and I can't help but wonder why only one person is supporting her...
WITAF are you "grounded"? First of all, you're 18. Second of all, you did NOTHING wrong insofar as you made those poor kids' lives better!!! WTF would your parents be on your whackadoodle aunt's side?!?!
Your parents don't want issues dealing with this woman. They have decided it is okay to ignore the children's issues because it makes life easier for them. You know the same information and are choosing to do the right thing. Be prepared for things to be blown apart when their dad shows up. Your aunt will continue to blame you and sadly, I think your parents will do the same. Be prepared. You can talk to CPS before reporting to get more information on what goes into their decision. Be aware that depriving them of food IS abuse. Maybe you could find pictures of what they looked like before you started feeding them. As an educator of 30 yrs I've seen many types of parenting and dealt with lots of crazy people pretending to be a good parent. I take exception with the person who said teachers have mandated reporting to child services. Teachers are often told NOT to report because admin doesn't want to deal with crazy parents, like your aunt.
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What the person in the last comment missed is that, by denying her children having any form of fat, she was preventing them from gaining proper nutrients from their food. Fat helps you absorb nutrients from your food. No wonder they were so malnourished. I think they might be able to test the kids' hair to see they were malnourished in the past? Or they could contact their teachers and ask them. Hopefully the courts will side with the dad and get those poor kids away from their mother. I also have to wonder how she thought denying the older kid from his glasses was going to help him? I guess she figured that not giving her kid glasses would make him not need them? Very confusing. I wouldn't call her a 'hippy', she's just straight up crazy.
I'm glad the father is going to fight for them. The boys eyesight can really affect his education. Denying them carbs is also abuse. She's clearly not a fit parent. She needs mental help if she thinks she is doing right by these kids. Definitely NYA!
Denying him fat is just as bad or worse. It's needed for proper brain and sexual development. Those kids could have permanent brain deficiencies due to this.
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Not only is the OP NTA, the kids need to be gotten away from the batshit crazy aunt's sphere of influence ASAP. And the aunt isn't a hippie. She's an idiot.
Yeah and the aunt should be put in jail for what she did.
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Why hasn't anyone called CPS that is neglect. Thank God they have a cousin who cares
Fat is needed to make brains grow. It is included in healthy macros. And denying glasses is abuse as well.
Looking at that list of restrictions, WTF CAN the poor kids eat???
Lean meat--but you can't live on that alone. Beyond that I'm sure there are things they're eating that the nutcase doesn't recognize contain carbohydrates.
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Malnourishment to this extent is abusive neglect. The court should see that, but it doesn't. I presume this is in the US, so depending on the state, there are legal actions fathes can take with securing good lawyers in cases like this. I hope it all turns out well. The mother in this case is obviously not fit for parenting.
I've met kids raised on this sort of "diet" and it's crap, total crap. The kidss were ALL hungry, skinny and miserable. My mom was really strict with my diet as a kid so I went nuts as soon as I moved out and gained too much weight. Parents; be normal about what your kids eat, keep it reasonably healthy but let them try other things on occasion.
I just want to know who the f grounded her? If it was her aunt’s sibling that’s just as messed up.
Denying glasses is horrible, i didn’t even know i needed them for one year untill my parents realised. I struggled with day to day life untill everything became 4k clear the moment i got glasses
Youve been those two children's guardian angel! Sorry only your grandma supported you. I hope you and the children have happy, enriched lives!
Approximately 8 hours ago, I read the same headline for this same article and the mother at first was titled "Hippie ", not "Anti-Vaxxer". Why the change?
I agree that what the aunt was doing was wrong and in this case the OP acted correctly for the most part. Under normal circumstances however, you shouldn't feed a child something a parent has asked you not to. Even if you are family, you may not know about allergies, or other medical issues that have special dietary requirements.
The "mother" in this case -- and I do use the term loosely -- plus anyone else who supported her side is in for a shock here. Not getting them vaccines is one thing. I know that the laws are very clear on what constitutes parental abuse, and she absolutely crossed that line. I hope the OP gets to educate her friends on the difference between recognizing that and "dictating" how parents raise their kids. Staying silent in this type of situation is not an option.
Oh, child, good for you. The fact that you paid enough attention to your cousins to notice those things already puts you far, far ahead of many people today. It speaks well of your future as a person. I understand why people are conflicted on whether you should have acted as you did, behind your aunt's back, but in the long run, you saw people in pain, and you acted. That's what the world is supposed to be like.
Since we need fat to absorb a lot of nturients that woman is crippling her children. They might have sever health issues as grown up due to undernourishment at a young age. CPS needs to be informed.
Child abuse is right. And damn straight batsh!t crazy. What the hell is wrong with these people? Human beings aren't herbivores. Hell even Chimps aren't herbivores. This is why it's important to stay in school instead of filling your brains with drivel you read off Facebook.
Can't believe such horrible people live among us. Cheers to OP for standing against her.
Bored Panda: Why would you contact a "nanny" for advice in this situation? She was not a "nanny." She's an 18-year-old RELATIVE dong this for free for her cousins. Apples and Oranges. Find a better "expert." To the OP; nobody can "ground" an 18 year-old - by law, you are an adult. Tell them to f**k right off.
Getting the dad involved is the best thing in the long term but in the short term, those kids need to be removed from her care as soon as possible. It's fantastic that such a young person as the OP had the courage to act as she did and she deserves a commendation.
Good god, the aunt is beyond bat-bleep insane. Thank goodness SOMEBODY in the family had some guts and common sense. There's a very good chance one or both kids would have ended up dead.
I really hope someone steps in and these kids get into a loving home . The glasses did it for me. That poor kid probably has headaches daily because he needs glasses. That's definetly neglect. The whole food issue baffles me. It's one thing to want your kids to eat healthy. It's another when they are borderline malnourished.. Kudos to the cousin for doing the right thing.
That 18yo was acting more like a mother than the kid's own mother. Healthy diets are fine within reason because children need so many nutritious ingredients to develop right as they grow. And not getting glasses for the 12yo was major neglect, that will make the eyesight worse as the eyes continually struggle to see and also lead to horrible headaches.
@Tom Hanlin What….the heck? Are you seriously comparing eating a sugary food to literal child abuse? Of course, Oreos are very unhealthy, but in this situation, I doubt the kids were eating them very often.
The OP (and a few commenters) must not live in the US. Because in the US there is never any need to gather evidence or witness statements in order to try to convince Child Protective Services to investigate suspected child abuse or neglect. They are required by law to investigate every report they receive and the caller can remain anonymous if they wish. For school age children this usually means they will be having a meeting with a surprise guest at school the next morning who will be asking them a lot of questions and recording everything they say with a tape recorder. The parent's permission is not necessary for this meeting to take place and in fact, the parent will not be notified by the school before or after it occurs.
What an emotional rollercoaster this read was, we’re so behind you OP! 👊👊👊
While I do get that many food and stuff have trash in it, you just can't just avoid everything as not enough resources remain to live from. And you should defenitely not force it on your kids
no SPICES? WTF. i'm all for natural food but the aunt is incredibly ignorant about the details. our bodies need good, healthy fats to use for energy, we need protein, and we need some carbs - not a ton, but some. kids, as long as they're not binging soda and candy, can pretty much eat whatever they want. this is abuse, and good on the cousin for taking care of these poor kids.
In case the OP (or anyone) has to make a CPS report... each state is a little different but the way it generally works is a report is made, and there is an initial investigation. At that point it can be screened out or accepted. If accepted, the parents have a certain amount of time to provide alternative care takers for the children. If they fail to do so, the children go into foster care. As far as evidence goes, my states agency (Department of Social Services) will refer a forensic interview with the children. This usually yields information needed to either have a finding (in this case most likely physical neglect) or unfound the case. Like I said, each state is a little different but hopefully this info will help someone if they are unfortunate enough to have CPS involvement
This is neglect. Please report to your local child welfare agency. You do not need any evidence. If you suspect abuse or neglect, make a report and the agency will investigate.
It's not true that mom always gets the kids, and obviously she couldn't afford a fancy lawyer either. Sorry but Dad should have tried much harder. Even if he didn't get full custody, he would still likely be able to make custodial decisions, and he would definitely get visitation, which she would have no right to withhold from him. He actually would be in better position by pointing out that she refused to vaccinate the kids, which he disagrees with. A stupid pot possession charge from over 10 years ago is meaningless.
sadly I have witnessed these type of craziness today.. Not as bad, but make me sad.. Some people is full of themself.. Only think that only they know what is good
How does one ground an 18 year old? That's an adult, and a more responsible one than the actual parent.
Yes, the Mother has unrealistic ideas. Feeding the kids properly is the caretakers duty. Providing the ability to see is also a right a child has. What would their mother do if one was diabetic or had asthma? Depriving them the right to see their father is messed up and he could have easily challenged that without a huge expense but he didn't so I don't believe the whole story. The dumbest part of the whole story is an 18 year old being grounded. Why did the 18 year old have all this free time on her hands? Apparently the OP does not have a job or attend school but had money to pay for an eye exam and glasses for an uninsured minor that she was not the legal guardian of? It's shocking that an Optometrist or Opthomologist would even see him without parental consent. So who knows.
Not saying the story is 100% true or not, but the "dumb" parts that you exposed can be easily explained: 1 - Just because she's 18, doesn't mean that she can't be grounded. If she lives with her parents, they can still ground her even if she's 18. 2 - Her free time could be explained by possibly being on school break or looking after the kids after school. 3 - In some countries, like my own, an eye exam is free. She could've also used her savings to buy the glasses. You don't need to be a legal guardian to buy glasses for a kid. We also don't know if she had a job at the time or previously. 4 - Also, in some countries, like my own, you don't need parental consent to take a kid to a doctor. Even less when it's an eye exam. That said, it's possible that this story is true. Or not.
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Why the hell do batshít crazy women procreate? How did he stay with her after even the first child was born just to bring in a 2nd mistreated kid?? You know that 12 year old was wrecked way before the age of 12, and way before the 2nd was even conceived. That's 7 years of red flags somehow missed during the 1st child.
Maybe she only lost her marbles somewhen after having the second one. I have seen people taking really unpredictable turns along the way...
Load More Replies... Unfortunately real life is not a Hollywood movie with a guaranteed happy ever after. OP was right to raise alarm but went over board by not getting CPS involved first, but instead deciding that the best way to go would be for the father to go to court and apply for sole custody - without even knowing him; a man who is estranged of the kids and may or may not be prepared to fulfill his role. Who obviously lives further away which would put the children in a situation in which they would loose all their current support system: OP and her family, known teachers and mates etc. I wish CPS will get a chance to really figure out what´s best for the kids - I mean the mother didn´t just neglect the children, she merrily has super crazy ideas, but maybe CPS can make her change her way here or there is an option where she looses custody or at least parts of it to be taken over by f.e. her mother/OPs parents or so...
Literally none of this happened tho. Ppl on Reddit lie about the most ridiculous s**t just for attention. I spend so much time on the AITA thread that I can spot these fake stories from a mile away. This is no doubt a made up story. Of course it's a throwaway account. Because if they used their real account we'd be able to see that none of this lines up with a single thing they've said in the past. Whenever there's stories like this… these "look I'm a hero" stories. and they're posted from a throwaway account 9/10x they're completely made up and OP is a serial offender and posts these ridiculous stories on many different subreddits… all of them making them out as a hero. There's times when u can actually tell that it's the same person posting back to back…. but posting completely different stories. Ppl don't realize the typos they make, the punctuation they do/don't use, phrases they use, spellings of things like "ya or yea or yeah" or using.. is like a fingerprint online.
They were a treat to share with her young friends on the playground.
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So she is feeding her kids 1940s food and you thought it smart to give them junk food? I have news for you - people were fitter and healthier in the 1940s. Yes, junk food does make you hyperactive, but this is NOT a healthy sign. What have actually described is a vegan diet. Is is healthy!! It contains fats and carbs - just not the bad fats and unhealthy levels of carbs that you decided to secretly give to the kids. Next, you contact an absent father who never wanted to be a part of their lives with a sob story because you didn't get your plan to get the kids obese and unhealthy to work out... Now you just tracked down the abusive ex father and told him her address. Oh, you don't know if he was abusive and if she is hiding out? Well.. you obviously asked if it was OK right? Nope , the mother is not the abuser here. She only wants what's best for her kids - not like the one who is interfering in other peoples business without any thought to what is good or right.
I like how you ignored the part where the kids were deprived of basic foods, were malnourished, and one of the kids was blind and forced to walk around without glasses because his mom thinks the glasses will cripple him
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She lost her job because of her refusal to take vaccines.
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The actual ratio is skewed because a lot of guys are like this one--they know they don't have a chance so they don't throw money away on a futile effort to get it.
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How can you tell? Is it because the 18-year-old seems too mature, intelligent and responsible for a contemporary teenager in a developed country? I don't blame you for being skeptical for that reason. I would have to remind myself of examples like Malala Yousafzai, Louis Braille, Alexander the Great, and the young scientists in the documentary "Science Fair". My own grandfather started working full-time in his early teens.
Load More Replies... It absolutely qualifies as child neglect. This woman sounds as though she has several screws loose. Here's hoping the children get into a place where they're cared for and nurtured.
Load More Replies... Fat free no carb is not a healthy diet for kids. They need fat to develop brain tissue and they need carbs for energy and muscles. A severely restricted diet can cause more health issues than they solve. If she wants to eat and live that way...great. Save the kids while you can.
Fat free low carb isn't healthy for anyone. People need to get their energy from somewhere.
Load More Replies... She can live her life how she wants, but denying her children nourishment and healthcare they need is abuse.
No, she CANNOT live her life how SHE wants. That went OUT the door upon birth of the 1st child. You're 100% wrong. If you're going to have children, THEIR life becomes the biggest part of YOUR life. Full stop.
Load More Replies... This is horrifying. Nutrition is a big deal to me, because I have had unhealthy eating habits and used to be underweight, so this post hurts a little. I really hope it's fake, but it probably isn't. If I were in that situation I'd dump those friends who made OP think she might be the AH.
I assumed because OP is basically still a kid that's why her friends don't know what constitute abuse or not. (Sheltered) teenagers can seem like adults but really don't have the context needed to fully understand why it's abusive. I wish they did, but most teens are just not going to be taught that unless they escaped a bad situation at home. If someone explains to them why it is neglect/abuse, and they refuse to accept that from a reliable source (teacher or educational video, you know) then yeah maybe they are crappy people. My bet is that they just don't really get it because they haven't seen abuse up close and don't understand it. Hell, many adults don't even know it when they see it! It takes education.
Load More Replies... She clearly lives with her parents, so her parents can ground her if they want to. They shouldn't. They should be congratulating her and patting themselves on the back for raising such a great person. Although given the family reactions I'm beginning to wonder if grandma raised her,
Load More Replies... Those kids were abused, this young lady has done remarkably, and I can't help but wonder why only one person is supporting her...
WITAF are you "grounded"? First of all, you're 18. Second of all, you did NOTHING wrong insofar as you made those poor kids' lives better!!! WTF would your parents be on your whackadoodle aunt's side?!?!
Your parents don't want issues dealing with this woman. They have decided it is okay to ignore the children's issues because it makes life easier for them. You know the same information and are choosing to do the right thing. Be prepared for things to be blown apart when their dad shows up. Your aunt will continue to blame you and sadly, I think your parents will do the same. Be prepared. You can talk to CPS before reporting to get more information on what goes into their decision. Be aware that depriving them of food IS abuse. Maybe you could find pictures of what they looked like before you started feeding them. As an educator of 30 yrs I've seen many types of parenting and dealt with lots of crazy people pretending to be a good parent. I take exception with the person who said teachers have mandated reporting to child services. Teachers are often told NOT to report because admin doesn't want to deal with crazy parents, like your aunt.
Load More Replies... What the person in the last comment missed is that, by denying her children having any form of fat, she was preventing them from gaining proper nutrients from their food. Fat helps you absorb nutrients from your food. No wonder they were so malnourished. I think they might be able to test the kids' hair to see they were malnourished in the past? Or they could contact their teachers and ask them. Hopefully the courts will side with the dad and get those poor kids away from their mother. I also have to wonder how she thought denying the older kid from his glasses was going to help him? I guess she figured that not giving her kid glasses would make him not need them? Very confusing. I wouldn't call her a 'hippy', she's just straight up crazy.
I'm glad the father is going to fight for them. The boys eyesight can really affect his education. Denying them carbs is also abuse. She's clearly not a fit parent. She needs mental help if she thinks she is doing right by these kids. Definitely NYA!
Denying him fat is just as bad or worse. It's needed for proper brain and sexual development. Those kids could have permanent brain deficiencies due to this.
Load More Replies... Not only is the OP NTA, the kids need to be gotten away from the batshit crazy aunt's sphere of influence ASAP. And the aunt isn't a hippie. She's an idiot.
Yeah and the aunt should be put in jail for what she did.
Load More Replies... Why hasn't anyone called CPS that is neglect. Thank God they have a cousin who cares
Fat is needed to make brains grow. It is included in healthy macros. And denying glasses is abuse as well.
Looking at that list of restrictions, WTF CAN the poor kids eat???
Lean meat--but you can't live on that alone. Beyond that I'm sure there are things they're eating that the nutcase doesn't recognize contain carbohydrates.
Load More Replies... Malnourishment to this extent is abusive neglect. The court should see that, but it doesn't. I presume this is in the US, so depending on the state, there are legal actions fathes can take with securing good lawyers in cases like this. I hope it all turns out well. The mother in this case is obviously not fit for parenting.
I've met kids raised on this sort of "diet" and it's crap, total crap. The kidss were ALL hungry, skinny and miserable. My mom was really strict with my diet as a kid so I went nuts as soon as I moved out and gained too much weight. Parents; be normal about what your kids eat, keep it reasonably healthy but let them try other things on occasion.
I just want to know who the f grounded her? If it was her aunt’s sibling that’s just as messed up.
Denying glasses is horrible, i didn’t even know i needed them for one year untill my parents realised. I struggled with day to day life untill everything became 4k clear the moment i got glasses
Youve been those two children's guardian angel! Sorry only your grandma supported you. I hope you and the children have happy, enriched lives!
Approximately 8 hours ago, I read the same headline for this same article and the mother at first was titled "Hippie ", not "Anti-Vaxxer". Why the change?
I agree that what the aunt was doing was wrong and in this case the OP acted correctly for the most part. Under normal circumstances however, you shouldn't feed a child something a parent has asked you not to. Even if you are family, you may not know about allergies, or other medical issues that have special dietary requirements.
The "mother" in this case -- and I do use the term loosely -- plus anyone else who supported her side is in for a shock here. Not getting them vaccines is one thing. I know that the laws are very clear on what constitutes parental abuse, and she absolutely crossed that line. I hope the OP gets to educate her friends on the difference between recognizing that and "dictating" how parents raise their kids. Staying silent in this type of situation is not an option.
Oh, child, good for you. The fact that you paid enough attention to your cousins to notice those things already puts you far, far ahead of many people today. It speaks well of your future as a person. I understand why people are conflicted on whether you should have acted as you did, behind your aunt's back, but in the long run, you saw people in pain, and you acted. That's what the world is supposed to be like.
Since we need fat to absorb a lot of nturients that woman is crippling her children. They might have sever health issues as grown up due to undernourishment at a young age. CPS needs to be informed.
Child abuse is right. And damn straight batsh!t crazy. What the hell is wrong with these people? Human beings aren't herbivores. Hell even Chimps aren't herbivores. This is why it's important to stay in school instead of filling your brains with drivel you read off Facebook.
Can't believe such horrible people live among us. Cheers to OP for standing against her.
Bored Panda: Why would you contact a "nanny" for advice in this situation? She was not a "nanny." She's an 18-year-old RELATIVE dong this for free for her cousins. Apples and Oranges. Find a better "expert." To the OP; nobody can "ground" an 18 year-old - by law, you are an adult. Tell them to f**k right off.
Getting the dad involved is the best thing in the long term but in the short term, those kids need to be removed from her care as soon as possible. It's fantastic that such a young person as the OP had the courage to act as she did and she deserves a commendation.
Good god, the aunt is beyond bat-bleep insane. Thank goodness SOMEBODY in the family had some guts and common sense. There's a very good chance one or both kids would have ended up dead.
I really hope someone steps in and these kids get into a loving home . The glasses did it for me. That poor kid probably has headaches daily because he needs glasses. That's definetly neglect. The whole food issue baffles me. It's one thing to want your kids to eat healthy. It's another when they are borderline malnourished.. Kudos to the cousin for doing the right thing.
That 18yo was acting more like a mother than the kid's own mother. Healthy diets are fine within reason because children need so many nutritious ingredients to develop right as they grow. And not getting glasses for the 12yo was major neglect, that will make the eyesight worse as the eyes continually struggle to see and also lead to horrible headaches.
@Tom Hanlin What….the heck? Are you seriously comparing eating a sugary food to literal child abuse? Of course, Oreos are very unhealthy, but in this situation, I doubt the kids were eating them very often.
The OP (and a few commenters) must not live in the US. Because in the US there is never any need to gather evidence or witness statements in order to try to convince Child Protective Services to investigate suspected child abuse or neglect. They are required by law to investigate every report they receive and the caller can remain anonymous if they wish. For school age children this usually means they will be having a meeting with a surprise guest at school the next morning who will be asking them a lot of questions and recording everything they say with a tape recorder. The parent's permission is not necessary for this meeting to take place and in fact, the parent will not be notified by the school before or after it occurs.
What an emotional rollercoaster this read was, we’re so behind you OP! 👊👊👊
While I do get that many food and stuff have trash in it, you just can't just avoid everything as not enough resources remain to live from. And you should defenitely not force it on your kids
no SPICES? WTF. i'm all for natural food but the aunt is incredibly ignorant about the details. our bodies need good, healthy fats to use for energy, we need protein, and we need some carbs - not a ton, but some. kids, as long as they're not binging soda and candy, can pretty much eat whatever they want. this is abuse, and good on the cousin for taking care of these poor kids.
In case the OP (or anyone) has to make a CPS report... each state is a little different but the way it generally works is a report is made, and there is an initial investigation. At that point it can be screened out or accepted. If accepted, the parents have a certain amount of time to provide alternative care takers for the children. If they fail to do so, the children go into foster care. As far as evidence goes, my states agency (Department of Social Services) will refer a forensic interview with the children. This usually yields information needed to either have a finding (in this case most likely physical neglect) or unfound the case. Like I said, each state is a little different but hopefully this info will help someone if they are unfortunate enough to have CPS involvement
This is neglect. Please report to your local child welfare agency. You do not need any evidence. If you suspect abuse or neglect, make a report and the agency will investigate.
It's not true that mom always gets the kids, and obviously she couldn't afford a fancy lawyer either. Sorry but Dad should have tried much harder. Even if he didn't get full custody, he would still likely be able to make custodial decisions, and he would definitely get visitation, which she would have no right to withhold from him. He actually would be in better position by pointing out that she refused to vaccinate the kids, which he disagrees with. A stupid pot possession charge from over 10 years ago is meaningless.
sadly I have witnessed these type of craziness today.. Not as bad, but make me sad.. Some people is full of themself.. Only think that only they know what is good
How does one ground an 18 year old? That's an adult, and a more responsible one than the actual parent.
Yes, the Mother has unrealistic ideas. Feeding the kids properly is the caretakers duty. Providing the ability to see is also a right a child has. What would their mother do if one was diabetic or had asthma? Depriving them the right to see their father is messed up and he could have easily challenged that without a huge expense but he didn't so I don't believe the whole story. The dumbest part of the whole story is an 18 year old being grounded. Why did the 18 year old have all this free time on her hands? Apparently the OP does not have a job or attend school but had money to pay for an eye exam and glasses for an uninsured minor that she was not the legal guardian of? It's shocking that an Optometrist or Opthomologist would even see him without parental consent. So who knows.
Not saying the story is 100% true or not, but the "dumb" parts that you exposed can be easily explained: 1 - Just because she's 18, doesn't mean that she can't be grounded. If she lives with her parents, they can still ground her even if she's 18. 2 - Her free time could be explained by possibly being on school break or looking after the kids after school. 3 - In some countries, like my own, an eye exam is free. She could've also used her savings to buy the glasses. You don't need to be a legal guardian to buy glasses for a kid. We also don't know if she had a job at the time or previously. 4 - Also, in some countries, like my own, you don't need parental consent to take a kid to a doctor. Even less when it's an eye exam. That said, it's possible that this story is true. Or not.
Load More Replies... Why the hell do batshít crazy women procreate? How did he stay with her after even the first child was born just to bring in a 2nd mistreated kid?? You know that 12 year old was wrecked way before the age of 12, and way before the 2nd was even conceived. That's 7 years of red flags somehow missed during the 1st child.
Maybe she only lost her marbles somewhen after having the second one. I have seen people taking really unpredictable turns along the way...
Load More Replies... Unfortunately real life is not a Hollywood movie with a guaranteed happy ever after. OP was right to raise alarm but went over board by not getting CPS involved first, but instead deciding that the best way to go would be for the father to go to court and apply for sole custody - without even knowing him; a man who is estranged of the kids and may or may not be prepared to fulfill his role. Who obviously lives further away which would put the children in a situation in which they would loose all their current support system: OP and her family, known teachers and mates etc. I wish CPS will get a chance to really figure out what´s best for the kids - I mean the mother didn´t just neglect the children, she merrily has super crazy ideas, but maybe CPS can make her change her way here or there is an option where she looses custody or at least parts of it to be taken over by f.e. her mother/OPs parents or so...
Literally none of this happened tho. Ppl on Reddit lie about the most ridiculous s**t just for attention. I spend so much time on the AITA thread that I can spot these fake stories from a mile away. This is no doubt a made up story. Of course it's a throwaway account. Because if they used their real account we'd be able to see that none of this lines up with a single thing they've said in the past. Whenever there's stories like this… these "look I'm a hero" stories. and they're posted from a throwaway account 9/10x they're completely made up and OP is a serial offender and posts these ridiculous stories on many different subreddits… all of them making them out as a hero. There's times when u can actually tell that it's the same person posting back to back…. but posting completely different stories. Ppl don't realize the typos they make, the punctuation they do/don't use, phrases they use, spellings of things like "ya or yea or yeah" or using.. is like a fingerprint online.
They were a treat to share with her young friends on the playground.
Load More Replies... So she is feeding her kids 1940s food and you thought it smart to give them junk food? I have news for you - people were fitter and healthier in the 1940s. Yes, junk food does make you hyperactive, but this is NOT a healthy sign. What have actually described is a vegan diet. Is is healthy!! It contains fats and carbs - just not the bad fats and unhealthy levels of carbs that you decided to secretly give to the kids. Next, you contact an absent father who never wanted to be a part of their lives with a sob story because you didn't get your plan to get the kids obese and unhealthy to work out... Now you just tracked down the abusive ex father and told him her address. Oh, you don't know if he was abusive and if she is hiding out? Well.. you obviously asked if it was OK right? Nope , the mother is not the abuser here. She only wants what's best for her kids - not like the one who is interfering in other peoples business without any thought to what is good or right.
I like how you ignored the part where the kids were deprived of basic foods, were malnourished, and one of the kids was blind and forced to walk around without glasses because his mom thinks the glasses will cripple him
Load More Replies... She lost her job because of her refusal to take vaccines.
Load More Replies... The actual ratio is skewed because a lot of guys are like this one--they know they don't have a chance so they don't throw money away on a futile effort to get it.
Load More Replies... How can you tell? Is it because the 18-year-old seems too mature, intelligent and responsible for a contemporary teenager in a developed country? I don't blame you for being skeptical for that reason. I would have to remind myself of examples like Malala Yousafzai, Louis Braille, Alexander the Great, and the young scientists in the documentary "Science Fair". My own grandfather started working full-time in his early teens.
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