Millennials Sick Of People Telling They Should Move Out Of Their Parents, Explain How Times Have Changed
According to a recent study, 18 to 34-year-olds in the USA are less likely to be living independently of their families and establishing their own households than they were in during the Great Recession. Despite falling rates of unemployment and increased median salaries among them, these days Millenials seem to need extra help when it comes to leaving home. But while some argue that the fear of moving out of your parents’ place is the fear of leaving your childhood behind and becoming an adult with all the responsibilities that come along, others disagree. Tumblr users are sharing their thoughts about why they think adults who continue living with their parents aren’t failures. Scroll down to check out their reasoning and leave your thoughts in the comments.
Despite falling rates of unemployment and increased salaries among them, fewer and fewer young adults are moving out of their parents’ place
Image credits: _BlackZA
And while some people agreed with these points
Others had different opinions
What do you think?
i purchased a house at 25 years old. last year (i'm 39 now) i sold it to help my mother. my father died and she couldn't cope with debts (long story, not my parents' fault) plus she was living in this HUGE house alone. when i sold the house i cancelled out what was left of my mortgage, helped my mother settle her bills, and refurbished the first story of my family house which i'm now sharing with my mother: she lives downstairs, i live upstairs. she's retired and my job pays for everything, so i wouldn't exactly say that if you live with your parents as an adult your life is a failure.
My mom moved in with me (and my spouse) in similar circumstance, and when I was badly injured and bedridden, having her in our home (in a Mom-suite on the first floor!)... Well, I wouldn't regard any of us as failures!
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It's just so boring to read how people tell others what they can or can't do. If you want to live with your parents until you're 50 and it's in mutual agreement than that's fine. On the other hand if you think you can make it alone when you're 18 that's fine too. If everyone just stopped trying to force their opinions and beliefs upon to others, this world wouldn't be so messed up.
In many cultures people still stay with the parents even after they get married. Both sides contribute in many ways.
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There are many circumstances which result in staying with parents. Not everyone who lives with their parents can't cope in life. Maybe someone wants to save on their own flat in this way? Maybe he could not save if he had to pay the bills & rent? Maybe parents are elderly or sick and require care? On the other hand: maybe someone had to move out early in adult life, because there was violence/alcohol abuse in this house? Maybe someone was orphaned and had to learn how to cope earlier than his/her colleagues? Maybe someone is talented, has a great job, earns a lot and could start living alone at an early age? Not all parents are supportive and not all families are happy. Examples can be multiplied indefinitely, but that's not the point. Why are people so judgmental? What's wrong with us? Isn't it better to share positive energy instead of humiliating people? Mind your own business. Be good for each others. Don't judge. You never know, what life is preparing for you.
If the parents are good people, then I don’t see a reason not to live with them until they pass away. Why not be with them if you enjoy having them around? Both pairs can benefit greatly. I would love to have my parents around forever.
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I left home to get away from my alcoholic family when I was 18. I couldn't wait to be on my own! But you know what? I starved. Very seriously starved. Most times I lived on plain bread or rice, and tea or water. Protein and fresh veg was a far away dream. Many days there was nothing to eat. Food banks were just starting up then - you could go once every three months and get about 3-5 days worth of food. (Real hunger that lasts days is agonizing by the way.) Got in trouble many times because I was so late with the rent. Messed up my credit rating for many years. TV? Lol, I didn't even have a phone. It was a little better when I got roommates, but it was still a huge struggle. I support and encourage independent living, but why do we glorify that level of poverty? If parents and their kids are happy with their arrangements, then why judge?
must be up north, coz I'm down south and have never heard that, though it does sound like a kiwi thing
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it's my belief that living with parents is sometimes a choice. if an employed young man or woman chooses to live with their aged parents to take care of them, i see nothing wrong with that. on the other hand, not living with their parents, yet mooching off them to pay their utility bills is not really commendable. for instance, i live with my widowed mother because she is lonely and she has spent the majority of her savings trying to give me an education. i choose to not live her alone. that is the least i can do for her.
This is definitely something I can relate to. Although my dad's physically healthy, he's 72 now so I can help him with things he finds harder as he's getting older
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My wife and my I share an apartment with my daughter and granddaughter. I make more money then both of them so I do pay more of the rent, while me and my wife pay the bills and my daughter buys groceries. People think that she lives with me, but she doesnt. Her name is on the lease and she contributes to the household. I dont mind it, I would rather her move out when she is in the financial position to do so, not because society thinks that it is past her time. Plus I like having my granddaughter there. I get annoyed when people talk about Millennials being lazy but it is hard out there. My son and his wife barely make it and have two kids to take care of and work their butts off everyday just like most do. If you want to live with your parents until your 50 do it, just pay your part and anyone elses opinion should not matter.
Me and my dad rent a place together, both listed on the rental agreement. He receives the basic pension and I earn just above minimum wage. We both pay half the rent and other bills, and split the chores between us. Sometimes I feel in the way, but he constantly reassures me that he doesn't mind at all and we're very close. I have a dog and as he's retired, he looks after her during the day (he doesn't mind. He loves her to bits (spoils her also). She's more his than hers)
My situation is similar, instead of a dog my daughter has a daughter who I look after when she has to go to work.
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Its normal for Indonesian culture if the situation were allowed children are usually leaving the nest when they got married. Im 23, on college, live with my parents, got a part time job and they always told me to save the money to buy my own house or car. It save me a lot of money since i dont need to go outside to eat, pay rent, or the bills. Of course i help on cleaning the house, cook, and do the chores. At this economy situation, living with your parents is the best solution while saving up your money.
I moved back in with my mom when I was in my 40s because I lost my job and subsequently my apt in California (mom in CT). We lived together for a couple of years until I was able to move out on my own again. If not for her, I would have been homeless. That was 15 years ago.
After a while parents just wanna see you flying alone. Everything depends on money. But sometimes there are just people that are too dependant of their parents and they develop a sick relationship.
yup, i have seen that too. sometimes even though kids have the means to live independently, some smooch off parents for kicks
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I used to live with my aging and sick father until he passed at the end of May. I did most of the housework except cooking because he loved doing it and it made him feel alive when he had little else he could do, we shared expenses and I took care of the finances for him. Now that he has peacefully gone, I live with my mother, who had divorced him and moved to a rented apartment. It makes no sense for her not to come back to our family apartment when there's no longer any reason not to, and there's no reason for me to leave just because she's back here when we get along just fine. Why would I pay rent to live somewhere else in the same city just to not live with my mother when I can share expenses with her? When I have an actual reason to move, I will, just as I have done before more than once. But I find it utter ridiculous to waste money to live alone just for pride or something similar. We enjoy each other's company, and are saving money. Why should I have to move?
you shouldn't. if all appreciate the arrangement, then no harm, and better for you
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In Bulgaria it's pretty normal to live with your parents until you can support yourself or you marry. The whole nuclear family thing benefits businesses the most - if your whole family lives together you need less stuff, because you share. But if you all in separate nuclear families each one needs their own stuff. Still, to me the best way to go about this is to live in a shared house, where every family gets their own apartment/floor. That's how my dad's side family lives (and lots of people do this; I've seen up to three generations in one house - grandparents, parents and kids). That way you're still close enough with your family that you can help each other, but your relatives can't butt in too much into your personal stuff, like how you raise your kids (like my maternal grandmother is single-handedly responsible for ruining my close relationship with my brother that my parents had cultivated in our early years; we're on good terms now, but not as close).
My feeling is that this is a return to a practical system where everybody contributes to the household whether it be money or tasks.
It just makes way more sense that way unless you have a reason to move out, like getting married or having to go to a different city for whatever reason or just don't get along. Why should both parents and kids pay more and work harder to live separately when they can share expenses and tasks?
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I moved out at 23, 15 years ago. Not because I had loads of money or a good job or was getting a mortgage, just because I wanted to
I have four teenagers and my oldest turns 18 this month. My two middle kids have jobs and have demonstrated they're good with money. I'm not worried if they live at home until they're situated. My eldest, on the other hand seems to think it's going to be all sunshine and video games for him 'til the day he dies and doesn't seem to believe that I intend to charge him rent to stay in his room if he's not demonstrating any progress towards his future.
I only get like 200 a week from a student allowance, rent anywhere is at least 150, how would I be able to pay at least food and electricity with just 50, at least with my family I pay 100 board and then the rest goes towards bus to get me to class and anything else I need to get like supplements plus a wee bit for snacks or anything that I may feel like getting that week.
Rents are CRAZY high in the Bay Area California. I don't see how a college graduate with a good degree starting out in their field could possibly afford the outrageous rents here. It's not right! People talk about a minimum wage issue... that's not the problem, it's a housing issue!!!!
Hmmm...my daughter, 20 yr. old grandson, & I all happily live together... When my daughter was divorced & she went through a devastating spinal syndrome, I would've done anything for her & my then 2 yr. old grandson to move back with me. So, I took them in along with her 3 cats! She is still disabled with this today & I have a lot of back problems myself. So you see, its not always the kids being lazy...but what is best for all! Don't judge if you don't know the circumstance!!
Think of the big families that all owned brown stones in places like NY and they all lived together in veritable peace. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, each branch with their own section that could get together or not. Sounds like a great idea!
I made bad choices early in life and ended up in huge debt and without financial stability. I partially blame social inheritance as both my parents are financially unstable and didn't teach me financial responsibility. I have a daughter and now that I have learned about finances the hard way, I will be guiding, helping and supporting her in any way, to give her the best start in life, so she doesn't have to go through what I went through. And if offering her the option to live at home beyond the age of 18 helps her, then I am happy to do that.
Do not judge your neighbor till you have walked from dawn to dusk in his/her moccasins. Jobs that pay a decent income are hard to come by, and the wages of the working class have been stagnant for decades.
Let people live they way they want to live. It's their decision and never yours. Why do you even need to have an opinion on this.
I did not leave home until i married at 38. There was no need I paid my parents a few hundred pounds a month for my keep and we all happily lived together.
I moved out when I was 25. I finished studies, went abroad after applying for a few jobs. When I got back I got luckily employed and was able to stand on my own feet. It was quite common where I live to move out when you actually were independent. Staying with parents in mid 20s is nothing to criticize imho. Staying with parents in mid 30s though I find a little disturbing, but that is based on my culture, general observation. I know that in other places living with parents when you are married and have own family is nothing unusual. Maybe we should focus more on ourselves instead of looking into other peoples business?
The real question: is the young person living w/ 'rents really trying to move their life fwd? Through work, school or some other way? Or applying for jobs? If they can honestly say they are then it's not unreasonable. If you're the young adult doing this, do you pay rent/help out financially? That makes it much more defensible, but if you can't do that at least clean, and do MORE than your share of cleaning to offset the inconvenience of your presence. I moved back in w/ my 'rents at 29, broke & jobless. I'm no perfect person & wasn't then, but at that time you wouldn't have found a day I wasn't applying for jobs, resume tweaking or networking. And I cleaned a ton, did long needed deep cleans/fix-ups. Three house-areas were better after I moved out again - sure enough I got a job after enough efforts and un-boomeranged. Fellow Millens, yes it's been a tough econ, but we have to keep trying and be the best adults we can be. Our childhoods ended a while ago. Get over it.
There's nothing wrong whether you live with your family or moved out to be independent maybe it depends on your choice, situation, culture and financial stability. Well here in the Philippines it's just pretty much normal if you still live with your parents and moved out when you were married as long as your single and helping your family it's more convenient and money wise since paying rent and everyday expenses are costly rather than staying in your parents house and share expense.
In Brazil, where I live, if you leave your parent's house before getting maried, you are just a bad child. Sometimes, even married couples lives with their parents, it is just how things are. I'm 23, if I leave mu house, my mom would never forgive me.
I can't afford a house and I absolutely don't need it. Most people I know live in flats which consist of two rooms, a bathroom and a kitchen. You live with your parents until you have enough money for your two rooms, or even one, because flats are expensive and salaries are low. Or until you get married. Or until you really have enough of your parents. We are lucky there's little pressure in my country.
Different beurocratic people tried to force me to move out of my parents home without even having an income...They claimed I would become more independent, I have my own flat in the house my parents own, I got a car, my own place to clean up, decide my own furniture/netflix/what to eat etc, my boyfriend lives here too now and we're as independent as anywhere, but it's nice to be close and to help eachother out as a team, why is it so taboo...
The real issue here is white people who are now getting the treatment given blacks for decades..low pay. Quick to get fired. Quick to be thrown out of an apartment for not having a job.. Whites...who refuse to accept that the low pay and high school bills means they have to go live WHEREVER THEIR MONEY TAKES THEM.. Like a poor neighborhood among those blacks and Mexicans you've learned to think you were better than... You're going to have to go to a FOOD BANK or buy cloths from GOODWILL once and a while. You can't get toys anymore with your paycheck..a videogame? That's a toy. So is your high end cell phone. Get a generic phone that has GPS so you can find things. BASIC CABLE TV OR NO TV AT ALL...and watch dtv GASP..SHOCKER Stop stealing your parents older year's...WE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SPEND TIME IN OUR HOMES ALONE WITHOUT YOU HOGGING UP BATHROOMS, WASHING MACHINES, AND UTILITIES.. We worked to get where we are, regardless of where that might be. So GET TF OUT.
Have ANY of you idiots ever thought to yourselves that your parents have dreams and aspirations THAT DONT INCLUDE YOU? they may want time WITHOUT you so they can bond as a couple, after year's of pandering to YOU YOU YOU?!? and are you having sex with anyone? You'd better not get pregnant...because we raised our kids why the heck should we spend 5 minutes raising YOURS? So we should play parents till we are old and senile and then you get to go off and live your life?!
One problem I have noticed with grown children who "fail to launch," is their expectation of moving into an economic situation that it took their parents 20 or 30 years to establish. Millennials don't seem to be willing to start at the bottom and work their way up. I started with c**p furniture in a c**p apartment. And I always saved some money, even if it was only $5 a week. Yes, prices were lower, but so were salaries. That reality always seems to even out.
Leaving home after hitting adulthood is by no means 'normal'. It is just a trend that started in Euroatlantic countries somewhere in early 1950's, when the post-war economic boom created a lot of workplaces that compounded with low costs of education and housing made it easy to get financial independence. Up until then, people tended to live with their parents up until marriage or achieving financial stability. Even earlier, when credits and loans were available only to the more affluent strata of society, average people were living with parents (and sometimes even grandparents) until they were able to buy or build their house for accumulated cash. Moving out around 30-35 (i.e. after 20 years of work) was pretty much the norm.
Its funny how people praise families in poor countries for staying together, its because there isnt any type of welfare systems in place, theres no other options.
My husband and I lived in shared housing which was great, then bought a house which didn't work out, sold the house, ended up being invited to live with my mother. We travel a LOT for work and this was the perfect solution. We paid bills, did shopping, cooking, cleaning, hung out with her, then went on the road for a few months. It was so wonderful. When she developed cancer we stayed with her until the bitter end and took care of her. I would give anything to be able to live with her again.
I'm 23, live with my parents, co-own a car and hold down two jobs and two volunteer positions. My parents want me to move out, but we don't see the point in moving out and renting. So I'm waiting until a house I can fix up (and flip down the road) comes up for sale in my town. The longer I stay at home, the more money I can put down on the house, the lower my mortgage and the sooner I can pay off my debt. FYI I've already managed to power pay-off my student loan (took a year). So the only way my money is going out is gas, insurance, food and phone bills. I'm hoping to buy my house next year. :)
The point is, staying longer at home can be to prepare for the future as well as from being in debt and not being able to afford it.
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Oh quit being a 3rd world twat, grow up, & get the hell out of the house and be a damn human fing being...you twat...I RETIRED from the military at 38 while some of these nimrods are worrying about safe zones and if they are ready to spread their stupid wings because somebody may not like them outside of the house...well sunshine, nobody likes ya IN the house...ya twat
If my mom wasn't an unbearable control freak I'd move home tomorrow.
Nothing wrong with moving back with parents, as long as you are contributing to the household. I was reading "Dear Abby" (or the like) where this mother let her son move back in after college. Caveat: it did sound like she let him take advantage of her generosity in the beginning, and perhaps didn't "raise him right." He got his law degree, had many student loans, and after a year of living off mom (who said she went back to work as her husband's death benefits didn't support the two of them), still lived at home. Expecting her to do all the grocery shopping (he'd leave a list - no money), not pay rent, leave his mess all over the house, etc... He was now a lawyer making good money. She was asking how to get him out. I think that is what many think of when they hear a 20-something living back at home. Again, I don't have an issue with it, as long as they contribute to the household like any good roommate!
Look I am not a millennial, I am a gen x'er and raised some millennials. First yes the job market and the cost of living suck, but it always has, to live on your own just starting out it takes almost every dollar you have and too many kids now don't want to have to give up their drinking money, gaming money, dining out money to afford rent somewhere. I still have a 26 year old I raised since he was 13 living at home, yes he has a full time job but doesn't want to move out just yet because he says he is saving up, but the truth is I don't think he is ready to struggle and deal with the stress of juggling bills to keep things on. I love my kids and can't bear the idea of ever having to kick them out of the house but it is a hard and stressful providing food and other expenses to adult children. I don't know where I come out on this issue but I am a little tired of the whining about how hard it is to afford a place on your own, it always has been.
Then take into consideration places like Vancouver where a s**t box will cost you a cool 5 million that needs to be torn down, then living with your parents is very common.
I went to college at 17 and never lived at home again. I was financially independent from my family starting at that age; I paid for both college AND grad school; took out loans; worked 30+ hours a week; and managed to it all relatively successfully. Oh yeah, the grad school was in NYC by the way. I paid off my student loans in 9 years and bought my own apartment in NYC 10 years ago. So, is it possible to do it all on your own? F**k yeah it is. You just have to have a good work ethic and be willing to devote your time to things beyond your studies. And don't give me that "it's more expensive to live nowadays" c**p. It's not substantially different now than it was when I moved to NYC or when I was in college as an undergrad. It's b******t.
Everyone has their own circumstances & experiences. Assuming someone else can do what you did just because you did it is incredibly ignorant.
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My husband and I have decided to live with his parents out of practicality honestly: we want to buy a house and with the way the market is and how the economy is, it's difficult to save enough money for a down payment when you're paying a large sum of your income towards your livelihood and your student loans. So we will be staying with them for a year so we can save an a*s ton of money and put that towards our savings... to which we can place towards a down payment into a house we want to live in together. The plus side is: I love my in-laws and get along with them amazingly well, even if their son and me are a gay couple. They adore us. The down side: I can't walk around in my underwear like I'm prone to do anymore... I guess that's fine? lol
Lol, guys, i got my place because i didn't move out, even when my parents trolled me or beat the hell out of me (when i was born, child abuse didn't existed), into total submission. Being only child, when they died... I GOT THE HOUSE!!! Not a bad plan coming from a 12 year old kid, and to think i was being told that i was stupid by my 'lovely' harpy-an mother. My mom would've made you cry.
yup, sometimes we gotta get away from toxic families, sometimes even though you're supposed to love them, you just can't. glad you got the house!
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I do understand how expensive everything is, and how incomes are not keeping up. However, one thing these young people aren't taking into account is that for parents, the years after your kids graduate from college are a time when we try to repair our own finances after years of sacrifice and scrimping. We are worried about how we will afford our retirement. In addition, if your parents are married, they are also looking to reconnect with each other, make new friends, take trips, etc. Most of us did not get our own wonderful apartment when we graduated- we lived with roommates and figured our s**t out.
You NEED to leave home! These are the times that you should be learning life lessons! Life lessons that you cannot learn if you are not independent! It kills me to hear young people say, "Im not built to adult yet",
I see a lot of fingers to point to todays problems. Was once told by my grandparents that when I point to others for excuses 4 more point back to me. today I use more than one finger to do that. The US government all but gave away our jobs to other countries by government fiat in its trade deals, Unions often ask for more than what is reasonable for the amount of labor produced and little to weed out the loafers in its group. Our educational system pushed people for years to get a degree in fields were it really makes little sense to get the jobs done efficiently. And pushed to make it a requirement when ever possible. Belittle even good paying blue collar jobs. Then push for the government/banks to give loans and then raise the cost of education far beyond inflation. Oh and make it so that even bankruptcy can't get you out of paying it off. And of course I want more free stuff from the government that is already borrowing money like Wimpy from the Popeye cartoons.
How do you learn to take care of your own bills and responsibilities living with your parents?
To the one who says you're not really an adult if you still live with your parents. Yes, you are. An adult who cares for the elderly (and kids, if you have them). Also, I liked the perspective of Michael B. Jordan (if I remember correctly), when he said something like "I don't live with my parents, my parents live with me."
Yes. I am living the fifth poorest region in my country, and there was a time when only me had a job. So I lived with my mom but I was who paid the bills and the food. The problems is, that the stereotype says if someone live with his or her parents he or she must be lazy and unemployed etc, but in many cases that is not true.
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i purchased a house at 25 years old. last year (i'm 39 now) i sold it to help my mother. my father died and she couldn't cope with debts (long story, not my parents' fault) plus she was living in this HUGE house alone. when i sold the house i cancelled out what was left of my mortgage, helped my mother settle her bills, and refurbished the first story of my family house which i'm now sharing with my mother: she lives downstairs, i live upstairs. she's retired and my job pays for everything, so i wouldn't exactly say that if you live with your parents as an adult your life is a failure.
My mom moved in with me (and my spouse) in similar circumstance, and when I was badly injured and bedridden, having her in our home (in a Mom-suite on the first floor!)... Well, I wouldn't regard any of us as failures!
Load More Replies... It's just so boring to read how people tell others what they can or can't do. If you want to live with your parents until you're 50 and it's in mutual agreement than that's fine. On the other hand if you think you can make it alone when you're 18 that's fine too. If everyone just stopped trying to force their opinions and beliefs upon to others, this world wouldn't be so messed up.
In many cultures people still stay with the parents even after they get married. Both sides contribute in many ways.
Load More Replies... There are many circumstances which result in staying with parents. Not everyone who lives with their parents can't cope in life. Maybe someone wants to save on their own flat in this way? Maybe he could not save if he had to pay the bills & rent? Maybe parents are elderly or sick and require care? On the other hand: maybe someone had to move out early in adult life, because there was violence/alcohol abuse in this house? Maybe someone was orphaned and had to learn how to cope earlier than his/her colleagues? Maybe someone is talented, has a great job, earns a lot and could start living alone at an early age? Not all parents are supportive and not all families are happy. Examples can be multiplied indefinitely, but that's not the point. Why are people so judgmental? What's wrong with us? Isn't it better to share positive energy instead of humiliating people? Mind your own business. Be good for each others. Don't judge. You never know, what life is preparing for you.
If the parents are good people, then I don’t see a reason not to live with them until they pass away. Why not be with them if you enjoy having them around? Both pairs can benefit greatly. I would love to have my parents around forever.
Load More Replies... I left home to get away from my alcoholic family when I was 18. I couldn't wait to be on my own! But you know what? I starved. Very seriously starved. Most times I lived on plain bread or rice, and tea or water. Protein and fresh veg was a far away dream. Many days there was nothing to eat. Food banks were just starting up then - you could go once every three months and get about 3-5 days worth of food. (Real hunger that lasts days is agonizing by the way.) Got in trouble many times because I was so late with the rent. Messed up my credit rating for many years. TV? Lol, I didn't even have a phone. It was a little better when I got roommates, but it was still a huge struggle. I support and encourage independent living, but why do we glorify that level of poverty? If parents and their kids are happy with their arrangements, then why judge?
must be up north, coz I'm down south and have never heard that, though it does sound like a kiwi thing
Load More Replies... it's my belief that living with parents is sometimes a choice. if an employed young man or woman chooses to live with their aged parents to take care of them, i see nothing wrong with that. on the other hand, not living with their parents, yet mooching off them to pay their utility bills is not really commendable. for instance, i live with my widowed mother because she is lonely and she has spent the majority of her savings trying to give me an education. i choose to not live her alone. that is the least i can do for her.
This is definitely something I can relate to. Although my dad's physically healthy, he's 72 now so I can help him with things he finds harder as he's getting older
Load More Replies... My wife and my I share an apartment with my daughter and granddaughter. I make more money then both of them so I do pay more of the rent, while me and my wife pay the bills and my daughter buys groceries. People think that she lives with me, but she doesnt. Her name is on the lease and she contributes to the household. I dont mind it, I would rather her move out when she is in the financial position to do so, not because society thinks that it is past her time. Plus I like having my granddaughter there. I get annoyed when people talk about Millennials being lazy but it is hard out there. My son and his wife barely make it and have two kids to take care of and work their butts off everyday just like most do. If you want to live with your parents until your 50 do it, just pay your part and anyone elses opinion should not matter.
Me and my dad rent a place together, both listed on the rental agreement. He receives the basic pension and I earn just above minimum wage. We both pay half the rent and other bills, and split the chores between us. Sometimes I feel in the way, but he constantly reassures me that he doesn't mind at all and we're very close. I have a dog and as he's retired, he looks after her during the day (he doesn't mind. He loves her to bits (spoils her also). She's more his than hers)
My situation is similar, instead of a dog my daughter has a daughter who I look after when she has to go to work.
Load More Replies... Its normal for Indonesian culture if the situation were allowed children are usually leaving the nest when they got married. Im 23, on college, live with my parents, got a part time job and they always told me to save the money to buy my own house or car. It save me a lot of money since i dont need to go outside to eat, pay rent, or the bills. Of course i help on cleaning the house, cook, and do the chores. At this economy situation, living with your parents is the best solution while saving up your money.
I moved back in with my mom when I was in my 40s because I lost my job and subsequently my apt in California (mom in CT). We lived together for a couple of years until I was able to move out on my own again. If not for her, I would have been homeless. That was 15 years ago.
After a while parents just wanna see you flying alone. Everything depends on money. But sometimes there are just people that are too dependant of their parents and they develop a sick relationship.
yup, i have seen that too. sometimes even though kids have the means to live independently, some smooch off parents for kicks
Load More Replies... I used to live with my aging and sick father until he passed at the end of May. I did most of the housework except cooking because he loved doing it and it made him feel alive when he had little else he could do, we shared expenses and I took care of the finances for him. Now that he has peacefully gone, I live with my mother, who had divorced him and moved to a rented apartment. It makes no sense for her not to come back to our family apartment when there's no longer any reason not to, and there's no reason for me to leave just because she's back here when we get along just fine. Why would I pay rent to live somewhere else in the same city just to not live with my mother when I can share expenses with her? When I have an actual reason to move, I will, just as I have done before more than once. But I find it utter ridiculous to waste money to live alone just for pride or something similar. We enjoy each other's company, and are saving money. Why should I have to move?
you shouldn't. if all appreciate the arrangement, then no harm, and better for you
Load More Replies... In Bulgaria it's pretty normal to live with your parents until you can support yourself or you marry. The whole nuclear family thing benefits businesses the most - if your whole family lives together you need less stuff, because you share. But if you all in separate nuclear families each one needs their own stuff. Still, to me the best way to go about this is to live in a shared house, where every family gets their own apartment/floor. That's how my dad's side family lives (and lots of people do this; I've seen up to three generations in one house - grandparents, parents and kids). That way you're still close enough with your family that you can help each other, but your relatives can't butt in too much into your personal stuff, like how you raise your kids (like my maternal grandmother is single-handedly responsible for ruining my close relationship with my brother that my parents had cultivated in our early years; we're on good terms now, but not as close).
My feeling is that this is a return to a practical system where everybody contributes to the household whether it be money or tasks.
It just makes way more sense that way unless you have a reason to move out, like getting married or having to go to a different city for whatever reason or just don't get along. Why should both parents and kids pay more and work harder to live separately when they can share expenses and tasks?
Load More Replies... I moved out at 23, 15 years ago. Not because I had loads of money or a good job or was getting a mortgage, just because I wanted to
I have four teenagers and my oldest turns 18 this month. My two middle kids have jobs and have demonstrated they're good with money. I'm not worried if they live at home until they're situated. My eldest, on the other hand seems to think it's going to be all sunshine and video games for him 'til the day he dies and doesn't seem to believe that I intend to charge him rent to stay in his room if he's not demonstrating any progress towards his future.
I only get like 200 a week from a student allowance, rent anywhere is at least 150, how would I be able to pay at least food and electricity with just 50, at least with my family I pay 100 board and then the rest goes towards bus to get me to class and anything else I need to get like supplements plus a wee bit for snacks or anything that I may feel like getting that week.
Rents are CRAZY high in the Bay Area California. I don't see how a college graduate with a good degree starting out in their field could possibly afford the outrageous rents here. It's not right! People talk about a minimum wage issue... that's not the problem, it's a housing issue!!!!
Hmmm...my daughter, 20 yr. old grandson, & I all happily live together... When my daughter was divorced & she went through a devastating spinal syndrome, I would've done anything for her & my then 2 yr. old grandson to move back with me. So, I took them in along with her 3 cats! She is still disabled with this today & I have a lot of back problems myself. So you see, its not always the kids being lazy...but what is best for all! Don't judge if you don't know the circumstance!!
Think of the big families that all owned brown stones in places like NY and they all lived together in veritable peace. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, each branch with their own section that could get together or not. Sounds like a great idea!
I made bad choices early in life and ended up in huge debt and without financial stability. I partially blame social inheritance as both my parents are financially unstable and didn't teach me financial responsibility. I have a daughter and now that I have learned about finances the hard way, I will be guiding, helping and supporting her in any way, to give her the best start in life, so she doesn't have to go through what I went through. And if offering her the option to live at home beyond the age of 18 helps her, then I am happy to do that.
Do not judge your neighbor till you have walked from dawn to dusk in his/her moccasins. Jobs that pay a decent income are hard to come by, and the wages of the working class have been stagnant for decades.
Let people live they way they want to live. It's their decision and never yours. Why do you even need to have an opinion on this.
I did not leave home until i married at 38. There was no need I paid my parents a few hundred pounds a month for my keep and we all happily lived together.
I moved out when I was 25. I finished studies, went abroad after applying for a few jobs. When I got back I got luckily employed and was able to stand on my own feet. It was quite common where I live to move out when you actually were independent. Staying with parents in mid 20s is nothing to criticize imho. Staying with parents in mid 30s though I find a little disturbing, but that is based on my culture, general observation. I know that in other places living with parents when you are married and have own family is nothing unusual. Maybe we should focus more on ourselves instead of looking into other peoples business?
The real question: is the young person living w/ 'rents really trying to move their life fwd? Through work, school or some other way? Or applying for jobs? If they can honestly say they are then it's not unreasonable. If you're the young adult doing this, do you pay rent/help out financially? That makes it much more defensible, but if you can't do that at least clean, and do MORE than your share of cleaning to offset the inconvenience of your presence. I moved back in w/ my 'rents at 29, broke & jobless. I'm no perfect person & wasn't then, but at that time you wouldn't have found a day I wasn't applying for jobs, resume tweaking or networking. And I cleaned a ton, did long needed deep cleans/fix-ups. Three house-areas were better after I moved out again - sure enough I got a job after enough efforts and un-boomeranged. Fellow Millens, yes it's been a tough econ, but we have to keep trying and be the best adults we can be. Our childhoods ended a while ago. Get over it.
There's nothing wrong whether you live with your family or moved out to be independent maybe it depends on your choice, situation, culture and financial stability. Well here in the Philippines it's just pretty much normal if you still live with your parents and moved out when you were married as long as your single and helping your family it's more convenient and money wise since paying rent and everyday expenses are costly rather than staying in your parents house and share expense.
In Brazil, where I live, if you leave your parent's house before getting maried, you are just a bad child. Sometimes, even married couples lives with their parents, it is just how things are. I'm 23, if I leave mu house, my mom would never forgive me.
I can't afford a house and I absolutely don't need it. Most people I know live in flats which consist of two rooms, a bathroom and a kitchen. You live with your parents until you have enough money for your two rooms, or even one, because flats are expensive and salaries are low. Or until you get married. Or until you really have enough of your parents. We are lucky there's little pressure in my country.
Different beurocratic people tried to force me to move out of my parents home without even having an income...They claimed I would become more independent, I have my own flat in the house my parents own, I got a car, my own place to clean up, decide my own furniture/netflix/what to eat etc, my boyfriend lives here too now and we're as independent as anywhere, but it's nice to be close and to help eachother out as a team, why is it so taboo...
The real issue here is white people who are now getting the treatment given blacks for decades..low pay. Quick to get fired. Quick to be thrown out of an apartment for not having a job.. Whites...who refuse to accept that the low pay and high school bills means they have to go live WHEREVER THEIR MONEY TAKES THEM.. Like a poor neighborhood among those blacks and Mexicans you've learned to think you were better than... You're going to have to go to a FOOD BANK or buy cloths from GOODWILL once and a while. You can't get toys anymore with your paycheck..a videogame? That's a toy. So is your high end cell phone. Get a generic phone that has GPS so you can find things. BASIC CABLE TV OR NO TV AT ALL...and watch dtv GASP..SHOCKER Stop stealing your parents older year's...WE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SPEND TIME IN OUR HOMES ALONE WITHOUT YOU HOGGING UP BATHROOMS, WASHING MACHINES, AND UTILITIES.. We worked to get where we are, regardless of where that might be. So GET TF OUT.
Have ANY of you idiots ever thought to yourselves that your parents have dreams and aspirations THAT DONT INCLUDE YOU? they may want time WITHOUT you so they can bond as a couple, after year's of pandering to YOU YOU YOU?!? and are you having sex with anyone? You'd better not get pregnant...because we raised our kids why the heck should we spend 5 minutes raising YOURS? So we should play parents till we are old and senile and then you get to go off and live your life?!
One problem I have noticed with grown children who "fail to launch," is their expectation of moving into an economic situation that it took their parents 20 or 30 years to establish. Millennials don't seem to be willing to start at the bottom and work their way up. I started with c**p furniture in a c**p apartment. And I always saved some money, even if it was only $5 a week. Yes, prices were lower, but so were salaries. That reality always seems to even out.
Leaving home after hitting adulthood is by no means 'normal'. It is just a trend that started in Euroatlantic countries somewhere in early 1950's, when the post-war economic boom created a lot of workplaces that compounded with low costs of education and housing made it easy to get financial independence. Up until then, people tended to live with their parents up until marriage or achieving financial stability. Even earlier, when credits and loans were available only to the more affluent strata of society, average people were living with parents (and sometimes even grandparents) until they were able to buy or build their house for accumulated cash. Moving out around 30-35 (i.e. after 20 years of work) was pretty much the norm.
Its funny how people praise families in poor countries for staying together, its because there isnt any type of welfare systems in place, theres no other options.
My husband and I lived in shared housing which was great, then bought a house which didn't work out, sold the house, ended up being invited to live with my mother. We travel a LOT for work and this was the perfect solution. We paid bills, did shopping, cooking, cleaning, hung out with her, then went on the road for a few months. It was so wonderful. When she developed cancer we stayed with her until the bitter end and took care of her. I would give anything to be able to live with her again.
I'm 23, live with my parents, co-own a car and hold down two jobs and two volunteer positions. My parents want me to move out, but we don't see the point in moving out and renting. So I'm waiting until a house I can fix up (and flip down the road) comes up for sale in my town. The longer I stay at home, the more money I can put down on the house, the lower my mortgage and the sooner I can pay off my debt. FYI I've already managed to power pay-off my student loan (took a year). So the only way my money is going out is gas, insurance, food and phone bills. I'm hoping to buy my house next year. :)
The point is, staying longer at home can be to prepare for the future as well as from being in debt and not being able to afford it.
Load More Replies... Oh quit being a 3rd world twat, grow up, & get the hell out of the house and be a damn human fing being...you twat...I RETIRED from the military at 38 while some of these nimrods are worrying about safe zones and if they are ready to spread their stupid wings because somebody may not like them outside of the house...well sunshine, nobody likes ya IN the house...ya twat
If my mom wasn't an unbearable control freak I'd move home tomorrow.
Nothing wrong with moving back with parents, as long as you are contributing to the household. I was reading "Dear Abby" (or the like) where this mother let her son move back in after college. Caveat: it did sound like she let him take advantage of her generosity in the beginning, and perhaps didn't "raise him right." He got his law degree, had many student loans, and after a year of living off mom (who said she went back to work as her husband's death benefits didn't support the two of them), still lived at home. Expecting her to do all the grocery shopping (he'd leave a list - no money), not pay rent, leave his mess all over the house, etc... He was now a lawyer making good money. She was asking how to get him out. I think that is what many think of when they hear a 20-something living back at home. Again, I don't have an issue with it, as long as they contribute to the household like any good roommate!
Look I am not a millennial, I am a gen x'er and raised some millennials. First yes the job market and the cost of living suck, but it always has, to live on your own just starting out it takes almost every dollar you have and too many kids now don't want to have to give up their drinking money, gaming money, dining out money to afford rent somewhere. I still have a 26 year old I raised since he was 13 living at home, yes he has a full time job but doesn't want to move out just yet because he says he is saving up, but the truth is I don't think he is ready to struggle and deal with the stress of juggling bills to keep things on. I love my kids and can't bear the idea of ever having to kick them out of the house but it is a hard and stressful providing food and other expenses to adult children. I don't know where I come out on this issue but I am a little tired of the whining about how hard it is to afford a place on your own, it always has been.
Then take into consideration places like Vancouver where a s**t box will cost you a cool 5 million that needs to be torn down, then living with your parents is very common.
I went to college at 17 and never lived at home again. I was financially independent from my family starting at that age; I paid for both college AND grad school; took out loans; worked 30+ hours a week; and managed to it all relatively successfully. Oh yeah, the grad school was in NYC by the way. I paid off my student loans in 9 years and bought my own apartment in NYC 10 years ago. So, is it possible to do it all on your own? F**k yeah it is. You just have to have a good work ethic and be willing to devote your time to things beyond your studies. And don't give me that "it's more expensive to live nowadays" c**p. It's not substantially different now than it was when I moved to NYC or when I was in college as an undergrad. It's b******t.
Everyone has their own circumstances & experiences. Assuming someone else can do what you did just because you did it is incredibly ignorant.
Load More Replies... My husband and I have decided to live with his parents out of practicality honestly: we want to buy a house and with the way the market is and how the economy is, it's difficult to save enough money for a down payment when you're paying a large sum of your income towards your livelihood and your student loans. So we will be staying with them for a year so we can save an a*s ton of money and put that towards our savings... to which we can place towards a down payment into a house we want to live in together. The plus side is: I love my in-laws and get along with them amazingly well, even if their son and me are a gay couple. They adore us. The down side: I can't walk around in my underwear like I'm prone to do anymore... I guess that's fine? lol
Lol, guys, i got my place because i didn't move out, even when my parents trolled me or beat the hell out of me (when i was born, child abuse didn't existed), into total submission. Being only child, when they died... I GOT THE HOUSE!!! Not a bad plan coming from a 12 year old kid, and to think i was being told that i was stupid by my 'lovely' harpy-an mother. My mom would've made you cry.
yup, sometimes we gotta get away from toxic families, sometimes even though you're supposed to love them, you just can't. glad you got the house!
Load More Replies... I do understand how expensive everything is, and how incomes are not keeping up. However, one thing these young people aren't taking into account is that for parents, the years after your kids graduate from college are a time when we try to repair our own finances after years of sacrifice and scrimping. We are worried about how we will afford our retirement. In addition, if your parents are married, they are also looking to reconnect with each other, make new friends, take trips, etc. Most of us did not get our own wonderful apartment when we graduated- we lived with roommates and figured our s**t out.
You NEED to leave home! These are the times that you should be learning life lessons! Life lessons that you cannot learn if you are not independent! It kills me to hear young people say, "Im not built to adult yet",
I see a lot of fingers to point to todays problems. Was once told by my grandparents that when I point to others for excuses 4 more point back to me. today I use more than one finger to do that. The US government all but gave away our jobs to other countries by government fiat in its trade deals, Unions often ask for more than what is reasonable for the amount of labor produced and little to weed out the loafers in its group. Our educational system pushed people for years to get a degree in fields were it really makes little sense to get the jobs done efficiently. And pushed to make it a requirement when ever possible. Belittle even good paying blue collar jobs. Then push for the government/banks to give loans and then raise the cost of education far beyond inflation. Oh and make it so that even bankruptcy can't get you out of paying it off. And of course I want more free stuff from the government that is already borrowing money like Wimpy from the Popeye cartoons.
How do you learn to take care of your own bills and responsibilities living with your parents?
To the one who says you're not really an adult if you still live with your parents. Yes, you are. An adult who cares for the elderly (and kids, if you have them). Also, I liked the perspective of Michael B. Jordan (if I remember correctly), when he said something like "I don't live with my parents, my parents live with me."
Yes. I am living the fifth poorest region in my country, and there was a time when only me had a job. So I lived with my mom but I was who paid the bills and the food. The problems is, that the stereotype says if someone live with his or her parents he or she must be lazy and unemployed etc, but in many cases that is not true.
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