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“AITA For ‘Abandoning’ My Niece Because My Sister Wouldn’t Come And Get Her?”
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“AITA For ‘Abandoning’ My Niece Because My Sister Wouldn’t Come And Get Her?”

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Raising a young child is no walk in the park. You’re constantly on high alert—making sure they don’t get into trouble, keeping them fed and happy, cleaning up their endless messes, and somehow surviving on little to no rest. It’s a whirlwind that never seems to slow down.

For one Redditor’s sister, parenting her two-year-old had her feeling overwhelmed. She would sometimes retreat to the bathroom for a breather and ask her teenage brother to watch her daughter in the meantime. But after one too many “quick favors,” her brother had enough. He left the toddler alone and walked out of the house.

The bold move sparked a wave of mixed reactions online. Read on for the full story.

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    The woman asked her teen brother to watch her 2-year-old daughter while she took a quick bathroom break

    Image credits: Roberta Sant’Anna/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    But with plans of his own, he couldn’t wait for her to return and chose to leave the child by herself

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    Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    Image creidts: AdVaanced77

    Children aged 0-3 should never be left alone, according to NSPCC

    No matter the intention behind OP’s actions, leaving a young child unattended comes with serious risks. According to the UK’s National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC), children aged 0-3 should never be left home alone, not even for 15 minutes.

    The NSPCC also advises that children under 12 should not be left home alone, especially for long periods. This aligns with findings from a 2019 study that surveyed members of the National Association of Social Workers in the US, asking them what age they considered child neglect if kids were left home alone for four hours.

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    “Every child is different, of course, and every situation may be different,” study author Dr. Charles Jennissen, a clinical professor of pediatrics and emergency medicine at the University of Iowa Carver College of Medicine in Iowa City, told NBC News. “But overall these social workers say that kids really shouldn’t be home alone under the age of at least 12.”

    Image credits: Jeremiah Lawrence/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    In the US, most states don’t have specific laws or guidelines about when children can be left alone. However, in scenarios where no laws were broken and no harm occurred, the majority of social workers still considered it neglect to leave children under a certain age alone:

    • 6-year-olds: 100% viewed it as neglect
    • 8-year-olds: 83% considered it neglect
    • 10-year-olds: 51% considered it neglect

    By comparison, only 11% of social workers thought leaving 12-year-olds alone was neglect, and just 1% said the same about 14-year-olds.

    Experts believe that much depends on the child’s maturity, developmental stage, and preparedness for being unsupervised. “I certainly agree that 12 years of age and up for the most part, depending on how they are developmentally, is probably OK, but there also are 12-year-olds who are not able to handle it,” said Dr. Suzanne Haney, chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Child Abuse and Neglect. “So it’s really hard to give a safe age because of all the factors that play into it. We have lots of kids who have learning disabilities or cognitive disabilities or behavioral issues and they may be 14 and they’re not safe.”

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    Dr. Haney suggested that parents consult with their pediatrician about whether a child is ready to be left home alone and for how long.

    “A lot of it is going to be a maturity and a risk determination, so things like—do the children know what to do if somebody comes to the door, do they know how to call 911, do they know how to respond to a fire or to somebody breaking into the home?” she explained. “Clearly a child under 6 is going to have a lot of difficulty dialing a phone, let alone determining if somebody at the door is reasonable.”

    In the replies, the teen clarified that his sister used the bathroom to spend time on her phone

    Some readers argued that it wasn’t his responsibility to watch the child

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    Others, however, felt that his decision to leave wasn’t worth the potential danger it caused

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past five years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.

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    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Oleksandra is an experienced copywriter from Ukraine with a master’s degree in International Communication. Having covered everything from education, finance, and marketing to art, pop culture, and memes, she now brings her storytelling skills to Bored Panda. For the past five years, she’s been living and working in Vilnius, Lithuania.

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    Read less »

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    What do you think ?
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    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this house not baby proofed and set up so the 2 year old can be left alone for a couple of minutes? Parents leave their children alone in a room overnight and noone calls it abandonment. It's called bedtime. Mums all over the world put 2 year olds in a playpen, or a crib, with a toy or with the tv on, so they can clean, cook, shower, or use the loo. Teaching babies to cope with being "alone" for a few minutes is a basic part of parenting. Think sleep training. Think teaching the toddler to play quietly in their crip until mummy's alarm clock goes off. The problem here is that mom is not teaching the 2 year old that she can play by herself for five minutes without an adult literally in the same room. Instead she's burned out and hiding in the bathroom, neglecting the child while the child gets upset. Letting the kid run around free in a non-child proofed house would clearly be a fail, but FFS put them down in the playpen for a few minutes at a time.

    Debbie
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This... when I was home alone with 3 kids I needed to go to the toilet, do laundry, change the baby, help another kid... It's impossible to have 1 pair of eyes on 3 children (or even 1) all the time. So yes, you put your kids somewhere safe (crib, playpen, tv) and hope they'll not come banging on the door and give you those sparse few moments of peace.

    Load More Replies...
    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That YTA does not understand. NoOne aside from the parent themselves abandoned the kid.

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Either they do it to their family/friends, or they're completely clueless. The OP should ask if he wants them to pass on their info so that his sister can use THEM instead.

    Load More Replies...
    Curry on...
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have watched the two year old child. I might have pounded on the bathroom door and insist that she come out, but I wouldn't have left a two old by herself. There are too many ways for her to get hurt. Also, that would be my last time giving her a 'minute' to go to the restroom.

    Lazy Panda 2
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. As a parent you just have to accept that your toilet time ceases to be private. Sure, I can understand the woman wanting a break because raising children is exhausting. But do it properly. Leaving a two year old unsupervised is just a big no-no. So they're both being idiots.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this house not baby proofed and set up so the 2 year old can be left alone for a couple of minutes? Parents leave their children alone in a room overnight and noone calls it abandonment. It's called bedtime. Mums all over the world put 2 year olds in a playpen, or a crib, with a toy or with the tv on, so they can clean, cook, shower, or use the loo. Teaching babies to cope with being "alone" for a few minutes is a basic part of parenting. Think sleep training. Think teaching the toddler to play quietly in their crip until mummy's alarm clock goes off. The problem here is that mom is not teaching the 2 year old that she can play by herself for five minutes without an adult literally in the same room. Instead she's burned out and hiding in the bathroom, neglecting the child while the child gets upset. Letting the kid run around free in a non-child proofed house would clearly be a fail, but FFS put them down in the playpen for a few minutes at a time.

    Debbie
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This... when I was home alone with 3 kids I needed to go to the toilet, do laundry, change the baby, help another kid... It's impossible to have 1 pair of eyes on 3 children (or even 1) all the time. So yes, you put your kids somewhere safe (crib, playpen, tv) and hope they'll not come banging on the door and give you those sparse few moments of peace.

    Load More Replies...
    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That YTA does not understand. NoOne aside from the parent themselves abandoned the kid.

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Either they do it to their family/friends, or they're completely clueless. The OP should ask if he wants them to pass on their info so that his sister can use THEM instead.

    Load More Replies...
    Curry on...
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have watched the two year old child. I might have pounded on the bathroom door and insist that she come out, but I wouldn't have left a two old by herself. There are too many ways for her to get hurt. Also, that would be my last time giving her a 'minute' to go to the restroom.

    Lazy Panda 2
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. As a parent you just have to accept that your toilet time ceases to be private. Sure, I can understand the woman wanting a break because raising children is exhausting. But do it properly. Leaving a two year old unsupervised is just a big no-no. So they're both being idiots.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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