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I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It
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Art, Social Issues5 years ago

I Was Diagnosed With Schizophrenia At The Age Of 17, So I Started Drawing My Hallucinations To Cope With It

I have always been an ‘artist’, I just didn’t realize what that meant until my mental illness appeared. I despise the term ‘mentally ill’; it implies that who I am as a person is fundamentally corrupted and broken.

Unfortunately, as soon as I tell people what I struggle with, I feel like that’s all they see me as. They see the stigma perpetuated by the media, and the inaccurate stereotypes portrayed in Hollywood. That is precisely why I am so open about what I live with.

More info: Instagram

My name is Kate and I’m an 18-year-old artist with schizophrenia

I’ve been ‘diagnosed’ with multiple labels over the years. At the age of 17 I finally was diagnosed with schizophrenia after my parents realized my mental health was getting worse

I draw a lot of my hallucinations as drawing helps me deal with it

In my hallucinations I hear voices, sound effects, random noises, and I often see bugs, faces, and disembodied eyes

Inanimate objects will look like a Van Gogh painting: warped and swirly.

I hallucinate bugs quite often, and my depression makes me feel worthless like a fly. These bug illustrations represent my illness

This is a quote by an artist named Jory, and it was something that spoke to me.

This one crawls out of the vent in my ceiling and makes clicking noises, or I’ll see it crawl out from underneath things

This is a self-portrait. I looked in the mirror and my eyes did this thing. I painted it

I have a lot of intense emotions, and hear voices telling me to light things on fire

Here is an example of the disembodied eyes I see. They surface in a mounds or masses on my walls or floors. They warp and move.

This is Birdie, she sings to me

My self esteem is at its lowest, and I feel insignificant. I always wish I could shapeshift into a “prettier” person

What eyes sometimes look like, with more of those odd colors and circles

Organization, communication, paranoia, depression, anxiety, and managing my emotions are the biggest struggles for me

What I live with isn’t easy and it can be debilitating, but I’m not living out on the streets screaming about alien abductions. That’s not to say there aren’t people out there who are that severe – there are. However, there are also people like me who just stay at home most of the time cooped up in their room. It is a spectrum of symptoms with varying severity levels. Each person’s experience is unique.

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Wezbie
Community Member
5 years ago

I can't imagine what the world would look like through your eyes so thank you for sharing your story and your wonderful drawings! You are incredibly talented! Have you seen the TED talk by Eleanor Longden? I would highly recommend it if you are ever feeling alone in this. I hadn't really seen a lot of people with schizophrenia talking about it and just like with your post, her talking about it helped me understand it all a little better :)

Ok Ha-Neul
Community Member
5 years ago

i watched the video. those were the most well spent 14 minutes of my life. i wish you well

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Marky
Community Member
5 years ago

I think you helped a lot of people right now to understand, to emphatize, in sharing your amazing art with everyone, visualizing what most people cannot imagine is your reality...thank you. You are so beautiful and so talented !

John L
Community Member
5 years ago

My uncle has schizophrenia, and as it was gaining on him, he described it to me once. Its like being in a base universe, with countless ones buzzing in and out, and you can't stop it. He has totally isolated himself, and everyone doesn't understand. But its because he doesn't want others to see him that way. I totally empathize with you dear. Bless you!

Max Stern
Community Member
4 years ago

Good post and definitely one of the ways I see it. And ditto on the isolation. No one with a severe disorder wants to have even friends and loved ones perceive them as having become "other". Which is harsh because even after a break we are still us. Almost No One seems able to understand that.

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Ellie Blazer
Community Member
5 years ago

I'm 19 and have schizophrenia as well; I can definitely say drawing and painting helps immensely when dealing with hallucinations, it turns something horrifying into something beautiful, and I know I wouldn't be able to cope with my illness without art. Your drawings are incredible, and I feel much less alone because of your post- Thank you

Matthias Plunkett
Community Member
5 years ago

I love your work and the spirit in which it was created. Thanks for sharing. On a slightly odd side note, long ago when I was considerably younger, I had an LSD trip that turned pretty horrible (Understatement of my life) The reason I mention it is that I saw things very much like the mounds and masses with eyes. They called themselves Umpsquamadic Peels - Google it, I've done my own things with them. Maybe you will see a common aspect or two? It was often said by the late Terence McKenna, that the shaman of a tribe would often be the schizophrenic who had the gift of vision, who could see things ordinary tribe members couldn't. It's just that society lost something when these gifted people were no longer seen as valuable. I see a person with the gift to express things that ordinary people do not see and I commend your artistry.

Ja Legge
Community Member
5 years ago

Amazingly beautiful brave person for sharing this. Sending luv.

Shaker Al-otaiby
Community Member
5 years ago

You are a beautiful person, you deserve all the happiness in the world; i wish you a fast recovery from all this, thank you for sharing, and we are here for you.

Jamie Beck
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing your story and your art. For only 18, you seem incredibly brave and self-aware. I hope your courage helps other people who are in your shoes, and reaches the greater audience to promote a better understanding of these types of conditions. Stigma continues to hamper all kinds of progress when it comes to illnesses that affect the mind. People like you will help encourage dialogue and find solutions. ;-)

Susann Campbell
Community Member
5 years ago

I also live with this abomination. In my case I couldn't tell anyone for fear of being locked away. Then one day I saw a Dick Cavett tell his story and I went in to the Doctor and told mine. I am now on medication for a number of things that help me some and others to help with depression that helps and then doesn't. I stay away from bad news stories and real life books unless they are funny. I started painting and drawing but not what I saw, (those I kept in my Journal) I painted pictures from pictures that calmed me or pictures that I took of nature . My heart goes out to you and you are so young for new treatments in medications that I know you will get better. You are beautiful and repeat that every time you don't feel that way and take a refreshing walk with a trusted member of the family , even if its only one block and turn around and come home. Never be alone with your DR.s Have mom or dad with you at all times . Even when you come of age! Feel better everyday!

Ellen Pitcole
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you. This is written with such a nurturing heart. excellent ideas

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Ranald Bruce
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you very much Kate for sharing.

Auguste Roubidou
Community Member
5 years ago

You may just be able to perceive what others do not perceive...

Iapetos
Community Member
5 years ago

Probably, but I don't know whether this comment is really helpful or not. If you were schizophrenic, would you rather like to deny your perceptions or would you rather accept them as "real"?

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Edi IP
Community Member
5 years ago

keep drawing Kate..

Dan Hubbert
Community Member
5 years ago

Thanks for sharing this it's a fascinating insight into the 'real' condition rather than the trite Hollywood trope that's always on show.

Lauren Lavigne
Community Member
5 years ago

I could not even imagine what world you live in because of that. Don't look at it as a bad thing. Your different which means your unique and

Claudia Arevalo
Community Member
5 years ago

I also have schizophrenia. I was diagnosed in my late 20s. It is a struggle few can understand. I am lucky that Haldol controls my symptoms and allowed me to get my MBA, work, become a mother, and eventually retire from a long, successful career. I pray others with this horrific disease can find equally successful medical help. Praying for you dear.

Bunnies are better!!
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for helping us to understand more about what your condition is like. Your illustrations are beautiful

Bunnies are better!!
Community Member
5 years ago

just like you

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nitin bhaskar
Community Member
5 years ago

You are beautiful

therealpixie
Community Member
5 years ago

I've read comments telling you how you are "perfect" the way you are. I'd like to see those patronizing folks try to deal daily with what you have to go through, and see how "perfect" they think their life is then! Good luck, sweetheart. I promise, if you stay on your meds, it will get easier as you get into your thirties.

Porto DaMartinica
Community Member
5 years ago

the fact alone that you aren't constantly terrified by seeing and hearing such things and not live in fear is amazing, plus the guts to speak out so openly and calmly about it, plus your talent, you are awesome. no idea if you ever gonna read this, but if your self esteem will reach one day a 10th of the one i and obvioulsy many other readers in here have for you, you'll be all set as far as that one side of your issue goes. i haven't the slightest clue of how to express my respect for you, really. Wish you well

Mgdme
Community Member
5 years ago

Kate, I want to first thank you for sharing your story. It’s so very hard for other people to understand what schizophrenia is, let alone how it impacts a person’s life. Your self-portrait just floored me. It gives me a little clue how my sister feels in this world. It was only until recently that she was able to accept her diagnosis, and this has made a huge improvement in her life. Your acceptance so early, is incredibly brave and I believe will give you an advantage and a positive impact on your life going forward. You need to take those moments when they come along. My mother usually took care of my Sister’s needs, but when she passed, I was very unprepared to help her when her world would spun out of control. Part 1.

Tammy Chapman
Community Member
5 years ago

God Bless You Mgdme. And May Peace, Love and Light guide your way in the years ahead.

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Helen Thomas
Community Member
5 years ago

Wonderful art! And please reconsider your occasional wish to be "prettier". That's just a nonsense concept made up for people who don't have a mind of their own. You have a fine mind to be able to create such artwork. I hope you keep drawing and working with the schizophrenia. I'm 45 and have had depression on and off since I was a teenager. I've decided it's a life's work to get comfortable with the fact that some things knock me far harder than they seem to knock others. I love to immerse myself in art when I can. Oh yes, let other people help you if you can find the right people to help you - I've found it takes a while to discern who is helpful and who isn't.

Lauren Lavigne
Community Member
5 years ago

You are special. God lives you for who you are. Weather you have what you have. (Forgot the name.) you are you. And your perfect the way you

Markus McCloud
Community Member
5 years ago

You are far braver than I. Some of these images sends chills down my spine, and I only gazed upon them once. You, on the other hand, had the courage to revisit these hallucinations, some of them highly unnerving, long enough to make them into art. Thank you for showing me how you perceive the world.

Owen Miller
Community Member
5 years ago

You are an absolute blessing, and your struggle is real, being able to express feelings and show the people how you perceive the world, to me, is what being a true artist is all about, you are unbelievably talented, and what you do is not only therapeutic to you but helps others maybe understand your world and for some, their own. As an artist myself, I feel that I view the world a bit differently, I see objects as shapes and colors and try to dissect the finite details, And when I put it on paper or canvas or when I look at someone else's work, I often wonder about the how and why, what are they thinking about when create the artwork, the uniqueness of every single piece is as inspiring as the person who created it. Keep being that inspiration, and God Bless you

Sue
Community Member
5 years ago

This is very interesting. It is my impression that humans have the ability to sense their surroundings and the very sensitive have a creative brain that translates that to a kind of physical metaphors. Eyes= You are being watched. That kind of thing. Psychics tend to be either auditory, visual or they can even smell things, sometimes. Psychics just see the non threatening bits. The brain translates feelings a bit like a radio picks up frequencies, it has channels. If you are stressed and perhaps a high achiever who worries, it may pick "worry channels". Which is when scary, worried, anxious "vibes" get translated into physical things, voices, etc. It can't be blocked out. It's natural. It might change if the root cause changes. I suspect this, anyway. My best wishes.

Lauren Lavigne
Community Member
5 years ago

Are. BElive in YOUrself

Andy Horgan
Community Member
5 years ago

I have schizophrenia, and it's horrible. props for getting through today. keep up the art, it's fantastic. never had a visual hallucination so i cant even imagine how scary that is. i used to describe it as like you've woken up in some wierd alternate dimension where all the things you thought you knew were suddenly wrong. but as the days go by i'm starting to belive it actually is all in my head (with a few wobbles now and then). stay strong! P.s i'm super jealous of your drawing skills

Magnus Wilson
Community Member
5 years ago

I write about my hallucinations to cope, I can't draw worth a damn so it is easier for me to write. I would also make stories about them and put them in RPG games I would run to help remind me that they are not real.

Camila Silva
Community Member
5 years ago

I had no idea. You are so talented. My aunt has schizophrenia and, well, I have to admit that I have never understand her. Thank you. You made me realize how hard, full of wonders and even scary her world might be. I dont think that people really understand this mental illness. Thank you, thank you. You are so extremly talented, beautifull and BRAVE. And god... young! You are my new idol in the world.

Julian Bolt
Community Member
5 years ago

I like the bird, and you are the prettiest thing I've seen all day 😊

Olivia Kennett
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing with us! I certainly now have a better understanding of Schizophrenia thanks to your amazing art. I think we ought to encourage as many schizophrenic people as possible to do something like this- draw their hallucinations, because it helps people to actually see what can be an awful solitary experience, and seeing is believing and understanding. Keep up the good work and just so you know, you are brave, badass and beautiful! And Don't let your demons tell you otherwise!

Joey Wilson
Community Member
5 years ago

Schizophrenia doesn't make you broken or obsolete. I believe that mental illness often co-exists with positive, unique traits.. I feel your ability to create art demonstrates this. You have a lot to offer the world, so hang in there, and don't let it overcome you.

Claire Lynch
Community Member
5 years ago

Kate an 18 year old artist with schizophrenia who is beautiful. That was my thoughts when i read that first headline. Thank you so much for sharing your visual hallucinations. Some of them look scary and I hope drawing them helps. I hope you have more like the bird who sings. I have been a psychiatric nurse for 31years and this is a very powerful way to communicate what you are experiencing. It is fantastic That you are taking control of the illness and not allowing it to control you. Some people take years to do that and some people don't manage it. thank you so much Kate an inspiration to others. Good luck and i hope you have a happy life. Claire

Frimm injim
Community Member
5 years ago

You must be exhausted all the time. Thank you for sharing.

Luc Mailloux
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing. Though I am not schizophrenic myself, one of my past best friends has schizophrenia and I've been present for intense psychotic episodes of others dealing with the delusions. The stereotypes and stigmas are often inaccurate, but I hope you realize these things are driven by fear, and not hate (although fear can develop into hate). And I'm not sure education can erase that fear due to the ways schizotypical behavior manifests itself. Knowing my buddy was experiencing a auditory hallucination (voices) turned my confusion into fear, so ironically and sadly, my education in psychology led to both the understanding of my friend's issues and the end of our friendship. :/

Lisa Jin
Community Member
5 years ago

hello, that's sad. why did it end your friendship? Sorry but I'm not sure it's helpful to say that about behaviour - suggesting that stigma is justified generally feels rather upsetting. It's like racism - I'm not white and people might say Chinese people all do maths - if they said that and my friends just said that's prejudiced but I get your point, it's not helpful. I don't have the above conditions myself, but I dislike stigmas very much. I'm studying psychology too, but I found many psychologists to be more kind and understanding of things... can I ask what went wrong? I have heard people describe auditory hallucinations - can I ask why it turned confusion into fear? Thanks.

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Jana Montgomery
Community Member
5 years ago

Wow...my heart bleeds for you. I am in the bottom of the pit myself, trying to fight the urge to end it all, once and for all...it is a fight, hour to hour, minute to minute, second to second. ...and nobody understands.

Tammy Chapman
Community Member
5 years ago

PLEASE keep up the fight. Each second, every minute, every hour. Keep clawing your way up and that light will get closer. It has taken me 20 years of hell to escape that damn pit. But it is possible. I tried to do it for my family. I tried to do it for my daughter, who had to grow up with me being...well.....me. Now she's 22, married, and will be an RN by Christmas. It didn't work when I was trying to get better for other people because every day I knew I was letting them down. Four years ago I made up my mind that I wanted to stick around for a while, and I fought like hell to do just that. I found the right psychiatrist and meds. And I worked to retrain my mind. Finally, after 20 years of wanting to die, I WANTED to SURVIVE!!! I NEEDED to SURVIVE!!! I learned to rely on my mental abilities, and I was able to change some things. I wish you luck. Never Give Up!!! Keep Fighting!!! May Peace, Love and Light guide your way!!

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Diane Poulin
Community Member
5 years ago

My granddaughter, 12, has recently been diagnosed as schizophrenic. She, too, is an artist...I think her counselor is on the right track with art therapy, but that is just the beginning. I wish you the best, Kate, and thank you very much for sharing.

Tiffany M. Valentine
Community Member
5 years ago

As a mental health advocate, this will help a lot of people understand mental illness and how it's just as important as physical health. You are an inspiration.

Blue Berry-Wayleen
Community Member
5 years ago

Your drawings are really fascinating. It makes me understand better what you can feel and go through and i think it's a big step towards being understood and considered, aknowledged by people not just as someone who's said to be 'mentally ill'. So keep drawing, keep showing the world what it feels like. I hope it helps you and reassure you. I'd like to follow your art somewhere, do you have DeviantArt maybe or a webpage?

DancingToMyself
Community Member
5 years ago

Instagram

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Nathan Duval
Community Member
5 years ago

Society is dumb and superficial yet it's influence feels strong. I think you are a lot stronger by opening up about your everyday experiences. You are someone I'd hope to meet someday...I wonder if Salvador Dali hallucinated. That would explain some shit.

Muhammad Usman Shahid
Community Member
5 years ago

Your drawings are awesome. Keep drawing :)

get in
Community Member
5 years ago

Many of the world's greatest artists were influenced by schizophrenia and other disorders. Keep taking your medications if they help you. You have no need to dream of taking other people's beauty from them, you are a very beautiful woman.

grace1289
Community Member
5 years ago

well said

Anirudh Pratap Singh
Community Member
5 years ago

I do t know what the world thinks ,I just wanted to share what I feel.I feel that you are not a Normal girl ,you are special ,you are an Inspiration for everyone,I really like your artwork and am looking forward for more .

Matt Brooks
Community Member
5 years ago

I have schizoaffective disorder and I'm an artist. I can relate. Not with visual hallucinations, but paranoia, depression, etc. I followed you on IG and hope for the best in your endeavors. Good stuff! :)

Spike Robinson
Community Member
5 years ago

You are beautiful. And significant. And I think that your art is absolutely transcendent and what a great way to cope. I, too, deal with the hell of low self-esteem, but I don't have hallucinations piled on top of it - you are a brave, brave woman, and today you have been my inspiration. I wish you the best!

Stephanie Torres
Community Member
5 years ago

sending all my love!

Shruti Naik
Community Member
5 years ago

Great decision to reach out and share. Hope more people follow your lead. The illustrations are beautiful.

kelly flower
Community Member
5 years ago

ur strong for even dealing with this mental illness. I can't even imagine

kelly flower
Community Member
5 years ago

love ur art as well and ur pretty hehe

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Isabella dos Santos Dorneles
Community Member
1 year ago

Amazing, you, your work, everything!!!

Moises Barnes
Community Member
5 years ago

Beautiful art Kate. I'm sorry that you have this condition. I hope for all the best in your life, keep shining and keep your head up :)

I❤️My cat
Community Member
5 years ago

She I absolutely beautiful

I❤️My cat
Community Member
5 years ago

*is

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ann cordier
Community Member
5 years ago

Very brave to help people understand mental health challenges through your art. I'm wondering if you drew similar creatures in your artwork before realizing that they were your hallucinations? Be strong and thanks for sharing. Peace to you😚

Happee Love
Community Member
5 years ago

Girl, you don't need another person's beauty. You are as beautiful as you are now. Unique and special in your own way.

Jerry Bradford
Community Member
5 years ago

I get the visions and all and I'm truly sorry you experience them.I think your courageous choice to turn them into art and share your story is an amazingly strong thing to do.As far as your self esteem and your wish to steal beauty,well you already are very beautiful.I do realize that anyone can lack self esteem,mine is low too.But seeing a rose that feels it's a weed.well that sucks because you deserve to experience the beauty that you are.I wish you the best and applaud your strength.

Kevin Stein
Community Member
5 years ago

Your images are excellent...I would like to suggest posting them on something like Society 6.

Louis Reznicek
Community Member
5 years ago

Amazing. I will go home and draw mine now

Louis Reznicek
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for this, youre an inspiration

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person (i think)
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing this.

Irit Juviler
Community Member
5 years ago

Some people take drugs to have a glimpse of your world =)

Rosa Greyhound
Community Member
5 years ago

This is amazing. Literally amazing

Franziska G.
Community Member
5 years ago

Wow.... shocking how many people with shizophrenia are around here.... best wishes to all of you. This looks extremely challenging and my own mental illness looks like a park walk in comparison.

Ellie Gill
Community Member
5 years ago

Hi! I too was diagnosed with Scizophrenia, at the age of 16, im am artist also. I find it amazing that youre actually able to do artwork like this, my hallucinations are very different to yours and often cant find the capability to do the artwork I want to do. This is very inspirational and im glad youre able go do this, but im worried this glorifies this mental illness - which is the last thing we want to happen, this mental illness is not art, or an inspiration for beauty, its a horrible condition that makes it hard to even go day to day with. Im glad you are able to live and thrive from it in this way, but spare a thought for those thousands that cant

Sarah Hancock
Community Member
5 years ago

There is nothing glorified about these illustrations. They are a snapshot of her reality--like any artist capturing their perception of reality. In no way does it minimize the experiences of others.

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Kirstie Schraf
Community Member
5 years ago

You are really amazing. Don't let the glitches in your brain ever tell you otherwise! This is a really creative and splendid way to connect with the rest of us and let us in on your world. Thank you for bravely posting it!

SisterMary PollyEsther
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing this. Much love.

Mehdi Iranii
Community Member
5 years ago

I dont know on which part of the earth are you presently but you are a human ,you have life & you are one of the most unique soul ever. Not because you are already famous world wide but because you are dealing with such a phase,even brave enough to be creative about it on ways of expression. Takes gutts . Goodluck to you ,you wonderful woman. Best wishes ~Another soul like you ~ ( Probably )

Eric Trahan
Community Member
5 years ago

Me too. Me and my mom..we can deal. we all can. Keep up your good lil self okay

Hazel Inch
Community Member
5 years ago

I also was diagnosed I'm currently in therapy I'm soon to be turning 14. I hear voices and see things I've tried drawing them but im not the best artist. I also tried writing about it in songs or poems but I'm not very good at English and couldn't do that either. So I'm a bit stuck on what I can do

DancingToMyself
Community Member
5 years ago

You are so sweet and sooo young! You can learn how to express yourself in the most amazing ways! You know that you're not alone. Your beautiful mind will help you to decide what's the best way possible to explain yourself. I'm sending love.

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Shehryar Khawar
Community Member
5 years ago

The struggle is real, I understand. You are my hero. Keep on hanging in there. Bravo!

Kristi Zoebelein
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing these beautiful drawings and paintings! Love and hugs to you!

Sophie G
Community Member
5 years ago

I'd almost say 'kewl!' but...but.....

Shaker Al-otaiby
Community Member
5 years ago

Oh, i forget to mention how incredibly talented of an artist you are as well 😊

Fredy Wijaya
Community Member
5 years ago

she is pretty lady

Felipe ORyan
Community Member
1 year ago

I dont belive you have real Schizophrenia. At least I can't see it in your art.

Samson Eze
Community Member
2 years ago

Read this years ago..just remembered it as I was writing a song about it and I decided to find this article again. It’s really tough and something ignored in My country.

Cycade
Community Member
3 years ago

I have alot of this happen to me and im finally glad to know that it's real ya know, like that it's not just me who sees vivid things like this. Even tho it is a struggle it's nice to know I'm not alone. I also am starting a journal similar to this

Bluebell Rizzi
Community Member
3 years ago

Good on you for being so honest about it. A friend of mine had something similar when she was younger, one of the things she saw was a fetus that floated above her bed. Would be so interesting to know the sciences behind all of it

Hayden Rae
Community Member
3 years ago

I myself suffer from Psychosis, similar to your condition, but not so severe I assume, I see visions of a black mass shadow person with red eyes, sometimes it’s bright sometimes they are dark, it’s a really tall figure but always try’s to bland in with things, the voices I hear are like mummering, but trust me it’s gets to you, there have been times where I have lashed out at people telling them to speak up not realising it’s not them... I try to draw and write to distract myself from it all but it helps in a little way I suppose!

Engin Canan
Community Member
4 years ago

country: turkey city: ankara / schizophrenia treatment. mr. erol tangut (ilm-i sayik) a knowledge (father's lineage and mother's lineage) tevbe-i sayik book

Engin Canan
Community Member
4 years ago

schizophrenic kate, you turkey ankara erol sayik tangut and ilm-i sayik (ilm-i sayik)

Engin Canan
Community Member
4 years ago

country: turkey city: ankara / schizophrenia treatment. mr. erol tangut (ilm-i sikik) a knowledge (father's lineage and mother's lineage)

Tim McGrath
Community Member
4 years ago

I have a question, I hope you will answer. How do you know you have schizophrenia. If you saw someone draw things that resembled yours, almost to the same detail, could it be schizophrenia? My GF saw your article. I always tell her about my "experiences", but she pointed out that I was drawing things similar to someone who has schizophrenia. She's big into psychology, but for once, she was more interested that the things I was drawing were much like your drawings. Things that appear in a rainbow type color pattern, but things that are unnatural. Sorry to bother you with this. I know it may seem very strange. I drew a booklet of things I saw, that were just there, and then gone. She held up my pad to the screen and showed me a very similar drawing. SO, can two people who don't know each other, experience similar "hallucinations" I'm kind of amazed to be honest. Not like you can tell people you see things. I'm just babbling now. What are your thoughts.

Tim McGrath
Community Member
4 years ago

I have a question

Free Radical
Community Member
4 years ago

It's not schizophrenia you have but demons around you. They are trying to to drive you crazy and to push you either to commit a suicide or to kill others. I've had this before. You can get rid of it do you go and see an Imam who knows to recite what they fall "ruqya". I seriously recommend you go to a nearest mosque and ask them about jinns and help you to get rid of it. Search about jinns in Islam on the Internet. You'll immediately realize what it is about. Good luck.

Nancy Murphy Carroll
Community Member
4 years ago

Does your medication help?

Shantal James
Community Member
4 years ago

This is one of the most meaningful things I have seen this year... i don't actually know what to say. You have blown me away... the truth of it all is both mesmerising and terrifying... I'm stunned... thank you very much for sharing

Trip Conley
Community Member
4 years ago

Your not alone in this I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder so I too see and hear voices that tell me to do things but I also have Bipolar mood disorder as well so it makes me out of wack most of the time and leaving the house unless it sounds interesting is hard to do. I've ever gone to cutting myself to reflect be entertained. Finally for my senior project I wrote about mental health so people can fully understand that what it's really like to be diagnosed with the many disorders that are out there. I found that doing things I loved before I was diagnosed helps me like watching Star Wars or Batman and Funko Pops but people don't understand that it is difficult to live with this. Don't let your Schizophrenia get the better of you I know we are all different with how we deal with it but you are a pretty person if your religious then use that to help you.If you ever need to talk about it with someone who also has Schizophrenia then you can talk to me

Eva Huizinga
Community Member
4 years ago

Thank you for your insight about your illness...you are a great artist and have a lot of courage!

José cruz y corro
Community Member
4 years ago

I was diagnosed when I was 15, I know how painful this state of mind can be sometimes. Before I was diagnosed, I remember that I used to hurt myself and then forgetting about it, hearing noises and seeing things that just weren't there, remembering things differently, being depressed every day, all day. I just wanted to share this with you because, through your drawings I realized you are an amazing, beautiful person. Our minds can be difficult to live with, but I learned that they are also special since we experience things in a way no one else can, which of course can be horrible sometimes, but through those awful experiences, beautiful things such as your drawings can exist.

SRAMLNS
Community Member
4 years ago

I write stories a lot and these hallucinations look like monsters from my stories. I can't believe that people would actually have to live through that.

Zzz
Community Member
5 years ago

Hi. I think some people are rude to people with mental problems just because they know nothing about it and others are just assholes. I didn't know much about it before I read "I morgen var jeg alltid en løve". I wish all people read it to understand this condition. You are brave and beautiful don't ever forget that, wish you all the best, sending bear hugs.

Leila Alban
Community Member
5 years ago

Oh, my god! It's... something! This is the first time I can see what you, Kate, and people like you see. Please keep on sharing your wonderful (even scary) things you see. THANK YOU!

Susan Schoner
Community Member
5 years ago

FREAK!!

Kimberly Youngblood Julian
Community Member
5 years ago

I see nothing but a beautiful, talented young lady with so much to give the world. Keep up the good work! Use your art and the gift you've been given to help others who experience the challenges of schizophrenia.

Tom Vendel
Community Member
5 years ago

Amazing. U inspired me to draw the beings i've seen too. I started seeing weird entitys like your drawings after smoking dmt. The craziest thing about it is is that i'm sure they're real. In a mind frequence dimension or something. Anyway, a few of them were strangly part of me, like aspects of me. And some went away after fully accepting them. Its out of this world for some, but its pretty obvious that people gonna have to wake up from whats out there

Mandy Martinez
Community Member
5 years ago

Wow, you are a great artist! Thanks for sharing, keep it up! Also, in the comments there is talk of a video....? Was it taken off maybe? I don't see it...

Clayton Johnson
Community Member
5 years ago

I hate to tell you. I don't think this is schizophrenia. I think you completely lack the same receptors that LSD shuts off. It's rare but it happens.

Mei Godschild
Community Member
5 years ago

You are brave! See if you like http://facebook.com/3in1GodChangesUs.

Narda Wakoluk
Community Member
5 years ago

You wondrous being...sharing your world-view is so very important to everyone else becoming evolved. Thankyou for sharing. :)

Sidi Suleiman
Community Member
5 years ago

You are gifted..

Rochelle Jameson
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you. The lightening 's' as in the band acdc or kiss, is satanic occult symbolism. The Messiah and upside down cross also. I am so concerned that your torment is from "the dark side". It doesn't want you to know that Jesus is much more powerful. Can you try saying "in Jesus name be gone" or "by the blood of the lamb you have no authority here." Or anything along those lines. My heart goes out to you.

Cynthia Bethea
Community Member
5 years ago

You are a beautiful person, inside and out. The illness in your brain is not anything you can control. While your art is amazing and helps you cope, I would strongly suggest that you seek a medication that will enable you to suffer less and get out more. They will have side effects, so be your own advocate and learn about the different formulations, efficacies, and side effects. Try until you find one that achieves the best results for you and the good outweighs the bad. You do not have to suffer like this. Best regards

Vladimir Tiltu
Community Member
5 years ago

please just don't get caught by this "wave". If this is your photo, you don't seem to have major problems. You re right, in this case it is not exactly an illness, it is a state. Your drawings express a good and very talented hand. But the reality is not that bad, I would say there is nothing more romantic than reality :)

Bert Arnett
Community Member
5 years ago

I am 45 and have schizophrenia. Not as visual as yours, mine more aural but keep up the good fight young lady. Never let anyone tell you you are not worth it. I understand the struggle and your drawings are great :) Much love to you and may your life be blessed with people who care.

Elena Gadeva
Community Member
5 years ago

You are really talented, keep up with you art.It helps not only sharing your feelings but be who you really are and feel good about it. I surely can't feel what you feel but I've felt the power of art and the positive influence that it has on me, even in the hardest moments of inner struggle with myself.

Mario Murdoc
Community Member
5 years ago

im blown away

John Dermitzakis
Community Member
5 years ago

First thing I thought after looking at your drawing and reading what you wrote was I wanted to hug you of course I can't exactly understand what you have to go trough every day but suffering from a constant urge to harm others I know how exhausting it can get so the best thing I can do through the internet is say don't allow it to break you and because I liked your drawings here you go I think it is fitting at least some verses :P (because I know people are gonna bitch no I'm not trying to hit on you through the net) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unzSe-36sSE

Matt Hensley
Community Member
5 years ago

i loved your article and your art. I wish i had your talent. I too suffer from the same affliction as you. I spent many many years being misdiagnosed. I'm 39 now and i wasn't officially diagnosed with Schizophrenia until i was nearly 26. And, as i'm sure your well aware of yourself, it was no picnic all those years of not knowing what was going with me. And why i couldn't find anything that really seemed to help. But i have always been somewhat of "doodler". But even at my best times I don't have the talent as you have. It was suggested to me by a doctor to try basically the same thing you do. But i've never been able to really put to paper (to my satisfaction, anyway) what all is going on in my head. Or the things i see. But seeing your drawings and reading the captions you put with them is awesome. I can literally feel where your coming from. Its a new and a little weird feeling. I wish you nothing but the best in the future. And thank you so much for sharing

Terry Johnson
Community Member
5 years ago

A heart-breaking illness but the beauty and brilliance within you shine through in your artwork! Be well!

Ulises Folh
Community Member
5 years ago

Love the bird. And when you are feeling "insignificant" don't wish that you felt different. FEEL IT for as long as it is there. The universe is not in a constant state all the time. Sooner or later this feeling will have to go. Whether you like it or not.

Ulises Folh
Community Member
5 years ago

When a voice inside of you tell you to set things on fire, why take it literally? Fire transforms things from one state to another. Maybe you can change the world around you. Not necessarily burn it.

Annie Waters
Community Member
5 years ago

I really like your art work, your style is unique and engaging. have you thought about exhibiting? Wishing you your wishes.

Stavan Parikh
Community Member
5 years ago

Hello Kate, I can really get what you hv been going through. I hv a similar story like you, being labelled with many mental illnesses before I was diagnosed with social anxiety. You are really beautiful girl. And through your sketches I can really see that you are extremely talented. I would like to say sincerely that you are a gift in this world, just fight against all odds and trust me you will be able to get the life you want.

Desmond Miles
Community Member
5 years ago

I think if I tried drawing mine, it would make it slightly more difficult to ignore...

Michelle Faith
Community Member
5 years ago

My husband has schizophrenia as well, more severe than yours. I would love to reach out to you and maybe help in anyway that I can. Please look me up on facebook. https://www.facebook.com/guineapigs87

Louis
Community Member
5 years ago

Wow! keep up with you work, it's brilliant!

Michelle Robinson
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing. You are beautiful inside and out.

Debi Lettieri-Goepel
Community Member
5 years ago

You are brave and so talented. Wishing you every happiness

Julie Gilbert
Community Member
5 years ago

Dear Katie, you are a very very good illustrator. May I suggest an on line distance art course. You would be excellent and it could be a fantastic career that you could persue from home if you would prefer that. Regards Julie Gilbert xx

Daniela Ciman
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing this. This is so beautiful. My late brother had schizophrenia and this has helped me to see more of what he was going through. A beautiful soul is so much more important than a beautiful face:) always remember that. You are beautiful inside regardless of how you look on the outside. You have made my soul happy today, by sharing this, I really feel that is why we were blessed with people with schizophrenia, to keep us present and aware of what the soul feels, sees and needs as soul food.

Jay Tsang
Community Member
5 years ago

Your work amazes me, thank you for sharing the world you see with your eyes. Also, this makes me think of a Anime Called the Magus bride. Keep up the good work.

Alex Yavorskyy
Community Member
5 years ago

it reminds Kubin paintings

Sandrine Hervé
Community Member
5 years ago

Your art is truly inspiring. It's just sad that people will judge you negatively because of that and claim it's god gift or satan work. It not the best way to raise awareness, it just scares people even more... truly not everyone is as strong as you. Keep up and I hope it helps you feel better!

Chris Calkins
Community Member
5 years ago

Kate, thanks for your courage in putting this out into the world. There is a new student group starting at Penn State called Students With Schizophrenia, their founder is Cecilia McGough and I know she would be open to talking with you if you ever want to connect. Here is a link to the groups facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/studentswithschizophrenia/

Fox Hardy
Community Member
5 years ago

I love how all of the Religious fanatics come out of the woodwork to tell someone who has a mental illness with hallucinations that Jesus and God is real 😂😂😂😂. Religious or not that just sounds ridiculous. Her hallucinations are more realistic...they've actually been seen by someone. Faith healing people with schizophrenia is a HORRIBLE idea. They are often hyper-focused on religion and base many of their actions on what their delusions and hallucinations tell them to do. So if one day she decided to kill a bunch of babies because God, angels, doves, or Jesus told her to do it you assholes would feel pretty damn stupid. Oh wait it has happened. A mother of 8 killed her children because of a dove told her to and she took it as a sign from God. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/schizophrenia-at-its-very-depths-drove-mother-to-kill-eight-children-20170503-gvyf42.html

Vicki Henderson
Community Member
5 years ago

Wow Kate, you are incredibly unique! I empathize with you and your struggle with Schizophrenia. This illness is in my family and my sister always talks about bugs being in her ears and I see how my mother often feels interrogated by these voices that speak to her and seeing lightning fly across a room, to me these are definitely highly perceptive sensory development unexplained things that occur to many which cannot be explained. Much love to you Kate, keep up your artwork, your inspiring many who are struggling, I'm very certain of that. Bless you!

Night Angel
Community Member
5 years ago

Girl, your gorgeous. I don't pretend to know how you feel. The struggle is real. Way to make your struggles into something beautiful

George Boorer
Community Member
5 years ago

Have you tried doing other things like hobbies , sport, gardening. Even if you dont feel like it. It will help you crawl your way out of this depression

Noo Dle
Community Member
5 years ago

your seeing other dimensional stuff your not crazy.....

Grant Allen
Community Member
5 years ago

You are beautiful and your artwork is wonderful. You also seem very intelligent. Thanks for sharing your work. Hope your day is going well!

Richard Lawson
Community Member
5 years ago

Brilliant art, great writing. Inspiration to others living with schizophrenia. Thanks.

Teodora Hansen
Community Member
5 years ago

Beautiful and fascinating are pale words!

Byron Bright
Community Member
5 years ago

I have schizoaffective disorder and I have to deal with hallucinations as well. Most of mine are auditory hallucinations and those are bad enough, but the visual hallucinations can be the worst. Thankfully my meds keep a lot of these away now. I still hear voices quite a bit and I also deal with the low self-esteem and self worth, or lack thereof. I sincerely hope you can find some relief from it, because I know it can be hell. A very lonely hell. Much love to you.

Tommie Wilhite
Community Member
5 years ago

I want to thank you, my 45 year old daughter is schizophrenic, and your pictures help me to understand what she cannot or will not explain.

Auraiam Dasep
Community Member
5 years ago

These are lovely paintings and illustration, keep making more. I see it as your muse speaking to you. Excellent work.

Polaris Garfield
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you. You are a beautiful and brave young artist. I agree with a lot of your feelings regarding the term "mental illness" and the loss of personhood a diagnosis often causes. Your life has value, especially to the memory of those who lost their freedom or their lives to schizophrenia. It sounds like your folks are supportive & loving, too, which is such a blessing. Thanks again for sharing your art. There are many galleries that would be thrilled to support you, too!

Polaris Garfield
Community Member
5 years ago

You are a beautiful and brave young artist. Thank you. I agree with a lot of your feelings about the label "mental illness" and the loss of personhood a diagnosis can cause. Your life is valuable, especially to the memory of those who lost their lives or freedom to schizophrenia.

Ale Perea
Community Member
5 years ago

You are very talented. Thank you for sharing a piece of your world with us.

Alexander Necrosoul
Community Member
5 years ago

Your drawings are amazing and you are very pretty. -Necrosoul

Elena Nakovska
Community Member
5 years ago

You are beautiful more than you can understand, so when you feel insignifficant, read this! It' s amazing what you experience and even though it seems quite difficult to deal with the negativeness, it is incerdibly creative! Hang in there and thanks for sharing! Elea- violinist

Grapes
Community Member
5 years ago

Thanks for this touching lines and pictures. I would really like to help you - but i dont know how i could.

Dag Kristoffersen
Community Member
5 years ago

Awesome that you have found such a positive way of expressing and processing your experiences. I wish you all the best!

Dag Kristoffersen
Community Member
5 years ago

It is so awesome that you have found such a positive way to express and process your experience. I wish you all the best!

Slava Chemodanov
Community Member
5 years ago

Your drawings are amazing! Also you are quite beautiful so you don't have to steal anyone else's

Richard Austen
Community Member
5 years ago

This is frankly terrifying. Constant hallucinations of the images you have drawn is like living in a constant horror movie. I have only had one hallucination when I was about 8 and had the Measles and saw giant blue balls chasing me - fever of 103 etc. I am 43 and remember it to this day and that was just a one off experience. To have walls moving and weird spidery things coming out of the ceiling. I don't know - we need to triple the number of scientists working on this stuff and working triple shifts. It's as if something has hijacked the imagination center of the brain and made a wrong connection to the visual and other sensory parts of the brain.

Ana Azimi
Community Member
5 years ago

You have a amazing talent, your drawings are so important in helping people understand. Please know you are beautiful person inside & out. I wish you happiness. 💞

Sabby Ra
Community Member
5 years ago

What a moving story. I'm struggling with anxiety, mild depression and managing Emotions Daily. Your story gives me hope and the feeling I m not alone in this. I hope the comments and likes here give you the same feeling. Stay strong!

The Great Fox
Community Member
5 years ago

Can I write to you. I think I can relate pretty well. Sorry to bother if you want to be left alone though.

Andrew Moore
Community Member
5 years ago

A Canadian psychiatrist named Abram Hoffer found a temporary cure for schizophrenia via Niacin over 50 years ago. There's a documentary called, "Feed Your Head" (2010).

Ben Petersen
Community Member
5 years ago

Kate, I host a D&D group and I had 2 thoughts about your situation. First, I was thinking your hallucinations would actually make great monsters for D&D for players to battle against, which led to my second thought which was, that may be a possible therapeutic solution for you. Just a thought, maybe it's good, maybe it's complete crap. I would like to talk with you about it sometime, however, if you are up for it.

Arrshie Singh
Community Member
5 years ago

oh dear you are so gorgeous and so positive, what lovely work of art. Stay blessed

Ella Sherman
Community Member
5 years ago

That would scare the crap outta me. She is so brave and smart and wonderful at drawing. I'm glad she could find something to cope

Kimberly Cline
Community Member
5 years ago

Your art is truly amazing. I hope you can continue to use it as a means to help people better understand schizophrenia and mental illness.

Kimberly Cline
Community Member
5 years ago

The stigma that many times comes with mental illness needs to be erased and I applaud people like yourself who are honest and help otherssee

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Doyle Bailey
Community Member
5 years ago

i want to talk to kate

Doyle Bailey
Community Member
5 years ago

i want to talk to kate

Mary Collaco
Community Member
5 years ago

I just wanted to say that you are very beautiful and very talented .. and it hurts that he did that to you.. unfortunately people are like that and it was not your fault..

Miss MonMon
Community Member
5 years ago

You are very talented. Thanks for showing this through your art. It gives me a better understanding. Some of the eye drawings are very similar to my artworks, which is spooky.

Teri Shaw
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing! My son developed schizophrenia at age 17 and has been unable to share what he deals with on a daily basis. I agree, the stigma is prevalent, but as you share your experiences, people will begin to understand the reality of this serious illness. Keep moving forward.

Jo-Ann Innes
Community Member
5 years ago

I have a friend who struggles w it. Thanks to your sharing your story, I feel like I can understand alittle better, what he deals with

Kimberly Grau (Red Moth Art)
Community Member
5 years ago

You're quite a pretty lady,so don't feel bad! It's also really nice to see how you quantify your illness through art. It's a way to connect to the world, even if we all don't understand it. On a more personal note, I have to say, that it's comforting how you acknowledge what you have, but still are not held down by it. I wish my family members whoa also suffers from mental illness would be more open like that. It would really help them and everyone around them. Oh well, dare to dream. :-) Great job and inspiring story.

Tari Anne Kareidis
Community Member
5 years ago

I can't imagine what a horror it must be to live with schizophrenia. My heart goes out to you. I love your artwork and I'm glad you are able to find an outlet. I wish you every blessing.

Mindi Oakes
Community Member
5 years ago

Hi Kate. I wish you lived near me. I would be a friend. My brother was once diagnosed as Schizophrenic because at that time medical "wisdom" believed that only schizophrenics have hallucinations. I later discovered that my parents, my brother, and I ALL have different forms of bipolar disorder. My brother had hallucinations, couldn't deal with side effects of all the "wrong" meds, and eventually put himself out of his misery. I constantly have to resist the same urge. I struggle with most of your emotional problems too. I applaud you for being public and I hope you don't have to stay in your solitude more than you want to. God bless you. You ARE one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, in case you can't tell. Your artworks are very attractive to me. I wish you a happy life. Please let me know if I can ever help you.

Caroline dial
Community Member
5 years ago

mercancía no inserta un número de calorías, sin embargo, desencadena una reacción robusta junto con las sustancias químicas que se materializan para estar ahora en el cuerpo.

Guillaume de Bassompierre
Community Member
5 years ago

I read a wonderful autobiographic illustrated novel written about the childhood memories of a man whose brother suffered from acute Epilepsia. It's not quite the same as schizophrenia, obviously, but his treatment of how the illness affected his brother and his relationship with the world is something that could probably touch you. The fact that it is beautifully illustrated makes it all the more poignant. Here's a link to its English translation (originally written in French). Hope you enjoy it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epileptic_(comics)

John Clarke
Community Member
5 years ago

Really great to see how you are finding your own unique path through the mire and even better that we get to see your artwork - I love it.

John Clarke
Community Member
5 years ago

Great to see how you are finding your own uniquely creative way through the mire and what a bonus for me and many others that you are prepared to share your artwork.

Nate Becker
Community Member
5 years ago

Truly amazing. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your life.

Алексей Костин
Community Member
5 years ago

it was so interesting to see world through your mind. I remember professor Nesh who had same diagnose. It doesn't stop him to learn mathematic and receive Nobile award. I hope you will be ok.

Brandyce LeeAnne
Community Member
5 years ago

I think you're drying should be in an art display. I hope they put you on antidepressants I have bipolar and they help me a lot. Therapy I also helped and talking with my friends and family. I don't want you to live your life cooped up yes it is in illness and yes you have to deal with it just like I do with mine. You are already an artist and a public speaker so your illness has helped you to figure out who you are and the best outlet for you is a form of therapy not just for you but for many many others because you shared your story. By the way my favorite pictures are the bird and the redeye I would buy those in an art gallery. You are a beautiful person inside and out thank you for sharing your story it touched my heart 😊

Susan Young
Community Member
5 years ago

You seem to have a real handle on your illness and that's probably why you are the master of your life. I don't want to make light of this awful illness, but have you ever had a "good" hallucination? Wouldn't it be great if you thought you saw thousands of butterflies come out of your ceiling vent? I've never heard of any schizophrenic having a benign hallucination.

Ian Powell
Community Member
5 years ago

Go Kate..! :-)

La-a Ly
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing ! You are very very talented ! I could feel emotions just by looking at your drawings... Love from France, and take care <3

La-a Ly
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing ! You are very very talented ! I could feel emotions just by looking at your drawings... Love from France, take care <3

Adler Eon
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing this. It's good to learn how you guys live with your symptoms

Melody Hunter
Community Member
5 years ago

I'm so sorry about how you saw yourself in the mirror. Your picture is absolutely gorgeous. You are very beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you different. God bless you.

MaddySquidCat 7
Community Member
5 years ago

yOU'RE BEAUTIFUL MY GIRL, YOUR ART IS AMAZING I WISH I COULD DRAW LIKE THAT! :(

Juelda Salisbury Hanson
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for your courage and sharing your amazing art!

Dirty Me
Community Member
5 years ago

Your humanfaced spider is just coincident of my previous thought,A incomplete thought.Amazing.The illusion Supernatural.

Steve Shagwell
Community Member
5 years ago

This is what strength looks like. You kinda made my day. Keep persevering

Lisa Naomi Herrmann
Community Member
5 years ago

Your drawings are amazing, YOU are amazing for sharing this! You are beautiful, I wish you all the best <3

John Beardsley
Community Member
5 years ago

when I was college age in the 60's I had two friends who developed schizophrenia. Two of the best and brightest. you seem to be handling if amazingly well. God speed.

John Beardsley
Community Member
5 years ago

When I was college age I had two friends develop schizophrenia. two of the best and brightest. you seem to be handling it much better than they were able to. God speed to you.

Robert Wood
Community Member
5 years ago

This was something I knew existed but this has helped me understand what the condition is like. I have had hallucinations when I was younger but not in a while. Thanks Kate, please keep up the art work.

Lisa Finlay
Community Member
5 years ago

You are beautiful and so is your artwork. Thank you so much for telling others what your world is like.

Cathie Warboy
Community Member
5 years ago

First of all, I need to say that before I even looked beyond your photo to any of your art, I told myself what a pretty young woman you are. I am so sorry that you, and others, go through this. I haven't seen the TED talk that Wezbie referenced, but I will be sure to do so. Bless you all.

Shmarya Rosenberg
Community Member
5 years ago

You're a *very* talented artist and what you've done by posting your art and writing here is very important. It will help many people. Please consider expanding this into a graphic book or even a series of posts like this one. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

Tevna Tayler
Community Member
5 years ago

Hi Kate, I think it is really cool that you are drawing what you see and sharing it :-) I'm a naturopathic physician who has suffered from depression most of my life - suicidal when I was your age - and I just wanted to tell you that I learned in naturopathic medical school (from which I graduated at age 41, after doing other things with my life first) that brain symptoms, just like other symptoms, can be due to genetic metabolic issues and schizophrenia is often associated with disorders of vitamin metabolism, often the B vitamins, and some fats, among other things related to minerals and other vitamins. I am not practicing right now, and I don't remember details, but I wanted you to know that there are tests to find the metabolism oddities and specially formulated supplements of vitamins and amino acids and fats that can get around the metabolic deficiency so that the body can absorb them. Homeopathy is also extremely effective for treating schizophrenia, as it is with many things.

Eileen Broughal
Community Member
5 years ago

I think she is a very strong and brave woman. Keep drawing . Keep safe and may God Bless you.

Eileen Broughal
Community Member
5 years ago

I think she one of it the bravest women I have read about. God Bless you and may he keep you always safe

Nadine Beaudin
Community Member
5 years ago

I really am in my own bubble and hearing about your life experiences help me see a bit better. I wish you the best and hope you are able to live your life the best you can

Lorin Jenis
Community Member
5 years ago

I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia in 1995. I visited four different mental hospitals that year. I soon learned that if I behaved in a completely "normal" way outwardly, no matter what chaos occurred in my mind, I could stay out of the hospitals. I was an outpatient at a county mental health clinic until this year. At first I took 800 mg. a day of Seroquel, but by 2016 took only 200 mg. a day. Individual and group therapy helped me, but I received the greatest benefit from a course in computer technology at a local community college. I graduated with two certificates in computer repair and networking and set up a home business with more than 100 faithful clients. Computer technology forced me to use my mind in a completely different way than I did when I "saw" and "heard" things. I had to focus, think, and calculate, not just daydream. I also write and express my subjective side, but now I am free from drugs and psychiatrists.

Carl Horton
Community Member
5 years ago

She does not need to shape shift into a "prettier person" she is already a very beautiful young lady, and an extremely talented artist ! On a personal note, I found this article incredibly useful as I am a student mental health nurse and I often have difficulty trying to visualise what a patient's hallucinations look like when they are talking with and trying to describe them. This is a very valuable insight

Lisa Mahaffey
Community Member
5 years ago

Most people recover - some people completely recover, most have some voices or visions all their life but they are manageable. Your work is really wonderful - use it to understand what those visions are telling you - (not literally). Check out Eleanor Longdon's TED talk and the Hearing Voice Network. Also look for work by Larry Davidson. Schizophrenia is doesn't have to rule your world. Thanks for talking about it!!

Ailish Riain
Community Member
5 years ago

everything has consciousness - and i believe you are in touch with that. and your picture of the fly with the flowers - you don't need to steal anyone''s prettiness because you are your own prettiness - in fact you are a "Kate shaped beauty." take your lemons and make lots and lots and lots of different flavoured lemonade.

Kat Speak
Community Member
5 years ago

Amazing being able to visualise the things you see to help other people understand what it is you experience, you should be very proud of yourself :)

Kat Speak
Community Member
5 years ago

Amazing :) you are so brave and should be really proud of yourself

Barrie Collins
Community Member
5 years ago

Like your work. As an artist I've always felt on the edge of society, so that I've come to regard myself as normal and all the 'strights' as mentally ill.

Sarah Hancock
Community Member
5 years ago

I love your artwork. I understand the shimmering, swirling of a "blank" wall, ceiling, or floor. The bugs came under extreme stress. I could only describe it to others as endless multiple streams of roaches --like in "Men in Black" when he kicks the trash can and they all come pouring out. I was lost for 12 years I was lost. Trapped in the world of schizophrenia. Like you, I felt alone. Helpless. Hopeless and stigmatized. Gratefully that is not the case any more. The first step was finding a peer support specialist to act as a mentor through this wild world. She taught the tricks of the trade. My life is amazing now. You are just at the very beginning of your journey. Keep drawing, keep learning and hold onto the hope that things can and will get exponentially better. I'm the evidence. You can hold tightly to my hope until you find your own. You are not broken. You are not crazy. http://www.nauvootimes.com/cgi-bin/nauvoo_column.pl?number=102915&author=sarah-hancock#.WPmYE_dlDqA

Louis Reznicek
Community Member
5 years ago

You are amazing and beautiful finally aomeone undeestands

Benita Abel
Community Member
5 years ago

I admire your strength of character Kate, to openly tell the world about what happens in your illness. The world is very judging in how it views these type of illnesses however if more people like you would explain what it is like in reality instead of movies it surely would change people's point of view.

Steve White
Community Member
5 years ago

deeply touching, thank you for sharing.

Ruth Rocchio
Community Member
5 years ago

wow, amazing art!

Caroline Wiley
Community Member
5 years ago

You are beautiful.......it would be awesome to show you through my eyes!! You are gorgeous, strong, smart to be able to handle life as it's been given you! God bless Dear heart.💐💐

Caroline Wiley
Community Member
5 years ago

Beautiful young lady....I wish I could show you that beauty through my eyes..💐💜......gorgeous. I salute you for your strength and bravery. God bless you dear!💐

lemontzz aide
Community Member
5 years ago

Love your stuff! You are so talented & its great that you can give your experience visual expression, to help others understand what you haveto cope with! Thanks for sharing! Good luck to you

True Fiery King
Community Member
5 years ago

wow. i see my own hallucinations under a different light now.

Jeanne Pittion
Community Member
5 years ago

I don't know if you will read this. Usually, I never leave a comment but your article touched me. I can't really explain, I just felt. I was reading and thinking "I have so much things I would tell to her". First, you are not alone. I had big problems and I know a little what it is to have hallucinations. Unfortunately, we don't come from the same country, I'm sure we would have been friends. I wish you the best, you look amazing.

Elrian Buck
Community Member
5 years ago

Amazing artist. I'm very touched by her story... :)

Mikaela Hyland
Community Member
5 years ago

You're doing great :) My dad has schizophrenia and is leading a mostly functional and happy life now, but at your age and until around 35 he really struggled. The media completely warps things and that makes it even harder on those who have it. It's brave and genuinely helpful to open up to the world about your experiences. Keep breaking stereotypes and kicking ass :)

Annette Schmidt
Community Member
5 years ago

Bless your heart, and Thank you for putting yourself out there, on behalf of all those coping with the same, to simply describe what you experience. Removing the fear is the first step to being understood.

Pan Iopan
Community Member
5 years ago

These are truly awesome... Your expression is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your pictures and such a personal part of your life. Namaste.

Þórir Óskarsson
Community Member
5 years ago

Wow, really beautiful, thank you for sharing ! These artworks really spoke to me on a deep level

Magnus Wilson
Community Member
5 years ago

I write about my hallucinations to help me, I often put them in RPG games I run to remind myself that they are not real.

Beatrix Kiddo
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you. I am sure by sharing your story and your art you have touched many. Your art especially touched me. My son has schizophrenia. He is 30. It seems a little more extreme than what you have described. Your pictures have helped me to understand what I was imaging he sees is not nearly as scary as what he actually sees. I am in awe of your talent and strength.

Steven Whittaker-Jones
Community Member
5 years ago

You don't need to shapeshift Kate, you couldn't be more beautiful than you are already. I love the artwork and wish you well in dealing with your schizophrenia.

Jhoa
Community Member
5 years ago

Beautiful pictues. Im curious to know how they found out that some of the things they see arent real - or is it clear that they arent?

Zeenat Karim
Community Member
5 years ago

Learning from the articles or documentaries on this significant condition, I always felt very sympathetic for those enduring it consistently and only imagined their feelings. But seeing your paintings is such a deeper insight, a direct perspective through your eyes. You're extremely brave to be forthcoming & sharing your thoughts. And ofcourse a very talented artist too.

Devon Rubicco
Community Member
5 years ago

My mind is like yours my love. You are not alone. I'm here if you ever actually see this post.

Charlotte Murphy
Community Member
5 years ago

It takes a confident person to share that kind of story, which you live everyday. I am glad i read this it puts things in perspective, it is nice to see that you channel it into your art work which shows that your are very talented. I think it is wrong that people are labelled 'mentally ill' as this is part of your life it is part of who you are it does not define you as a person. I am glad you shared your art work as it is brilliant, don't feel like you should hide away from the world as people would be glad to have you in there life as you are an inspiration to me and many others. x

Christopher LoGiudice
Community Member
5 years ago

You are so beautifu inside and out. An asset for anyone that gets to have you in their life. Stick to your guns!

Fear staoir
Community Member
5 years ago

Moved me. I replied with my first article on this site..... hope it doesn't take anything away from the power of this post. I was inspired :) Hils from Fear Staoir

Linda Eff
Community Member
5 years ago

My dear, I am a therapist who has worked with people with schizophrenia for many years. They're brilliant, straight up, honest, and can lead full lives. Medication, advocacy, and, honesty will get you far. You're so young-18. Your brain hasn't fully developed to the point of learning how to handle all emotions. Judgment/decision making doesn't kick in until about 20. Give yourself time to grow, etc.. Have you ruled out ptsd? Because ptsd symptoms can complicate things. Baring that, you have your whole life ahead of you. Schizophrenia is a managebale condition..just like diabetes. If I eat to much sugar, I'll go hay wire. If I have schizophrenia and take my medication, and use excellent coping skills, and spend some time empowering, rather than knocking myself, I'll be in a better place. Beautiful way to cope. You have your whole future ahead of you, and it will be brilliant, work on the self esteem. Be happy, embrace yourself, your hallucinations are a part of who you are. One part.

Shane Blackwell
Community Member
5 years ago

Excellent expression, amazing technique and super talented, not to mention brave. Thank you for showing your strength.

Tom McNamara
Community Member
5 years ago

Enneagram type 4. I'm one too...

Cesar Augusto Unocc
Community Member
5 years ago

Honest and powerful. Great project. Stay strong

Michelle Boyle
Community Member
5 years ago

Thank you for sharing your story and artwork....You are very talented! I have heard that many with Schizophrenia do extremely well on Homeopathy.....I suggest if you would like to try this, that you find a qualified classical Homeopath.

Pille Varmann
Community Member
5 years ago

Just continue doing that. These pictures are very capturing and you've found a wonderful tool for yourself.

Ricardo Puyana
Community Member
5 years ago

Thanks for sharing your story, I suffered from an anxiety disorder and it let me to have a really dificult time until I knew what it was an was able to controll it, I just hated that my mind played with my fears making them seem so real so I can only imagine what you must feel. Hope you know you are not alone and are a very talented person who makes the world better.

Sondre Strøm Linde
Community Member
5 years ago

Pretty interesting stuff. And scary. One thing tho, you are worthless like a fly. Just like every other living thing. We are worthless, the existence is worthless. It's ok.

Sandra Thompson
Community Member
5 years ago

You are a beautiful , STRONG young woman , very talented , now on my mind and in my prayers !

stuart crawford
Community Member
5 years ago

This is fascinating. I have had fairly severe paranoia in the past where my reality has become completely warped. Having things appear to you as halluciantions must be an overwhelming and frightening thing to deal with. I hope sharing has helped you cope with things a little easier. Great work.

Ashley Babcock
Community Member
5 years ago

I love your art! Where can I see more? You should sell prints on Etsy or something.

Kavya Sudhakar
Community Member
5 years ago

Actually, even I see, hear and feel things which are not physically present. Till now I never realized itt may become serious.. I've just learnt to make peace with it. It's not scary always but it creeps the hell out of me. I shout out scared and yes, I too see a lot of bugs. Thanks for sharing your story Kate.

Carly Roper
Community Member
5 years ago

I would really really love to have a conversation with you! You're not crazy, you're special. People were born like this b4 the diagnosis and were revered. It would be awesome to pick such an amazing mind, and maybe connect with someone who's similar to me in a way I haven't really spoken to anyone else about.

Mark Teeter
Community Member
5 years ago

I had the same issues. Here's my art if you're interested www.lionwolfenganger.deviantart.com I think a lot of people aren't diagnosed but have the same problems.

Mark Teeter
Community Member
5 years ago

I did the same with the same issues as you. Here's my art if you're interested www.lionwolfenganger.deviantart.com I think there's a lot of un-diagnosed people with these same things

Hello Al
Community Member
5 years ago

💗 thank you for sharing.

Laura Mish
Community Member
5 years ago

This was such an interesting article. Thank you for sharing something so private. You are very brave and seen much more mature than 18 years old. Your pictures are fascinating to me. The brain works in mysterious ways. Did the doctor ever say what is going on in your brain that causes such terrible hallucinations? Does the medication help them to occur less frequently? I empathize with seeing the things that you do. You just be terrified at time. Again, thank you for sharing. You are a beautiful unique human being and I'm sure there are many who can learn from you.

Laura Mish
Community Member
5 years ago

I meant to say "you must be terrified at times".

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Joe Bowie
Community Member
5 years ago

as someone who has a less severe case of schizophrenia, you have given me hope that i can too can cope with this and i hope you know you mare not alone in this fight. You never know who you can have an effect on, so keep pursuing your art and dont let this disease conquer you, idk if i like calling this a disease but idk what else to call it, maybe a higher state of consciousness i still dont know. but in the words of cat stevens, im on the road to find out

Whiskey Throttle
Community Member
5 years ago

I think you're beautiful.

Abb Kapoor
Community Member
5 years ago

This was amazing. Your art is truely spectacular. Thank you for sharing!!

Carolyn Hehir
Community Member
5 years ago

You are courageous and beautiful. Please continue to share your talents with the world. Thank you for making me understand and for being a voice for those that suffer from this .

Carolyn Hehir
Community Member
5 years ago

God bless you, kid. Your work is amazing. Please continue to share it with the world. You are helping so many people who are misunderstood and have no voice. You are courageous and beautiful.

Alex Knight
Community Member
5 years ago

You are a brave and beautiful and talented young woman. Thank you for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you.

Alex Knight
Community Member
5 years ago

You are a brave and beautiful and talented young woman. Thank you for telling your story, and my heart goes out to you.

Debe Callihan
Community Member
5 years ago

I lived in an apartment building many years ago, and had a friend on the third floor...for a few years we were friends, until I moved. Sometimes she would open the door to say it wasn't a good time to visit. Over time, she let me know why...She had Schizophrenia. I respected her need to be alone when she didn't "feel right", and when she was "better", we played cards or went shopping. She was a good person, but kept a small, understanding, circle of friends.