“I Was Forced To Suck It Up And Get Back To Work:” Heartbroken Mom Shares Why 12 Weeks Of Maternity Leave Isn’t Enough Interview With Author
As if returning to work after maternity leave wasn’t hard enough already for women from all around the world, the US parental leave policies are putting even more strain on new mothers.
But despite being overly stressed and exhausted, being the key source of income, the financial burden makes them put on a smile and open the office door just 12 weeks in from maternity leave. For most European countries, such a short period of leave is simply incomprehensible.
And one of the unsung hero moms, Rachael Larsen, took 4 years to finally have the courage to share her tearful story of going back to work. Rachael, who’s a director of product operations at a Salt Lake City education company, wrote: “The shame around raising a family and working full-time is real,” and added that no matter the circumstances, “she wasn’t ready.”
Rachael’s post shared on LinkedIn shed light on what’s really going through so many women’s heads as they have no other choice but to suck it up and do their best; even then, deep inside, they may feel totally defeated. So let’s read it in full right below.
Rachael Larsen posted a tearful confession on how she wasn’t ready to go back to work after 12 weeks of maternity leave
Bored Panda reached out to Rachael Larsen, the author of this viral Linkedin post who was happy to share her experience of that tearful day.
When asked what took her four years to share the picture, Rachael said: “It took me so long because I knew the default response from many people would be critical of my desire to be a career-loving mother. The pressure for women to fit in only one box is real and you can see it lived out in rude comments.”
“Returning to work after family leave might be one of the most difficult things you do, or it might bring you relief to feel like your old self. Every situation is different.” With Rachael’s oldest child, she returned to work after 8 weeks. “It was a breath of fresh air for me to be able to take a break from the grueling work of caring for a newborn who wants to eat every two hours and cries non-stop.”
However, many parents out there stay silent about what they’re really going through at that incredibly stressful point of their lives. “We don’t want to be viewed as weak, or unable to manage the demands of our lives.”
According to Rachael, “It is difficult to ask for help, especially when many companies only provide what FMLA requires and their corporate policies don’t allow them to provide more paid time off or flexible return options. For many managers, there is literally nothing they can do.”
Rachael’s confession resonated with many others as they shared their support in the comments
For comparison, in Austria, women are obligated to take leave from eight weeks before the birth to eight weeks after, during which they cannot work. According to an OECD report, Austrian employees are paid their full average net income for the previous three months in maternity benefit with no cap.
People from foreign countries shared their experiences and many agreed 12 weeks is far from enough
“It’s no surprise that the parental leave in America is the worst of any developed nation. To break free from the individualist mindset of ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ we will need a national change of heart where we acknowledge the value that families and communities provide to our country.”
Rachael believes that “we need to value the humanity of our workers just as much as we value corporate profit. It doesn’t have to be one or the other; when the interests of both are balanced, you see companies thrive.”
But there have also been some critical opinions
To all parents out there who feel silenced, miserable, and hopeless, Rachael says: “No matter how you feel about it, you are not alone. There are millions of parents out there working through the same emotions and guilt that you feel.”
According to a 2019 report by Unicef, which analyzed which of the world’s richest countries are most family-friendly, Estonia leads the field for new mothers with over 80 weeks of leave at full pay.
And from 41 reported countries that are part of the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development and European Union, the US made it to the bottom of the table, giving a total of zero weeks with no national paid leave.
And a few general comments that summed up the whole situation
In Romania the mothers got 2 years to stay home . And they receive 80% of the salary (last 12 months) from the state.
Germany has 18months (which can be shared between mom and dad) and 60%.
Not trying to sound hateful or cynical, I'm just genuinely intrigued... How does that work? Isn't that a massive sink for the company? They're throwing out a ton of money & getting nothing in return, so now they'll have to find a replacement & pay them too. Even if it's the right thing to do, surely it isn't sustainable, especially during pandemic times... EDIT: Thank you guys for the answers, that makes a lot more sense now!
The company has no issue as the maternity leave is paid by the state and the state gets the money from taxes. Then after two years your job is waiting for you. However if the company goes bust then your two years are still paid and then after that you get unemployment for another two years then you go on social security, at least that is how it is done in Germany.
They get their trained employer back, an otherwise unemployed person gets experiemce and a year to work (these jobs are often the entry to workforce for young people) and it is paid by our health insurance (here in Austria). The system is not perfect, but mostly it is a winwin situation...
Off the top of my head, where I live (the UK), the employer only has to pay for the first six weeks, it then moves onto a state benefit (which is not a lot) and finally the last 12 weeks are unpaid. But you are entitled to take 52 weeks off and your job is protected in the meantime.
I often experienced people taking advantage of that. E.g. a couple, both working, living in a nice home. She got pregnant two times and stayed home nearly 4 years. Payed. When she returned she constantly had to get to stay home bc there was something with the kids. Claimed to get the best dates for holidays bc of the kids. Its good we have this laws to support those in need. But some people just let others work and pay to get their life choices. If i decide to travel 6 months around the world, what am i getting for it? Probably not even to keep my job.
Same in my country
Same in Bulgaria. But Americans are brainwashed to think that this is "socialism". No, it's normal politics for the benefit of your people.
Rall, there's a difference between socialism and social policies. Socialism is the USSR, East Germany, Venezuela, Cuba. Not the same thing.
Yes, and that is what I'm say in my comment. Bulgaria is ex-communist country, so I'm very aware what socialism and communism is.
23 years ago when I had my son, I was so happy when I had an emergency C-section because it meant I got an extra 2 weeks of paid maternity leave (8 weeks instead of 6). I now realize how absolutely ridiculous it was that I was happy about having major surgery because it meant having a whole extra 14 days home with my son.
This is so sad... :(
In my country, the maternity leave is 12 months. Paid. Paternity leave is 9 weeks, but the father can "take" some of the mother's 12 months if they prefer. Then either parent can take parental leave until the child is 3 years old (not on full pay but still a good amount, like 60 or 70%). The government subsidies the companies, and an employee CANNOT be fired when on any of those leaves, by law. America is so backward sometimes.
Jerry Hengehold: It ends when you go live alon on a secluded island. A society needs children to survive and hence has to support parents. if you don't like it, then f*cking LEAVE.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Like parents don't allready receive enough free stuff from the childless people? Free schoold. Free money. When does it end? I thought being a parent was it's own reward????
You need them to grow up, be educated and work so their taxes can pay your pension, hospital fees and medication when you are old... unless you plan to die in the near future.
Understandable, as a child free person I used to think similarly. But then I thought wait ok, I am part of this society, these kids will eventually grow up and they'll be running things when I'm old. It's a very good idea to invest in them.
In Romania the mothers got 2 years to stay home . And they receive 80% of the salary (last 12 months) from the state.
Germany has 18months (which can be shared between mom and dad) and 60%.
Not trying to sound hateful or cynical, I'm just genuinely intrigued... How does that work? Isn't that a massive sink for the company? They're throwing out a ton of money & getting nothing in return, so now they'll have to find a replacement & pay them too. Even if it's the right thing to do, surely it isn't sustainable, especially during pandemic times... EDIT: Thank you guys for the answers, that makes a lot more sense now!
The company has no issue as the maternity leave is paid by the state and the state gets the money from taxes. Then after two years your job is waiting for you. However if the company goes bust then your two years are still paid and then after that you get unemployment for another two years then you go on social security, at least that is how it is done in Germany.
They get their trained employer back, an otherwise unemployed person gets experiemce and a year to work (these jobs are often the entry to workforce for young people) and it is paid by our health insurance (here in Austria). The system is not perfect, but mostly it is a winwin situation...
Off the top of my head, where I live (the UK), the employer only has to pay for the first six weeks, it then moves onto a state benefit (which is not a lot) and finally the last 12 weeks are unpaid. But you are entitled to take 52 weeks off and your job is protected in the meantime.
I often experienced people taking advantage of that. E.g. a couple, both working, living in a nice home. She got pregnant two times and stayed home nearly 4 years. Payed. When she returned she constantly had to get to stay home bc there was something with the kids. Claimed to get the best dates for holidays bc of the kids. Its good we have this laws to support those in need. But some people just let others work and pay to get their life choices. If i decide to travel 6 months around the world, what am i getting for it? Probably not even to keep my job.
Same in my country
Same in Bulgaria. But Americans are brainwashed to think that this is "socialism". No, it's normal politics for the benefit of your people.
Rall, there's a difference between socialism and social policies. Socialism is the USSR, East Germany, Venezuela, Cuba. Not the same thing.
Yes, and that is what I'm say in my comment. Bulgaria is ex-communist country, so I'm very aware what socialism and communism is.
23 years ago when I had my son, I was so happy when I had an emergency C-section because it meant I got an extra 2 weeks of paid maternity leave (8 weeks instead of 6). I now realize how absolutely ridiculous it was that I was happy about having major surgery because it meant having a whole extra 14 days home with my son.
This is so sad... :(
In my country, the maternity leave is 12 months. Paid. Paternity leave is 9 weeks, but the father can "take" some of the mother's 12 months if they prefer. Then either parent can take parental leave until the child is 3 years old (not on full pay but still a good amount, like 60 or 70%). The government subsidies the companies, and an employee CANNOT be fired when on any of those leaves, by law. America is so backward sometimes.
Jerry Hengehold: It ends when you go live alon on a secluded island. A society needs children to survive and hence has to support parents. if you don't like it, then f*cking LEAVE.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Like parents don't allready receive enough free stuff from the childless people? Free schoold. Free money. When does it end? I thought being a parent was it's own reward????
You need them to grow up, be educated and work so their taxes can pay your pension, hospital fees and medication when you are old... unless you plan to die in the near future.
Understandable, as a child free person I used to think similarly. But then I thought wait ok, I am part of this society, these kids will eventually grow up and they'll be running things when I'm old. It's a very good idea to invest in them.