Men Share Their “Toxic Masculinity” Stories After This Guy Shares A Story Of How His Dad Was Told It’s Rude To Cry At Funerals
Most people would probably agree that there’s a fine line between what’s appropriate to say and what isn’t. However, Reddit has some stories about people blurting out things that sometimes can be beyond our comprehension. For example, the crown jewel of today is this woman who apparently told her stepson that it’s inappropriate to cry at funerals and picked literally the worst timing to say “man up.” Luckily, he had a jaw-dropping comeback.
Someone on Reddit shared how their dad was told off from crying by his step-mom
It’s probably just something of human nature to sometimes wonder whether we’re enough. Pretty or handsome enough, smart enough, funny enough—you name it. But it’s one thing to question yourself and a completely different thing when someone else implies that you’re lacking something.
Only to her regret, since she received a major clap-back
Image credits: Umbrella Shot (not the actual photo)
Others seized the opportunity and jumped in with similar stories of their own
It seems that some people find it particularly hard to draw lines regarding what’s appropriate to say when it comes to gender norms. Award-winning author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie said: “By far the worst thing we do to males—by making them feel they have to be hard—is that we leave them with very fragile egos.”
And followed the theme of the saying “man up” being used in the worst ways possible
Image credits: astrid westvang (not the actual photo)
Turns out, some actually did “man up” but it didn’t bring much good
Only this time, it’s not the male ego that’s in question. Turns out, Redditor Vengenbuurg’s dad was once in a situation where his own stepmom told him to “man up” just because he was having a seemingly normal reaction to his beloved grandma dying.
Demonstrating toughness in a difficult situation didn’t help and caused permanent damage
Image credits: Rita Kravchuk (not the actual photo)
Some people expressed that masculinity is a weird thing to begin with
She seemed to believe that suppressing emotions and masking distress is what defines a person as masculine. Maintaining an appearance of hardness is often believed to be a masculine trait as well.
Thus, acting or looking tough doesn’t have much to do with actually being masculine
Image credits: veggiefrog (not the actual photo)
However, not being able to express emotions openly can turn out to be really damaging. Another Reddit user shared that he did “man up” at his dad’s funeral but had to fight depression for 4 years as a result and has struggled with expressing emotions ever since.
98Kviews
Share on Facebook
I agree. I also think that women in our culture should not be taught to be or act weak or to feel that they are responsible for making everyone around them happy. In other words, let people be the best version of who they are and stop labeling them.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies...
Even women get looks and told to just go away and compose ourselves when upset. It's like people don't know how to respond or deal with someone's emotional moment so they want to them to go away. I find it attractive when a man can express himself to me and show they have a heart and care.
I wish we were taught when we were kids (everyone) not only ways to express emotions, AND how to handle it when others show their emotions so that everyone isn't uncomfortable showing or being shown emotions. We take PE in school, but never address mental health. Seems lopsided.
Load More Replies...
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This is a very timely post. For those men having difficulty still from having had to suppress emotions in the past, I would like to suggest checking your insurance company provider list for Psychologists who do EMDR. (State funded ins have them too). Although originally developed for severe PTSD, it has been for highly effective for PTSD from less traumatic situations but that leave as deep a scar. Plus talk therapy is also really helpful to face the past hurts once and for all and leave them there.
I did EMDR as a treatment for PTSD and PND- it was so hard. I would finish a session then sleep 16 hours, but it did work. I managed to unjumble all the thoughts and emotions that were tangled up on my head.
Load More Replies...
I agree. I also think that women in our culture should not be taught to be or act weak or to feel that they are responsible for making everyone around them happy. In other words, let people be the best version of who they are and stop labeling them.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies... Even women get looks and told to just go away and compose ourselves when upset. It's like people don't know how to respond or deal with someone's emotional moment so they want to them to go away. I find it attractive when a man can express himself to me and show they have a heart and care.
I wish we were taught when we were kids (everyone) not only ways to express emotions, AND how to handle it when others show their emotions so that everyone isn't uncomfortable showing or being shown emotions. We take PE in school, but never address mental health. Seems lopsided.
Load More Replies... May is Mental Health Awareness Month. This is a very timely post. For those men having difficulty still from having had to suppress emotions in the past, I would like to suggest checking your insurance company provider list for Psychologists who do EMDR. (State funded ins have them too). Although originally developed for severe PTSD, it has been for highly effective for PTSD from less traumatic situations but that leave as deep a scar. Plus talk therapy is also really helpful to face the past hurts once and for all and leave them there.
I did EMDR as a treatment for PTSD and PND- it was so hard. I would finish a session then sleep 16 hours, but it did work. I managed to unjumble all the thoughts and emotions that were tangled up on my head.
Load More Replies...
276
94