I’ve worked with many kids. I’ve been a teacher, a babysitter, a camp counselor, an au pair and a performer in countless children’s theater shows. And while I recognize that kids are the future, and their brains are amazing, creative sponges soaking up so much knowledge and sharing much more wisdom than they often get credit for, no child is perfect. In fact, some are even annoying. (Sorry!) Children who demand things without saying ‘please’ or ‘thank you’, who pick on their peers, and who throw a fit any time they lose a game are my least favorite kids to come across. And while they will likely grow out of this behavior, it’s always extremely clear which children have been taught at home how to be respectful, kind and compassionate.
In honor of those kids and their parents, we’ve gathered a list down below of qualities Reddit users have been sharing that indicate that someone was “raised right”. From being able to own up to their mistakes to always holding doors open for others, this article is full of some of the most refreshing behaviors to observe in others. Keep reading to also find conversations we were lucky enough to have with Scarlet Paolicchi, the woman behind Family Focus Blog, and Amy Morrison, founder of Pregnant Chicken, to hear their thoughts on the topic.
Be sure to upvote all of the responses you agree with, and feel free to pat yourself on the back for all of these ideas you’ve also instilled in your little ones. Then, if you’re interested in reading about the telltale signs that someone was not raised right, you can find a Bored Panda article exploring that topic right here!
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I have a perfect story for this. Last Friday night I was a chaperone at my daughter’s prom. I had been observing the students dancing and enjoying themselves to notice one girl, without a date,standing just on the periphery of the dance floor slowing swaying to the beat. She never danced with the group,but appeared to want to. The last slow dance of the evening started and to my heartwarming joy a college aged young man, a brother of one of the students, walked confidently over to her, politely asked her to dance, and focused on her the whole song. At the end of the song he bowed and stepped away, all with cool grace. Never once was he bothered or seemed to be focused on anything other than her enjoyment at that moment. He was raised well.
To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to Scarlet Paolicchi, Nashville-based mother, author and the woman behind the Family Focus Blog. First, we wanted to know what being “raised right” means to Scarlet. “To me, ‘raised right’ means your parents taught you to value others and treat them in a manner that reflects this,” she told Bored Panda.
“Telltale signs that indicate that someone was raised right are little things like being polite. The golden words like, ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are huge indications,” Scarlet explained. “Of course, being genuine is one of the most important signs they were raised right. That is meaning what they say and having actions and words that line up. Another sign is showing respect to everyone equally, not just to someone you are currently trying to butter up.”
Out on a lake with my son and he turned his jet ski around in the opposite direction we were heading...so he could pick up some plastic trash floating in the lake.
He hangs out and eats at his girlfriend's house a lot. I offered some grocery money to his parents (as I know how much 19 year old boys eat). She said not to worry about it; that she enjoys cooking for him; and did I know that he does the dishes for her after she cooks?
Also, after he got his own car, he developed a hobby of stopping to help other motorists who were having trouble (jump starting their cars; helping to push their broken down cars to the gas station, etc.)
Sorry for the humble brag but he's a good kid.
How well they treat people in the service industry. Not just waitstaff in a restaurant but security guards, cleaners, hotel housekeeping, etc.
We were also curious if Scarlet believes parents have to go out of their way to instill these lessons in their children, or if setting a good example is enough. “Certainly, it begins with a consistent example,” she told Bored Panda. “But for most kids, it also takes 100 gentle reminders in addition!”
Scarlet also provided some wise words for parents who are worried about “raising their kids right”. “I'd say one of the most challenging parts for parents is not spoiling children and giving in to their every whim. This behavior will create children who think the world revolves around them,” she explained. “Therefore, it is unlikely they will be able to really respect and care for everyone as equals. Being raised right is definitely more than just saying please and thank you. That is only a start. Kids need to have empathy and an understanding that we all matter.”
“I think the phrase ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ is a good foundation to build on,” Scarlet added. If you’d like to hear more wise words about parenting from Scarlet, be sure to check out her website Family Focus Blog right here!
When she was 4, my daughter got knocked over by a teen on his skateboard. He immediately stopped to apologize - and when he saw she was bleeding (cement scrapes) he ran to get a first aid kit from the shop we'd just come out of. He stayed and didn't leave my daughter's side until he knew she'd be OK, and gotten her to smile.
We brought the first aid kit back - the shop was his parents and they were as apologetic as their son. Even though it was an accident, the teen owned the accident, and did everything he could to make it right.
Compare that to the little s**t who knocked her over a few months later and kept on riding... She had some choice words about how well he wasn't being brought up, and I had to try not to laugh.
Is this guy leaving his 4 year old daughter in skate parks just to see what happens to her?
Cleaning up after themselves in public places like movie theaters.
I might not do a lot of things right as a parent but this is one thing I do right. My kids don't ever get to make a mess at the movies and leave it for someone else. We always pack out what we packed in.
We also reached out to Amy Morrison, founder of the site Pregnant Chicken, to hear her thoughts on this topic. Pregnant Chicken helps countless parents feel prepared and excited about welcoming new members into their families, so we knew Amy would be able to provide some words of wisdom about what being “raised right” means. “To me, it means taking other people into consideration and trying to see things from their point of view. Simple things like saying ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’ also come to mind,” she told Bored Panda.
I knew I'd like my in laws when my now-husband did the dishes without prompting. I also knew they raised him right when he immediately helped my dog when she was dealing with back problems. He swaddled her up, carried her to the car while my Mum called the vet and cuddled me and her the whole way to the vet. The dog is completely healthy now and very happy. But seeing how he just helped and made sure we were okay told me he came from a good family.
I love my in laws. They are generous, funny and have good morals. Also, they live two hours away.
They put their shopping carts up instead of just leaving them out in the parking lot.
And when it comes to some of the telltale signs that someone was (or wasn’t) raised well, Amy says, “When I encounter someone being empathetic and observant, I feel like their caregivers did (or are doing) an exceptional job. These people can recognize the needs and perspectives of other people regardless of their education, wealth, social status, gender, ethnicity, religion, where they live, etc.”
“People who belittle, judge, or conduct themselves like they are the only person who matters make me wonder what kind of life they grew up in and who their role models were – or weren't,” she added.
They take responsibility and try to learn from their mistakes instead of trying to put the blame on others.
People who wave at you when you give them space to merge/turn in front of you.
Once I was driving a big van down a hill and some guy in a sports car majorly cut me off. I didn’t like the little wave he gave me. But I guess this post is about genuine friendly waves.
We were also curious if Amy thinks parents need to try to instill these good habits in their children, or if setting an example is enough. “I think kids learn more from what they see far more than what they are told,” she told Bored Panda. “If a parent extolls the virtue of kindness but then takes out their day on an innocent service worker, their child will notice.”
“Be the kind of person you want your kids to be and spend more time modeling ‘raised right’ behavior rather than trying to actively instill it into your children,” Amy explained. “Kids are smart and look to their parents as their guide to the world. I feel if you're mindful of how you consider others, your kids are more likely to have a strong moral compass as well.”
First time my bf picked me up from my house, he rang the doorbell, came in, and introduced himself to my family (immediate & visiting aunt & uncle). After dating guys for years who’d just text, “I’m outside,” it was refreshing & I immediately knew he’d been raised right.
Hasn’t proved me wrong yet, either.
This is such an appreciated gesture! If you have nothing but good intentions, you will not hide from your date's family. Male or female.
I have a friend that's a high school teacher. It really bothers her that some of the poorer students have such a hard time with everything so for Christmas she used her own money to buy groceries and made hampers and donated them to those of her students she figured needed it the most. She didn't even want to distribute them herself so she asked the principal of the school to call them in discreetly to his office and give them out. Principal decides it's too good a story to cover up and distributes them during assembly and publicly praises my friend. This made her so boiling mad. In fact the only reason I found out was because she was so mad she called me to vent. I suspect that she does this regularly and just never tells anyone.
That was a bad move on the principal's part. Never draw attention to individuals who are receiving things they didn't request.
“Personally, I find my kids are a great mirror,” Amy added. “Good or bad, I try to take a hard look at where they get their ideas from. I feel like it's my job to model better behavior, so they understand how much of an impact it makes when you decide to choose empathy over judgment.”
If you’d like to hear more parenting words of wisdom from Amy or the rest of her team, be sure to check out Pregnant Chicken right here!
How they treat/react to animals. Whether they know how to pet the damn thing can tell you volumes.
Some kids have parents who never allow animals. They have zero experience around an family animal. Judging a person on their comfort of petting an animal is not a great way to judge people.
When they don’t assume being religious makes them a good person .
Just passed a Father pushing his family’s cart through Target and overheard him teaching his son to walk closer to the cart, “so you’re not in anyone else’s way while they’re shopping.” We locked eyes and I have an approving nod.
Yes!!!! YES. These considerate parents teach their kids. These are safe cautious blinker using speed limit drivers! Makes the roads and aisles safer.
Manners. Pleases, thank yous, courtesies like that..showing respect
They consider other people around them or who they are with when making a decision.
“What do you guys want to do?” “Dance in the weeds!” - The people in this photo…
- When they apologize (or admit they screwed up), even if it's for something minor. You'd be amazed at how few people do this and really mean it.
- Someone who openly admits that they don't know something.
- Someone who has an openness to communicate with just about anyone, regardless of race/social status/occupation/etc.
They'll hold the door open for other people even if they don't know them.
They don't feel entitled to something any more than another person is.
When my fiancée and I were heading to a 5K run and we were picking up a friend on the way there, my fiancée said “Bring the sunscreen for our friend, just in case they didn’t put any on.” Simple, but reminded me of just how thoughtful my fiancée is.
Whenever someone actually takes in what I say when I disagree with them and gives it a think. Right or wrong, I admire when someone knows to question something they believe. I hope my own son can be skeptical within reason.
People who get up and stand to let an older person sit on a crowded bus.
Not talking over someone while having a conversation.
I admittedly struggle with this. We’ll be talking about a topic and I get too excited. I always feel really guilty about it too. I’m working on it tho
An anecdote rather than a generalisation, but:
Was at a buffet the other day, little girl (3) comes back to the neighbouring table with her dad, and the straw pops out of her drink, immediately her brother (6) says "you can borrow my straw" - the immediacy of his response, and the selflessness...I think they're being raised right. :)
Watch how a person treats someone that can do nothing for them. Most people are only nice for their own motives.
They find value in the lives of everyone.
I remember arguing with someone over the fact that I said Mzansi was a hellhole during apartheid. The other person was like, "Not for me, I'm white and had a great time!" (Implying that I should feel the same, also being white.) I'm sorry, dude, are you publically admitting you lack empathy? That seeing people be disrespected for the colour of their skin didn't hurt you? That knowing your best friend wouldn't be allowed into your school didn't upset you? (Maybe he didn't have friends who weren't rich white arseholes?) Gah, it made me mad.
They respect other's property and personal space. I've met so many people that just do not do this. They are the type of person to walk into your house and start touching everything or sit on the couch and put their feet on the coffee table.
I’ve met many people in my life who never valued anything I had/made. Many friends in the past used to take my stuff and destroy them. I even had some of my artwork torn in half by them. Now I rarely trust anyone with my stuff and I get so anxious when I give them my stuff
They respect boundaries- for themselves and with others. They are not afraid to say “No” and respect when others do the same. Unfortunately, a lack of boundaries is an issue for a lot of people. Children who grow up in a healthy environment typically have secure attachment with others; handling boundaries well in adulthood is a good indication that they were “raised right.”
Many excellent points here- also how they talk about other people.
Gossiping is pretty normal but how a person speaks of others and carries the secrets shared with them is a big indicator of their morals and how I 'see' them as a person.
It's one thing to share with a husband, wife, or closest friend the secrets or shortcomings of people you know and your blunt opinion about them. It's another thing entirely to use this information as social ammo, stepping on the heads of people who've trusted you with details about their life by sharing them flagrantly. Being trustworthy and seeing the best in others, even when they can't see it themselves, is a mark of being raised well to me- the ability to be a good person and not take the easy cheap shots.
my wife gets annoyed at me for this. she starts with 'youll never guess what so and so did...' and i often reply with 'i know'. why didnt i spread the gossip? because it didnt even occur to me that i should my dear.
If they are kind or generous to the homeless, speak up when they see someone being mistreated or disrespected in public. The way they treat their parents and family is also indicative of their raising, in my opinion. How they respond to heated situations—if they are quick to anger and how they react to it. When they go to stores, if they choose not to purchase something, they put it back where it came from rather than leaving a mess for the employee.
Also how people treat drug addicts on the street. Don't stare or obviously avoid walking near them, they are people who are addicts for a reason.
They bring their dishes to the sink or wash them when they are eating at someone else's house.
Not in my house! I’ll snatch it out of your hands and put it away. Guests don’t clean. (See the contradiction in raised right?)
This reminded me of when I went to go visit my cousin in California and he was just taking me around L.A. showing me the city and whatnot, all the cool touristy things.
Then we turn onto a road and he sees a car parked on the shoulder with its four ways on and two women standing outside of it. He immediately pulls over in front of them, gets out and asks them if they need any help at all or if they need to use his phone to call someone. They politely said no, and he got back in and we left.
Even as a Canadian, I was taken aback by his random act of kindness. Love my cousin.
Common decency yes in most of US yes. Southern hospitality in a sense is a term that describes helping being friendly.
Turns their hand over, palm side up to let a strange dog sniff their hand before engaging.
Also asking if they can pet my dog before accosting her. She’s very skittish and I simply don’t get how many people randomly pet her without permission and then get angry when she growls or snaps at them.
NEVER PALM SIDE UP when meeting a dog! The poor dog will think you are trying to grab her. Always meet dogs by presenting the back of your hand.
People who listen. I have had friends who I had lots of fun with, but they ignored half of what I said. It's dehumanizing. Ironically enough they do it to their parents who are nothing but respectful and loving. I didn't have parents like that. And they wont even give them the courtesy of listening.
They know the importance of communication.
I grew up hearing communication is key. I agree to acertain extent. I thi k understanding is just as important. You can put words together to form any type of sentence you want and call that communication. Still if I don't understand your intent and or meaning, the communication means nothing at all
They won't take the last serving of something served family style. Instead they divide it in half repeatedly until the remainder is at a molecular scale.
i was raised right, i’m just hungry lol. i do always ask if it’s okay if i take the last serving
A big one for me is if they have integrity. Know right from wrong and do the right thing.
I think about this when my husband freely shares his emotions :) he’s always a team player and we are partners always. They raised him to be kind, caring, and to always be willing to work things through
You know, sometimes it’s not the parents. My spouses parents are so dysfunctional and his mom boarders on toxic. He raised himself right after he left home.
When they leave your bathroom in the exact state it was already in. If the lid was down, it would be down when you leave. Or if they had the door shut, shut the door when you leave.
As a sibling of three kids, married for 20yrs, plus two young kids of our own dont even get me started on this LOL however everyones idea of cleanliness tidy organized is different. Main thing being where and how they were raised tends to determine this. And by whom they were raised . Everyones standards are not cannot and will not be same.
They know how to think for themselves and think critically.
When they aren't racist.
My dad excuses himself when he farts, even when he thinks he's alone.
Taking their shoes off before entering someone's house without being asked. Its such a small act but shows great respect.
I agree and I don’t want to be the devil’s advocate, but some people do suffer from overpowering, clinical, life-altering foot odor. Maybe we should let these ones leave their shoes on.
They're able to contribute back to society and do things because they want to, not because they have to.
Volunteering is a highly personal passion, and not everyone has the time, or can think of something they are passionate enough for, to commit to with their free time. Doesn't mean they're not raised right.
Kids that stay close to their parents in public places without causing a ruckus or looking like they've just been beaten (or about to).
Depends on the age of the kid. Some kids are just runners as toddlers. We worked soooo hard trying to get my son to stay with us. He’s six now and can do it but there were some years in there where this was a disaster. Only way to get him to stay was to hold his hand, pretty dang tightly too. So I don’t judge this in others as I’ve been there struggling with it, and I’d like to think I’m raising my son right. Idk, maybe I’m not. Or maybe it’s more like we had to effortfully teach some of these things as it just wasn’t automatic. It was a crazy struggle. Idk.
When they question everything. If you grow up, say, Christian, and you believe every word until the day you die, someone went wrong. But if you question it, and come to the conclusion that either
A. It's not real and I should stop believing
B. It makes perfect sense after research and it strengthens my belief
You're a better person for it
i feel like that’s more of an intelligent person than someone who was raised right…
They aren't an absolute nuisance to society.
They are not chronically late or absent from work. Also, they prioritize correctly.
Ehhh… I would have to say being willing to put your health and wellbeing above a job is a sign of being raised right…and never calling out is a sign of toxic work culture.
They instinctively know how to conduct themselves in social and business situations.
Those "raised right" find a good word to say, when appropriate, and know how to be respectful of others, even when they disagree.
They do their own laundry.
Note: this post originally had 61 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
a lot of these are just being a decent person, which i think is possible even if you weren’t raised “right”
Sadly... looking at many of the lists on sites like this (no, not **just** Bored Panda) - I get the feeling that 'being decent' doesn't mean the same thing now as what I remember... Example: apparently telling someone/confirming that you'll attend their meaningful event (going away party, birthday, etc. etc.) and then just NOT showing up without aaaany reason (not even a text to say 'sorry, can't') is considered... 'normal' now? To me, I feel like, 'okay... I guess this was their way of telling me to f**k off and end the friendship'
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I would say that wearing a mask in a public place is in this category - it means you're willing to endure a slight inconvenience so you don't kill or disable a total stranger.
Where I live, masks haven't been mandated since August, 2020, so no, I'm not about to wear one out in public---almost nobody here does (and I'm fully vaxxed with all vaccines the elderly should have)---but if I see someone wearing a mask, I typically leave their area to give them at least the courtesy of removing my unmasked self from their presence. I keep a couple of clean masks in the car if I need them, but so far, there have been zero issues.
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Seems a lot of people aren't raised with it though, sadly.
Load More Replies... a lot of these are just being a decent person, which i think is possible even if you weren’t raised “right”
Sadly... looking at many of the lists on sites like this (no, not **just** Bored Panda) - I get the feeling that 'being decent' doesn't mean the same thing now as what I remember... Example: apparently telling someone/confirming that you'll attend their meaningful event (going away party, birthday, etc. etc.) and then just NOT showing up without aaaany reason (not even a text to say 'sorry, can't') is considered... 'normal' now? To me, I feel like, 'okay... I guess this was their way of telling me to f**k off and end the friendship'
Load More Replies... I would say that wearing a mask in a public place is in this category - it means you're willing to endure a slight inconvenience so you don't kill or disable a total stranger.
Where I live, masks haven't been mandated since August, 2020, so no, I'm not about to wear one out in public---almost nobody here does (and I'm fully vaxxed with all vaccines the elderly should have)---but if I see someone wearing a mask, I typically leave their area to give them at least the courtesy of removing my unmasked self from their presence. I keep a couple of clean masks in the car if I need them, but so far, there have been zero issues.
Load More Replies... Seems a lot of people aren't raised with it though, sadly.
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