Women Are Sharing Their Assault Stories And It’s Shocking How Common It Is (20 Tweets)
With the rise of the #metoo movement in recent years and a string of high-profile cases, it appears that we as a society are finally getting to grips with an insidious yet heartbreakingly common issue – invasive, aggressive and unwanted sexual predator advances.
Previously, people who experienced this scary and dehumanizing behavior have been implicitly encouraged to either ignore it or simply accept sexual assaults as ‘normal’ – our collective refusal to face up to the problem has been the main cause of this. Lame excuses like ‘boys will be boys,’ or ‘it’s just because he likes you,’ leave many victims feeling like everything was somehow their own fault, so they instead have to suffer in silence along with feelings of guilt and shame.
Women (and also some men) are staying silent no longer.
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Image credits: KenidraRWoods_
Image credits: KenidraRWoods_
After Twitter user KenidraRWoods asked women to speak up, the responses came in heartbreakingly large numbers.
According to a study by RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), an American is sexually assaulted, groped, catcalled or harassed every 92 seconds – sexual abuse and its normalization is a problem that is deeply rooted in our culture.
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Many men joined in the conversation, shocked by the everyday experiences that women are faced with and vowing to help address the issue through understanding, education and the willingness to confront inappropriate sexual behavior when they see it.
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What do you think? Are initiatives like #metoo helping to confront the issue of sexual violence? What else can we do to turn around casual and corrosive attitudes towards it? Let us know your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
I've never commented before even though i read bored panda every day, but this post bothers me so much i had to. I was sexually abused by my father for years and even after a restraining order and helping get my baby sister from his custody i fell for his apologies only to be raped again in my 20s by him. I still struggle trying to get angry at him. I make excuses for him that he's mentally ill because you have you be to rape a child right? I told my mother the first time it happened and she made him APOLOGIZE!!! but continued to let hom have primary custody of her 2 daughters. If after all that and most days i still feel guilty... As in maybe im remembering it wrong, maybe i did make it too easy... The fact i even ask myself those questions means society is perhaps giving me the wrong message about victims. I just had a child, a boy. I plan to raise him to treat women right, always ask is this ok? And to trust his gut if he feels unsafe. Thanks pandas for reading this.
You saying “maybe I did make it easy”, breaks my heart and is all down to the victim blaming society puts on us. The ONLY person to blame is the perpetrator. For years I kept blaming myself for always going to my neighbours house even when it was going on. It has taken YEARS of therapy and help from my hubby to understand things better. I was a child, and he took advantage. I hope you can heal from this and congratulations on your little boy. All the best to you and your future.
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Saddest to me was "at least I wasn't raped". I was. Also, some years later, groped at work, subjected to profane commentary on/about body parts, told to let male co-workers do XYZ to "keep the peace" *by a female boss*. ... We have to teach our kids (of both sexes!) to be and do better...
The largeness of what fits under the 'at least I wasn't raped...' blanket... ~~~ So much damage and pain is caused by people who are in positions where they are supposed to help protect and heal insisting on specific qualifiers before they consider it 'real assault'. When they insist that if xyz didn't happen, or, conversely did happen, or the victim was wearing/ doing/ said xyz... well, it wasn't 'legitimate rape', or 'actual assault', or 'real abuse'. As if there's some universal checklist that abusers and rapists use where it only counts if every box is ticked.
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I think it's also about "forgetting", that we just don't remember every time. ----------- Only when the metoo debate started I remembered my teacher looking at my breast and making a few comments. Made me wear different clothes on the day's I had his classes. ---------- Last week there were three men in the supermarket, where on of them started talking to me. Wanted to know my name, where I'm from, wanted to walk me to my car - even though I had told him, that I'm not interessted and in a hurry. ----------- And I'm not that good looking, I'm quite overweight. Sometimes I think of these comments as "ohh, she's probably really good looking to attract so much attention". But then I try to remind myself, that it's not about beeing good looking.
Nope, it's not about your looks. It's about their rage and need to punish and control. Doesn't matter if the offender is male/female or the victim is male/female. One wants to take power and get their jollies by hurting the other. And this is why I hate being a human instead of, say, a tree...
Load More Replies... I've never commented before even though i read bored panda every day, but this post bothers me so much i had to. I was sexually abused by my father for years and even after a restraining order and helping get my baby sister from his custody i fell for his apologies only to be raped again in my 20s by him. I still struggle trying to get angry at him. I make excuses for him that he's mentally ill because you have you be to rape a child right? I told my mother the first time it happened and she made him APOLOGIZE!!! but continued to let hom have primary custody of her 2 daughters. If after all that and most days i still feel guilty... As in maybe im remembering it wrong, maybe i did make it too easy... The fact i even ask myself those questions means society is perhaps giving me the wrong message about victims. I just had a child, a boy. I plan to raise him to treat women right, always ask is this ok? And to trust his gut if he feels unsafe. Thanks pandas for reading this.
You saying “maybe I did make it easy”, breaks my heart and is all down to the victim blaming society puts on us. The ONLY person to blame is the perpetrator. For years I kept blaming myself for always going to my neighbours house even when it was going on. It has taken YEARS of therapy and help from my hubby to understand things better. I was a child, and he took advantage. I hope you can heal from this and congratulations on your little boy. All the best to you and your future.
Load More Replies... Saddest to me was "at least I wasn't raped". I was. Also, some years later, groped at work, subjected to profane commentary on/about body parts, told to let male co-workers do XYZ to "keep the peace" *by a female boss*. ... We have to teach our kids (of both sexes!) to be and do better...
The largeness of what fits under the 'at least I wasn't raped...' blanket... ~~~ So much damage and pain is caused by people who are in positions where they are supposed to help protect and heal insisting on specific qualifiers before they consider it 'real assault'. When they insist that if xyz didn't happen, or, conversely did happen, or the victim was wearing/ doing/ said xyz... well, it wasn't 'legitimate rape', or 'actual assault', or 'real abuse'. As if there's some universal checklist that abusers and rapists use where it only counts if every box is ticked.
Load More Replies... I think it's also about "forgetting", that we just don't remember every time. ----------- Only when the metoo debate started I remembered my teacher looking at my breast and making a few comments. Made me wear different clothes on the day's I had his classes. ---------- Last week there were three men in the supermarket, where on of them started talking to me. Wanted to know my name, where I'm from, wanted to walk me to my car - even though I had told him, that I'm not interessted and in a hurry. ----------- And I'm not that good looking, I'm quite overweight. Sometimes I think of these comments as "ohh, she's probably really good looking to attract so much attention". But then I try to remind myself, that it's not about beeing good looking.
Nope, it's not about your looks. It's about their rage and need to punish and control. Doesn't matter if the offender is male/female or the victim is male/female. One wants to take power and get their jollies by hurting the other. And this is why I hate being a human instead of, say, a tree...
Load More Replies...
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