My father drinks. A lot. He’s been drinking for quite a while, I think even before I was born. But sober or not, he’s just not a good person. He threatens us and says horrible things.
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Share on FacebookMy mother is a recovering alcoholic. And while she was mean and nasty when she was drinking, staying sober these past 20 years has not done a lot to improve her personality. She's actually gotten gradually worse in the past few years. I think she mainly is lonely because the people around her that are still alive are still suffering from the scars of the abuse she heaped on them every time she climbed into a bottle. But her life was her choice and not mine to fix. I have my own life with people that depend on me and I do not have the ability to waste time on someone whose motive is to make me feel like c**p to make themselves feel better. I broke away from it. If you have someone with an alcohol problem in your family, it is not up to you to fix it...it is up to you to survive it. And sometimes that means leaving them. Don't for a minute think that you can force a cure on them..and don't think for a minute that their problem is your fault. Save yourself.
I can’t believe how many people buy into the myth that when someone stops drinking or drugging they suddenly become angels. My sister is a junkie. She has been since she was 14. She’s 53 now. Guess what? She’d be the same a*****e if she quit drugs that she was before she started. ...///... With alcohol, people lose their internal filters. They don’t “change”. They just show who they really are because they can’t hide it.
Load More Replies...Get out of that situation as soon as you can find a safe path. There are better people in the world to be around. If you’re under age, and able to start working, you might try getting legally emancipated due to parental irresponsibility. It’s not your job to fix your parents. They’ve failed in their social contract to be proper parents. NOT YOUR FAULT. Also, check into local social support services. Again: this is NOT YOUR FAULT and NOT your responsibility.
Your father has a disease and your mother is an enabler. I urge you to seek out a support group for Children of Alcoholics for both you and your brother so that you can get some help dealing with the destructive fallout from his alcoholism, and so that both of you can help break the cycle. Wishing you well.
The violence and threats have nothing to do with the drinking. He’d be violent and threatening if he was stone cold sober. That’s a CHOICE. The alcohol? Not so much of a choice any more.
Load More Replies...My mother is a recovering alcoholic. And while she was mean and nasty when she was drinking, staying sober these past 20 years has not done a lot to improve her personality. She's actually gotten gradually worse in the past few years. I think she mainly is lonely because the people around her that are still alive are still suffering from the scars of the abuse she heaped on them every time she climbed into a bottle. But her life was her choice and not mine to fix. I have my own life with people that depend on me and I do not have the ability to waste time on someone whose motive is to make me feel like c**p to make themselves feel better. I broke away from it. If you have someone with an alcohol problem in your family, it is not up to you to fix it...it is up to you to survive it. And sometimes that means leaving them. Don't for a minute think that you can force a cure on them..and don't think for a minute that their problem is your fault. Save yourself.
I can’t believe how many people buy into the myth that when someone stops drinking or drugging they suddenly become angels. My sister is a junkie. She has been since she was 14. She’s 53 now. Guess what? She’d be the same a*****e if she quit drugs that she was before she started. ...///... With alcohol, people lose their internal filters. They don’t “change”. They just show who they really are because they can’t hide it.
Load More Replies...Get out of that situation as soon as you can find a safe path. There are better people in the world to be around. If you’re under age, and able to start working, you might try getting legally emancipated due to parental irresponsibility. It’s not your job to fix your parents. They’ve failed in their social contract to be proper parents. NOT YOUR FAULT. Also, check into local social support services. Again: this is NOT YOUR FAULT and NOT your responsibility.
Your father has a disease and your mother is an enabler. I urge you to seek out a support group for Children of Alcoholics for both you and your brother so that you can get some help dealing with the destructive fallout from his alcoholism, and so that both of you can help break the cycle. Wishing you well.
The violence and threats have nothing to do with the drinking. He’d be violent and threatening if he was stone cold sober. That’s a CHOICE. The alcohol? Not so much of a choice any more.
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