When you were a kid, did you believe that MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" was a warning to children not to play with hammers? Did you think that babies came out of your butt? Maybe you thought that the moon was made of ice and could only come out at night so that the sun wouldn't melt it? If you answered yes to any of these then this list is for you. Compiled by Bored Panda, this hilarious collection of weird and wonderful things that people believed when they were kids is sure to make you laugh. Believe us!

#1

My dad was a manager at a local business and he would come home every few months talking about how he had to fire someone. In my four year old mind I pictured him taking bad employees to a small concrete structure in a remote location, putting them inside, and lighting them on fire. Had no idea it was just telling someone they can't work there anymore.
And somehow I was okay with my father being a serial killer, because Dad can do no wrong.

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Amanda Panda 6 months ago

I thought something very similar when I watched the Jetson's and the boss always threatened to fire Mr. Jetson. I think as kids we think of things more literally when we hear such things.

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#2

As a kid I thought when a woman was getting chased by a bad guy on TV, I would think why won't the cameraman help her.

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Tiny Dynamine 6 months ago

Thinking outside the box is good for a kid!

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#3

“I thought that ‘your penis would grow’ meant I’d grow more penises [as I got older].
You have no idea what the drawings of my grandpa looked like.”

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Nadja Stöckl 6 months ago

i am crying XD

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#4

That I was special and that someday I'd meet a girl who'd love me for me. Thanks a lot mom.

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Skunk Drunk 6 months ago

Freud once said that subconsciously every man wanted to "marry his mother"...not incestously, just someone who reminded them of their mother's traits. The more you know...

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#5

That I was married to a family friend. I remember getting dressed up when I was about 3 and walking down the aisle with this girl. When I was 9 I learned that it was my cousin's wedding and that I was the ring bearer and she was the flower girl.

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Nancy Arnold 6 months ago

Lol cute

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#6

That white people pooped white. I'm an African American, so maybe you can understand the confusion.

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Hans 6 months ago

And the realization of the fact probably changed your world view. "We are all pink on the inside" they say...all we all produce brown, badly smelling turds. Probably this is a wisdom that is particularly important now that politics are particularly...er...shitty.

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#7

“I thought you were pregnant the moment you had your period and the boy closest to you was the father. When I first got my period I was 9 and it was during Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I screamed all the way home because I thought Quasimodo made me pregnant and I was going to have an ugly baby.”

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Amanda Panda 6 months ago

I can't imagine hitting puberty that young. I wouldn't have been prepared. I was almost 15.

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#8

When I was a kid I used to think our cat was called 'In or out'

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Hans 6 months ago

I think many cats go by that name. Similar to the "Come here" dogs.

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#9

Right around the time i began to hit puberty i got a pug. A few weeks after we got him, blonde hair began coming in all over my body. For awhile after that i was unbellieveably scared that i was slowly morphing into a pug. This also affected my relationship with the dog because as much as i loved him, i kept thinking to myself i dont know if i can turn into a pug for him. then we learned about puberty in health class and i realized that i wasnt turning into a dog.

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Arty 6 months ago

I can't believe some children reaching puberty still have this kind of thought oO

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#10

I used to think that people laughed into their remote controls and that's why we could hear people laughing on a television show.

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Skunk Drunk 6 months ago

That's not remotely weird....I'll walk myself out now

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