179Kviews
Jimmy Fallon Invites People To Share The Funniest Things They Heard Kids Say, They Deliver (30 Tweets)
It's well-recorded in history that kids are a source of unpolished gold. From hilarious little sayings, cheeky one-liners, and mischievous observations to anything like unintended puns or solid wisdom nuggets, children are cracking jokes like there’s no tomorrow.
So, when Jimmy Fallon announced his hashtag #KidQuotes challenge on Twitter, there was no question that it would get some darn funny stories. “Parmesan cheese is like glitter for spaghetti” is just one out of many hilarious examples. Sit back and tune in for the most comical tweets below, and don’t forget to upvote your favorites!
This post may include affiliate links.
I would have peed myself in the pews. That is hilarious!
Jimmy Fallon’s hashtag challenges for The Tonight Show on NBC are among the most popular sketches on the show. Every Thursday, the Brooklyn-born comedian invites the Twitter community to share stories on one of many requested tags—from #MyDumbInjury to #WorstRoadTripEver. He then reads them out loud on the show, making everyone burst into laughter.
But not everyone is impressed by the trend of spelling hashtags out loud. One particular skit by Fallon seven years ago caught the attention of Chris Messina, the founder of the hashtag. During the sketch, Fallon and Justin Timberlake talked about mundane things, "hashtagging" everything until the discussion made little sense. Messina commented that “what Fallon has depicted is actually how teenagers are talking now… and I’m kind of like, ‘Oh God… what have I done?'” Is it really so wrong to have a tiny bit of fun with these nerdy metadata tags? Pandas, tell us what you think in the comments!
My grandson locked us out of my car with keys inside. My girlfriend said he could go upstairs and play with her son until we had to leave. Later, I asked if he had fun playing with Keegan?He said " Not really. He kicked me in my generals"...
My son told his kindergarten classmates that the correct word for 'balls' was 'tentacles'. I was just happy he was trying to be accurate....
My son (7) came back from school with the revelation, that girls have... "china" ;)
Before I got married, I suffered through way too many first—-and only—-dates where the tentacles part happened.
wow interesting i mean i knew that in third grade but no one taught us and i sure as hell didnt know about testacles. and here we like learn or start anatomy or health in fifth grade and then go into it more in middle school. but its cool different people learn different things at different times. also respect if i can barley maturely handle health now so respect.
Everyone saying this is inappropriate for 3rd graders should keep in mind it says "about anatomy", I am sure that was limited to organs, limbs, and appendages and did not cover such topics are "how babies are made".
wait hold da f*uck up ( excuse my language) i mean i knew that in third grade but we start learning anatomy and health in fifth and go more into it in middle school . where do yall live?
we learned in 4rth not seriously but an overview. its importent
Load More Replies... When she grows up she'll find that it was a pretty accurate statement!
Why are they learning about genitalia in 3rd grade? I asked what sex was at 10-
which is technically 3rd grade, like ive been on the hub ik what it is but like im in 8th and the teachers have barely said anything abt sex yet to us
Load More Replies...
We had someone come in and teach this to my class in first grade, when I was 6. They used an educational picture book too. People who are outraged about 3rd grade, at 9 years old, really need to get over it.
Load More Replies...
This is how I am feeling about 2020. This year just needs to f**k right off.
I remember when my daughter was about 6, she had just had a bath and pulled the plug out. I walked away to get something and I could hear her saying “whee, whee, whee”, I went back and she is there sliding backwards and forwards in the slippery bath. I asked her what she was doing and she replied “I’m ice skating.......on my butt”. Omg I cracked up laughing.
That’s actually a good way to describe it, better than pins and needles.
Note: this post originally had 57 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Our daughter stumbled and hit her foot against the curb last week, her reaction "Ouch! Oh man, that was my favorite foot"
My all-time favourite was a little kid leaving Science camp. His dad said "How was it?" Kid goes "It was awesome! Except for the explosions. There were no explosions."
This happened about 20 years ago and it still makes me laugh: I was in the grocery store when I hear some poor beleaguered mom yell, "ANGELO, PUT THAT EGGPLANT DOWN!" I turned to see a little 3-year-old holding an eggplant over his head, running around the produce section, howling, "WHEEoooohWHEEoooohhhhh!"
4 year old son farted in church and yelled " DAD you did it again!"- lots of laughter. My husband turned bright red.
On of my most favorite conversations with one of my kids (although kinda heartbreaking at the time lol) On my 30th Birthday: My then 5 yo: "Mama.... how old is you?" Me: "I'm 30 today baby!" Her: Eyes go wide, "Whaaaat? You should be dead!" Me: .... Thanks kid.... thanks. She is now 13 and I still tease her.
My daughter likes to hide around the house and scare me. Just today she hid behind the master bedroom door and when I walked in she smacked a balloon right past my head. She's 7, I'll be lucky if I live till she graduates.
One time a four-year-old named Joshua saw my rather ample stomach and asked me, "John (I am a male) are you going to have a Baby?"
Someone gave the little boy a poorly made stuffed toy unicorn. Says he; "Daddy, why he got a pee pee on his head?"
This happened about 25years ago , but it still makes me smile... I was heading into Victoria Secrets, my 4year old son looked up at me and said " mom whose Victoria, and what are her secrets ?? " Of course he refused to go inside the store and went to sit by an elderly man who also didn't want to go in... 😂😂
You should see and hear some of the video from the old "Art Linkletter" show when they had the segments called "Kids say the darndest things". He would have a group of kids on the show, interview them and just raise his eyebrows and smile at some of the answers while the audience roared with laughter. YouTube has some of the videos from the show. I am old enough to have watched it live.
Load More Replies...
My 7yr old daughter: mum, would you do a singing competition like the X Factor? Me: no, I would be too scared to sing in front of all those people Daughter: good, because you can't sing! Me: i was at a party doing karaoke the other week and people said it was very good Daughter: they were lying! Kids, if you want regular boosts of your self esteem ;)
My oldest brother, when he was little had a really hard time pronouncing Tr, they came out as Fs. Unfortunately his favorite thing was a truck.....
My grandkids were on the trampoline. Ronan comes running to tell me that Whitley said a bad word. I asked her what she said. She says, "I just told him that he was going to fall off the hecking trampoline. And Mimi, you can't tell the little bastard nothing!"
This not the time, place, venue, who, what, where, when, why how!
Load More Replies... Our daughter stumbled and hit her foot against the curb last week, her reaction "Ouch! Oh man, that was my favorite foot"
My all-time favourite was a little kid leaving Science camp. His dad said "How was it?" Kid goes "It was awesome! Except for the explosions. There were no explosions."
This happened about 20 years ago and it still makes me laugh: I was in the grocery store when I hear some poor beleaguered mom yell, "ANGELO, PUT THAT EGGPLANT DOWN!" I turned to see a little 3-year-old holding an eggplant over his head, running around the produce section, howling, "WHEEoooohWHEEoooohhhhh!"
4 year old son farted in church and yelled " DAD you did it again!"- lots of laughter. My husband turned bright red.
On of my most favorite conversations with one of my kids (although kinda heartbreaking at the time lol) On my 30th Birthday: My then 5 yo: "Mama.... how old is you?" Me: "I'm 30 today baby!" Her: Eyes go wide, "Whaaaat? You should be dead!" Me: .... Thanks kid.... thanks. She is now 13 and I still tease her.
My daughter likes to hide around the house and scare me. Just today she hid behind the master bedroom door and when I walked in she smacked a balloon right past my head. She's 7, I'll be lucky if I live till she graduates.
One time a four-year-old named Joshua saw my rather ample stomach and asked me, "John (I am a male) are you going to have a Baby?"
Someone gave the little boy a poorly made stuffed toy unicorn. Says he; "Daddy, why he got a pee pee on his head?"
This happened about 25years ago , but it still makes me smile... I was heading into Victoria Secrets, my 4year old son looked up at me and said " mom whose Victoria, and what are her secrets ?? " Of course he refused to go inside the store and went to sit by an elderly man who also didn't want to go in... 😂😂
You should see and hear some of the video from the old "Art Linkletter" show when they had the segments called "Kids say the darndest things". He would have a group of kids on the show, interview them and just raise his eyebrows and smile at some of the answers while the audience roared with laughter. YouTube has some of the videos from the show. I am old enough to have watched it live.
Load More Replies... My 7yr old daughter: mum, would you do a singing competition like the X Factor? Me: no, I would be too scared to sing in front of all those people Daughter: good, because you can't sing! Me: i was at a party doing karaoke the other week and people said it was very good Daughter: they were lying! Kids, if you want regular boosts of your self esteem ;)
My oldest brother, when he was little had a really hard time pronouncing Tr, they came out as Fs. Unfortunately his favorite thing was a truck.....
My grandkids were on the trampoline. Ronan comes running to tell me that Whitley said a bad word. I asked her what she said. She says, "I just told him that he was going to fall off the hecking trampoline. And Mimi, you can't tell the little bastard nothing!"
This not the time, place, venue, who, what, where, when, why how!
Load More Replies...