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From what we’ve seen happening in the world so far, no pandemic can ever stop the pundemic! In these trying times, jokes are among a small handful of things we still have control over. The others are which PJ’s you wear for work o'clock and wine o'clock.

And for this reason, the newest coronavirus jokes of the week are in! Compiled by Bored Panda and executed by some of the wittiest minds on the internet, the gems are at your service. Consume recklessly, because a little comedy never killed nobody.

And if you need another dose of feel-good laughter, you know where to look: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6. You’re welcome.

#1

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Hans
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Corona might have one good outcome: people FINALLY learn to mute themselves in virtual meetings when not talking.

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#2

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Bored Panda contacted Ariane Ling, a clinical instructor in the the Department of Psychiatry at NYU Langone Health, who told us about the toll the current crisis has on our emotional state. It turns out that harnessing a sense of humor during this time is one of the most effective strategies to cope with unpleasant feelings.

Ling explained that there are both short-term and long-term benefits of cracking a joke now and then amid the crisis. “It helps to manage and tolerate stress in the moment while also maintaining perspective and resilience moving forward.” Humor is one creative way of coping rather than avoiding and going into denial about things.

#5

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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R L
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I go to church weekly and I wouldn't be so silly as to attend in this current environment- it's looking for trouble if you do, and irresponsible.

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KatKaleen
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not religious, but I really like the idea the different religious groups in my community came up with when they couldn't hold services in their churches anymore (three or four weeks ago). They still ring the bells when church services would usually be conducted and invited people via our town newspaper (more of a leaflet with town news, but it's free and everybody gets one) to simply pray together from home. That's neat.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too right, especially the catholic church. The amount of money they make is astounding, yet people still fall for it.

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Juririn
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would say, especially the evangelical megachurches, they are the spreaders of ignorance and stupidity.

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Brandy Grote
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend is a vicar, she does her services through the Facebook video thing. Her husband helps with readings and music, and it's nice! She lives kinda far, so it's great to see her services!

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J-Yogi-Temp-Mom
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldn't agree MORE with that response. They absolutely should be taxed, especially if they don't want to follow the guidelines to help keep people safe and healthy.

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Lorrie Finley
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There needs to be some sort of consistency from the "leader" and then those that refuse to follow have specific charges. There's too many inconsistencies for charges from petty crime to terrorism. When someone intentionally puts another in harm's way with a weapon as deadly as COVID 19, then it's much more than a petty crime. And the punishment has to be impactful, not a slap on the wrist.

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Crusin Sandi
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, Yes!! Tax them and then we might actually know how much the really make

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Sergio Bicerra Descalzi
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't trust church one bit, but seen some that are quite good. Can't remember which one, but their signs read somerhing along the lines of "You are gay? You are welcome here, we like rainbow flags too" i find it great, really.

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Terd Fergison
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The churches should be held accountable and taxed. The governor should be held criminally liable, prosecuted, fined, and thrown in jail.

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Water Bottle
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4 years ago

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You only seem to comment on religious posts, and when you do comment it is always bathes other people’s religions in a very negative light.

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deanna woods
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think God will understand if you don't go to church for a few weeks. He knows what's going on and I don't think he would want us to get sick in his name.

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Wottermehlon Doge
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Passover is tomorrow and I'm gonna be having a seder all by myself... damn you 2020

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Terd Fergison
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wottermehlon Doge, have you thought about the morality of the god of the bible and the passover story? God's plague in Egypt was to kill first born Egyptian sons. We have to conclude that some of them must have been babies, infants, toddlers, etc. You are worshipping a baby murdering god. Isn't that sickening? Also this supposedly all-knowing god can't even tell who his chosen people are. He needed the jews to slaughter innocent lambs and wipe their blood on their doors, so he would know what babies not to murder. Just a f*****g disgusting and insipidly stupid story.

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CincyReds
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just don't get how it is essential. I have not been to Mass since this all started. Isn't God everywhere?

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Chris Lee
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Churches qualify for the loan relief and possibly will not have to pay them back. The separation of church and state is one way now.

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M E
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHAT do you expect the MORONS ELECT MORONS they need and want to get the COVED 19 aw I hope everyone coughs on them

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Lorraine R
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about we rewrite the tax code so that the billionaires pay their fair share? They love to donate huge amounts to galleries and museums and opera companies for tax write-offs, but darn few give anything to help the truly poor who need it, as the churches do.

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M Adams
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Churches are nonprofit, and they do pay property taxes usually. Their employees pay income taxes. Churches give away food, clothing, and sometimes provide shelter and help in a time of need. The purpose of a business is to make money.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never heard of Paula White? Or that vicar that bought his wife a Lamborghini? Or all the televangelists getting loaded and living the good life on their parishioners donations to the church? Never heard of the enormous treasures in the Vatican? Churches were never intended to be non profit.

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Christina Uhlir
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The government is afraid to govern, and I doubt that God sent down his lobbyist.

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Smiley Rie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not sure which is worse - the woman caught on video coming from a large church service saying she's not worried about catching it because she is "covered in Jesus' blood", (& this view is shared by her minister), the Orthodox church leaders refusing to stop their "one spoon" sharing ceremony, because "it's a religious ceremony so will be protected by God", the priests in Myanmar who advocate putting 7 peppercorns under the tongue to protect from the virus or the one in Iran who advocates putting primrose oil on your a**s to protect from it... are they trying to secretly cull their congregations??? https://globalnews.ca/news/6787633/coronavirus-easter-pastors/

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Christina Uhlir
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think so, they want collect dues; it seems that religious people simply believe in the fiction.

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Trish Greene
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just crazy talk. I watch my church services online...at least until this is over.

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Frozengeckolover
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most churches could still meet, if they would follow the rules: no more than 10 people at a time and everyone stays 6 feet apart. But, no church is going to do that, so they need to close. All the churches in my area have started doing their services online and the preachers (priests, rabbis, deacons, elders, etc.) are doing live chat or phone calls for people who need to talk in private. I'm not religious, but some are arguing that the Bible says, "forsake not the assembling of yourselves" (meaning you should attend church). However, when that was written, he never envisioned the social media outlets we have nowadays. You can assemble online; I'm pretty sure God would be cool with that. I'm also pretty sure your God would be very disappointed in you if you endangered your entire community just to attend church.

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Amanda Hunter
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They'll be extra busy holding the funerals of the congregation then.

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Troy Currie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God helps those who help themselves...he tends to leave the idiots alone.

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Mya Lugar
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus Christ..This is not a planet-wide myth that demands people in a pandemic mingle and put others at risk of spread. Put the service on skype or something. or print a program. Maybe they found go through a drive through to get it.

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Chris Jones
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unnecessary journey. Could have an accident and put emergency services at risk and also use valuable resources. Stay at home and worship online.

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Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm all for letting church continue. The plague that is religion will solve itself.

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Colin L
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem being they will spread the germs far and wide... and like proselytizing, nobody wants that!

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sharron lynn parsons
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We do not need to be in a religious building, worship comes from the heart !!!

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Bonnie Clark
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes they are a business, BUT social distancing is more VIP. Use ZOOM for your congregrations. Must safer that getting sick and or/dieing

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Fluffypuppy234 Idc
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish my state did this nit going to church especially on Easter is wrong

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Andy Johnson
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

GODS WORK..EVERYONE'S BUSINESS..LASTS FOR ETERNITY. PLUS FIRE INSURANCE

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DiegoS
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

people can pray together with zoom or alike if they want instead

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AnnSmithJones
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's says the CONDUCT essential business. Churches provide food, clothing, shelter, financial aid, counseling and health care services to people all over the world, no matter who they are. Most mainstream churches (Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, etc) are closed and only have the very minimum of staff to help with the huge influx of funerals & emergency help for the needy. It's the pop-up evangelical churches that are being selfish. Check your bigotry.

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AnnSmithJones
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Churches provide food, clothing, health care, shelter and counseling to millions of people around the world. With the exception of a lot of the evangelical churches, most mainstream churches are closed, only having a few staff to help with funerals. So check your bigotry.

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Understandably, many of us feel anxious and keeping that sense of humor up is one of the very few resources we have right now. “Patients have shared how things that would normally help with stress are no longer available, including meeting up with friends for brunch, playing sports with their local league, going to the gym, etc,” said Ling. As a result, some “of my patients have described [the situation] as surreal or floating without an anchor.”

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According to Ling, psychological wellbeing can also go in a positive direction where it is possible to keep spirits high when faced with large-scale tragedy. She explained: “Despite physical distancing, it's evident that people have been taking advantage of technology to stay social and connected. I’ve learned from my patients that holding on to gratitude is also critical in bolstering resilience.” It all comes down to being thankful for small things and enjoying the moment.

The clinical instructor also told us that in their NYU Langone Health clinic, “we started a 'good vibes' email chain where we share uplifting stories and clever memes.” So next time you’re thinking of sharing that meme with your friends and relatives, just press send—it may be all they need now.

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#12

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Lazy Farmer
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HAHAHA! I bet lots of cats feel the same way. My dog's are also starting to look a bit tired. Instead of sleeping all day as usual, they now have to follow my husband in case he's eating something or doing something interesting.

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#13

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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#14

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#17

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Rama Llama
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh god, I have been so caught up with all this alone time that I haven't even though that there are introverts that live with other people.

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#18

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Foxxy (The Original)
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been TRYING to sleep in now that I don’t have to get my son ready for school.

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#20

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Rabbit Carrot
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else actually want to try that. Put some water underneath and it’d be fun.

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#23

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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EA
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talking about you Chrissy Tegan and the Beckhams -_- tell us all again how you’re struggling to cope from inside your mansion with huge grounds and nannies and live in staff...

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#26

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Lou
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet you took the gun because there's also yeast on the list.

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#29

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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EA
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I choked on a sweet the other day whilst sitting in the back garden. We live next door to a garage and shop and I swear the people queuing to get groceries were freaking out about the ill person in the house next door 😬 And I just wanted to shout I’M NOT INFECTED JUST AN IDIOT DON’T WORRY.

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#31

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least 3 times in 2 weeks we have had massive groups of people hanging out at the beach. Like seriously, these people are completely f****d in the head. What part of STAY THE F**K AT HOME do they not understand.

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#39

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#40

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Hans
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Goverment also: "Being essential and reasonable pay have nothing to do with each other."

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