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Dad Has To Tell His Daughter He Was A Bully At School, Feels So Bad He Apologizes To His Victim 20 Years Later
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Dad Has To Tell His Daughter He Was A Bully At School, Feels So Bad He Apologizes To His Victim 20 Years Later

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Most of us have either been the victims of bullies at school or have even been in the shoes of bullies at some point in our lives. Whether you were a bully or a victim, it’s hard to forget what happened, no matter how many years go by.

That’s the moral of one heart-warming story which showed that apologies for having bullied someone really do matter. Even if it takes 20 years to genuinely say ‘sorry.’

When Louie Amundson’s 10-year-old daughter asked him if he’d ever bullied someone in school, he reluctantly said ‘yes.’ This prompted him to get in contact with Chad Morrisette, the person he teased and was mean to back in junior high school. Chad accepted the apology and both he and Louie felt miles better than before, as though a heavy emotional weight were lifted off both their shoulders.

A former school bully apologized to his victim

Image credits: Inside Edition

Stories like this one really help restore (at least part of) your faith in humanity. What’s more, it shows that an apology is important and has the power to start the healing process.

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Image credits: Inside Edition

The fact of the matter is, bullying is a complex issue and can’t be solved simply by telling victims to ‘stand up for themselves’ and telling the bullies to ‘stop what they’re doing.’ It’s an issue that requires a lot of hands-on help and understanding that the bullies themselves might be lashing out because of serious problems at school, at home, as well as in their personal lives.

Image credits: Inside Edition

According to ‘Ditch the Label,’ which interviewed 8,850 people, around half of them admitted to having been bullied before their 20th birthday. Meanwhile, 14 percent admitted to having been bullies themselves.

Image credits: Inside Edition

Data shows that bullies are more likely than average to have been victims of stressful and traumatic situations, for example, one of their relatives dying or their parents getting divorced.

It took 20 years for the apology to happen, but it was appreciated very much

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Image credits: Inside Edition

It’s up to each and everyone one of us whether we release stress in positive ways (such as exercising or meditating) or in negative ways (such as bullying, smoking, abusing alcohol and drugs).

Here’s a video of the pair reuniting

Image credits: Inside Edition

Bullies also often have low self-esteem, have been victims of other bullies themselves in the past, lack parental guidance at home, or don’t have a firm foundation in their lives.

Here’s what people had to say about bullying

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james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Still to this day I am effected by the bullying I endured during my school years but I am slowly starting to heal myself. I still don’t like myself but I have learnt a few things in the past year or two. The people who matter don’t care and the people who care don’t matter. I know I am a good person and I now realise that people who are not in my life have no control over me. I am more resilient towards others just not myself lol. I am my own worst enemy.

shannonodland avatar
Dippin Dot
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Foxy, you're not alone - I was bullied for 4 years in a Catholic elementary school where there were only 8 girls in my class - it was 7 against 1, and teachers turned a blind eye. Therapy has helped me realize that it was during these formative years that I established patterns of negative thoughts that effect met to this day. It's only recently that I've been able to learn how to handle my thoughts to not let them completely take over my world.

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bp_10 avatar
WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So 1 bully apologises to 1 victim. Great. How about all the teachers and principals that kept their eyes closed and mouths shut when they saw the bullying going on and refused to do anything about it? How about all the teachers and principals that still keep their eyes closed and mouths shut when they see the bullying going on and still refuse to do anything about it? How many children have to commit suicide before schools start to take their responsibilty instead of issuing the same statements of "deep sorrow and regret" and the empty promises of "looking in to the matter and come up with some plan." ?

edsouza avatar
Ed Souza
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, my teachers never said a f*****g thing about me getting bullied, many times during class. Pisses me off to this day.

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rhea_bhtchrya avatar
OCD Mom
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember in junior high, there was a girl who used to bully me everyday. I was mousy and little, she was pretty popular. She didn't even realize that she was bullying me until I told her off one day. She apologized and we went on to become friends to very close friends. And now she is among the very few school friends I am still in touch with.

kaxopah940 avatar
AnalinaBabe17
Community Member
4 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

message (。❤‿❤。) me when you're free ==>> v︆︆.︆︆︆ht/M9ol

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emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This subject came up when high school reunions were discussed on our schools Fb page. I mentioned that I didn't want anything to do with reunions after being picked on and bullied most of my school years. One girl said "I was bullied and picked on..just get over it!" I'm sorry..I was bullied at school and at home. I had no safe haven. Going to school everyday to face those bullies made me sick every morning with depression and anxiety. My only two saving graces was my sister's friends that taught me how to stand up for myself and the new student that became my best friend and defender for the past 33 years. Apologies go a long way to heal old wounds. If you picked on someone in the past, saying your sorry now can make all the difference in a persons life for both parties involved.

catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Saying “get over it” to you is just an updated form of bullying. It’s both ugly and contemptible.

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joebloe_1 avatar
Joe Bloe
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a victim of bullying for years at school, until I finally had enough. I lost weight, became an obsessive gym junkie and waited until the inevitable day came when one of my bullies would try to start something with me. I levelled him to the floor and broke his nose. The word got out, and I was left alone permanently after that. Sometimes no measure of reason can be employed to counter those that have psychopathic tendencies (which is often accompanied by narcissism/borderline personality disorder and a lack of empathy). Sometimes you must meet them according to their own rules and beat them at their own game. It is an inescapable fact that our race is still run by and grossly populated with uneducated, un-empathetic, self-centred and supremely intellectually-challenged primitives. Do your best to employ the most logical course of action under each particular set of circumstances.

hest avatar
Henrik Petersen
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish just one of my bullies, who nearly cost me my life, would remember what they did. But, I'm not even sure I would or could forgive them, for what they have done

blakkursverrir avatar
Blakkur Sverrir
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was bullied in school, a lot. Humiliated, insulted, beaten up. Until the day I snapped and broke the nose and arm of one of my bullies. I dont think I need to "forgive" my bullies. Honestly I dont care about them. But maybe they should apologize to the guy who was on the wrong end when that s**t boiled over. Because that day I learned: Violence CAN solve some of your problems. Like one of the other commenters I still have trust and rage issues, even 20 years later. Luckily I also have iron self control. But I am afraid of the day when my self control fails. Or when I come to the conclusion that violence would be justified in a particular situation. I hope to rise my kids better

shewolfalia avatar
Alia G.
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry you had to deal with so much abuse. Maybe that bully deserved it, and I don't know you, but maybe if you're not already you might want to talk to someone. I hope you're okay.

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dremosley avatar
Dre Mosley
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not even sure how I'd react if the guy who bullied me did that. I was angry for years over it, and sort of took a dark pleasure in the fact that his life turned out kinda crappy(I chalked it up to Karma). I've let it go now, but bullying has lasting effects.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was bullied in the 7th and 8th grade and two of my bullies cannot come back to this town because they threatened to pull a school shooting and the other two guys are really nice to me whenever they see me. One of the other guys punched me in the nose in the 7th grade. My dad wanted him punished, but the assistant principal told him that because I pushed this guy he would have to punish us both because I started it. That assistant principal didn't last long at our school. I have forgiven all of these guys and try to go on with my life.

cindyreedsnyder_1 avatar
Cindy Snow
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk about bullying but I still recall one girl telling me " nobody would ever want you" and another time casually threatening to slap me...for joining in a conversation. She is still married to the dumb jock guy she stole from her " friend"...and he's so glad now. I guess I let things go but I do wonder if she was ever sorry( she was a b***h to a lot of other people too).

rainbownews avatar
Rainbow Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate rude people. I wanted to help others by being a police, but my physical abilities do not allow me. Please support people. Bullying is not the answer.

voodounlou avatar
Lou Lopez
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like other commenters, the extensive bullying I endured in elementary school left me with a lifelong distrust of authority, rage issues, and a willingness to employ physical violence. In my experience, the only thing that stops a bully is putting the fear of pain into them. Teachers would tell me I was "so brave," or "you're really strong" but do nothing to stop the abuse. I would be tormented and harassed until I snapped and then the bullies would go running to the yard duties and *I* would get written up. I'm "over it" now in the sense that I don't carry a grudge against any specific person, but I will never stop being angry at the failure of the adults around me to protect me. To this day I hate those "very special" episodes where the main character in a kids/teen show fights against their bully and then is shamed for it. It seems society is more scandalized by defending yourself than by the bully.

pusheenbuttercup avatar
pusheen buttercup
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly the most significant bullying I got was from the teachers. Yes the other kids bullied me, yes I hated it, but honestly I don't blame them near as much. I know my worst bullies, the teachers, are not going to apologize. I'm at peace with it, and I am happy I did not let it ruin my life. The memories still bother me but I have successfully moved on while taking valuable lessons from it with me- I am stronger for it. I'm happy this one bully decided to own up to it, his child can learn a lot from him.

nexe7 avatar
Martina Weber
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My bully died because she didn't wear a seatbelt while her drunk friend drove into a wall. Hearing that put a huuuuge involantary smile on my face. The other bully was my father, but still wasn't happy when he died in a motorcycle crash..

misstea2020 avatar
Moo Moo Futch
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I went and asked all those who bullied me growing up for an apology I would be walking a lot. But since one of those bullies broke my right leg and I still suffer from fall out from that particular nasty brake, i have a lot of pain in my leg as a result. It's also longer due to the traction.

marcurruela avatar
Marc Urruela
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

E pluribus unum, now try share the love, sorry for the openess,

bimbitmalaysia avatar
Bimbit Malaysia
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least he got an apology from his bully, I haven't received mine yet you see my bully lives near my home he's been bullying me Tru primary and high school and occasionally I sometimes see him in my adult life, because his house is close to mine, then he moved out far away and I thought this will be the end of it I won't have to see his face or hear stories about him anymore, skip few years later my bully has become a movie star, with a hot girlfriend actress living rich in his penthouse and still living the dream the same way he was the school jock and prom king, while I'm almost 30 with career not going anywhere, balding and short still live in my mother's basement, don't worry I'm not sharing my story to seek sympathy, I just want to share my story so that for some of. You like me on the toilet while reading comments could have a nice chuckle about it and reflect ,

manic_sania_pro avatar
Помаже Бог
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk, I've been litteraly bullied during my entire school life (except once I got to Uni). It didn't affect me, I've had a strong mom who taught me how to be strong too, not to care, and to litteraly fight physically anyone who'd cross a line. So I fought a lot as a kid, especially older guys (I was frizzy, overweight, of foreign origins and nerdy...). That got me to be feared, respected, but hated too. Didn't care. We really need to toughen and realize WE ARE NOT THE PROBLEM, the bullies are. We need to teach our kids how to react and stop telling them that "the best way to answer a dummy is by remaining silent", as we're told in france. That's not true. The less you retaliate, the more they push the limits (the bullies). Just see what happened to Marina Abramovic in her experiment, when she let people do litteraly anything they'd want to her, without objecting. STAND UP FOR YOURSELVES. Kids are CRUEL between each other, it's up to you not to undergo this. Be strong. Fight back.

ionescupopa avatar
Ionescu Popa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's worst, the bullies are now rewarded woth recruitment into satanist organizations, that's why bullying will never be solved in the current system, as they used it to select "the fitted"from "the unfitted". Look at them - the bullied one is smaller and thinner, while the bully is an oligophrene monster who got a rewarding job. They are selecting you, people, killing your souls one by one!

westwingpotus avatar
westwing
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I can appreciate the story, I had a bully in school who daily made my life a miserable hell for no reason other than he enjoyed it. I don’t know where he is today but I hope he is dead, and I hope it was painful....

shaynameidela avatar
Dorothy Parker
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wrote in my hometown Facebook group about being bullied by a number of kids in elementary school. One of the boys in my class, whom I hadn't seen in decades, said if he did bully me he was truly sorry. It really helped.

jenniferprescott avatar
Jennifer Prescott
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What do you do when the bully is also the popular girl everyone wants to be friends with? Even her friends were afraid of her, she was so mean. When I moved to a new school district, I was thrilled to get away from her...and then ran into her while shopping one day. It was a nightmare and I could barely talk to her. She wanted to know where I'd been and why had I moved and I didn't have the awareness to know how to deal with her without just shrugging and not answering. Meh. Pretty sure she got away with being a bully and thinking she was the nicest person ever. She made elementary school miserable. Being in a new distract was hard but so much better than suffering through HS with her.

tenay_douglas avatar
Tenay Douglas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All I know is I had bullies and in fifth grade there were these two guys who I never saw around school but always showed up when the guy (my bully) would come after me, do me all it proved is how weak he was inside to go after a like 3ft tall girl when he was five ft. Best part was when his friends finally told his mom and he got it in front of the whole class then had to apologize too, never bullied me again.

catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for his friends for behaving decently. I’m sure everyone benefited

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catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Zero sympathy for or understanding of this bully or any other. He should just live his damn life and try to stay away from decent humans as much as possible.

ionescupopa avatar
Ionescu Popa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You'll laugh like shyte, but he is considered the decent human now. Onlt two other groups used this kind of negative selection for breeding certain tares in their people - spartans and shadow demons in the Age of Wonders.

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rangerkanootsen avatar
Ranger Kanootsen
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what saddens me is that the teachers never do anything about it...

dirigobill avatar
Bill
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My bully growing up is one of my best friends since HS. It took one fist fight after 8 years of bullying to fix things.

dopethronepunkuk avatar
HoffLensMetalHedLovesAnimalsUK
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That bully can take his apology and stick up it his a*s, i wasn't ever bullied but i saw people who were, too little too late. Just trying to look less like a d**k in front of your daughter, that's the only reason, fake.

nashamagirl avatar
Nia Loves Art
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So trying to move forward in life, set a good example for his daughter, and be a good parent is fake?

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acidly_burnedfb avatar
Krystyna Kielar
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

storm_and_baby avatar
Lisa T
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was bullied for 5 years in high school. Went to an all girls school. By the end of year 10 (16 years old) the majority of my grade disliked me, solely because the “gang” at school was bullying me for so long, so therefore I must be someone to be disliked. This was in the 80’s. I’m now 48 and it has affected my life, but more so now in the last few years as my three kids were/are teenagers so it’s brought it all flooding back. It’s over these last few years that I’ve developed depression and severe anxiety. In hindsight it was always there I think but not to these extremes.

markfuller avatar
Mark Fuller
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think most of us were bullied at some point or another in school, to a greater or lessor extent. I was, time heals and life moves on. The bullying I've experienced as an adult in the workplace is a damn sight more painful. And yet grown up bullies barely seem to know they are doing it or how cruel they are. And they sure as hell don't show any signs of apologising...

nashamagirl avatar
Nia Loves Art
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, it truly never ends. I’m in college and there are still awful, catty, obnoxious people. Probably even old age homes have bullies.

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tacitus86 avatar
Tacitus86
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got bullied in grade school. It was a really tough time. But I think it made me a stronger person. It also freed me from letting what other people think hurt my mental state.

edsouza avatar
Ed Souza
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was bullied bad when I was freshmen in HS. It was a group of 6 bullies I'll never forget. I actually got into fistfights with 3 of them and it didn't help at all. It got so bad, I started to skip classes... I can totally relate to this guy and feel for both. I have a daughter now and really worry about her and bullies.

pseudo_puppy avatar
Pseudo Puppy
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

for those who say "forgiveness is for yourself, not them"... this proves the contrary. By "forgiving" someone, it "lifts a weight off their shoulders", and makes them "feel so much better". Forgiveness, by definition, IS 100% about making the other person feel better. "Not holding on to the negative impact of someone else's actions", and "forgiving someone" are 2 totally different things.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's the kicker. You can forgive someone without telling them. If you've forgiven them in your heart, you're the one that benefits from the good feeling. It doesn't mean you have to let them off the hook. I actually demanded an apology from one of my abusers. He spent several minutes trying to claim it never happened. I found out later that he had burned out a good portion of his brain doing heavy duty drugs during and after high school. Not surprised he didn't remember. But it got me thinking that his drug use, like his bullying, was a way for him to deal with his own self-loathing. Even though no apology came, I forgave his cruel acts because there was no point to carrying them around. If I'd kept them, I might have ended up like him..brain half burned out from self-medicating the pain away. It's not worth it to hold onto their inability to cope.

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leahhelbig avatar
Leah Helbig
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who wasn't bullied in school kids tried to bully me but soon learned that I don't get mad I get even. Soon everyone learned don't mess with her she is mean when she has to be I teach my kids the same. If someone thinks they can put their hands on you you have the god given right to defend yourself and my kids don't cry about bullying. I broke my worst bully's nose had to serve a week of in school but it was worth it to see her face every time I walked in the room get tougher people or this world will eat you

sammyanne1_sh avatar
Helen Haley
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Usually, the physical bullying will not leave the lasting damage that emotional bullying will. Telling people to toughen up just puts the onus on the victim. Why not tell people to not let their children be aggressive little a******s who will scar other children for life.

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redsongamble avatar
TheExtremeSmell
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk what you guys are talking about. I was never bullied I liked having my head dunked in the toilets. The quarterback was my best friend he’d joke around by putting me in a locker or having sex with my mom.

leobowdy1 avatar
Shart
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

And lets be honest..as much as boys physically bully one another...girls take it to a whole another level.

coreypichler avatar
leobowdy1 avatar
Shart
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Im sorry but if your actually looking for your bully 20 yrs later....something upstairs isnt running right

james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Still to this day I am effected by the bullying I endured during my school years but I am slowly starting to heal myself. I still don’t like myself but I have learnt a few things in the past year or two. The people who matter don’t care and the people who care don’t matter. I know I am a good person and I now realise that people who are not in my life have no control over me. I am more resilient towards others just not myself lol. I am my own worst enemy.

shannonodland avatar
Dippin Dot
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Foxy, you're not alone - I was bullied for 4 years in a Catholic elementary school where there were only 8 girls in my class - it was 7 against 1, and teachers turned a blind eye. Therapy has helped me realize that it was during these formative years that I established patterns of negative thoughts that effect met to this day. It's only recently that I've been able to learn how to handle my thoughts to not let them completely take over my world.

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bp_10 avatar
WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So 1 bully apologises to 1 victim. Great. How about all the teachers and principals that kept their eyes closed and mouths shut when they saw the bullying going on and refused to do anything about it? How about all the teachers and principals that still keep their eyes closed and mouths shut when they see the bullying going on and still refuse to do anything about it? How many children have to commit suicide before schools start to take their responsibilty instead of issuing the same statements of "deep sorrow and regret" and the empty promises of "looking in to the matter and come up with some plan." ?

edsouza avatar
Ed Souza
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, my teachers never said a f*****g thing about me getting bullied, many times during class. Pisses me off to this day.

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rhea_bhtchrya avatar
OCD Mom
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember in junior high, there was a girl who used to bully me everyday. I was mousy and little, she was pretty popular. She didn't even realize that she was bullying me until I told her off one day. She apologized and we went on to become friends to very close friends. And now she is among the very few school friends I am still in touch with.

kaxopah940 avatar
AnalinaBabe17
Community Member
4 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

message (。❤‿❤。) me when you're free ==>> v︆︆.︆︆︆ht/M9ol

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emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This subject came up when high school reunions were discussed on our schools Fb page. I mentioned that I didn't want anything to do with reunions after being picked on and bullied most of my school years. One girl said "I was bullied and picked on..just get over it!" I'm sorry..I was bullied at school and at home. I had no safe haven. Going to school everyday to face those bullies made me sick every morning with depression and anxiety. My only two saving graces was my sister's friends that taught me how to stand up for myself and the new student that became my best friend and defender for the past 33 years. Apologies go a long way to heal old wounds. If you picked on someone in the past, saying your sorry now can make all the difference in a persons life for both parties involved.

catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Saying “get over it” to you is just an updated form of bullying. It’s both ugly and contemptible.

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joebloe_1 avatar
Joe Bloe
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a victim of bullying for years at school, until I finally had enough. I lost weight, became an obsessive gym junkie and waited until the inevitable day came when one of my bullies would try to start something with me. I levelled him to the floor and broke his nose. The word got out, and I was left alone permanently after that. Sometimes no measure of reason can be employed to counter those that have psychopathic tendencies (which is often accompanied by narcissism/borderline personality disorder and a lack of empathy). Sometimes you must meet them according to their own rules and beat them at their own game. It is an inescapable fact that our race is still run by and grossly populated with uneducated, un-empathetic, self-centred and supremely intellectually-challenged primitives. Do your best to employ the most logical course of action under each particular set of circumstances.

hest avatar
Henrik Petersen
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish just one of my bullies, who nearly cost me my life, would remember what they did. But, I'm not even sure I would or could forgive them, for what they have done

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Blakkur Sverrir
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was bullied in school, a lot. Humiliated, insulted, beaten up. Until the day I snapped and broke the nose and arm of one of my bullies. I dont think I need to "forgive" my bullies. Honestly I dont care about them. But maybe they should apologize to the guy who was on the wrong end when that s**t boiled over. Because that day I learned: Violence CAN solve some of your problems. Like one of the other commenters I still have trust and rage issues, even 20 years later. Luckily I also have iron self control. But I am afraid of the day when my self control fails. Or when I come to the conclusion that violence would be justified in a particular situation. I hope to rise my kids better

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Alia G.
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry you had to deal with so much abuse. Maybe that bully deserved it, and I don't know you, but maybe if you're not already you might want to talk to someone. I hope you're okay.

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Dre Mosley
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not even sure how I'd react if the guy who bullied me did that. I was angry for years over it, and sort of took a dark pleasure in the fact that his life turned out kinda crappy(I chalked it up to Karma). I've let it go now, but bullying has lasting effects.

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deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was bullied in the 7th and 8th grade and two of my bullies cannot come back to this town because they threatened to pull a school shooting and the other two guys are really nice to me whenever they see me. One of the other guys punched me in the nose in the 7th grade. My dad wanted him punished, but the assistant principal told him that because I pushed this guy he would have to punish us both because I started it. That assistant principal didn't last long at our school. I have forgiven all of these guys and try to go on with my life.

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Cindy Snow
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk about bullying but I still recall one girl telling me " nobody would ever want you" and another time casually threatening to slap me...for joining in a conversation. She is still married to the dumb jock guy she stole from her " friend"...and he's so glad now. I guess I let things go but I do wonder if she was ever sorry( she was a b***h to a lot of other people too).

rainbownews avatar
Rainbow Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate rude people. I wanted to help others by being a police, but my physical abilities do not allow me. Please support people. Bullying is not the answer.

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Lou Lopez
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like other commenters, the extensive bullying I endured in elementary school left me with a lifelong distrust of authority, rage issues, and a willingness to employ physical violence. In my experience, the only thing that stops a bully is putting the fear of pain into them. Teachers would tell me I was "so brave," or "you're really strong" but do nothing to stop the abuse. I would be tormented and harassed until I snapped and then the bullies would go running to the yard duties and *I* would get written up. I'm "over it" now in the sense that I don't carry a grudge against any specific person, but I will never stop being angry at the failure of the adults around me to protect me. To this day I hate those "very special" episodes where the main character in a kids/teen show fights against their bully and then is shamed for it. It seems society is more scandalized by defending yourself than by the bully.

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pusheen buttercup
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly the most significant bullying I got was from the teachers. Yes the other kids bullied me, yes I hated it, but honestly I don't blame them near as much. I know my worst bullies, the teachers, are not going to apologize. I'm at peace with it, and I am happy I did not let it ruin my life. The memories still bother me but I have successfully moved on while taking valuable lessons from it with me- I am stronger for it. I'm happy this one bully decided to own up to it, his child can learn a lot from him.

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Martina Weber
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My bully died because she didn't wear a seatbelt while her drunk friend drove into a wall. Hearing that put a huuuuge involantary smile on my face. The other bully was my father, but still wasn't happy when he died in a motorcycle crash..

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Moo Moo Futch
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I went and asked all those who bullied me growing up for an apology I would be walking a lot. But since one of those bullies broke my right leg and I still suffer from fall out from that particular nasty brake, i have a lot of pain in my leg as a result. It's also longer due to the traction.

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Marc Urruela
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

E pluribus unum, now try share the love, sorry for the openess,

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Bimbit Malaysia
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least he got an apology from his bully, I haven't received mine yet you see my bully lives near my home he's been bullying me Tru primary and high school and occasionally I sometimes see him in my adult life, because his house is close to mine, then he moved out far away and I thought this will be the end of it I won't have to see his face or hear stories about him anymore, skip few years later my bully has become a movie star, with a hot girlfriend actress living rich in his penthouse and still living the dream the same way he was the school jock and prom king, while I'm almost 30 with career not going anywhere, balding and short still live in my mother's basement, don't worry I'm not sharing my story to seek sympathy, I just want to share my story so that for some of. You like me on the toilet while reading comments could have a nice chuckle about it and reflect ,

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Помаже Бог
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk, I've been litteraly bullied during my entire school life (except once I got to Uni). It didn't affect me, I've had a strong mom who taught me how to be strong too, not to care, and to litteraly fight physically anyone who'd cross a line. So I fought a lot as a kid, especially older guys (I was frizzy, overweight, of foreign origins and nerdy...). That got me to be feared, respected, but hated too. Didn't care. We really need to toughen and realize WE ARE NOT THE PROBLEM, the bullies are. We need to teach our kids how to react and stop telling them that "the best way to answer a dummy is by remaining silent", as we're told in france. That's not true. The less you retaliate, the more they push the limits (the bullies). Just see what happened to Marina Abramovic in her experiment, when she let people do litteraly anything they'd want to her, without objecting. STAND UP FOR YOURSELVES. Kids are CRUEL between each other, it's up to you not to undergo this. Be strong. Fight back.

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Ionescu Popa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's worst, the bullies are now rewarded woth recruitment into satanist organizations, that's why bullying will never be solved in the current system, as they used it to select "the fitted"from "the unfitted". Look at them - the bullied one is smaller and thinner, while the bully is an oligophrene monster who got a rewarding job. They are selecting you, people, killing your souls one by one!

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westwing
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I can appreciate the story, I had a bully in school who daily made my life a miserable hell for no reason other than he enjoyed it. I don’t know where he is today but I hope he is dead, and I hope it was painful....

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Dorothy Parker
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wrote in my hometown Facebook group about being bullied by a number of kids in elementary school. One of the boys in my class, whom I hadn't seen in decades, said if he did bully me he was truly sorry. It really helped.

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Jennifer Prescott
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What do you do when the bully is also the popular girl everyone wants to be friends with? Even her friends were afraid of her, she was so mean. When I moved to a new school district, I was thrilled to get away from her...and then ran into her while shopping one day. It was a nightmare and I could barely talk to her. She wanted to know where I'd been and why had I moved and I didn't have the awareness to know how to deal with her without just shrugging and not answering. Meh. Pretty sure she got away with being a bully and thinking she was the nicest person ever. She made elementary school miserable. Being in a new distract was hard but so much better than suffering through HS with her.

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Tenay Douglas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All I know is I had bullies and in fifth grade there were these two guys who I never saw around school but always showed up when the guy (my bully) would come after me, do me all it proved is how weak he was inside to go after a like 3ft tall girl when he was five ft. Best part was when his friends finally told his mom and he got it in front of the whole class then had to apologize too, never bullied me again.

catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for his friends for behaving decently. I’m sure everyone benefited

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catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Zero sympathy for or understanding of this bully or any other. He should just live his damn life and try to stay away from decent humans as much as possible.

ionescupopa avatar
Ionescu Popa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You'll laugh like shyte, but he is considered the decent human now. Onlt two other groups used this kind of negative selection for breeding certain tares in their people - spartans and shadow demons in the Age of Wonders.

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Ranger Kanootsen
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what saddens me is that the teachers never do anything about it...

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Bill
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My bully growing up is one of my best friends since HS. It took one fist fight after 8 years of bullying to fix things.

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HoffLensMetalHedLovesAnimalsUK
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That bully can take his apology and stick up it his a*s, i wasn't ever bullied but i saw people who were, too little too late. Just trying to look less like a d**k in front of your daughter, that's the only reason, fake.

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Nia Loves Art
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So trying to move forward in life, set a good example for his daughter, and be a good parent is fake?

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Krystyna Kielar
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Lisa T
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was bullied for 5 years in high school. Went to an all girls school. By the end of year 10 (16 years old) the majority of my grade disliked me, solely because the “gang” at school was bullying me for so long, so therefore I must be someone to be disliked. This was in the 80’s. I’m now 48 and it has affected my life, but more so now in the last few years as my three kids were/are teenagers so it’s brought it all flooding back. It’s over these last few years that I’ve developed depression and severe anxiety. In hindsight it was always there I think but not to these extremes.

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Mark Fuller
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think most of us were bullied at some point or another in school, to a greater or lessor extent. I was, time heals and life moves on. The bullying I've experienced as an adult in the workplace is a damn sight more painful. And yet grown up bullies barely seem to know they are doing it or how cruel they are. And they sure as hell don't show any signs of apologising...

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Nia Loves Art
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, it truly never ends. I’m in college and there are still awful, catty, obnoxious people. Probably even old age homes have bullies.

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Tacitus86
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got bullied in grade school. It was a really tough time. But I think it made me a stronger person. It also freed me from letting what other people think hurt my mental state.

edsouza avatar
Ed Souza
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was bullied bad when I was freshmen in HS. It was a group of 6 bullies I'll never forget. I actually got into fistfights with 3 of them and it didn't help at all. It got so bad, I started to skip classes... I can totally relate to this guy and feel for both. I have a daughter now and really worry about her and bullies.

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Pseudo Puppy
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

for those who say "forgiveness is for yourself, not them"... this proves the contrary. By "forgiving" someone, it "lifts a weight off their shoulders", and makes them "feel so much better". Forgiveness, by definition, IS 100% about making the other person feel better. "Not holding on to the negative impact of someone else's actions", and "forgiving someone" are 2 totally different things.

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Carol Emory
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's the kicker. You can forgive someone without telling them. If you've forgiven them in your heart, you're the one that benefits from the good feeling. It doesn't mean you have to let them off the hook. I actually demanded an apology from one of my abusers. He spent several minutes trying to claim it never happened. I found out later that he had burned out a good portion of his brain doing heavy duty drugs during and after high school. Not surprised he didn't remember. But it got me thinking that his drug use, like his bullying, was a way for him to deal with his own self-loathing. Even though no apology came, I forgave his cruel acts because there was no point to carrying them around. If I'd kept them, I might have ended up like him..brain half burned out from self-medicating the pain away. It's not worth it to hold onto their inability to cope.

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Leah Helbig
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who wasn't bullied in school kids tried to bully me but soon learned that I don't get mad I get even. Soon everyone learned don't mess with her she is mean when she has to be I teach my kids the same. If someone thinks they can put their hands on you you have the god given right to defend yourself and my kids don't cry about bullying. I broke my worst bully's nose had to serve a week of in school but it was worth it to see her face every time I walked in the room get tougher people or this world will eat you

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Helen Haley
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Usually, the physical bullying will not leave the lasting damage that emotional bullying will. Telling people to toughen up just puts the onus on the victim. Why not tell people to not let their children be aggressive little a******s who will scar other children for life.

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TheExtremeSmell
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk what you guys are talking about. I was never bullied I liked having my head dunked in the toilets. The quarterback was my best friend he’d joke around by putting me in a locker or having sex with my mom.

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Shart
Community Member
4 years ago

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And lets be honest..as much as boys physically bully one another...girls take it to a whole another level.

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Shart
Community Member
4 years ago

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Im sorry but if your actually looking for your bully 20 yrs later....something upstairs isnt running right

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