I've been an incredibly shy kid. Growing up shy can be quite challenging, and because I am still struggling today I drew some comics about being the shy kid.
Scroll down to check them out!
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Why Is This So Hard?
The same happens in corporate meeting rounds. You start preparing how to introduce yourself. "Hello I am X Y, I work as ABC....No: hello, X Y my name, currently working on ABC. No. Ok, still two people before I need to go. Wait, why is the person next to me leaving the room? Everyone eyeing me now? Oh, It is my turn..." – "Herrg Err Err, I X Y am, uh, er, working also here, yes, er, thank you."
Missed Opportunities And All That Regret Afterwards
It took a year of offering to get my son's girlfriend to accept my offers of after school snacks- in contrast, his best (male) friend knows where I keep the rice cakes that I buy just for him. I was the kid that would be dying of hunger at friend's houses- I hate to think that our guests are uncomfortable in any way
So true!! Plus it’s a challenge because I’m such a hypocrite about this because I’ll deny myself food until I practically pass out if I’m at a new friends house etc, but then INSIST that other people have to eat because I don’t want them to get hungry...
That's interesting. Is that a mentality difference? Here it's seen as kind of rude to not accept/eat food offered so it's kind of the opposite, I'll sometimes fail at refusing stuff I really don't like(and then I also have to say it's super nom and all) XD
Typical moms and grannys offering food as for a whole country, and, if you don't finish it, asking "don't you like it?" with that offended face...
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im the opposite i accept the snack because otherwise i think i am rude
My gosh this happens to me CONSTANTLY. Once I was at this playpark sort of place as a kid. I went with a few kids I knew and a kid I really didn't know too well, and that kid's mom was the chaperone. So we were buying snacks and everyone else got water bottles and I was like "just give me a cup, I can fill it in the water fountain." because I'd seen my mom do that before. And she was like, "No it's fine," But I INSISTED even though I really wanted a water bottle, but thought it's too late to turn back now. And then everyone laughed at me. I was like eight or nine.
I was raised this way. "People only offer you things as a gesture, you are never to accept" So now if one of my kids' friends declines I say "ok I'll just leave it right here in case you want it later." I never take it away.
I'm not particularly bold, but I don't relate to this. If you're hungry, eat if it's offered.
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It's even worse if you're shy AND raised in a Methodist house... :-(
Me at my Best Friend house: Hey mom number three can im gonna make a sandwich ok thx! I call her mom 3 cause i have my mom and a stepmom as well
Seems my comment to this disappeared or at least I can't see it here now o.O Was saying that this one seems amusing to me, different mentality I guess? Here it's considered kind of rude to refuse a treat if offered by the host. So shy me has actually agreed to stuff she really didn't want on more than one occasion(also had to politely say it's all nom and all afterwards) XD
Then you were raised in a healthy environment Congratulations! This isn't stupid - it's how a person (clearly more than one person) feels. Feelings aren't stupid and people like you who invalidate peoples feelings only send shy people further down the hole.
Load More Replies...Simple Questions Are So Hard To Ask
Sometimes People Think You're Arrogant Or Cold
As If School Life Wasn't Hard Enough
When Is Talking Not Awkward? Sometimes I Can't Tell
I quite often sit there going "ok it's too late now" "well it's DEFINITELY too late now" "damn I could have said something but its been 2 days so maybe not"
I can so relate to all of these as a child - then they inventet the internet
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Relatable. I've worked very hard to get better and less awkward and to appear less weird to people but it's hard. It shouldn't be, just open my mouth and say something, but it is and I hate it. All you fellow shy people out there; Don't give up!
I'm 37 now and still working hard on that, and STILL not understanding why people get triggered by something I say instead of asking if they understood well what I wanted to say and ask me to try to rephrase it/simplify... 🙄 For this reason I'm a black sheep even in my own family 😓 I used to not understand the difference in saying what you want and call it "blunt truth" (it's not) vs. saying what you want in a way that won't hurt people (and still tell the truth). Even that still didn't change the triggering in some people, after which point it really stops being my fault. Some people are hurting at some times and they are most irritable during those; some people choose to get offended (aka "thin skins") no matter what. I personally put political correctness under the latter (calling black people "African Americans" - even if many of them have never seen Africa - or won't erase the centuries of suffering white people forced them to; it only makes white people feeling better about themselves 🙄... and this is just one example).
Load More Replies... I used to be like that. Hated group works at school. But I'm getting older and I don't give a s$&t anymore! Now, I care those who are shy because I know how they think and feel.
Same same! As I got older I just felt no point in caring that much anyways and say whatever I always wanted to say. But definitely I knowvl how it feels to be that shy/quiet person
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Hm....I can't really relate to being shy like this. But I'm grateful for these comics - might help me understand someone who is shy better. Maybe even help me to interact with them better. Thanks! :)
So true! I can totally relate. I once walked up to someone after mentally preparing myself for over ten minutes and all that came out was " You are wearing a striped shirt" and then I swiftly walked away. Haha
Finally a person who considers this SHY not a social phobia :) I know a shy person and they are extremely nice, you just have to know how to approach them :)
When I read these comics I was thinking that this almost seems like a social anxiety to me. Hope you have help and hope the girl who drew the comics can turn things around before that happens. It looks like such a difficult life....
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I see my daughter all over this. It's such a hard thing to witness her struggle and not be able to help.
Ditto. My kid has lovely friends but is reluctant to make the first move, suggest they come over, etc. I fear they'll forget her once they're not seeing each other at school every day. And I can't even lead by example as I have no friends of my own.
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People limit themselves when they think about others too much. It's your life, don't waste it trying to please others or thinking about their feelings or reactions. Just be you and live for you and you'll feel free and happier.
Looks a lot like my social anxiety... which I do not consider as 'shy' but was called it manyyyyy times. Hope you're managing. much love x
Relatable. Working on it though. Much easier for me to talk about something I'm good at/extremely interested in(hobbies and stuff), I'll get superchatty then. I think my biggest issue I go into "omg-what-will-they-think-of-me-but-what-if-they-think-I-sound-stupid" mode with new people. "New" can last a while too. Once it finally dawns on my cowardly little self that the people are in fact quite friendly(took my extremely nice colleagues perhaps a month of working together daily(albeit our job isn't the most chatty one but still)), like me and don't mind my quirks if they even notice them, then I finally become, like, a proper person capable of inserting comments in others' conversations(amazing, isn't it?!), asking questions and making suggestions, etc. I always wonder what I seem like to others during those first times/time but as far as I'm aware, apparently I manage to make an extremely smart and nice impression(no idea why lol but that makes me feel better) XD
The biggest issue I have with is having to "chat" aka talk to strangers or acquaintances about superficial, unimportant stuff. And if I try talking about what really matters to me (science, global and societal issues, nutrition and cooking, geeky stuff etc), people usually disappear from my life for good because it's "too soon for deeper conversations" or "they think I'm criticising them" (in case I ask a lot of questions, and I do since I'm very curious by nature). 🙄 Or at least, that's how my counsellor explained it 😅
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Omg YES. I once spent the night at a. Friends house and I was dropped off after they had dinner - but my family hadn't eaten yet. I WAS STARVING but couldn't bring myself to dare ask for food! I didn't want to impose. I called home at 10pm asking to pick me up. I left Never giving an explanation and avoided the girl out of unbearable shame. I was 9... 3 decades later and I still can't make friends of substance- I just walk around lonely, too afraid to let anyone really know me.
Hm, that seems a bit too extreme to me .. but hopefully she will grow out of it.
For me it went sorta backwards - I was a smart, talkative, extroverted and people-loving child, so much so that I had no problem standing in front of everyone and leading the kindergarten show. And then I met other children and later on, other people 🙄
I can totally relate to these, but I debate the term 'shy' - to me this is classic introvert. Being shy means fearing social disapproval and it is far from being the same as introvert. I for one, as an intovert, am absolutely unfazed by others' opinion, yet still sometimes feel a mild anxiety when I need to reach out to people. As a kid it was the same just the feeling was much stronger. With age you get used to the feeling and learn to control it. So those of us here who say this is much better now because we care much less - that is because we never really cared, just grown into handling our anxiety. Or so I see it.
There's a difference between being shy and having social anxiety. These all depict social anxiety, not shyness.
This is so me... I think the worst is when you're in class and the teacher is randomly trying to find someone to answer the question and you know the answer but there is no way you're raising your hand and then he picks you anyways. My heart beats so hard that I can barely hear myself speak.
I can relate to each and every comic posted here. Thank you so much for showing me I am not alone.
I can so relate to all of these as a child - then they inventet the internet
Load More Replies... Relatable. I've worked very hard to get better and less awkward and to appear less weird to people but it's hard. It shouldn't be, just open my mouth and say something, but it is and I hate it. All you fellow shy people out there; Don't give up!
I'm 37 now and still working hard on that, and STILL not understanding why people get triggered by something I say instead of asking if they understood well what I wanted to say and ask me to try to rephrase it/simplify... 🙄 For this reason I'm a black sheep even in my own family 😓 I used to not understand the difference in saying what you want and call it "blunt truth" (it's not) vs. saying what you want in a way that won't hurt people (and still tell the truth). Even that still didn't change the triggering in some people, after which point it really stops being my fault. Some people are hurting at some times and they are most irritable during those; some people choose to get offended (aka "thin skins") no matter what. I personally put political correctness under the latter (calling black people "African Americans" - even if many of them have never seen Africa - or won't erase the centuries of suffering white people forced them to; it only makes white people feeling better about themselves 🙄... and this is just one example).
Load More Replies... I used to be like that. Hated group works at school. But I'm getting older and I don't give a s$&t anymore! Now, I care those who are shy because I know how they think and feel.
Same same! As I got older I just felt no point in caring that much anyways and say whatever I always wanted to say. But definitely I knowvl how it feels to be that shy/quiet person
Load More Replies... Hm....I can't really relate to being shy like this. But I'm grateful for these comics - might help me understand someone who is shy better. Maybe even help me to interact with them better. Thanks! :)
So true! I can totally relate. I once walked up to someone after mentally preparing myself for over ten minutes and all that came out was " You are wearing a striped shirt" and then I swiftly walked away. Haha
Finally a person who considers this SHY not a social phobia :) I know a shy person and they are extremely nice, you just have to know how to approach them :)
When I read these comics I was thinking that this almost seems like a social anxiety to me. Hope you have help and hope the girl who drew the comics can turn things around before that happens. It looks like such a difficult life....
Load More Replies... I see my daughter all over this. It's such a hard thing to witness her struggle and not be able to help.
Ditto. My kid has lovely friends but is reluctant to make the first move, suggest they come over, etc. I fear they'll forget her once they're not seeing each other at school every day. And I can't even lead by example as I have no friends of my own.
Load More Replies... People limit themselves when they think about others too much. It's your life, don't waste it trying to please others or thinking about their feelings or reactions. Just be you and live for you and you'll feel free and happier.
Looks a lot like my social anxiety... which I do not consider as 'shy' but was called it manyyyyy times. Hope you're managing. much love x
Relatable. Working on it though. Much easier for me to talk about something I'm good at/extremely interested in(hobbies and stuff), I'll get superchatty then. I think my biggest issue I go into "omg-what-will-they-think-of-me-but-what-if-they-think-I-sound-stupid" mode with new people. "New" can last a while too. Once it finally dawns on my cowardly little self that the people are in fact quite friendly(took my extremely nice colleagues perhaps a month of working together daily(albeit our job isn't the most chatty one but still)), like me and don't mind my quirks if they even notice them, then I finally become, like, a proper person capable of inserting comments in others' conversations(amazing, isn't it?!), asking questions and making suggestions, etc. I always wonder what I seem like to others during those first times/time but as far as I'm aware, apparently I manage to make an extremely smart and nice impression(no idea why lol but that makes me feel better) XD
The biggest issue I have with is having to "chat" aka talk to strangers or acquaintances about superficial, unimportant stuff. And if I try talking about what really matters to me (science, global and societal issues, nutrition and cooking, geeky stuff etc), people usually disappear from my life for good because it's "too soon for deeper conversations" or "they think I'm criticising them" (in case I ask a lot of questions, and I do since I'm very curious by nature). 🙄 Or at least, that's how my counsellor explained it 😅
Load More Replies... Omg YES. I once spent the night at a. Friends house and I was dropped off after they had dinner - but my family hadn't eaten yet. I WAS STARVING but couldn't bring myself to dare ask for food! I didn't want to impose. I called home at 10pm asking to pick me up. I left Never giving an explanation and avoided the girl out of unbearable shame. I was 9... 3 decades later and I still can't make friends of substance- I just walk around lonely, too afraid to let anyone really know me.
Hm, that seems a bit too extreme to me .. but hopefully she will grow out of it.
For me it went sorta backwards - I was a smart, talkative, extroverted and people-loving child, so much so that I had no problem standing in front of everyone and leading the kindergarten show. And then I met other children and later on, other people 🙄
I can totally relate to these, but I debate the term 'shy' - to me this is classic introvert. Being shy means fearing social disapproval and it is far from being the same as introvert. I for one, as an intovert, am absolutely unfazed by others' opinion, yet still sometimes feel a mild anxiety when I need to reach out to people. As a kid it was the same just the feeling was much stronger. With age you get used to the feeling and learn to control it. So those of us here who say this is much better now because we care much less - that is because we never really cared, just grown into handling our anxiety. Or so I see it.
There's a difference between being shy and having social anxiety. These all depict social anxiety, not shyness.
This is so me... I think the worst is when you're in class and the teacher is randomly trying to find someone to answer the question and you know the answer but there is no way you're raising your hand and then he picks you anyways. My heart beats so hard that I can barely hear myself speak.
I can relate to each and every comic posted here. Thank you so much for showing me I am not alone.
